MR. PUNCH AMONG THE ROSES. ITHOUT doubt the and hosts of hothouse plants, which though they all had gone to pot, looked not a whit the worse for it. In fact, as the poet might have said if he had seen them, "Flora gave her fairest flowers, None more rare in all her treasure: Punch was pleased beyond all measure." Several of these plants had remarkably fine names, and looked quite fine enough to justify manly brow the while them. Their rich colours were however somehe walked among the what thrown into the shade, being washed out flowers, himself being by the flood of rose-light which was shed on (if he may use two them. Indeed, Mr. Punch might have passed vastly novel phrases) them without notice, had not his attention been the cynosure of en- attracted by a Wretch, who tried to pun about vying eyes" and the two cacti being like an exotic fruit, because it "observed of all ob- was quite patent that they were a prickly pair. servers." As a symbol of meek modesty combined with conscious worth and excellence, the Punch Blush took the pas of Blest as he is with affluence and with every blissful comfort that can make home happy, Mr. Punch's disposition is not naturally covetous. But there certainly are times when a sensation takes possession of him, which makes him feel that there is something wanting to his happiness, all the other roses, and which something, if secured, would yield him and had it been ex-perfect bliss. This feeling Mr. Punch felt at the hibited before the Floral Hall, when he looked at the Great Bed of judges made their roses in the centre, which in its vastness bore award, there is very resemblance to the Great Bed of Ware. The little doubt they instant that his eye first rested on this bed, would have given the Mr. Punch felt a longing to rest his head and first prize to it. As shoulders on it; and only the reflection that he it was, they showed was close to Bow Street prevented him from their judgment, Mr. jumping slap into the bed, and calling out to Punch will frankly somebody to come and tuck him up! Mr. own, in allowing Punch, of course, had often seen a rose-bed MESSIEURS PAUL to before, but he had never seen a rose-bed which take away that so tempted one to sleep upon it, secure from honour; for, joking molestation even by its thorns. To lie on such quite apart, their a rose-bed, to sip a sherry-cobler, and be squirted roses were so big as at with rosewater, the while MARIO and GRISI to be almost appalling. Mr. Punch indeed half fancied that some fairy had transported him sweetly sang one off to sleep; such bliss a man to the land of Brobdingnagia, so gigantic were the specimens these gentlemen exhibited; and would pay a double Income-Tax to dream of, and his surmise was somewhat strengthened by the roses that were shown and gained a prize for Mr. Punch felt sadly tempted to envy MR. GYE, MR. HEDGE, which were the very largest Hedge-roses that Mr. Punch had ever had the who had it in his power, if he pleased so, to happiness of sniffing at. Besides the rows of roses, there were heaps of ferns and heaths, en-Gye it. THE VOLUNTEER OF JULY 14th. Ir you 're waking call me early-though I feel so very queer, For the next sham-fight at Chiselhurst I don't think they'll catch me. GRANT'S cooking-waggon on the ground they told us we should find, We marched and fought and conquered, but nothing could be seen have been. By the time the flag of truce proclaimed the finish of the fray, Yet not a grumbler in the corps, a laggard in the train, We came to "Bivouac No. 1," and nothing could we see, And there we stood, half-starved, a-thirst, beneath the waning light, And from the heights of Chiselhurst the night-wind set in cool, But the best of a bad bargain was all that could be made; That some kind tap might chance to lie on in the way that we should pass, To the Southborough-Road Station, but that hope was vain, alas! We had been calm and patient; but we grew desp'rate now; We waited for a train, for hours; and in such piteous case, Good night-good night; but leave the key of the cellar in the door, You'll find my muddy gaiters upon the passage floor; With my pouch-but mind the candle-there's ten rounds in it or THE NEW RIDE. FRIGHTFUL SCENE IN KENSINGTON GARDENS! SHALL OUR PRIVACY BE INVADED? SHALL OUR CHILDREN BE RIDDEN DOWN BY A BLOODTHIRSTY AND A BLOATED ARISTOCRACY? ARE OUR WIVES, DAUGHTERS, AND DOMESTICS, TO BE TORN TO PIECES BY FEROCIOUS MASTIFFS? NEVER! UP THEN! MARROWBONES Another Cut at the Hippodrome in Kensington Gardens. THE new equestrian ride, which cuts up the flower-path and green sward in Kensington Gardens, has advocates who maintain it to be a popular improvement, inasmuch as it is an extension of the Rotten Row exhibition of fine horses and beautiful women. The more Beauty in Kensington Gardens the better; but, in augmenting the beauty of them, disturb not their repose, which will be grievously disquieted by the trampling of horses. Admit as much Beauty as possible into Kensington Gardens, but let it be Beauty without the Beast. A GOOD WORD FOR A GOOD CAUSE. IT is everywhere acknowledged that every one reads Punch, and that everybody faithfully attends to what he reads there. Punch need therefore merely state that a Ladies' Fund is forming to "relieve the sick and wounded, and the widows and the orphans, of GARIBALDI'S followers;" and that subscriptions are received at 20, Cockspur Street, Pall Mall; at MESSRS. BARNETTS' bank in Lombard Street, and at a dozen other places which are almost daily advertised, and which there is no need therefore to THE PARTY WHO OBJECTS TO THE NEW RIDE IN KENSINGTON GARDENS-AND WON'T HE SPOUT AT THE WESTRY! numerate in Punch. Punch states this without prejudice to "IL MILIONE FUCILI," which are still being collected for by MR. ASHURST in Old Jewry, and will doubtless before long be banging in the hands of the besiegers of the Bourbon. There are some people, however, who feel a little squeamish about helping to shoot other people, even although the latter be the torturers and man-butchers who have been hired under the Bombas by the name of the Police. To the sensitive and scrupulous a guarantee is therefore given that "None of the money will be applied to warlike purposes, but solely to those of charity and benevolence, and it is therefore hoped that many will join in this labour of love." It would certainly be charity to rid the world of Bombas, and all the thousands of subscribers for "The Million Muskets" may rest assured then that their money will be charitably spent. But there are persons who would rather give to surgeons than to soldiers; and of these Punch therefore begs that every one who has a spare coin in his pocket, or a balance at his bankers that he can afford to part with, will have his name appended to the list of Good Samaritans, who are providing oil and wine for the widows and the orphans of GARIGARIBALDI'S sick and wounded, and for BALDI's dead. Charity, it has been said, begins at home, but there is no reason adducible that charity the ridicule of truth should be regarded with serene contempt and should end there; and where the cause is so good, as in the present instance, there will surely be no need to say more than one good word for it. GILES SCROGGINS'S JOURNAL. refuted by demonstration; that experiments which cannot be performed except under certain conditions which are among those of jugglery are inconclusive, and that it is the peculiarity of all quacks and enthusiasts, whether religious or scientific, to resent derision of their impostures or delusions. "Let those laugh who win," is the maxim of the sure philosopher. LORDS LYNDHURST and BROUGHAM are believers in spiritualism, are they? BROUGHAM and LYNDHURST also among the Y some persons the following state-spirit-rappers! So the Spiritual Magazine asserts; but Incredulity ment in the Spiritual Magazine for whispers "WALKER!" What are the odds that any alleged spiritual July may be thought to require manifestation is genuine? Who will bet on the head of MADAME confirmation:BESSON; who will back her to obtain one rap on a table? There is an oracle that may settle this question; a point on which we would advise our spiritual to consult our sporting contemporary. Bell's Life is at least as likely as any other human medium to give a correct answer to any inquiry touching the life beyond the grave. "A few evenings ago, during the month of June, some remarkable spirit manifestations took place at the mansion of the French Ambassador, Albert Gate, Amongst a large number of influential persons who witnessed them were the Duc and DUCHESSE DE MALAKOFF, COUNT PERSIGNY, and LORD WARD, who all expressed their great satisfaction and delight to MADAME LOUISE BESSON, who was the medium present." The same number of the same periodical also contains the subjoined announcement: "SPIRIT MEDIUM AND CLAIRVOYANTE. MADAME LOUISE BESSON, King Street, Soho Some ladies have doubles, if we may credit Spiritualism,-like the wise woman," GOLDSMID'S DESERTED VILLAGE. "MR. WHITE, a Radical, has been returned for Brighton, beating MR. MOORE, a Tory, and MR. GOLDSMID, a Jew."-Weekly Paper. upon To the above concise narrative Mr. Punch would have had nothing to add, but that from reports of the election, and from correspondence, it would appear that MR. MOORE may complain of being bracketed with MR. GOLDSMID, as beaten. MR. MOORE was beaten-Brighton polled 1565 Whites and 1239 Moores, and the Tory went down in fair fight. But MR. GOLDSMID retired in the middle of the contest, after polling only 477 votes. And he retired, because he had no chance of winning. And he had no chance of winning, because he, or his agents, had endeavoured to bring to bear upon MR. WHITE a Jew Screw which is rot generally approved by English mechanics. MR. WHITE stated upon the hustings that the Hebrew's agent had called the Radical's agent, and told him that something which happened in connection with the pecuniary affairs of MR. WHITE, twenty-three years ago, had come to MR. GOLDSMID's knowledge, and that, if MR. WHITE did not retire, those particulars should be made known to every "elector of Brighton. The threat was carried out, and the fact that MR. WHITE had been unsuccessful in business at Plymouth nearly a quarter of a century back, and had not cleared away all his debts, was promulgated by handbills throughout Brighton. The answer of Brighton was to vote for the Tory and the Radical, and the Jew had to retire with a splendid minority of 477 votes, which must be considerably under the number of Mosaic jewellers and cigar-shopkeepers at Brighton, who would naturally support their fellow-believer. If MADAME BESSON is really in a position to accept engagements as Mr. Punch fought the cause of the Jews for years and years, and He has also supported the a "Spirit Medium and Clairvoyante,"-just as she might hire herself finally brought them into Parliament. out as a corn-cutter, she must be able to command spiritual mani- honourable and amiable, if not very brilliant, representatives whom festations nearly whenever she pleases. Old SAM WESLEY told the Israel has sent to the House. But he begs to warn Jewry generally not rapping spirit of Epworth to come into his study if it had anything to to fall into the mistake of imitating such Christians as work the money say to him. Couldn't MADAME BESSON come to Punch's Office, and screw, either in the way of bribery or of intimidation, and sometimes get get a spirit to rap out a spirited communication for this periodical on Jew should Mr. Punch withdraw his countenance from that party-in convicted by Yorkshire juries. It would be a bad day for the British Perhaps not. Like LORD MAMSBERRY, Punch is not particular Palestine the better. Mr. Punch believes that the majority of his fact the sooner he took, in such an emergency, a non-return ticket for about spelling, because that is corrigible; but erroneous orthography Hebrew friends would disapprove as heartily as he and Brighton have and bad composition are apt to be conjoined. Of bad writing, in com- done of the mean attempt to damage MR. WHITE; but it is just as well bination with bad grammar, an instance may be quoted from this same to let Jewry know that what Mr. Punch would denounce in a Christian number of the Spiritual Magazine, in the following message represented as having been transmitted by a departed spirit through the hand of a medium, in a backward scrawl: her as a witch or an artist? the counter? "Ye are sorrowing as one withon2. e scientific co-lah The spirit substitutes Ye are for 17 wit we are to believe the supernatural origin of the foregoing sentence, we may suppose it to have emanated from an illiterate Methodist parson. The passage in question will remind most of our readers of a very similar piece of spiritual English, occurring in a familiar metrical legend: "When, standing all by the bed-post, And it cried, I beez GILES SCROGGINS'S ghost;' Exactly so. Ri tol de riddle lol de ray! What else is there to be said in either case? Nothing but that some spirits, like most rogues, write, and probably read, imperfectly, and might be classified, as the rogues are, under the head of "R. & W. Imp." Punch is credibly informed-credibly, because spirit-writing bears the information out, that at a recent necromantic séance the spirits were summoned by an old female party with the invocation, "Is there any sperrits present?" On the same occasion Punch's informant says that he put his hand under the table to be grasped by any other that might dare to take hold of it, fully prepared to drag that other up to the light. The experiment proved unsuccessful. Mr. Punch recommends his spiritual contemporary to remember that he is not disposed to pardon in a Jew. Equality of privileges implies an equal standard of what is just and gentlemanly. QUOD ERAT DEMONSTRANDUM. IN RE BROADSTAIRS BOATMEN. THE atrocious working of our still abominable law of imprisonment for debt is cruelly exemplified by the case of the ten gallant Broadstairs Boatmen now lying in Maidstone Gaol for the amount of a bill of costs incurred through an unsuccessful action to recover salvage for having helped to rescue from destruction a vessel nearly wrecked on the Goodwin Sands. This exploit was performed at the imminent peril of their lives. Their lugger, appropriately called the Dreadnought, their only property, which had cost £900, they had the misfortune to lose simultaneously with their lawsuit. The attorney to whom, or to whose employers, they stand indebted, claps them in quod. Neither CAPIAS nor his clients are to be condemned for screwing out of people who owe them money every farthing they can get. But they can't get blood out of a post, and the Broadstairs Boatmen, being utterly destitute, are to CAPIAS and their other detaining creditors as posts to horseleeches. What object, then, can be gained by the incarceration of these poor brave fellows? That of wringing, not their empty pockets, but the purses of a public who compassionate their sufferings, and commiserate their unworthy treatment. Surely the privilege of applying pressure |