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great vices joined to great virtues; yet, in ting the clasps with the utmost composure, my progress through life, I never yet found left us, quite astonished at the serenity of one instance of their existence : on the his assurance. My wife was particularly contrary, I have ever perceived, that where enraged that nothing could make him the mind was capacious, the affections angry, or make him seem ashamed of his were good. And indeed Providence seems villanies. “My dear,” cried I, willing kindly our friend in this particular, thus to calm those passions that had been raised to debilitate the understanding where the too high among us, “we are not to be heart is corrupt, and diminish the power surprised that bad men want shame : they where there is the will to do mischief. only blush at being detected in doing good, This rule seems to extend even to other but glory in their vices. animals : the little vermin race are ever Guilt and Shame, says the allegory, treacherous, cruel, and cowardly, whilst were at first companions, and, in the bethose endowed with strength and power ginning of their journey, inseparably kept are generous, brave, and gentle.”
together. But their union was soon found “These observations sound well,” re- to be disagreeable and inconvenient to turned I, and yet it would be easy this both. Guilt gave Shame frequent unmoment to point out a man,” and I fixed easiness, and Shame often betrayed the my eye stedfastly upon him, “whose secret conspiracies of Guilt. After long head and heart form a most detestable disagreement, therefore, they at length contrast. Ay, sir,” continued I, raising consented to part for ever. Guilt boldly my voice, "and I am glad to have this walked forward alone, to overtake Fate, opportunity of dete ing him in the midst that went before in the shape of an exeof his fancied security. Do you know cutioner ; but Shame, being naturally this, sir, this pocket-book?”—“Yes, sir,” timorous, returned back to keep company returned he, with a face of impenetrable with Virtue, which in the beginning of assurance, that pocket-book is mine, their journey they had left behind. Thus, and I am glad you have found it.”- And my children, after men have travelled do you know,” cried I, “ this letter ? Nay, through a few stages in vice, Shame fornever falter, man; but look me full in the sakes them, and returns back to wait upon face : I say, do you know this letter ?”— the few virtues they have still remaining.” “That letter? returned he; “yes, it was I that wrote that letter.”_ And how
CHAPTER XVI. could you,” said I, “so basely, so ungrate- The Family use Art, which is opposed with still fully presume to write this letter ? "
greater. "And how came you,” replied he, with WHATEVER might have been Sophia's looks of unparalleled effrontery,“so basely sensations, the rest of the family was easily to presume to break open this letter? consoled for Mr. Burchell's absence by the Don't you know, now, I could hang you company of our landlord, whose visits all for this ? All that I have to do is to now became more frequent, and longer. swear at the next Justice's that you have Though he had been disappointed in pro. been guilty of breaking open the lock of curing my daughters the amusements of my pocket-book, and so hang you all up the town, as he designed, he took every at his door.” This piece of unexpected opportunity of supplying them with those insolence raised me to such a pitch, that little recreations which our retirement I could scarcely govern my passion. “Un- would admit of. He usually came in the grateful wretch! begone, and no longer morning; and, while my son and I fol. pollute my dwelling with thy baseness ! lowed our occupations abroad, he sat with begone, and never let me see thee again ! the family at home, and amused them by Go from my door, and the only punishment describing the town, with every part of I wish thee is an alarmed conscience, which he was particularly acquainted. He which will be a sufficient tormentor !' could repeat all the observations that were So saying, I threw him his pocket-book, retailed in the atmosphere of the playwhich he took up with a smile, and shut- houses, and had all the good things of the
high wits by rote, long before they made bour's family, there were seven of them, their way into the jest books. The inter- and they were drawn with seven oranges, vals between conversation were employed -athing quite out of taste, no variety in life, in teaching my daughters piquet, or some- no composition in the world. We desired times in setting my two little ones to box, to have something in a brighter style; and, to make them sharp, as he called it : but after many debates, at length came to a the hopes of having him for a son-in-law unanimous resolution of being drawn toin some measure blinded us to all his im- gether, in one large historical family piece. perfections. It must be owned, that my This would be cheaper, since one frame wife laid a thousand schemes to entrap would serve for all, and it would be infihim; or, to speak more tenderly, used nitely more genteel; for all families of any every art to magnify the merit of her taste were now drawn in the same manner. daughter. If the cakes at tea eat short As we did not immediately recollect an hisand crisp, they were made by Olivia ; if torical subject to hit us, we were contented the gooseberry wine was well knit, the each with being drawn as independent gooseberries were of her gathering: it was historical figures. My wife desired to be her fingers which gave the pickles their represented as Venus, and the painter peculiar green ; and, in the composition was desired not to be too frugal of his of a pudding, it was her judgment that diamonds in her stomacher and hair. Her mixed the ingredients. Then the poor two little ones were to be as Cupids by woman would sometimes tell the Squire, her side; while I, in my gown and band, that she thought him and Olivia ex- was to present her with my books on the tremely of a size, and would bid both Whistonian controversy. Olivia would be stand up to see which was tallest. These drawn as an Amazon, sitting upon a bank instances of cunning, which she thought of flowers, dressed in a green joseph, richly impenetrable, yet which everybody saw laced with gold, and a whip in her hand. through, were very pleasing to our bene- Sophia was to be a shepherdess, with as factor, who gave every day some new many sheep as the painter could put in for proofs of his passion, which, though they nothing; and Moses was to be dressed out had not arisen to proposals of marriage, with a hat and white feather. Our taste yet we thought fell but little short of it; so much pleased the Squire, that he inand his slowness was attributed sometimes sisted on being put in as one of the family, to native bashfulness, and sometimes to in the character of Alexander the Great, his fear of offending his uncle. An oc- at Olivia's feet. This was considered by currence, however, which happened soon us all as an indication of his desire to be after, put it beyond a doubt that he de introduced into the family, nor could we signed to become one of our family; my refuse his request. The painter was therewife even regarded it as an absolute fore set to work, and, as he wrought with promise.
assiduity and expedition, in less than four My wife and daughters happening to days the whole was completed. The piece return a visit at neighbour Flamborough's, was large, and, it must be owned, he did found that family had lately got their pic- not spare his colours; for which my wife tures drawn by a limner, who travelled the gave him great encomiums. We were all country, and took likenesses for fifteen shil. perfectly satisfied with his performance ; lings a head.
As this family and ours had but an unfortunate circumstance which had long a sort of rivalry in point of taste, our not occurred till the picture was finished, spirit took the alarm at this stolen march now struck us with dismay. It was so upon us; and, notwithstanding all I could very large, that we had no place in the say, and I said much, it was resolved that house to fix it. How we all came to we should have our pictures done too. disregard so material a point is incon.
Having, therefore, engaged the limner, ceivable; but certain it is, we had been all - for what could I do?--our next delibe greatly remiss. The picture, therefore, ration was to show the superiority of our instead of gratifying our vanity, as we hoped, taste in the attitudes. As for our neigh- leaned, in a most mortifying manner,
against the kitchen wall, where the can- ing, she proceeded to remark, that they vas was stretched and painted, much too who had warm fortunes were always sure large to be got through any of the doors, of getting good husbands : “But Heaven and the jest of all our neighbours. One help,” continued she, “the girls that have compared it to Robinson Crusoe's long. none! What signifies beauty, Mr. Thornboat, too large to be removed ; another hill ? or what signifies all the virtue, and thought it more resembled a reel in a bot- all the qualifications in the world, in this te: some wondered how it could be got age of self-interest ? It is not, What is out, but still more were amazed how it ever she ? but, What has she? is all the cry."
“Madam,” returned he, “I highly apBut though it excited the ridicule of prove the justice, as well as the novelty, some, it effectually raised more malicious of your remarks; and if I were a king, it suggestions in many. The Squire's por should be otherwise. It should then, intrait being found united with ours was an deed, be fine times with the girls without honour too great to escape envy.
Scan- fortunes : our two young ladies should be dalous whispers began to circulate at our the first for whom I would provide.” expense, and our tranquillity was con- “Ah, sir," returned my wife, “you are tinually disturbed by persons, who came pleased to be facetious: but I wish I were as friends, to tell us what was said of us a queen, and then I know where my eldest by enemies. These reports we always daughter should look for a husband. But, resented with becoming spirit; but scandal now that you have put it into my head, ever improves by opposition.
seriously, Mr. Thornhill, can't you recomWe once again, therefore, entered into mend me a proper husband for her ? She a consultation upon obviating the malice is now nineteen years old, well grown and of our enemies, and at last came to a reso well educated, and, in
humble opinion, lution which had too much cunning to give does not want for parts. me entire satisfaction. It was this: as our Madam,” replied he, “if I were to principal object was to discover the honour choose, I would find out a person possessed of Mr. Thornhill's addresses, my wife un. of every accomplishment that can make an dertook to sound him, by pretending to ask angel happy: One with prudence, fortune, his advice in the choice of a husband for taste, and sincerity; such, madam, would her eldest daughter.. If this was not found be, in my opinion, the proper husband.” sufficient to induce him to a declaration, it Ay, sir,” said she, “but do
know was then resolved to terrify him with a rival
. of any such person?”—“No, madam,” reTo this last step, however, I would by no turned he, “it impossible to know any means give my consent, till Olivia gave me person that deserves to be her husband : the most solemn assurances that she would she's too great a treasure for one man's posmarry the person provided to rival him session; she's a goddess! Upon my soul, upon this occasion, if he did not prevent I speak what I think-she's an angel!”. it by taking her himself. Such was the “Ah, Mr. Thornhill, you only flatter my scheme laid, which, though I did not poor girl: but we have been thinking of strenuously oppose, I did not entirely marrying her to one of your tenants, whose approve.
mother is lately dead, and who wants a The next time, therefore, that Mr. manager; you know whom I mean, Thornhill came to see us, my girls took Farmer Williams; a warm man, Mr.Thorncare to be out of the way, in order to give hill, able to give her good bread, and who their mamma an opportunity of putting her has several times made her proposals” scheme in execution; but they only retired (which was actually the case); “but, sir," to the next room, from whence they could concluded she, “I should be glad to have overhear the whole conversation. My your approbation of our choice." 'How, wife artfully introduced it, by observing, madam,” replied he, my approbation ! that one of the Miss Flamboroughs was —my approbation of such a choice ! Never. like to have a very good match of it in What! sacrifice so much beauty, and sense, Mr. Spanker. To this the Squire assent- and goodness, to a creature insensible of the blessing! Excuse me, I can never for some time supporting a fictitious gaiety. approve of such a piece of injustice. “You now see, my child,” said I," that And I have my reasons.”— Indeed, sir, your confidence in Mr. Thornhill's passion cried Deborah, “if you have your reasons, was all a dream : he permits the rivalry of that's another affair'; but I should be glad another, every way his inferior, though he to know those reasons.' Excuse me, knows it lies in his power to secure you to madam,” returned he, “they lie too deep himself by a candid declaration.”—“Yės, for discovery” (laying his hand upon his papa," returned she; “but he has his rea. bosom); “they remain buried, rivetted sons for this delay: I know he has. The here."
sincerity of his looks and words convinces After he was gone, upon a general con- me of his real esteem. A short time, I hope, sultation, we could not tell what to make will discover the generosity of his senti. of these fine sentiments. Olivia considered ments, and convince you that my opinion them as instances of the most exalted pas- of him has been more just than yours.” sion; but I was not quite so sanguine : it – "Olivia, my darling," returned I,“every seemed to me pretty plain, that they had scheme that has been hitherto pursued to more of love than matrimony in them; yet, compel him to a declaration has been prowhatever they might portend, it was re- posed and planned by yourself; nor can you solved to prosecute the scheme of Farmer in the least say that I have constrained you. Williams, who, from my daugliter's first But you must not suppose, my dear, that appearance in the country, had paid her I will ever be instrumental in suffering his his addresses.
honest rival to be the dupe of your ill
placed passion. Whatever time you reCHAPTER XVII.
quire to bring your fancied admirer to an Scarcely any Virtue found to resist the Power of explanation shall be granted; but at the long and pleasing Temptation.
expiration of that term, if he is still regardAs I only studied my child's real happiness, less, I must absolutely insist that honest Mr. the assiduity of Mr. Williams pleased me, Williams shall be rewarded for his fidelity. as he was in easy circumstances, prudent, The character which I have hitherto sup: and sincere. It required but very little en ported in life demands this from me, and couragement to revive his former passion; my tenderness as a parent shall never inso that in an evening or two he and Mr. Auence my integrity as a man. Name, Thornhill met at our house, and surveyed then, your day; let it be as distant as you each other for some time with looks of think proper; and in the meantime, take anger; but Williams owed his landlord no care to let Mr. Thornhill know the exact rent, and little regarded his indignation. time on which I design delivering you up Olivia, on her side, acted the coquette to to another. If he really loves you, his own perfection, if that might be called acting good sense will readily suggest that there which was her real character, pretending to is but one method alone to prevent his lavish all her tenderness on her new lover. losing you for ever.” This proposal, which Mr. Thornhill appeared quite dejected at she could not avoid considering as perfectly this preference, and with a pensive air took just, was readily agreed to. She again releave, though I own it puzzled me to find newed her most positive promise of marry. him in so much pain as he appeared to be, ing Mr. Williams, in case of the other's inwhen he had it in his power so easily to sensibility; and at the next opportunity, in remove the cause, by declaring an honour- Mr. Thornhill's presence, that day month able passion. But whatever uneasiness he was fixed upon for her nuptials with his seemed to endure, it could easily be per- rival. ceived that Olivia'sanguish was still greater. Such vigorous proceedings seemed to After any of these interviews between her redouble Mr. Thornhill's anxiety: but what lovers, of which there were several, she Olivia really felt gave me some uneasiness. usually retired to solitude, and there in- In this struggle between prudence and pas. dulged her grief. It was in such a situation sion, her vivacity quite forsook her, and I found her one evening, after she had been every opportunity of solitude was sought,
and spent in tears. One week passed AN ELEGY ON THE DEATH OF away; but Mr. Thornhill made no efforts
A MAD DOG. to restrain her nuptials. The succeeding Good people all, of every sort, week he was still assiduous; but not more
Give ear unto my song, open. On the third, he discontinued his And if you find it wondrous short, visits entirely, and instead of my daughter
It cannot hold you long. testifying any impatience, as I expected,
In Islington there was a man, she seemed to retain a pensive tranquillity,
Of whom the world might say,
That still a godly race he ran, which I looked upon as resignation. For
Whene'er he went to pray. my own part, I was now sincerely pleased
A kind and gentle heart he had, with thinking that my child was going to
To comfort friends and foes; be secured in a continuance of competence
The naked every day he clad,
When he put on his clothes, and peace, and frequently applauded her resolution, in preferring happiness to osten
And in that town a dog was found, tation.
As many dogs there be,
Both mongrel, puppy, whelp, and hound, It was within about four days of her in
And curs of low degree. tended nuptials, that my little family at
This dog and man at first were friends ; night were gathered round a charming fire, But when a pique began, telling stories of the past, and laying
The dog, to gain some private ends, schemes for the future: busied in forming
Went mad, and bit the man. a thousand projects, and laughing at what
Around from all the neighbouring streets
The wond'ring neighbours ran, ever folly came uppermost. "Well, Moses,'
And swore the dog had lost his wits, cried I,“ we shall soon, my boy, have
To bite so good a man. a wedding in the family: what is your The wound it seem'd both sore and sad opinion of matters and things in general?”
To every Christian eye; —“My opinion, father, is, that all things
And while they swore the dog was mad,
They swore the man would die. go on very well; and I was just now think. ing, that when sister Livy is married to
But soon a wonder came to light,
That show'd the rogues they lied : Farmer Williams, we shall then have the
The man recover'd of the bite loan of his cider-press and brewing-tubs
The dog it was that died. for nothing.”—“ That we shall, Moses,' cried I, “and he will sing us ' Death and "A very good boy, Bill, upon my word ; the Lady,' to raise our spirits into the and an elegy that may truly be called bargain. " He has taught that song to tragical. Come, my children, here's Bill's our Dick,” cried Moses ; "and I think he health, and may he one day be a bishop!” goes through it very prettily.”- “ Does he “With all my heart,” cried my wife : so?” cried I; “then let us have it: where “and if he but preaches as well as he is little Dick ? let him up with it boldly.” sings, I make no doubt of him. The most -“My brother Dick,” cried Bill, my of his family, by the mother's side, could youngest, “is just gone out with sister Livy: sing a good song: it was a common saybut Mr. Williams has taught me two songs, ing in our country, that the family of the and I'll sing them for you, papa. Which Blenkinsops could never look straight besong do you choose, “The Dying Swan,' or fore them, nor the Hugginsons blow out a the' Elegy on the Death of a Mad Dog?' candle; that there were none of the Gro_“The elegy, child, by all means, said grams but could sing a song, or of the MarI;“I never heard that yet : and Deborah, jorams but could tell a story.' Howmy life, grief, you know, is dry; let us have ever that be,” cried I, “the most vulgar a bottle of the best gooseberry wine, to ballad of them all generally pleases me keep up our spirits. I have wept so much better than the fine modern odes, and at all sorts of elegies of late, that without things that petrify us in a single stanza, an enlivening glass I am sure this will productions that we at once detest and
your guitar, and thrum in with the boy a Moses. --The great fault of these elegiasts little.
is, that they are in despair for griefs that