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Poems the Doctor Should Know

Medical Miscellany

KNOCK OUT THE HEL HOMER CLARK BENNETT, M. D., Lima, Ohio.

There's one kind o' knocker that's bound to succeed,
We've got several million, an' more if we need,
They're comin' in droves, with their chins in the air,
An' in a short time they'll be "over there"

To knock all the hel out of Wilhelm.

The boys o' this nation are "mad" as can be,
Because o' that fellow, just over the sea,
Who thinks he can lick 'em, but they all "guess not,”
An' are joinin' the army an' navy red-hot

To knock all the hel out of Wilhelm.

They say that he's plannin' to “boss" all the earth,
An' 'll back up his bettin' for all that he's worth,
But when he gets through with this rumpus he'll see
That somethin' has “happened," .for we certainlee

Will knock all the hel out of Wilhelm.

Uncle Sam's on the job, an' the time's drowin' nigh,
For us folks to "butt in" an' make the fur fly;
When Sammy's riled up an' gets a good start
He never backs down, an' 'll sure do his part
. To knock all the hel out of Wilhelm.

Then, “Here's to the Knocker” we all like to see When the “Red, White an' Blue" from the “Land o'

the Free" Gets into this action, then somethin'll drop, Just watch how those "rookies" go "over the top"

To knoek all the hel out of Wilhelm.

ON BEING THE BROTHER OF THE PRODIGAL

SON The Bible tells of the son who demanded his share of the father's estate; went to a far country; made a fool of himself, and returned home starving, all his wealth wasted. There is another brother in that story, who stayed at home, worked hard, and behaved himself all those years; and he was a little tried when the father killed the fatted calf for the returned ne'er-to-do-well. We cannot help feeling a thrill of sympathy for that prosiac, stay-at-home brother. What is the use of being good if the prodigal not only gets the fun of his "riotous living," but also wins the fatted calf in the end ?

Sometimes, we feel that our little "Journal" is that elder brother. It has been good an its life. It accepted a standard of ethical advertising'at a period when such a standard was not dreamed of by the mass of medical publications. As the elder son was always a loyal worker for his father, so have we always worked loyally for the standards set up by our parent, the A. M. A. The recommendations of its Committee, as embodied in “New and Nonofficial Remedies," are spread upon our pages faithfully, and thus many dollars' worth of free advertising is given the products there endorsed. However, when it comes to passing around juicy slices of the fatted calf, we somehow fail to be included at the barbecue. The manufacturers of these “New and Nonofficial" products seem oblivious to our existence when the time arrives for placing their advertising contracts. We fail, also, to notice any strong pressure upon them from our worthy head, the A. M. A. A little influence from that direction, to secure advertising support for a magazine that acepts the A. M. A. standards, might do wonders. Apparently, however, the father is more interested in tempting the prodigal magazines back to rectitude than in giving a helping hand to those that never went astray.

Meanwhile the prodigal is getting the fatted calf and all the trimmings. We can scarcely pick up a magazine of the type whose standards we scorn with: out seeing these very “New and Nonofficial" products advertised alongside "Sanatogen,". "Musterole," and all the rest. Why will manufacturers of good remedies support such publications?

Sometimes the rewards of virtue seem to meagre. We feel like the country parson's good wife, who now and then felt a wild desire to go off somewhere and be as wicked as she knew how. There may be a heaven for medical magazines, where the "Journal" will get its reward, but we should hate to think that it must die before it can receive its deserts! Meanwhile, we should like a share of the prodigal's fatted calf!--Editorial Cleveland Medical Journal, January 1918.

(Editor's Note: We sympathize deeply with our brother journalist, and realize that it must indeed be very hard to be good, especially when one is hungry! In fact, we once tried it! We are frank to say that the fate alluded to in the last paragraph above seems inevitable, in the light of events in the past. Our readers will remember the fate of the Cincinnati Lancet-Clinic, which died "trying to be good.")

LAUS MEDICI All hail to the Doctor! The kindliest soul You can meet on earth's circle from tropic to pole; A friend ever ready, resourceful and bold, He is tender to childhood, to young and to old.

From the sweetest of slumbers he starts at your call;
For your rescue and welfare will venture his all;
He halts not to question your rank or your wealth,
But is yours on the moment for succor and health.

Though he seems like an angel in anguish and woe,
His grand self-denial how little ye know!
Ye. may search among thousands, yet never will find
Another more truly, unselfishly kind.

And the day is not distant when all shall behold
The Banner of Health o'er the nations unroll'd,
And the Doctor acknowledg’d, by tongue and by pen,
As the champion of truth and the lover of men!

-R. H. G. Osborne, Morrisville, Pa.,

in Bucks Co. Med. Monthly.

“MY DUTYTo use what gifts I have as best I may,

To help some weaker brother where I can, To be as blameless at the close of day,

As when the duties of the day began. To do without complaint what must be done,

To grant my rival all that may be just, To win through kindness all that may be won, To fight with knightly valor when I must.

S. E. KISER.

Bone Dry We are urged to eat cheese, by the Food Conservation board. But what to take with it? Nearly all the places where they serve cheese have closed upor at least have abolished free luneh!

DOCTOR

Would you speculate in OIL

IF

You believed you had a reasonable chance for success

Now we are not offering a sure thing

BUT

If an investment in a small company operating in a new district where the wells are coming in with daily production of from 300 to 3000 barrels would look attractive to you

THEN

Read the adjoining pages and if you are game, we will certainly hear from you.

When Writing to Our Advertisers, Please Mention The Medical Hrald

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Stanhope, Stevenson, Bryden and other leases have had wells come in recently at reported productions of 300 barrels to 3,000 barrels daily.

No dry holes have as yet been reported at the deep sands. . Now consider the Hull No. 1 came in during the excitement at “Towanda" and the development in the Hull District was retarded by reason of being overshadowed by the “Gushers” at “Towanda."

Development in the Hull District has been better recently and 12 producing oil wells with 6 drilling wells and no dry holes show the trend of thought among OIL MEN, not promoters.

Acreage has risen to from $250 to $500 per acre during the past 60 days, due to the new wells and their 300 to 3,000 barrel production.

Now would an investment in a small company owning 120 acres of leases in the heart of this district look GOOD TO YOU?

Forty acres additional is tied

up pending approval and will inRead this clipping from the Kansas crease the holdings to 160 acres. City Times of December 28, 1917:

Remember, all oil is a gamble,

the degree of chance is regulated glur vius under the plan. '

by the desirability of the acreA A NEW OIL BOOM AT EUREKA. ! age to be drilled from the standic! Striking of 600-Barrel Gasher Opens point of the geology and proxa Sew Kansas Fieldi

imity to production. le EUREKA, Kas., Dec. 27.-Oil interest

We believe it is better policy all in Greenwood County increased today it when it became ,known that the Mid.

to get into a company of low y | Kansas Oil Company had brought in a

capitalization operating in the s big oil well on its Bryden lease, ten

heart of an infant pool, than to e miles west of Eureka. The oil sand was

play, on the feather edge of old I struck yesterday at 2,345 feet and the e drill was sent through thirty-eight feet of districts where the chances are e pay sand. The hole stands almost full of more against you. el oil and an attempt to bail it out pred paratory to shooting has proven futile, i

The Lexington Oil Corporag. as the oil comes in as rapidly as it can tion is capitalized at $100,000. ni be bailed out. Oil scouts say the well or is good for five hundred barrels settled

The shares are par value $1.00, n production. The Bryden well is one non-assessable. y mile northeast of the Hull No. 1, which n is making four hundred barrels on the

The officers and directors ir pump. It opens up a new territory

draw no salaries.
north and east of the proven field. The
| Flint Hills Petroleum Company is drill-

The company maintains no exing an offset to the Bryden.

pensive offices. New York and Boston Curb Stocks.

No stockholder owns over

3,000 shares.
This clipping is only one of a series of
articles which have run in the Kansas

We prefer investments of $50
City Times and Star on wells which have

to $1,000. : come in recently in this district.

We confidently think this property has better than a Fifty

Fifty chance.
The small capitalization means big profits should production be secured.

The officers and directors are men •of clean past reputations and can be relied upon to run the company honestly. E. M. Taubman, President. President Commercial Bank of Lexington, Mo.

Read next page

-52

When Writing to Our Advertisers, Please Mention The Medical Herald

E. T. Stier, Vice-President. Merchant, Lexington, Mo.

"Ike” H. Noyes, Secretary-Treasurer. County Treasurer La Fayette County, Mo.

Ernest Hoffman, Director. Brewer, Ice Factory, etc., Lexington, Mo.
C. L. Wilson, Director. County Tax Collector, Lexington, Mo.

Prof. H. T. Phillips, Director. County Superintendent Schools, La Fayette County, Mo.

Dr. M. D. Wilson, Director. Lexington, Mo.
This Directorate is such as to merit your confidence in their integrity.

Only 25,000 shares are being sold at $1.00. This will leave 25,000 shares unissued.

. Part of the 25,000 shares have been sold, so you see you had best get busy if you are GAME and it LOOKS GOOD TO YOU.

Note the map. Every arrow points from production or drilling wells to our lease.

Since the map was compiled 5 new wells shown thereon as drilling have come in good producers. Several new rigs are up.

Now your judgment and ours may differ, so look it over and remember if we HIT BIG and you passed up this deal you will regret it..

Some FOOLS look for sure thing investments and find a SMOOTH SALESMAN who tells them they will get rich in 30 minutes and “BINGO” they fall for his line of talk and LOSE. What can they expect ? No sure thing exists except death.

Other men wise to conditions pick their bets and take the chance—one or two winners make them fabulous profits on the entire bunch of bets made.

To which class do you belong?

Do you realize one lucky speculation can make you more profit than a LIFETIME of endeavor, saving and slaving?

If not, you better wake up!
The MAN who will not speculate is worse than an AUTO THAT WON'T
RUN, neither will climb the HILL.

Now, in our opinion, this stock is a GOOD GAMBLE! Above the ordinary.
We believe it has better than even chances of GOOD BIG SUCCESS.
We feel confident this entire issue of 25,000 shares will be closed before long.
You can afford to risk something.

You can't afford not to take a chance. Send your checks for not less than $10 or over $1,000 to

C. D. NEFF & COMPANY,

1012 Baltimore,

Kansas City, Mo. Fiscal 'Agents for The Lexington Oil Corporation.

N. B.-Note carefully Map on next page. You cannot pick any flaws in the Prospects—for Production. Can you afford to speculate? Then take a chance!

When Writing to Our Advertisers, Please Mention the Medical Herald

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