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“ A Daughter of the House of Brunswick stood on a Mountain, and could see not only the English Isles of her inheritance, and her strongholds in the Southern Lake, which is not a French Lake, yet, if it please Your Majesty
The Royal Eye sparkled.
“But all her distant dominions. She saw a broad, happy, loyal American colony, which was preparing all honour and welcome for her Eldest Son. She saw the gigantic Asian Peninsula, recently subdued by her armies, and now her Own in name as well as in fact, and a veteran hero was leaving its shore to receive the laurel at home."
“ Yes, I did see LORD CLYDE," said the Royal Auditor.
“She saw her vast possessions in the Austral world, with their rapidly growing peoples, resolved, energetic, prosperous, and, while bent on making their new world what a freeman's home should be, retaining a deep love for the home whence they came."
“ The Prince of Wales must visit Australia next,” said his Royal Mother.
“ And, Madam, She saw the rest of her Fifty Colonies, and her flag waving over each, and the Englishman everywhere performing his mission of civilisation, order, and law. And then she saw, sailing statelily on every sea, her majestic Fleets. And She beheld, parading haughtily on the plains around her, and in many a far-away land, her gallant Soldiery. And closer yet, and at her very feet, She saw the Household Guard of England—the Guard that stood before her yesterday, and gave her the proud and stern assurance that the manhood of Britain is ready to close with any foe whom the Devil may stir up to do his work.”
“That-yes-that was the Dream," said the Lady of the Land.
“But there was one Thought more,” said Mr. Punch, in a lower voice, and with an inexpressibly arch, yet profoundly respectful smile stealing over his intellectual features.
“ Was there ?”, asked his Šovereign, with a frank look of inquiry. “Well, now you mention it-yes."
“Dare I complete my story?” said Mn. PUNCH. " It was not precisely that something was wanting to the perfect satisfaction and happiness of my QUEEN-let me rather say that she had a hovering impression that it was possible for some additional gem and glory to be added to the period—that some Koh-i-Noor, or other Mountain of Light might be laid at her feet."
“ I will not deny it,” said HER MAJESTY, smiling; " but I cannot recollect what form the new pleasure was to take.”
Deigo, Gracious Mistress, to look upon this Mirror," said the Magician. And, stepping to its side, and waving gracefully his bâton, after the manner of CORNELIUS AGRIPPA before his famous Glass of the Future,
“ Mormord potentissime parole.
Voci ancor più potenti But the words had power enough. MEDEA could not bave chanted more awfully to the palpitating stars. The curtains glided aside, and the Mystery was revealed, the Dream solved, the new Gem and Glory of the Period disclosed.
In another moment, bending at his Gracious Sovereign's knee, MR. PUNCH presented his
CLASSICALITY FOR THE MONTH.
JANUARY is so called from Janus, son of Apollo. He had two faces, like those who keep up festivities during this month, end who look remarkably different the night of the fun, and the morning after. He appears with a key in his right band and a rod in his left, hence, about the 25th, Mammas lock up the jam-cupboard and despatch the ravagers thereof to the Rev. Dr. SWISHTAIL's. Sometimes he has a beard, sometimes he has not, and the same thing may be observed concerning the jovial Janites, whose hands are not always steady enough to use the razor. If a certain king of England had not tried so hard to imitate the two-faced Janus, he might not have been towards the end of the month, without any face at all. PROFESSIONAL NURSERY RHYMES.
Bummy bummy bail,
Take him off to gaol.
CLASSICALITY FOR THE MONTH.
FEBRUARY is so called because the Romans were then purified (Februabatur) by a sacrifice, in remembrance of which the collector of sewer rates comes round and demands of us a sacrifice which, from all appearances, seems about as efficacious as that of the Romans. Some say Februa was a goddess who presided over purifications, but the best writers disbelieve in a washerwoman having ever been sent aloft, though there are numerous instances of her fraternity having been devoted in a contrary direction by Paterfamilias, when he is stifled with the muggy steam from the washhouse, or apprised that his choice lies between cold mutton and the club. Februa is also a name of Juno, but the fact is, that the gods and goddesses were so disreputable that they were always obliged to borrow one another's names, and there ought to have been a temple to the god Alias.
A PROBLEM VERY EASY OF SOLUTION. By an Indignant Young Lady, who is tired to death at the stupid rubbish that is indulged in at the expense of ladies' dresses.
GIVEN :--A Lady's Crinoline, and a Gentleman's Inverness Cape.
TO FIND OUT :-of which of the two the circumference is the greater.
THE STABLE MIND.-An ossy man, being in the Isle of Wight, and finding himself in the neighbourhood of the Laureate's dwelling, goes to call upon the illustrious poet, for the purpose of seeing those bays of his which he has heard so much of.
MEMORANDUM BY A MENTOR.-How annoying it is to find people prosper, instead of being ruined as we predicted they would, in consequence of having pursued their
own course instead of following our advice !
DOMESTIC PETS.–Never purchase a parrot without taking it a month upon trial. There is no knowing where the bird may have been brought up.
OUR NATIONAL DEFENCES. Diana. “WELL, ALFRED, I SUPPOSE YOU 'VE MADE UP YOUR MIND TO JOIN A RIFLE CORPS-Eu?' Alfred. "WHY, NO. You SEE, I'M MORE IN THE RIDING WAY. Now, IF THEY WILL GET UP SOME VOLUNTEER CAVALRY;- WHY, I'LL FIND A MAN AND A HORSE !"
MY PRECIOUS,-Say, Wednesday.-J. S.
MY TREASURE,–Very well. The sooner these things are settled the better. I'll see to everything. Mind then, Wednesday, St. George's, Hanover Square, 11, sharp. Punctuality is the soul of marriage. Ar revoir at the altar!-L. S.
LACONIC LOVE-LETTERS. DEAREST,- If that word is a mistake, throw this note in the fire. Excuse folly, result of last night's dance. Cab waiting 11.30; train starts at 12; back to-night. No answer sufficient reply to your rejected, -- JOHN SHORT.
Miss SWEET is at a loss to express the embarrassment which she experienced on reading MR. SHORT's note.
MY DEAREST LOUISA, -Received yours, and note the contents. In haste, yours, J.S.
DEAR MR. SHORT,—Things must, of course, depend upon circumstances.-L. S.
MY DEAREST LOVE,-£500 a-year in the funds. £200 landed property. £600 mortgage at 4 per cent. Net profits of business, £800 per ann. At your feet.-J.S.
MY DEAR MR. SHORT,- Connections ? Religious principles ?-L. S.
BELOVED OBJECT,- Aristocratic. Orthodox. I adore Louisa.-J. S.
MY DEAR JOHN-I own you have awakened an interest in my-what shall I say?-L. S.
MY ONLY LOVE,-Bosom.-J. S.
MY DEAREST JOHN,–What a goose you are!-L. S.
MY BEAUTIFUL BIRD,But then you are a duck. So now we understand one another. Accept the enclosed photagraph.-J. S.
INCONSTANT ONE !-I return it. You were seen last night in a private box at Covent Garden with Miss JONES, I am deceived-farewell. Think no more of-L.S.
FAITHLESS,- I have paid no attentions to Miss Jones like those I understand you received from CAPTAIN BROWN. Distraction! Madness !-J.8.
JEALOUS !I scorn CAPTAIN BROWN, Torture! Cruel ! Unkind !-L. S.
SILLY GIRL!-Miss Jones is a griffin. Bosh !-J.S.
DEAREST, DEAREST Joux,-Can you forgive me?-L. S.
My Own One, -my Fond One. I believe you.-J. S.
MY HEART'S IDOL, -Say no more.-L. S.
MISTRESS OF MY SOUL, -Three words only. Name the day.-J.s.
MY LOVE, MY LIFE,—Whenever you like. -L. S.
CLASSICALITY FOR THE MONTH.
June is so called from Juno. She was the daughter of Ops, whence so many dances are now given. Some say she was taken care of by the Seasons, and this is certainly the pet month of the season still. She bated Hercules, whence ladies detest the Club that prevents their husbands taking them to Richmond or Greenwich this lovely weather, though the wretches can go fast enough by themselves, the pigs. The peacock was sacred to Juno, and if ever people look smart it is now Juno having the privilege of using Jupiter's thunderbolts, the occasional storms of the month are accounted for ; but upon one occasion she did a bolt on her own account, which brought business before the Olympian CRESSWELL. She was quite in the right, and had to submit—as will always happen while gods and men make laws.
PROFESSIONAL NURSERY RHYME.
PARSON. PREACHEE, preachee, preachee, Not too long, beseech 'ee,
Wear a white tie,
And make 'em all cry, Preachee, preachee, prcachee.
INCONSISTENCY OF MANKIND. - Men," said a merry old lady, “when I was young, called me an enchantress, and now I have lost my charms, they say I am as ugly as a witch. Ab, drat 'em!"
Tax SPHERE OF THE STABLE.-Roguery is a common complaint against men who are much associated with horses. Ossy men seem dead as to their moral feelings. No doubt their hearts are ossified.
A SHAMELESS BRUTE.—An epicure declared that a pig's cheek was great. His friend, assenting, remarked that the pig never blushes.
PARALLEL BY AN ILLITERATE PERSON.Orthography is my spelling; heterography is another man's spelling.
IRRESISTIBLE. Lady. “What! Two SHILLINGS! AND EIGHTEENPENCE FOR WAITING THREE-QUARTERS OF AN HOUR ?-NONSENSE, MAN! IT WAS ONLY TEN MINUTES BY MY WATCH!”
Cabman (insinuatingly). “WASN'T IT, Miss? WELL, THEN, I s'POSE IT WAS A MISSIN' O' YOUR PRETTY FACE AS MADE IT Scem THREE KERVARTERS OF AN HOUR !”
[Fare pays, and thinks the Cabman an extremely nice person.
THE AQUARIUM. Tom (WHO HAS HAD A VERY SUCCESSFUL DAY) PRESENTS HIS SISTERS WITH A FINE SPECIMEN OF THE CUTTLE-FISH (Octopus vulgaris).