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a young fellow of twenty kneeling at the exciseman for his daughter in marriage. feet of a twenty-thousand pounder, pro- The exciseman, willing to deal openly by fessing his passion, while he was taking him, asked if he had seen the girl ;“ for," aim at her money: I do not deny but says he," she is humpbacked.”—“ Very there may be love in a Scottish marriage, well,” cried the stranger, that will do for but it is generally all on one side.
Ay,” says the exciseman, “but Of all the sincere admirers I ever knew, my daughter is as brown as a berry.”a man of my acquaintance, who however So much the better,” cried the stranger; did not run away with his mistress to such skins wear well.”-“But she is Scotland, was the most so. An old excise- bandy-legged,” says the exciseman.—“No man of our town, who, as you may guess, matter," cries the other; “ her petticoats was not very rich, had a daughter who, will hide that defect.". “ But then she is as you shall see, was not very handsome. very poor, and wants an eye. “ Your deIt was the opinion of everybody that this scription delights me,” cries the stranger : young woman would not soon be married, “I have been looking out for one of her as she wanted two main articles, beauty make; for I keep an exhibition of wild and fortune. But, for all this, a very beasts, and intend to show her off for a well-looking man, that happened to be chimpanzee.” travelling those parts, came and asked the
END OF ESSAYS.
Τ Η Ε Β Ε Ε.
No. I.-Saturday, October 6, 1759.
In this debate between fear and ambition THERE is not, perhaps, a more whimsically my publisher happening to arrive, interdismal figure in nature than a man of real rupted for a while my anxiety. Perceiving modesty, who assumes an air of impudence my embarrassment about making my first -who, while his heart beats with anxiety, appearance, he instantly offered his assiststudies ease, and affects good-humour. In ance and advice.“ You must know, sir," this situation, however, a periodical writer says he,“ that the republic of letters is at often finds himself upon his first attempt present divided into three classes. One to address the public in form. All his writer, for instance, excels at a plan or a power of pleasing is damped by solicitude, title-page, another works away the body and his cheerfulness dashed with appre- of the book, and a third is a dab at an hension. Impressed with the terrors of index. Thus a magazine is not the result the tribunal before which he is going to of any single man's industry, but goes appear, his natural humour turns to pert- through as many hands as a new pin, ness, and for real wit he is obliged to before it is fit for the public. I fancy, sir," substitute vivacity. His first publication continues he, “I can provide an eminent draws a crowd; they part dissatisfied; and hand, and upon moderate terms, to draw the author, never more to be indulged with up a promising plan to smooth up our a favourable hearing, is left to condemn readers a little, and pay them as Colonel the indelicacy of his own address or their Charteris paid his seraglio, at the rate of want of discernment.
three halfpence in hand, and three shillings For my part, as I was never distin- more in promises. guished for address, and have often even He was proceeding in his advice, which blundered in making my bow, such bodings however I thought proper to decline, by as these had like to have totally repressed assuring him, that as I intended to pursue my ambition. I was at a loss whether to no fixed method, so it was impossible to give the public specious promises, or give form any regular plan ; determined never none; whether to be merry or sad on this to be tedious in order to be logical, whersolemn occasion. If I should decline all ever pleasure presented, I was resolved to merit, it was too probable the hasty reader follow. Like the Bee, which I had taken might have taken me at my word. If, on for the title of my paper, I would rove the other hand, like labourers in the maga- from flower to flower, with seeming inzine trade, I had, with modest impudence, attention, but concealed choice, expatiate humbly presumed to promise an epitome over all the beauties of the season, and of all the good things that ever were said make my industry my amusement. or written, this might have disgusted those This reply may also serve as an apology readers I most desire to please. Had I to the reader, who expects, before he sits been merry, I might have been censured down, a bill of his future entertainment. as vastly low; and had I been sorrowful, It would be improper to pall his curiosity I might have been left to mourn in solitude by lessening his surprise, or anticipate any and silence ; in short, whichever way I pleasure I am able to procure him by turned, nothing presented but prospects saying what shall come next. Thus much, of terror, despair, chandlers' shops, and however, he may be assured of, that neither
war nor scandal shall make any part of it.