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Now, my lord, as for tripe, it's my utter aversion,
bacon I hate like a Turk or a Persian,
your friend there, the doctor, eats nothing at all.” "O ho!” quoth my friend, “ he'll come on in a trice, He's keeping a corner for something that's nice : There's a pasty.”—“A pasty !” repeated the Jew;
I don't care if I keep a corner for't too." “What the deil, mon, a pasty !” re-echoed the Scot;
Though splitting, I'll still keep a corner for that.” “We'll all keep a corner," the lady cried out ; “We'll all keep a corner," was echoed about. While thus we resolved, and the pasty delay'd, With looks that quite petrified, enter'd the maid ; A visage so sad, and so pale with affright, Waked Priam in drawing his curtains by night. But we quickly found out (for who could mistake her ?) That she canne with some terrible news from the baker: And so it fell out, for that negligent sloven Had shut out the pasty on shutting his oven. Sad Philomel thus—but let similes dropAnd now that I think on't, the story may stop.
To be plain, my good lord, it's but labour misplaced, To send such good verses to one of your taste :
You've got an odd something—a kind of discerning-
very slightly of all that's your own :
Dr Goldsmith and some of his friends occasionally dined at the St James's
Coffee-house. One day it was proposed to write epitaphs on him. His country, dialect, and person, furnished subjects of witticism. He was called on for retaliation, and at their next meeting produced the following poem.
Of old, when Scarron his companions invited,
1 Our landlord :' the master of St James's Coffee-house, where the doctor, and the friends he has characterised in this poem, occasionally dined.? • Dean :' Dr Barnard, Dean of Derry, in Ireland.- 3 • Burke:' Mr Edmund Burke. — • • Will :' Mr William Burke, late secretary to General Conway, and member for Bedwin. LO • Dick:' Mr Richard Burke, Collector of Granada.& • Cumberland : ' Mr Richard Cumberland, author of “The West Indian,' • The Fashionable Lover,' • The Brothers,' and other dramatic pieces. — Dr rick, Esq. 3. Ridge:'Counsellor John Ridge, a gentleman belonging to the Irish bar. 13 Reynolds : ' Sir Joshua Reynolds. — *• Hickey: 'an eminent attorney. –5. Dean : ' see page 37. — 6 • Edmund :' see page 37.—1 Tommy Townshend :' Mr T. Townshend, member for Whitchurch.
Our Garrick’sl a salad ; for in him we see
Here lies the good dean, re-united to earth,
Here lies our good Edmund, whose genius was such, We scarcely can praise it, or blame it, too much ; Who, born for the universe, narrow'd his mind, And to party gave up what was meant for mankind; Though fraught with all learning, yet straining his throat To persuade Tommy Townshend? to lend him a vote ; Who, too deep for his hearers, still went on refining, And thought of convincing, while they thought of dining : Though equal to all things, for all things unfit ; Too nice for a statesman, too proud for a wit; • Douglas,' Canon of Windsor, an ingenious Scotch gentleman, who has no less distinguished himself as a citizen of the world, than a sound critic, in detecting several literary mistakes (or rather forgeries) of his countrymen; particularly Lauder on Milton, and Bower's History of the Popes. — 1 Garrick :' David
For a patriot too cool ; for a drudge disobedient;
Here lies honest William, whose heart was a mint,
ask for his merits?-alas! he had none; What was good was spontaneous, his faults were his own. 50
Here lies honest Richard,2 whose fate I must sigh at;
Here Cumberland 3 lies, having acted his parts,
I William :' see page 37.—2 « Richard:' Mr Richard Burke; see page 37. This gentleman having slightly fractured one of his arms and one of his legs, at different times, the doctor has rallied him on those accidents, as a kind of retributive justice for breaking his jests upon other people. — * Cumberland :' see page 37.
His fools have their follies so lost in a crowd
Here Douglas1 retires from his toils to relax,
Here lies David Garrick, describe him who can,
1 Douglas :' see page 37. – ? Dodds :' the Rev. Dr Dodd.—3 Kenricks :' Dr Kenrick, who read lectures at the Devil Tavern, under the title of · The School of Shakspeare.'- 'Macpherson:' James Macpherson, Esq., lately, from the mere force of his style, wrote down the first poct of all antiquity. -5° Townshend : ' see page 38. — • Lauders and Bowers :' see page 38. — Garrick :' see page 38.