Richland a heart I am convinced she will refuse; as I am confident, that, without knowing it, her affections are fixed upon Mr. Honeywood.

OLIVIA. Mr. Honeywood! You'll excuse my apprehensions; but when your merits come to be put in the balance— LEON. You view them with too much partiality. However, by making this offer, I shew a seeming compliance with my father's command; and, perhaps, upon her refusal, may have his consent to choose for myself.

I

OLIVIA. Well, I submit. And yet, my Leontine, I own I shall envy her even your pretended addresses. I consider every look, every expression of your esteem, as due only to me. This is folly, perhaps: I allow it: but it is natural to suppose, that merit which has made an impression on one's own heart, may be powerful over that of another.

LEON. Don't, my life's treasure, don't let us make imaginary evils, when you know we have so many real ones to encounter. At worst, you know, if Miss Richland should consent, or my father refuse his pardon, it can but end in a trip to Scotland; and

Enter CROAKER.

CRO. Where have you been, boy? I have been seeking you. My friend Honeywood here has been saying such comfortable things. Ah! he's an example indeed. Where is he? I left him here.

LEON. Sir, I believe you may see him, and hear him too, in the next room; he's preparing to go out with the ladies.

CRO. Good gracious! can I believe my eyes or my ears! I'm struck dumb with his vivacity, and stunned with the loudness of his laugh. Was there ever such a transformation! (A laugh behind the scenes, CROAKER mimics it.) Ha ha ha! there it goes: a plague take their

balderdash Yet I could expect nothing less, when my On my conscience, I believe she could spread a horse-laugh through the pews

precious wife was of the party.

of a tabernacle.

LEON. Since you find so many objections to a wife, Sir, how can you be so earnest in recommending one to me?

CRO. I have told you, and tell you again, boy, that Miss Richland's fortune must not go out of the family; one may find comfort in the money, whatever one does in the wife.

LEON. But, Sir, though, in obedience to your desire, I am ready to marry her, it may be possible she has no inclination to me.

CRO. I'll tell you once for all how it stands. A good part of Miss Richland's large fortune consists in a claim upon government, which my good friend, Mr. Lofty, assures me the treasury will allow. One-half of this she is to forfeit, by her father's will, in case she refuses to marry you. So, if she rejects you, we seize half her fortune; if she accepts you, we seize the whole, and a fine girl into the bargain.

I tell you,

LEON. But, Sir, if you will but listen to reason— CRO. Come, then, produce your reasons. I'm fixed, determined; so now produce your reasons. When I'm determined, I always listen to reason, because it can then do no harm.

LEON. You have alleged that a mutual choice was the first requisite in matrimonial happiness.

CRO. Well, and you have both of you a mutual choice. She has her choice-to marry you, or lose half her fortune; and you have your choice-to marry her, or pack out of doors without any fortune at all.

LEON. An only son, Sir, might expect more indulgence. CRO. An only father, Sir, might expect more obedience : besides, has not your sister here, that never disobliged me

in her life, as good a right as you? He's a sad dog, Livy, my dear, and would take all from you. But he shan't, I tell you he shan't, for you shall have your share.

OLIVIA. Dear Sir, I wish you'd be convinced, that I can never be happy in any addition to my fortune which is taken from his.

CRO. Well, well, it's a good child, so say no more: but come with me, and we shall see something that will give us a great deal of pleasure, I promise you; old Ruggins, the curry-comb maker, lying in state: I am told he makes a very handsome corpse, and becomes his coffin prodigiously. He was an intimate friend of mine, and these are friendly things we ought to do for each other.

[Exeunt.

ACT SECOND.

SCENE-CROAKER's House.

Miss RICHLAND, GARNET.

Miss RICH. Olivia not his sister? Olivia not Leontine's sister? You amaze me!

GARNET. No more his sister than I am; I had it all from his own servant: I can get any thing from that quarter.

Miss RICH. But how? Tell me again, Garnet.

GARNET. Why, Madam, as I told you before, instead of going to Lyons to bring home his sister, who has been there with her aunt these ten years, he never went further than Paris: there he saw and fell in love with this young lady-by the bye, of a prodigious family.

Miss. RICH. And brought her home to my guardian as his daughter?

GARN. Yes, and daughter she will be. If he don't

consent to their marriage, they talk of trying what a Scotch parson can do.

Miss RICH. Well, I own they have deceived me—And so demurely as Olivia carried it too!-Would you believe it, Garnet, I told her all my secrets; and yet the sly cheat concealed all this from me?

GARN. And, upon my word, Madam, I don't much blame her she was loth to trust one with her secrets, that was so very bad at keeping her own.

Miss RICH. But, to add to their deceit, the young gentleman, it seems, pretends to make me serious proposals. My guardian and he are to be here presently, to open the affair in form. You know I am to lose half my fortune if I refuse him.

GARN. Yet, what can you do? For being, as you are, in love with Mr. Honeywood, Madam—

Miss RICH. How! idiot, what do you mean? In love with Mr. Honeywood! Is this to provoke me?

GARN. That is, Madam, in friendship with him; I meant nothing more than friendship, as I hope to be married; nothing more.

:

Miss RICH. Well, no more of this. As to my guardian and his son, they shall find me prepared to receive them I'm resolved to accept their proposal with seeming pleasure, to mortify them by compliance, and so throw the refusal at last upon them.

GARN. Delicious! and that will secure your whole fortune to yourself. Well, who could have thought so innocent a face could cover so much 'cuteness!

Miss RICH. Why, girl, I only oppose my prudence to their cunning, and practise a lesson they have taught me against themselves.

GARN. Then you're likely not long to want employment, for here they come, and in close conference.

Enter CROAKER, LEONTINE.

LEON. Excuse me, Sir, if I seem to hesitate upon the point of putting to the lady so important a question.

CRO. Lord! good Sir, moderate your fears; you're so plaguy shy, that one would think you had changed sexes. I tell you we must have the half or the whole. Come, let me see with what spirit you begin: Well, why don't you? Eh! what? Well then-I must, it seems-Miss Richland, my dear, I believe you guess at our business; an affair which my son here comes to open, that nearly concerns your happiness.

Miss RICH. Sir, I should be ungrateful not to be pleased with any thing that comes recommended by you.

CRO. How, boy, could you desire a finer opening? Why don't you begin, I say? [To Leontine.

LEON. 'Tis true, Madam, my father, Madam, has some intentions—hem—of explaining an affair-which-himself -can best explain, Madam.

CRO. Yes, my dear; it comes entirely from my son; it's all a request of his own, Madam. And I will permit him to make the best of it.

LEON. The whole affair is only this, Madam; my father has a proposal to make, which he insists none but himself shall deliver.

CRO. My mind misgives me, the fellow will never be brought on (aside). In short, Madam, you see before you one that loves you, one whose whole happiness is all

in you.

Miss RICH. I never had any doubts of your regard, Sir; and I hope you can have none of my duty.

CRO. That's not the thing, my little sweeting; my love! No, no, another-guess lover than I there he stands, Madam, his very looks declare the force of his passion— Call up a look, you dog! (aside).-But then, had you