see him. At least, this is what the scrawler in the New York Herald says of us: feeling, could not fail to grate harshly upon one of so much natural and acquired "The turbulent irregularity of a mob, however well meant or dictated by good refinement. Therefore, the lower strata of the democratic element may prove somewhat uncongenial to him. But I am happy to say that the people of the United States generally, and the superior order particularly, have studied his comfort, vailing characteristic, that has not failed to impress him and his suite with a very pleasure, and wishes, with a delicacy dictated by that good sense which is their prefavourable idea of American consideration and courtesy." "Screamin' fine that scribblin', ain't it? And to show heow true it is, and heow courteously we haeve studied the comfort of the Prince, and what delicate good sense haeve pervaded our behaviour tu him, the writer gives us these here specimens of the remarks he overheard let out by the spectators, when the Prince fust come in sight of em: "His nose is Roman! He seems fagged. He looks pleasant! I thought his hair was lighter. There's no harm in that face, sure. He's regular Dutch!" Now, pray what are these luminous men? "Wal, there ain't no smack o' the ancient age of rudeness' "beout We must confess that sich compliments as them! It must baeve added a good heap to the we are rather in the darkcomfort of the Prince to hear heow we tuk notice of him. Ours is A about them, and should free country, and we air mostly sorter free-and-easy in our talk. We consider it extremely ain't shy o' findin' fault neither, and I reckon as our writers can kind if some one would criticise a 'coon as well as compliment him. At the Cincinnati Ball, enlighten us. We have for example, we air told that at times the Prince, apparently, was very heard men sometimes much embarrassed,' (Wal, I calc'late them air crinnyleans du spoken of as being shining embarrass' a chap kinder!), and it was noticed that he made several lights, but we have never mistakes, not being au fait in American style; but he soon recovered before heard them des- himself, and enjoyed himself in his usual style." Y see, our style ain't cribed as being luminous. like yourn, old hoss; there ain't no sliding over that. And what may Moreover, from the man- be the usual' go for yer young Riyal Highnesses don't no ways not ner in which they have come up to our notions of what's proper. Guess you oughter send us been "ordered" of him, yer young Princes and Princesses, jist that we might polish up their one would think M.DEMANGEOT had the power to manufacture them; etiquette a trifle, and put a finishing stroke or two upon their ball-room and one must regard him as a sort of phosphorescent Frankenstein, edication. endowed with the ability not merely to make men, but to make them luminous. If it were not almost too great a liberty to take, we might suggest that were ARCHBISHOP CULLEN to apply to fill the place of one of these eight luminous individuals, the director of Covent Garden might be tempted to accept him. As one of the bright lights of the Roman Catholic Church, DR. CULLEN might put in a claim to being viewed as luminous; and seeing how he has lately blazed away for his Brigade, and what a farce he has been playing to celebrate their obsequies, we think the Doctor is just fit for a theatrical engagement, and would exactly fill a part where he is wanted to be luminous. THE PRINCE AND THE PRESS. "Broadway, Midday liquorin' time. "TU THAT AR CRITTER PUNCH, "I GUESS I wrote to you, old hoss, a week or tu ago, about the way our scribblers du their scrawlin' for the peaypers, and I sent you a few extracts to show heow tall they talked 'beeout our reception of JACK HEENAN, when he come from having licked yar champion, TOM SAYERS. Wal, that was no small some in the way of A reception, but it 'taint no sorter up to what we've bin and guv yar PRINCE OF WALES, or BARON RENFREW as he calls himself-though I sartinly can't see why he need go by that ar alias in A free country like ourn, where all titles air alike, same as all men (except niggers) is. Political equality 's our motter in the States, and if a feller haeve a mind tu call hisself a Doctor, or a Counsellor, ora Cardnal, or any other sort o' 'ristocratic appellation, why he jist goes and does it, and nobody don't take no notice of him any more than if he kep content to be plain Mister. "I dar say you've been surprised toe hear heow we've been cuttin' arter ALBERT EDWARD, knowin' as we don't in gineral set no wally upon Riyalty. But this is heow a jarnal deown St. Louis way accounts for this here fact : : "Man is by nature regal and princely. Democracy is the cordial recognition of this fact, and seeks not to uncrown men except by crowning all men. Heaven meant mankind for a race of kings and queens, princes and princesses; and to realise that end is the aim of democracy. In ages of rudeness homage to the royal character of some men was a step towards the general culture of such character. In our time and in this country we claim to have emerged from that period of pupilage, to have done adulating and to have become kings. particle of undemocratic deference, our people may laudably gratify the wish to see the heir prospective of the British throne." Without a Wal, there sartinly wornt much of 'undemocratic deference' in the way them ar St. Louis bhoys behaved tu yur young Prince,, I guess you've heerd heow at his landing they come a hustlin' and a Lusslin' and a bustlin' reound his carriage, till they raly a'most bust it off its wheels, and nearly knocked the DUKE o' NEWCASTLE, or some other swell flunkey slap inter the dock. But this here rowdedow it seems just sarved to let the steam off; and since then we've been more delicate in expressing tu the Prince heow 'nition glad we air to "Wal, the mornin' arter this, the Prince he went tu Chutch, and you see such air our delicate attentions to his comfort that even there he worn't allowed to pass uncriticised. The papers sent thar specialest reporters to obsarve him, and his movements' through the sarvice were all minutely chronicled. By this here means we're farnished with most interestin' statistics of the number o' times he coughed, and whether he ever shut his eyes, and had to blow his nose to keep himself awake, or not, which in course it is important fur historians to know. Of his appearance, too, we learn that he was 'dressed as usual,' and to this the Herald adds, by way of courteous compliment, Some people think he is looking seedy; but he is probably saving his best clothes for his New York visit. In course the delicate inference from this here writer's statement is, that the Prince's 'usual dress' is gitting seedy in the seams, and as he haeve on'y got one Sunday-going suit, he's forced to save it up for special state occasions, sich as that ar forty thousand dollar ball as all our gals is screamin' mad abeout. Wal, arter all, there's no gurt harm in what we've done. 'Tain't every day, old hoss, we catches A live Prince. A King in chrysalis is rayther a rarish insect here, and so you see our bhoys air all-fired curious to see him. And duing as they du is jist to testify their 'fection. That's A fact, Sir-ree, and guess I'll lick the skunk who doubts it. Mayn't be over pleasant, but it's tu show heow fond we air of him. "Yours, Mister Punch, and the Prince's tu (I'm right hoarse neow from cheerin' him), "JONATHAN MARCELLUS JOSH GOLIAH GONG." "IN VINO VERITAS"-AND WHAT ELSE? ought to thank us for bringing to his notice:HERE's a new advantage to the buyer of cheap wines, which he REDUCED PRICES. Improved Quality-Six gallons of SOUTH AFRICAN PORT or SHERRY for 50s., cask (which can be converted into two pails) included.-Apply, &c. Good wine, it has of old been said, requires no bush to be hung out to show where one may get it. Whether, then, the fact of advertising wine would lead one to infer that it is anything but good, logicians, if they please, may argue and decide. "In vino veritas" is another ancient motto; but one would fear there must be something else than veritas in wine, which requires such an announcement as the foregoing to sell it. We must own it seems to us a rather new idea, to think of buying a lot of wine in order that we may "convert" a pair of pails out of the cask. We suppose that we shall next be asked to buy a pheasant for its feathers, or a hare that we may make some use or other of its skin. A TRIFLE FROM TCHERNAVODA.-To_open a Turkish Railroad it seems that sheep must be sacrificed. In England we only sacrifice shareholders. But in each case the victims are fleeced. A SEA-SIDE STUDY. BY A SENTIMENTAL STUDENT. As I walked out at Margate, It was but th' other day, A Jew there sat in a "Porkpie" hat, At a window that was bay. I stood and gazed upon him, To assure me of his race; BRIGHTON JEWELS. I knew not his name, but his birth was plain As the nose upon his face! Yet he sported a Porkpie hat! And I couldn't help thinking that 'Twas a singular thing For a poet to sing Of a Jew in a Porkpie hat! "Twas extremely rude to stare so, Of course I well knew that; But it seemed to me so queer to see A Jew in a Porkpie hat. At the hat and the nose beneath it I gaped and gazed amain, And I haven't a doubt, if the truth were out, I should do the same again. If still at the window sat The Jew in the Porkpie hat! For who could help staring loud. So says the parson, says he, quite sharp like to my wife, 'I do wonder, MARY, that you should be here at all, and still more that you should allow your boys to make diversion of a poor dumb animal's sufferings. (Dumb he warn't, no how, by the bye, but that 's nought.) Why can't you let GILES kill the pig by himself, and why don't you give those two brats a couple of boxes on the ear for taking a pleasure in seeing such sights?' "Those were our parson's very words, Sir, and I do believe he were right; so I told my wife to go indoors and mind her own business, and then I took the stick to JEM and BILLY, and sent 'em scampering like afore I finished the pig, which died beautiful. "Yesterday HER MAJESTY THE QUEEN, with their Royal Highnesses the PRINCE, CONSORT, the DUKE and DUCHESS OF SAXE-COBURG GOTHA, the PRINCE and PRINCES FREDERICK WILLIAM, of Prussia, and PRINCESS ALICE, accompanied also by LORD JOHN RUSSELL, and attended by the Ladies and Gentlemen of the Household, drove to the Wald Parc at Mönckröden, where, the gentlemen being posted, the forest was driven for wild boar. The sport was very successful, seven boars being killed Luncheon was afterwards served to the Royal party in one of the forester's houses. "Only fancy, Sir, our Gracious QUEEN, and the little PRINCESS ALICE, and all the rest of the Royal folk, amusing of themselves killing pigs, and being very successful; and getting an appetite for their dinners that way. 'Why, father,' says our JEM, 'you was going to wop me and BILL last week, and you reglar blowed up Mother, to please the parson, just because we grinned at seeing our pig strapped on the bench, and squeaking like mad. Was there any more harm in that than in what Mother has just been reading out to us?' I really didn't know what to say to the lad, Sir, so in course I give him a lick, and sent him flying. But I wish you would tell me what I ought to have said to him, for when I asked our parson, he told me not to talk about what I could not understand, and didn't seem pleased. Yours to command, "Hampshire." "GILES JOULTER." [ADVERTISEMENT.] SPIRIT-RAPPING TESTIMONIALS. THE Editor of the Spiritual Magazine, and Proprietor of the famous Spirit-Rapping Ointment, begs respectfully to lay before his friends and the public a few of the Testimonials with which he has been favoured by parties who have availed themselves of his Discovery. They are but a handful out of thousands, but they fully exemplify the eminently advantageous working of his system. He may, however, hereafter submit further evidences of the efficacy of the Discovery in altering the present unnatural state of society. I. "Sir,-It would be injustice to you, and false delicacy in me, if I withheld my testimonial to the efficiency of your Spirit-Rapping Ointment, which has wrought, Mussy be praised, the most extraordinary cure in my own case. Sir, I had been for many years troubled with a most obstinate complaint in my mind, and I found myself utterly unable to believe anything. In vain did I apply the strongest remedies, in vain did I seek to swallow the blood of St. Januarius, the Winking Picture, MR. BRIGHT's allegations against the upper classes, and other things which I was told, by friends, if I could once get down, I should be cured of my incredulity. At last, Sir, in a happy hour, somebody mentioned your Ointment. I bought but one sixpenny packet, and applied it. Sir, I took it in faith, and instantly found that I could believe anything. Now, Sir, I am a changed man, and prepared to give credit to whatever may be stated to me. As a proof, Sir, I was told yesterday, by an Irish friend, that the POPE'S volunteers from Ireland had slaughtered thirty times their own number before they were taken by the enemy, and I never thought of contradicting him. Sir, although I know that such permission is needless to you in the case of private communications, I authorise you to make what use you like of this letter. "I am, Sir, "Ponder's End, Oct. 21." "Your ever grateful Servant, "JUDEUS APELLER." II. "Sir,-I hasten to make you acquainted with another extraordinary result of the free application of your Spirit-Rapping Ointment. I applied it, on Monday last, to a table in my possession, and sat down to watch its effects. In about three minutes I began to laugh, then to yawn, and my wife, entering the room an hour afterwards found me in a sound slumber. I had not previously slept for several hours. I have bought several packets, and am happy to add that the Ointment has been equally efficacious with my children. Formerly there was no getting them to go to bed, but I have now only to exhibit a packet of your Ointment, and in a moment they are all up, and wishing me and their Mamma good night. Publish this letter, if you think it will be believed, and I remain, "Wellclose Square, E.C., "Wednesday." III. "Yours very sincerely, "ADIPOSE GLUBB." "MRS. MEPHIBOSHETH BARNES presents her compliments to the Editor of the Spiritual Magazine, and begs to thank him for the great utility of his Ointment. Her eldest son, a very promising lad of twelve years old, and a pupil at the Buffington Proprietary School, was devoting himself to his studies with an energy which, she, as a fond mother feared would be prejudicial to his health. At length, alarmed at his saying that he was determined to go in and win the Greek prize, she procured some of the Spirit-Rapping Ointment, and administered it to MASTER BARNES. At first he revolted against it, but she having persevered in applying it under his eyes, he began to like it, and it has entirely cured him of any over-zeal in his studies, as he now thinks of nothing but the Ointment, and there is not the least chance of his gaining the Greek or any other prize. "Finsbury Circus, Monday.” IV. Sir,-Permit a happy father to thank you with all the earnestness of the paternal nature for having effected a singular cure in his household. I am the parent, Sir, of two charming daughters, aged respectively 19 and 17, and they, being possessed of lively spirits, were a great trouble to me, who am a quiet widower. They were always delighted at the idea of going to a ball, or an evening party of any kind, and would frequently ask me to take them to one of the operas or the theatre; or to invite young friends to see them at home. It was a source of much disturbance to my evenings. By a lucky, or shall I say, a providential circumstance, your ointment came my know. ledge. I resolved to administer it to my daughters, and they took to it with the enthusiasm of their age. No more dances, operas, parties, stage-plays for them now. They have become silent and thoughtful, and neither will ever stir from the room without the other, especially after dark. They are completely subdued, and I would hardly know "Sir,-I should be much obliged by your advice under these circumstances. My husband was a clerk in the Bank of England, and a very steady, economical, and affectionate man, who obeyed me in all things except one. That, Sir, was the surreptitiously procuring and constantly using your Spirit-Rapping Ointment. Several times have I flung it out of window, and into the fire, but the determined victim always possessed himself of more, and at last became so addicted to its use that he neglected his business at the Bank, and ended by defying the Governor and Company for rebuking him, in consequence of which he was turned out of his situation. He did not feel this much at first, declaring that he was glad to be a martyr for Spiritualism, but he gradually sank into a low way, and yesterday morning I was surprised at seeing his two legs sticking out of the water-butt. Happily, the day before had been washing day, so there was nothing in the butt but mud, slime, and efts, and he escaped exceedingly dirty and with a lump on his forehead the size of an orange, but the moral is the same, and Ì could wish that you would print with your Ointment directions as to how much weak people ought to be allowed to take at a time. I have him safe in bed now, and I think he is ashamed of himself, though the maid says that he is constantly knocking his gruel-spoon against the night-lamp, and asking whether there are any Spirits in the room. Yours, disconsolately, "MARGARET SNICKLE." "Judd Street, Oct. 22." VI. "Sir,-Precious indeed is your Ointment, and I only wish I had known of it sooner. I had long discovered an incompatibility of temper between myself and MRS. TODDLEKINS, but having no particular fault with which to charge that person, I scarcely knew how to intimate that I wished she would return to her friends. Happily, a friend recommended your Ointment, and I have applied it with such success, that MRS. T., terrified out of her senses, took the initiative, and bolted, and is giving out that I am a Dangerous Idiot. Female malice is extraordinary, but I am your debtor for my happy release. "Yours, very thankfully, "Islington." THE "BARNABAS TODDLEKINS." BROWN OF LIVERPOOL. In the town of Liverpool Doubtless there is many a fool; But, though fools may never cease Out thereof, they must decrease. Liverpool, with Library, And Museum, public, free, Built at WILLIAM BROWN's expense, Must acquire intelligence. WILLIAM BROWN has wealth, and wit Twine of laurel-sprigs a crown Why not The BROWN as well as The CHISHOLM, The O'CONNOR DON or The O'DONOGHUE? Catholic Cookery. ONE of our contemporaries accuses DR. CULLEN of "cooking the accounts" of the battle of Spoleto. The phrase is not inaptly chosen; but we fear if he continues his Cullenary courses, DR. CULLEN will in time be mistaken for DR. KITCHENER. No doubt each member of his Brigade-or shall we write it, brag-ade?-was a broth of a boy; but this would hardly justify the Doctor in such an act of cookery as he has been accused of. THE LAND OF IRE. THE rabid invective which the Ultramontane Press of Ireland is continually launching against England and Sardinia, confirms the conjecture that the word Erin is derived from Erinnys, which, some young ladies may require to be reminded. was the name of a Fury. |