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N. V.

HORE SARISBURIENSES.

PRIVATE CORRESPONDENCE.

Inter strepere anser olores.-VIRGIL.

GENTLEMEN,

Upon seeing your publication I was incited with a strong desire of sending in a contribution. "Let me

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see," said I to myself, shall I write prose or poetry ?" I determined on the latter, and betook myself to Lempriere, my usual resource, in former times, under similar cases of emergency. As I was turning over the leaves, in order to search for a hero, the name of Hannibal met my eye;-the Carthaginian warrior dazzled my glowing fancy, and, after an immensity of labor, my ideas flowed in the following lines:

Teach me, O Muse, to sing in humble strain
The deeds of Hannibal on Cannæ's plain,-

How o'er the snow-capp'd Alps he forc'd his way,
Till then impassable

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Here my poetical inspiration, which (as you may observe) was gradually decreasing at the utterance of every word, became utterly exhausted, and unable to proceed. I found more difficulty in overcoming the "snow-capped" mountains than, I will venture to say, that renowned general ever experienced. After reflecting on "Poeta nascitur," I abandoned my fruitless attempt, convinced that the subject was by far too sublime for a young beginner, and that my Muse had indeed made but an humble effort. I next thought of a prose dissertation upon the prevailing absurdities in dress, manners, &c. I began with great industry to note down the following hints: Cloaks Expletives (scilicet), Gad-'Pon my soul. - Fine day, &c. — Cigars — Long whiskers or no whiskers-Brass spurs-Top boots on Sunday (prevalent amongst apprentices); Mem.-Anecdote on Shaking Hands, with " How d'ye do, my good fellow; particularly glad to see you"-the lengthened grasp, when, alas! the unfortunate, who is thus assaulted, is anxious only to disengage his hand, which, being incommoded by an awful ring, runs considerable risk of being minus his little finger. Mem.-To account for the ring being on the right hand. Inconvenience of wearing great coats with deep collars (some excuse for cloaks), they being inimical to the comfortable position of the neck. Mem. To touch slightly on their being patronized by medical men- -reason-productive of stiff necks. On these I was to have treated, more or less, in terms of reprobation; but, on reperusing my items, I gave up the subject, fearing I was incompetent to the task, or, at all events, doubting whether, even if it were finished, you would deem it worthy of insertion in the " Horæ Sarisburienses." Some time elapsed before I could summon sufficient resolution to make a third attempt; though I confess to you that I could not prevail on myself to relinquish an undertaking, which, at times, was so full of flattering anticipation, and even in my most heartless hours was not without a hope I resolved to write a paper On the airs, and assumed consequence universally visible in little men." The idea exhilirated me amazingly. I selected for my motto "Homunculi quanti sunt, cum

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recogito," but well-a-day! when I sat down to begin, I repeated the motto, drew sundry heads on my paper, hummed a tune, and snuffed the candle: all would not do. The erectness of their stature-their sparrow-like steps, and all the absurdities which the Homunculi are heirs to, were thrown away upon me. You may guess

I was no little disappointed at my failures, and it was really some time before I had courage even to think upon a new subject. At last I set to work again, and marshalled-Death-Envy-Love-Avarice, and a whole host of passions, wherewith to recruit myself. These subjects, however, had been so hacknied that nothing remained for me to suggest. How is it," said I, "that Phædrus tells us Sua cuique sit animi cogitatio colorque proprius?" Where then is mine? Alas! I have never found it; for though I like and understand the generality of good things, yet I verily believe, that, were my life to be extended to twice its natural duration, I should never give birth to one original idea." Such being the case, I was compelled to resign all pretensions to authorship; but, as sorrows, when communicated, become lighter, I feel some satisfaction in making my case known to you, and hope, (though you will not thank me for the wish) that it will not prove singular. Gentlemen,

I am,

Your's, &c.

ANSER.

P. S.-I am positively consoled for my failure, by accidentally seeing Addison's idea of those scribblers whom I was just now emulating, and with this I will close my paper ::

"There is no species of scribblers more offensive, and more incurable, than your periodical writers, whose works return upon the public on certain days, and at stated times.'

Mem. (By the Editors.) We trust that Anser' does not intend the Postscript' to allude to our publication. An exception must certainly be made in favor of the "" Horæ.'

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