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O'course it worn't no wish o' mine, 't wuz By bein' all to once by sev'ral pop'lar ferflely distressin',

names attackted; But poppiler enthusiasm gut so almighty | 'T would save holl haycartloads o' fuss an' pressin'

three four months o’jaw, Thet, though like sixty all along I fumed Ef some illustrous paytriot should back out an' fussed an' sorrered,

an' withdraw; There did n't seem no ways to stop their So, ez I aint a crooked stick, jest like – bringin' on me forrerd:

like ole (I swow, Fact is, they udged the matter so, I I dunno ez I know his name) - I'll go could n't help admittin'

back to my plough. The Father o' his Country's shoes no feet Wenever an Amerikin distinguished polibut mine 'ould fit in,

tishin Besides the savin' o' the soles fer ages to Begins to try et wut they call definin' his succeed,

posishin, Seein' thet with one wannut foot, a pair'd Wal, I, fer one, feel sure he aint gut nothin' be more 'n I need;

to define; An', tell ye wut, them shoes 'll want a It's so nine cases out o'ten, but jest that thund'rin sight o' patchin',

tenth is mine; Ef this ere fashion is to last we've gut into An''t aint no more ’n is proper 'n' right in o' hatchin'

sech sitooation A pair o' second Washintons fer every new To hint the course you think 'll be the election,

savin' o' the nation; Though, fer ez number one 's consarned, I To funk right out o' p’lit'cal strife aint don't make no objection.

thought to be the thing, Without

you deacon off the toon you want I wuz agoin' on to say thet wen at fust I saw your folks should sing; The masses would stick to 't I wuz the So I edvise the noomrous friends thet 's in Country's father-'n-law,

one boat with me (They would ha' hed it Father, but I told To jest up killick, jam right down their 'em 't would n't du,

hellum bard alee, Coz thet wuz sutthin' of a sort they Haul the sheets taut, an', layin' out upon could n't split in tu,

the Suthun tack, An' Washinton hed hed the thing laid Make fer the safest port they can, wich, I fairly to his door,

think, is Ole Zack. Nor dars n't say't worn't his'n, much ez sixty year afore,)

Next thing you 'll want to know, I spose, But 't aint no matter ez to thet; wen I wuz wut argimunts I seem nomernated,

To see thet makes me think this ere 'll be 'T worn't natur but wut I should feel con

the strongest team; sid’able elated,

Fust place, I've ben consid’ble round in An' wile the hooraw o' the thing wuz kind bar-rooms an' saloons o' noo an' fresh,

Agetherin' public sentiment, 'mongst DemI thought our ticket would ha caird the mercrats and Coons, country with a resh.

An' 't aint ve’y offen thet I meet a chap

but wut goes in Sence I've come hum, though, an' looked Fer Rough an' Ready, fair an' square, hufs, round, I think I seem to find

taller, horns, an' skin; Strong argimunts ez thick ez fleas to make I don't deny but wut, fer one, ez fur ez I

me change my mind; It's clear to any one whose brain aint fur did n't like at fust the Pheladelphy nom

gone in a phthisis, Thet hail Columby's happy land is goin' I could ha’ pinted to a man thet wuz, I thru a crisis,

gness, a peg An' 't would n’t noways du to hev the Higher than him, -a soger, tu, an' with a people's mind distracted

wooden leg;


could see,


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But every day with more an' more o' Tay- Turn all his pockets wrong side out an' lor zeal I'm burnin',

quick ez lightnin' clean 'em; Seein' wich way the tide thet sets to office To nary one on 'em I'd trust a secon’. is aturnin';

handed rail Wy, into Bellers's we notched the votes No furder off 'an I could sling a bullock down on three sticks,

by the tail. 'T wuz Birdofredum one, Cass aught, an' Taylor twenty-six,

Webster sot matters right in thet air MashAn' bein' the on’y canderdate thet wuz fiel' speech o' his'n; upon the ground,

“ Taylor," sez he, “ aint nary ways the one They said 't wuz no more 'n right thet I

thet I'd a chizzen, should pay the drinks all round; Nor he aint fittin' fer the place, an' like Ef I'd expected sech a trick, I would n't

ez not he aint ha' cut my foot

No more ’n a tough ole bullethead, an' no By goin' an' votin' fer myself like a con

gret of a saint; sumed coot;

But then," sez be,“ obsarve my pint, be's It did n't make no deff'rence, though; I jest ez good to vote fer wish I may be cust,

Ez though the greasin' on him worn't a Ef Bellers wuz n't slim enough to say


thing to hire Choate fer; would n't trust!

Aint it ez easy done to drop a ballot in a

box Another pint thet influences the minds o' Fer one ez 't is fer t’ other, fer the bull-dog sober jedges

ez the fox ?Is thet the Gin'ral hez n't gut tied hand an' It takes a mind like Dannel's, fact, ez big foot with pledges;

ez all ou' doors, He hez n't told ye wut he is, an' so there To find out thet it looks like rain arter it aint no knowin'

fairly pours; But wut he may turn out to be the best I'gree with him, it aint so dreffle troublethere is agoin';

some to vote This, at the on’y spot thet pinched, the shoe Fer Taylor arter all, — it's jest to go an’ directly eases,

change your coat; Coz every one is free to ’xpect percisely Wen he's once greased, you 'll swaller him wut he pleases:

an never know on't, scurce, I want free-trade; you don't; the Gin'ral Unless he scratches, goin' down, with them is n't bound to neither;

'ere Gin'ral's spurs. I vote my way; you, yourn; an' both air I've ben a votin' Demmercrat, ez reg'lar sooted to a T there.

as a clock, Ole Rough an' Ready, tu, 's a Wig, but But don't find goin' Taylor gives my narves without bein' ultry;

no gret 'f a shock; He's like a holsome hayin' day, thet 's Truth is, the cutest leadin' Wigs, ever sence warm, but is n't sultry;

fust they found He's jest wut I should call myself, a kin' Wich side the bread gut buttered on, hev o' scratch ez 't ware,

kep' a edgin' round; Thet aint exacly all a wig nor wholly your They kin' o' slipt the planks frum out th' own hair;

ole platform one by one I've ben a Wig three weeks myself, jest o' An' made it gradooally noo, 'fore folks this mod'rate sort,

know'd wut wuz done, An' don't find them an' Demmercrats so Till, fur 'z I know, there aint an inch thet defferent ez I thought;

I could lay my han' on, They both act pooty much alike, an' push But I, or any Demmercrat, feels comf'table an' scrouge an' cus;

to stan' on, They're like two pickpockets in league fer An' ole Wig doctrines act'lly look, their Uncle Samwell's pus;

occ'pants bein' gone, Each takes a side, an' then they squeeze Lonesome ez steddles on a mash without no the ole man in between 'em,

hayricks on.

I spose it's time now I should give my

thoughts upon the plan, Thet chipped the shell at Buffalo, o' settin'

up ole Van.

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I used to vote fer Martin, but, I swan, I'm

I clean disgusted, He aint the man thet I can say is fittin' to

be trusted; He aint half antislav'ry 'nough, nor I aint

sure, ez some be, He'd go in fer abolishin' the Deestrick o'

Columby; An', now I come to racollec', it kin' o'makes

me sick 'z A horse, to think o' wut he wuz in eighteen

thirty-six. An' then, another thing;— I guess, though

mebby I am wrong, This Buff’lo plaster aint agoin' to dror al

mighty strong; Some folks, I know, hev gut th' idee thet

No'thun dough 'll rise, Though, 'fore I see it riz an' baked, I

would n't trust my eyes;. 'T will take more emptins, a long chalk,

than this noo party 's gut, To give sech heavy cakes ez them a start, I

tell ye wut. But even ef they caird the day, there would

n't be no endurin' To stan' upon a platform with sech critters

ez Van Buren; An' his son John, tu, I can't think how thet

'ere chap should dare To speak ez he doos; wy, they say he used

to cuss an' swear ! I spose he never read the hymn thet tells

how down the stairs A feller with long legs wuz throwed thet would n't


prayers. This brings me to another pint: the leaders

o' the party Aint jest sech men ez I can act along with

free an' hearty; They aint not quite respectable, an' wen a

feller's morrils Don't toe the straightest kin' o' mark, wy,

him an’ me jest quarrils. I went to a free soil meetin' once, an' wut

d'ye think I see? A feller was aspoutin' there thet act'lly

come to me, About two year ago last spring, ez nigh ez

I can jedge,

Ez fer the niggers, I've ben South, an' thet

hez changed my min’; A lazier, more ongrateful set you could n't

nowers fin'. You know I mentioned in my last thet I

should buy a nigger, Ef I could make a purchase at a pooty

mod'rate figger; So, ez there 's nothin' in the world I'm

fonder of 'an gunnin', I closed a bargain finally to take a feller

runnin'. I shou’dered queen’s-arm an’ stumped out,

an’ wen I come ťth’ swamp, 'T worn't very long afore I gut upon the

nest o' Pomp; I come acrost a kin' o' hut, an', playin round

the door, Some little woolly-headed cubs, ez many 'z

six or more. At fust I thought o' firin', but think twice is

safest ollers; There aint, thinks I, not one on 'em but 's

wuth his twenty dollars, Or would be, ef I hed 'em back into a

Christian land, How temptin' all on 'em would look upon

an auction-stand! (Not but wut I hate Slavery, in th' abstract,

stem to starn, I leave it ware our fathers did, a privit

State consarn.) Soon 'z they see me, they yelled an' run,

but Pomp wuz out ahoein? A leetle patch o' corn he hed, or else there

aint no knowin' He would n't ha' took a pop at me; but I

hed gut the start, An' wen he looked, I vow he groaned ez

though he 'd broke his heart; He done it like a wite man, tu, ez nat’ral ez

a pictur, The imp'dunt, pis'nous hypocrite! wus 'an

a boy constrictur.

guess, an'

“ You can't gum me, I tell ye now, an' so An', come to look, they each on 'em hed you need n't try,

gut behin' a tree, I 'xpect my eye-teeth every mail, so jest An' Pomp poked out the leg a piece, jest shet up," sez I.

so ez I could see, “Don't go to actin' ugly now, or else I'll An' yelled to me to throw away my pistils let her strip,

an' my gun, You'd best draw kindly, seein' 'z how I've Or else thet they'd cair off the leg, an' gut ye on the hip;

fairly cut an' run. Besides, you darned ole fool, it aint no gret I vow I did n't b’lieve there wuz a decent of a disaster

alligatur To be benev'lently druv back to a contented "Thet hed a heart so destitoot o' common master,

human natur; Ware you hed Christian priv'ledges you However, ez there worn't no help, I finally don't seem quite aware on,

give in Or you'd ha' never run away from bein' An' heft my arms away to git my leg safe well took care on;

back agin. Ez fer kin' treatment, wy, he wuz so fond on ye, he said

Pomp gethered all the weapins up, an' then He 'd give a fifty spot right out, to git ye, he come an' grinned, "live or dead;

He showed his ivory some,


sez, Wite folks aint sot by half ez much; 'mem- “You 're fairly pinned; ber I run away,

Jest buckle on your leg agin, an' git right Wen I wuz bound to Cap'n Jakes, to Mat

up 'come, tysqumscot Bay;

'T wun't du fer fammerly men like me to Don' know him, likely ? Spose not; wal, be so long frum hum." the mean old codger went

At fust I put my foot right down an' swore An' offered wut reward, think? Wal, I would n't budge. it worn't no less 'n a cent."

“Jest es you choose,” sez he, quite cool,

“ either be shot or trudge.” Wal, I jest gut 'em into line, an' druv 'em So this black-hearted monster took an' on afore me;

act'lly druv me back The pis'nous brutes, I'd no idee o' the ill-Along the very feetmarks o' my happy will they bore me;

mornin' track, We walked till som'ers about noon, an' An' kep' me pris'ner 'bout six months, an' then it grew so hot

worked me, tu, like sin, I thought it best to camp awile, so I chose Till I hed gut bis corn an' his Carliny out a spot

taters in; Jest under a magnoly tree, an' there right He made me larn him readin', tu (although down I sot;

the crittur saw Then I unstrapped my wooden leg, coz it How much it hut my morril sense to act begun to chafe,

agin the law), An' laid it down 'longside o' me, supposin' So'st he could read a Bible he'd gut; an' all wuz safe;

axed ef I could pint I made my darkies all set down around me The North Star out; but there I put his in a ring,

nose some out o' jint, An' sot an' kin' o' ciphered up how much Fer I weeled roun' about sou'west, an', the lot would bring;

lookin' up a bit, But, wile I drinked the peaceful cup of a Picked out a middlin' shiny one an' tole pure heart an’ min?

him thet wuz it. (Mixed with some whiskey, now an' then), Fin’lly he took me to the door, an' givin' Pomp he snaked up behin',

me a kick, An' creepin' grad'lly close tu, ez quiet ez a Sez, “Ef you know wut's best fer ye, be mink,

off, now, double-quick; Jest grabbed my leg, an' then pulled foot, The winter-time 's a comin' on, an' though quicker 'an you could wink,

I gut ye cheap,


You're so darned lazy, I don't think you 're thing is that the messenger believe that he has hardly wuth your keep;

an authentic message to deliver. For counterBesides, the childrin 's growin' up,

feit messengers that mode of treatment which an' you

Father John de Plano Carpini relates to have aint jest the model

prevailed among the Tartars would seem efI'd like to hev 'em immertate, an' so you'd | fectual, and, perhaps, deserved enough. For better toddle!”

my own part, I may lay claim to so much of the

spirit of martyrdom as would have led me to Now is there anythin'on airth 'll ever prove

go into banishment with

those clergymen whom

Alphonso the Sixth of Portugal drave out of to me

his kingdom for refusing to shorten their pulpit Thet renegader slaves like him air fit fer eloquence. It is possible, that, having been inbein’ free?

vited into my brother Biglow's desk, I may D' think they 'll suck me in to jine the

have been too little scrupulous in using it for you Buff’lo chaps, an' them

the venting of my own peculiar doctrines to a

congregation drawn together in the expectation Rank infidels thet go agin the Scriptur'l and with the desire of hearing him. cus o' Shem?

I am not wholly unconscious of a peculiarity Not by a jugfull ! sooner ’n thet, I'd go

of mental organization which impels me, like tbru fire an’ water;

the railroad-engine with its train of cars, to run

backward for a short distance in order to obtain Wen I hev once made up my mind, a a fairer start. I may compare myself to one meet'nhus aint sotter;

fishing from the rocks when the sea runs high, No, not though all the crows thet flies to who, misinterpreting the suction of the under pick my bones wuz cawin',

tow for the biting of some larger fish, jerks I

suddenly, and finds that he has caught bottom, guess we ’re in a Christian land,

hauling in upon the end of his line a trail of Yourn,

various alge, among which, nevertheless, the BIRDOFREDUM SAWIN. naturalist may haply find somewhat to repay

the disappointment of the angler. Yet have I [Here, patient reader, we take leave of each conscientiously endeavored to adapt myself to other, I trust with some mutual satisfaction. I the impatient temper of the age, daily degenersay patient, for I love not that kind which ating more and more from the high standard of skims dippingly over the surface of the page, as our pristine New England. To the catalogue swallows over a pool before rain. By such no of lost arts I would mournfully add also that of pearls shall be gathered. But if no pearls there listening to two-hour sermons. Surely we have be (as, indeed, the world is not without example been abridged into a race of pygmies. For, of books wherefrom the longest-winded diver truly, in those of the old discourses yet subsistshall bring up no more than his proper handful ing to us in print, the endless spinal column of of mud), yet let us hope than an oyster or two divisions and subdivisions can be likened to may reward adequate perseverance. If neither nothing so exactly as to the vertebræ of the pearls nor oysters, yet is patience itself a gem saurians, whence the theorist may conjecture a worth diving deeply for.

race of Anakim proportionate to the withstandIt may seem to some that too much space has ing of these other monsters. I say Anakim been usurped by my own private lucubrations, rather than Nephelim, because there seem and some may be fain to bring against me that reasons for supposing that the race of those old jest of him who preached all his hearers out whose heads (though no giants) are constantly of the meeting-house save only the sexton, who, enveloped in clouds (which that name imports) remaining for yet a little space, from a sense will never become extinct. The attempt to of official duty, at last gave out also, and, pre- vanquish the innumerable heads of one of those senting the keys, humbly requested our preacher afore-mentioned discourses may supply us with to lock the doors, when he should have wholly a plausible interpretation of the second labor of relieved himself of his testimony. I confess to Hercules, and his successful experiment with a satisfaction in the self act of preaching, nor fire affords us a useful precedent. do I esteem a discourse to be wholly thrown But while I lament the degeneracy of the age away even upon a sleeping or unintelligent in this regard, I cannot refuse to succumb to its auditory. I cannot easily believe that the Gos- influence. Looking out through my studypel of Saint John, which Jacques Cartier or- window, I see Mr. Biglow at a distance busy in dered to be read in the Latin tongue to the gathering his Baldwins, of which, to judge by Canadian savages, upon his first meeting with the number of barrels lying about under the them, fell altogether upon stony ground. For trees, his crop is more abundant than my own, the earnestness of the preacher is a sermon ap- - by which sight I am admonished to turn to preciable by dullest intellects and most alien those orchards of the mind wherein my labors ears. In this wise did Episcopius convert many may be more prospered, and apply myself dilito his opinions, who yet understood not the gently to the preparation of my next Sabbath's language in which he discoursed. The chief discourse. – H. W.)

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