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bacum by an European on this continent. with the aid of my own glasses (he having The probable results of this discovery are by accident left his at home) and in my so vast as to baffle conjecture. If it be own study. The heathen ancients might objected, that the smoking of a pipe would have instructed this Christian minister in hardly justify the setting up of a memorial the rites of hospitality; but much is to be stone, I answer, that even now the Moquis pardoned to the spirit of self-love. He must Indian, ere he takes his first whiff, bows indeed be ingenious who can make out the reverently toward the four quarters of the words hèr hvílir from any characters in the insky in succession, and that the loftiest scription in question, which, whatever else monuments have been reared to perpetuate it may be, is certainly not mortuary. And fame, which is the dream of the shadow of even should the reverend gentleman succeed smoke. The Saga, it will be remembered, in persuading some fantastical wits of the leaves this Bjarna to a fate something like soundness of his views, I do not see what usethat of Sir Humphrey Gilbert, on board a ful end he will have gained. For if the Engsinking ship in the wormy sea,” having lish Courts of Law hold the testimony of generously given up his place in the boat to gravestones from the burial-grounds of Proa certain Icelander. It is doubly pleasant, testant dissenters to be questionable, even therefore, to meet with this proof that the where it is essential in proving a descent, brave old man arrived safely in Vinland, I cannot conceive that the epitaphial asserand that his declining years were cheered tions of heathens should be esteemed of by the respectful attentions of the dusky more authority by any man of orthodox denizens of our then uninvaded forest. sentiments. Most of all was I gratified, however, in At this moment, happening to cast my thus linking forever the name of my native eyes upon the stone, whose characters a town with one of the most momentous transverse light from my southern window occurrences of modern times. Hitherto brings out with singular distinctness, anJaalam, though in soil, climate, and geo- other interpretation has occurred to me, graphical position as highly qualified to be promising even more interesting results. I the theatre of remarkable historical inci- hasten to close my letter in order to follow dents as any spot on the earth's surface, at once the clue thus providentially sughas been, if I may say it without seem- gested. ing to question the wisdom of Providence, I inclose, as usual, a contribution from almost maliciously neglected, as it might Mr. Biglow, and remain, appear, by occurrences of world-wide inter- Gentlemen, with esteem and respect, est in want of a situation. And in matters

Your Obedient Humble Servant, of this nature it must be confessed that

HOMER WILBUR, A. M. adequate events are as necessary as the vates sacer to record them. Jaalam stood | I THANK ye, my frien's, for the warmth o' always modestly ready, but circumstances

your greetin': made no fitting response to her generous Ther's few airthly blessin's but wut 's vain intentions. Now, however, she assumes her

an' fleetin'; place on the historick roll. I have hitherto But ef ther' is one thet hain't no cracks an' been a zealous opponent of the Circean herb, flaws, but I shall now reëxamine the question An' is wuth goin' in for, it 's pop'lar apwithout bias.

plause; I am aware that the Rev. Jonas Tntchel, It sends up the sperits ez lively ez rockets, in a recent communication to the “Bogus An' I feel it - wal, down to the eend o' my Four Corners Weekly Meridian,” has en

pockets. deavored to show that this is the sepulchral Jes' lovin' the people is Canaan in view, inscription of Thorwald Eriksson, who, as But it's Canaan paid quarterly thev 'em is well known, was slain in Vinland by the natives. But I think he has been misled by It's a blessin' thet 's breakin' out ollus in a preconceived theory, and cannot but feel

fresh spots; that he has thus made an ungracious return It 's a-follerin' Moses 'thout losin' the fleshfor my allowing him to inspect the stone pots.

love you;

raw cus


North wrong,

the power;

But, Gennlemen, 'scuse me, I ain't sech a By the fault o'the North in misplacin' the

switch. Ez to go luggin' ellerkence into a caucus, Things wuz ripenin' fust-rate with Buchanan Thet is, into one where the call compre- to nuss 'em; hen's

But the People — they would n't be MexiNut the People in person, but on'y their

cans, cuss 'em! frien's;

Ain't the safeguards o’ freedom upsot, 'z I'm so kin' o' used to convincin' the masses

you may say, Of th' edvantage o' bein' self-governin' Ef the right o' rey'lution is took clean

asses, I forgut thet we're all o' the sort thet pull An' doos n't the right primy-fashy include wires

The bein' entitled to nut be subdued ? An' arrange for the public their wants an' The fect is, we'd gone for the Union so desires,

strong, An' thet wut we hed met for wuz jes' to When Union meant South ollus right an'

agree Wut the People's opinions in futur' should Thet the People gut fooled into thinkin' it be.


Worry on middlin' wal with the North in Now, to come to the nub, we've ben all

the right. disappinted,

We might ha' ben now jest ez prosp'rous ez An'our leadin' idees are a kind o' disjinted, France, Though, fur ez the nateral man could Where p'litikle enterprise hez a fair chance, discern,

An' the People is heppy an' proud et this Things ough' to ha' took most an oppersite

hour, turn.

Long ez they hev the votes, to let Nap hev But The’ry is jes' like a train on the rail, Thet, weather or no, puts her thru without But our folks they went an' believed wut fail,

we'd told 'em While Fac''s the ole stage thet gits An', the flag once insulted, no mortle could sloughed in the ruts,

hold 'em. An' hez to allow for your darned efs an' 'T wuz pervokin' jest when we wuz cert'in buts,

to win, — An' so, nut intendin' no pers'nal reflections, An' I, for one, wun't trust the masses agin: They don't — don't nut allus, thet is, - For a People thet knows much ain't fit to make connections:

be free Sometimes, when it really doos seem thet In the self-cockin', back-action style o' they'd oughter

J. D. Combine jest ez kindly ez new rum an' water,

I can't believe now but wut half on 't is Both 'll be jest ez sot in their ways ez a

lies; bagnet,

For who 'd thought the North wuz agoin' Ez ctherwise-minded ez th' eends of a mag

to rise, net,

Or take the pervokin'est kin' of a stump, An' folks like you 'n' me, thet ain't ept to 'thout 't wuz sunthin' ez pressin' ez Gabe sold,

br'el's las' trump? Git somehow or 'nother left out in the cold. Or who'd ha’ supposed, arter sech swell

an' bluster I expected 'fore this, 'thout no gret of a row, 'bout the lick-ary-ten-on-ye fighters they'd Jeff D. would ha' ben where A. Lincoln is

muster, now,

Raised by hand on briled lightnin', ez With Taney to say 't wuz all legle an' fair, op'lent 'z you please An' a jury o’ Deemocrats ready to swear In a primitive furrest o' femmily-trees, Thet the ingin o' State gut throwed into Who'd ha' thought thet them Southanthe ditch

ers ever 'ud show

Starns with pedigrees to 'em like theirn to An' felt kind o’’z though they wuz havin' the foe,

their wills, Or, when the vamosin' come, ever to find Which kep''em ez harmless an' cherfle ez Nat'ral masters in front an' mean white crickets, folks behind ?

While all we invested wuz names on the By ginger, ef I'd ha' known half I know

tickets : now,

Wal, ther' 's nothin', for folks fond o' When I wuz to Congress, I would n't, I

lib'ral consumption Swow,

Free o'charge, like democ'acy tempered Hev let 'em cair on so high-minded an' with gumption !

sarsy, 'thout some show o' wut you may call vicy- Now warn't thet a system wuth pains in varsy.

presarvin', To be sure, we wuz under a contrac' jes' then Where the people found jints an' their To be dreffle forbearin' towards Southun frien's done the carvin', men ;

Where the many done all o’ their thinkin' We hed to go sheers in preservin' the bel

by proxy, lance :

An' were proud on 't ez long ez 't wuz An' ez they seemed to feel they wuz wastin' christened Democ'cy, their tellents

Where the few let us sap all o' Freedom's 'thout some un to kick, 't warn't more 'n foundations, proper, you know,


you call it reformin' with prudence an' Each should funnish his part; an' sence patience, they found the toe,

An' were willin' Jeff's snake-egg should An' we wuz n't cherubs — wal, we found

hetch with the rest, the buffer,

Ef you writ “ Constitootional ”

over the For fear thet the Compromise System

nest? should suffer.

But it 's all out o'kilter, ('t wuz too good to

last,) I wun't say the plan hed n't onpleasant An' all jes' by J. D.'s perceedin' too fast ; featurs,

Ef he'd on'y hung on for a month or two For men are perverse an' onreasonin' crea

more, turs,

We'd ha' gut things fixed nicer 'n they hed An' forgit thet in this life 't ain't likely to ben

before : heppen

Afore he drawed off an' lef' all in confuTheir own privit fancy should ollus be sion, cappen,

We wuz safely entrenched in the ole ConBut it worked jest ez smooth ez the key of stitootion, a safe,

With an outlyin', heavy-gun, casemated An' the gret Union bearin's played free

fort from all chafe.

To rake all assailants, — I mean th' S. J. They warn't hard to suit, ef they hed their

Court. own way,

Now I never 'll acknowledge (nut ef you An' we (thet" is, some on us) made the should skin me) thing pay :

't wuz wise to abandon sech works to the 't wuz a fair give-an’-take out of Uncle

in'my, Sam's heap ;

An' let him fin' out thet wut scared him so Ef they took wut warn't theirn, wut we long, give come ez cheap ;

Our whole line of argyments, lookin' so The elect gut the offices down to tide- strong, waiter,

All our Scriptur an' law, every the’ry an' The people took skinnin' ez mild ez a fac', tater,

Wuz Quaker -guns daubed with Pro-slaSeemed choos who they wanted tu, footed the bills,

Why, ef the Republicans ever should git

very black.

the year,

Andy Johnson or some one to lend 'em the With the business-consarns o' the rest of

wit An' the spunk jes' to mount Constitootion No more ’n they want Sunday to pry an' an' Court

to peek With Columbiad guns, your real ekle-rights Into wut they are doin' the rest o' the sort,

week. Or drill out the spike from the ole Declaration

A ginooine statesman should be on his Thet can kerry a solid shot clearn roun' guard, creation,

Ef he must hev beliefs, nut to b’lieve 'em We'd better take maysures for shettin' up tu hard ; shop,

For, ez sure ez he does, he 'll be blartin' An' put off our stock by a vendoo or swop.

'em out

'thout regardin' the natur' o' man more 'n But they wun't never dare tu ; you 'll see

a spout, 'em in Edom

Nor it don't ask much gumption to pick 'fore they ventur' to go where their doc

out a flaw trines 'ud lead 'em :

In a party whose leaders are loose in the They've ben takin' our princerples up ez jaw : we dropt 'em,

An' so in our own case I ventur' to hint An' thought it wuz terrible 'cute to adopt Thet we'd better nut air our perceedin's in 'em ;

print, But they 'lí fin' out 'fore long thet their Nor pass resserlootions ez long ez your arm hope 's ben deceivin' 'em,

Thet may, ez things heppen to turn, du us An' thet princerples ain't o' no good, ef

harm ; you b'lieve in 'em ;

For when you've done all your real meanIt makes 'em tu stiff for a party to use,

in' to smother, Where they'd ongh' to be easy ’z an ole The darned things 'll up an' mean sunthin' pair o'shoes.

or 'nother. If we say 'n our pletform thet all men are Jeff'son prob’ly meant wal with his “born brothers,

free an' ekle," We don't mean thet some folks ain't more But it's turned out a real crooked stick in so 'n some others ;

the sekle ; An' it's wal understood thet we make a It's taken full eighty-odd year — don't you

selection, An' thet brotherhood kin' o' subsides arter From the pop'lar belief to root out thet 'lection.

idee, The fust thing for sound politicians to An', arter all, suckers on 't keep buddin' larn is,

forth Thet Truth, to dror kindly in all sorts o' In the nat'lly onprincipled mind othe harness,

North. Mus' be kep' in the abstract, - for, come No, never say nothin' without you 're comto apply it,

pelled tu, You 're ept to hurt some folks's interists An' then don't say nothin' thet you can be by it.

held tu, Wal, these 'ere Republicans (some on 'em) Nor don't leave no friction-idees layin' ects

loose Ez though gineral mexims 'ud suit speshle For the ign'ant to put to incend'ary use. An' there's where we 'll nick 'em, there's You know I'm a feller thet keeps a skinned where they 'll be lost :

eye For applyin' your princerple 's wut makes On the leetle events thet go skurryin' by, it cost,

Coz it's of'ner by them than by gret ones An' folks don't want Fourth o’ July ť in- you 'll see terfere

Wut the p’litickle weather is likely to be.



the gag,

side ;

Now I don't think the South 's more 'n There's Phillips, for instance, hez jes’ begun to be licked,

ketched a Tartar But I du think, ez Jeff says, the wind-bag 's In the Law-’n’-Order Party of ole Cincingut pricked;

nater; It 'll blow for a spell an' keep puffin' an' An' the Compromise System ain't gone

out wheezin',

o reach, The tighter our army an' navy keep Long 'z you keep the right limits on freesqueezin',

dom o' speech For they can't help spread-eaglein' long '

z'T warn't none too late, neither, to put on ther''s a mouth To blow Enfield's Speaker thru lef' at the For he's dangerous now he goes in for the South,

flag. But it's high time for us to be settin' our Nut thet I altogether approve o' bad eggs, faces

They ’re mos' gin'lly argymunt on its las' Towards reconstructin' the national basis,

legs, With an eye to beginnin' agin on the jolly An' their logic is ept to be tu indiscrimiticks

nate, We used to chalk up 'hind the back-door o' Nor don't ollus wait the right objecs to politics;

'liminate ; An' the fus' thing 's to save wut of Slav'ry But there is a variety on 'em, you 'll find, ther''s lef

Jest ez usefle an' more, besides bein' reArter this (I mus' call it) imprudence o' fined, Jeff :

I mean o' the sort thet are laid by the dicFor a real good Abuse, with its roots fur tionary, an’ wide,

Sech ez sophisms an' cant, thet 'll kerry Is the kin' o' thing I like to hev on my

conviction ary

Way thet you want to the right class o’ A Scriptur' name makes it ez sweet ez a

men, rose,

An' are staler than all 't ever come from a An' it's tougher the older an' uglier it

hen : grows

“ Disunion” done wal till our resh Southun (I ain't speakin' now o' the righteousness


Took the savor all out on ’t for national But the p’litickle purchase it gives an' the profit).

But I

“ Abolition " 'll work a spell

yit, Things look pooty squally, it must be When the war's done, an' so will “ Forgiveallowed,

an’-forgit.” An' I don't see much signs of a bow in the Times mus' be pooty thoroughly out o' all cloud :

jint, Ther' 's too many Deemocrats — leaders Ef we can't make a good constitootional wut's wuss

pint; Thet go for the Union 'thout carin' a An' the good time 'll come to be grindin'

our exes, Ef it helps ary party thet ever wuz heard When the war goes to seed in the nettle o' on,

texes : So our eagle ain't made a split Austrian Ef Jon'than don't squirm, with sech helps bird on.

to assist him, But ther''s still some consarvative signs to I give up my faith in the free-suffrage sys

be found Thet shows the gret heart o' the People is Democ'cy wun't be nut a mite interestin', sound :

Nor p’litikle capital much wuth investin'; (Excuse me for usin' a stump-phrase agin, An' my notion is, to keep dark an' lay low But, once in the way on't, they will stick Till we see the right minute to put in our like sin :)


of it,



tem ;

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