I'll bring my action1 on the proudest he
That stops my way in Padua. — Grumio,

[Draws his sword.]

Draw forth thy weapon, we are beset with thieves;
Rescue thy mistress, if thou be a man.

Fear not, sweetheart, they shall not touch thee, Kate;
I'll defend thee against a million.

[Exeunt Petruchio, Katharina, and Grumio L.]

Baptista. Nay, let them go, a couple of quiet ones.

Gremio. Went they not quickly, I should die with laughing. Baptista. Neighbors and friends, though bride and bridegroom want,2

Yet, to supply the places at the table

You know there want no dainties at the feast

Lucentio, you shall supply the bridegroom's place;
And let Bianca take her sister's place.

Tranio. [Offering her his arm.] Shall sweet Bianca practice how to bride it?

Baptista. She shall, Lucentio. Come, gentlemen, let's go.

Grumio. Fie, fie, on all mad masters, and all foul roads. Was ever man so beaten? Was ever man so weary? I am sent before to make a fire, and they are coming after to warm them. Holla, ho! Curtis.

I'll bring my action on: I shall bring suit against.

2 want: are wanting.

3 Lucentio. Baptista addresses Tranio, the disguised servant, when he says this.

The entrance R. 2 should be a tall opening, from which the door may be missing.

[Enter Curtis L. 3.]

Curtis. Who is that calls so coldly?

Grumio. A piece of ice. A fire, good Curtis.

Curtis. Are my master and his wife coming, Grumio?
Grumio. O, ay, Curtis, ay; and therefore fire, fire.

Curtis. Is she as hot a shrew as she's reported? Grumio. She was, good Curtis, before this frost; but, thou knowest, winter tames man, woman, and beast; it hath tamed my old master and my new mistress and myself. Curtis. There's fire ready; and therefore, good Grumio, the

news.

Grumio. Where's the cook? Is supper ready?

Curtis. All ready; and therefore, I pray thee, news.

Grumio. First, know, my horse is tired; my master and mistress fallen out.

Curtis. How?

Grumio. Out of their saddles into the dirt; and thereby hangs a tale.

Curtis. Let's have it, good Grumio.

Grumio. Lend thine ear.

Curtis. Here.

Grumio. There. [Boxes his ear.] Now I begin: we came down a muddy hill, my master riding behind my mistress, Curtis.

Both on one horse?

Grumio. What's that to thee?

Curtis. Why, a horse..

Grumio. Tell thou the tale.

But hadst thou not stopped

me, thou shouldst have heard how her horse fell and she under her horse; thou shouldst have heard in how miry a place, how she was bemired, how he left her with the horse upon her, while he beat me because her horse stumbled, how she waded through the dirt to pluck him off me, how he swore, how she prayed that never prayed before, how I cried, how the horses ran away, how her bridle was burst,

how I lost my crupper,1 with many things of worthy memory, which now shall die in oblivion and thou return unexperienced to thy grave.

Curtis. By this reckoning he is more shrew than she.
Grumio. Ay; that thou and the proudest of you all shall
find when he comes home. But silence! I hear my master.
[Petruchio and Katharina arrive R. 1.]

Petruchio. Where be these knaves? What, no man at door
To hold my stirrup nor to take my horse!
Go, rascals, go, and fetch my supper in.

[Exeunt Grumio L. 2 and Curtis L. 3.]

[Singing.] "Where is the life that late I led "2

Where are those? Sit down, Kate, sweet Kate, and welcome.

[Reënter Grumio and Curtis L. 3 with supper.]

Off with my boots, you rogues! You villains!

[Grumio pulls at his boots.]

Out, you rogue! you pluck my foot awry.3

[Strikes him.]

Take that, and mend the plucking off the other. —

Be merry, Kate. Some water, here.

[Exit Curtis L. 3.]

Where are my slippers?

Shall I have some water?

[Enter Curtis with water L. 3.]

Come, Kate, and wash, and welcome heartily.

[And rising awkwardly he trips Curtis.]

You villain! Will you let it fall?

[Strikes him.]

Katharina. Patience, I pray you; 'twas a fault unwilling.
Petruchio. A beetle-headed, flap-eared knave!

Come, Kate, sit down; I know you're hungry.

1 crupper: part of the strappings for holding the saddle on the horse. 2 A number of snatches of song can be interpolated from the complete play, especially if one musically inclined will set them to music. 3 awry (a-ri'): crookedly, turned to one side.

Will you give thanks, sweet Kate; or else shall I?1-
What's this? Mutton?

Petruchio. 'Tis burnt; and so is all the meat.
How durst you bring it to me that love it not?
There, take it to you, trenchers, cups, and all.
[Throws the meat, etc., about the stage.]

You heedless joltheads and unmannered slaves!
What, do you grumble? I'll be with you straight.

[They run off L. 2 and 3.]

Katharina. I pray you, husband, be not so disquiet.
The meat was good, if you were so contented.
Petruchio. I tell thee, Kate, 'twas burnt and dried away,
And I expressly am forbid to touch it,
For it engenders choler,2 planteth anger;3
And better 'twere that both of us did fast,
Since, of ourselves, ourselves are choleric.
Be patient; tomorrow 't shall be mended,
And, for this night, we'll fast for company.

[Exeunt L. 1.]

After a moment Grumio and Curtis steal back [L. 2 and 3].

Curtis. Didst ever see the like?

He kills her in her own way. Where is he?

Grumio. In her bedroom, making a sermon on pure love to her;

And rails, and swears, and scolds, that she, poor soul,

1 Note the delicacy of this touch in Shakespeare's own Petruchio. Though Petruchio is pretending the most outrageous temper toward the servants, he speaks to Katharina gently.

2 choler (kol'ěr): irritation, anger.

It was an old superstition that certain foods produced fumes that heated the brain.

Knows not which way to stand, to look, to speak,
And sits as one new-risen from a dream.

Away, away! for he is coming hither.

[Exeunt L. 3.]

Petruchio returns [L. 1.]

Petruchio. She ate no meat today, nor none shall eat;
Last night she slept not, nor tonight she shall not;
As with the meat, some undeservéd fault

I'll find about the making of the bed;

And here I'll fling the pillow, there the bolster,
This way the coverlet, another way the sheets.
Ay, and amid this tumult I shall say
That all is done in reverend care of her;
And in conclusion she shall watch all night;
And if she chance to nod I'll rail and brawl
And with the clamor keep her still awake.
This is a way to kill a wife with kindness,

And thus I'll cure her mad and headstrong temper.
[Exit L. 1.]

Episode 7

[Prolog.] And the next day, with Hortensio come to visit

them

Katharina enters [L. 2] with Grumio.

Grumio. No, no, forsooth; I dare not for my life.

[Exit.]

Katharina. The more my wrong, the more his spite appears.

What, did he marry me to famish me?

I'm starved for food, giddy for lack of sleep.

I prithee go and get me some repast;

I care not what, so it be wholesome food.

Grumio. What say you to a calf's foot?

Katharina. 'Tis passing good; I prithee let me have it.
I fear it is too choleric a meat.

Grumio.

How say you to a fat tripe finely broiled?