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composure. Those occasions are opportunities for the man of real ability in speech.
Do not give way to anger.
Do not lose r.ll sense of balance and of proportion.
Continue to speak as though you had expected the situation.
Make the interrupted talk, the sudden commotion, the absolutely unexpected circumstance, the opportunity for which you have been waiting. Master any and every situation.
1. You have long waited for a time when you could confer with a certain influential man on a matter of great importance to you. You have just approached the subject, when one of his friends joins him and entirely turns the conversation. How will you master the situation?
2. A man accuses you unfairly, becomes more and more angry, and says many insulting things. How should you master the situation?
3. Recall some case of a public speaker who met with most unexpected interruptions while speaking. How did he meet the situation? Was he successful?
4. You are giving an illustrated lecture in the midst of which the lantern operator first misplaces many of your slides, and finally drops and breaks several. How can you speak in order to master the situation?
How to Maintain Good Nature in Speech
KEY WORDS: BE GOOD NATURED.
One of the greatest means of gaining power in speech is to continue good natured in spite of almost every temptation to give way to bad nature of some sort.
There are times and occasions when anger may be sojustified that one should be blamed if he did not become, angry. These times are so rare that, as a rule, you should keep your speech free from every ill natured, or angry word.
No one really respects a man who allows his speech to become habitually unbalanced by temper or even by ill nature.
It is easy to growl and grumble and complain, to speak disparaging words, and to burst into fits of anger at all sorts of trifles.
The effect is bad in two directions. In the first placecomplaint, bitterness, disparagement and anger convey impressions of weakness rather than of strength.
People who hear such speech, even when not directed at them, immediately, consciously or unconsciously, rate the speaker lower than before.
In the second place, complaining or angry words react on the speaker, making him less able to make correct
judgments, to master circumstances, and maintain com'posure when he would really like to do so.
Most important of all, good nature is a powerful element in speech.
The most dangerous fighter is always the one who keeps himself unruffled, and balanced in mind: To be an effective business talker follow these rules:
1. Hold your complaint and your anger in check.
2. Maintain a spirit of such good nature that it will •conquer anything.
A subordinate took offense at the methods of his superior. One day when the superior had called his attention to some fault, he burst into violent anger, and abusive speech. He called his superior "every name in the calendar," voicing the vexation of months. The superior proved his right to a superior position. He kept good natured under the situation, recognized the value of the subordinate's position, and made no abusive or complaining retort. The subordinate might have been discharged, important work might have been disturbed, and the two men might have become enemies. Today they are firm friends.
Instead of complaint, give constructive advice.
Instead of anger keep calm and cool, and make your speech effective through its reflection of your own good nature.
1. You walk with a friend who speaks contemptuously of many people whom you know. How may it work to your advantage if you keep yourself from any ill-natured remarks?
2. You find, in your daily life, that many things go wrong, and that you have many real troubles. Most people grumble about such conditions. How can you make your daily conversations with friends a real help?
3. Think of some person who habitually gives way to sudden anger. In what ways is that person's anger a hindrance to success?
4. When you are next tempted to angry speech control your words and inhibit anger. Notice if you gain or lose by such speech.
5. Think of some one who habitually controls his speech. How much has his self-controlled speech added to his success in life? *
How to Read the Minds of Those to
KEY WORDS: PUT YOURSELF IN HIS PLACE.
If a person could have such wisdom that he could see fully into the minds of other people he would almost never be at a loss for effective speech.
He would know the situation fully and would therefore be prepared to meet it.
No one can ever hope to have such wisdom, but he can at least approach it.
When a parent talks to a child he very largely understands what is passing in the child's mind. This gives the parent an advantage that commands the full respect of the child.
In business life approach the ability that a parent has in dealing with a child. Know what is passing in the minds of those with whom you talk.
Gain that knoivledge by putting yourself in the position of those with whom you talk.
All people, under exactly similar conditions, act somewhat alike. You may easily assume a situation and the attitude toward the situation.