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And fallen it might have long remained ! Nay, even to see it in a vision,
But Greece, who saw her moment would be what lawyers call misprision.

Caught up the prize, though prostrate, Sir Robert Filmer says—and he,

Of course, knew all about the matterAnd waved it round her beauteous Both men and beasts love monarchy;' brow.

Which proves how rational — the

latter. And Fancy bade me mark where, o'er Sidney, indeed, we know, had quite

Her altar, as its flame ascended, A different notion from the knight; Fair, laurelled spirits seemed to soar, Nay, hints a King may lose his head Who thus in song their voices blended: By slipping awkwardly his bridle :

But this is Jacobin, ill-bred, "Shine, shine for ever, glorious Flame, And (now-a-days, when Kings are led Divinest gift of gods to men!

In patent snaffles) downright idle. From Greece thy earliest splendour came,

No, no—it isn't foolish Kings To Greece thy ray returns again. (Those fixed, inevitable things

Bores paramount, by right of birth) Take, Freedom, take thy radiant That move my wrath, but your preround,

tenders, When dimmed, revive, when lost, Your mushroom rulers, sons of earth, return

Who, not like t'others, crowned Till not ashrine through earth be found, offenders On which thy glories shall not burn!' (Regular gratia Dei blockheads,

Born with three kingdoms in their


Nor leaving, on the scale of mind,

These royal Zeros far behind,

Yet, with a brass that nothing stops, THE FLY AND THE BULLOCK,

Push up into the loftiest stations, Prvem.

And, though too dull to manage shops,

Presume, the dolts, to manage Of all that, to the sage's survey,

nations! This world presents of topsy-turvey, There's nought so much disturbs his This class it is that moves my gall, patience

And stirs up spleen, and bile, and all.. As little minds in lofty stations.

While other senseless things appear 'Tis like that sort of painful wonder To know the limits of their sphereWhich slight and pigmy columns under While not a cow on earth romances

Enormous arches give beholders ; So much as to conceit she dancesOr those poor Caryatides,

While the most jumping Frog we Londemned to smile and stand at ease, know of, With a whole house upon their would scarce at Astley's hope to show shoulders.


s dare, If, as in some few royal cases,

Pigmy as are their minds, to set them Small minds are born into such places- To any business, any where, If they are there by right Divine, At any time that fools will let them.

Or any such sufficient reason, But leave we here these upstart thingsWhy-Heaven forbid we should re- My business is, just now, with Kings ; pine !

To whom, and to their right-line glory, To wish it otherwise were treason; I dedicate the following story :

-s and



That Fly on the shrine is Legitimate THE wise men of Egypt were secret as

Right, dummies;

And that Bullock the people that's And, even when they most con

sacrificed to it.' descended to teach, They packed up their meaning, as they did their mummies,

FABLE V. In so many wrappers, 'twas out of one's reach.

Proem. They were also, good people, much given

*The moment any religion becomes national, to Kings-Fond of monarchs and crocodiles, because it is then impossible to keep it uncon.

or established, its purity must certainly be lost, monkeys and mystery,

nected with men's interests; and, it' connected, Bats, hieraphants, blue-bottle flies, and it must evidently be perverted by them.'—Soame

Jenyns. such thingsAs will partly appear in this very Thus did Soame Jenyns — though a short history.


A Lord of Trade and the Planta. A Scythian philosopher (nephew, they tionssay,

Feel how Religion's simple glory To that other great traveller, young Is stained by State associations. Anacharsis)

When Catherine, after murdering Poles, Stepped into a temple of Memphis one day,

Appealed to the benign Divinity, To have a short peep at their mystical Then cut them up in protocols, farces.

Made fractions of their very souls :

All in the name of the blessed Trinity: He saw a brisk blue-bottle Fly on an Or when her grandson, Alexander, altar,

That mighty northern salamander Made much of, and worshipped as Whose icy touch, felt all about, something divine ;

Puts every fire of Freedom outWhile a large handsome Bullock, led When he, too, winds up his Ukases there in an halter,

With God and the Panagia's praises — Before it lay stabbed at the foot of When he, of royal saints the type, the shrine.

In holy water dips the sponge,

With which, at one imperial wipe, Surprised at such doings, he whispered

He would all human rights expunge ! bis teacher

When 3 (whom, as King and enter, If 'tisn't impertinent, may I ask

Some name

and some why Should a Bullock, that useful and Calls down Saint Louis' God' to powerful creature,

witness Be thus offered up to a blue-bottle fly?

The right, humanity, and fitness

Of sending eighty thousand Solons'No wonder,' said t'other, 'you stare Sages with muskets and laced coats at the sight,

To cram instruction, nolens rolens, But we as a symbol of monarchy view Down the poor struggling Spaniards' it :


According to Ælian, it was in the island of * An allusion to a play on the sound of Leucadia they practised this ceremony-Overv words made at the time in France, by which Bovv taus Mulais. - De Animal, lib, ii, cap. 8. Louis dix-huit (18th) was called des huitre(of the 2 Ames, demi-âmes, etc.

oystera), in ridicule of his taste for the pleasures of 3 Louis.

the table.

I can't help thinking (though to Kings | The qualms, the fumes of sect and

I must, of course, like othermen, bow) sceptic, That when a Christian monarch brings And all that Reason, grown dyspeptic Religion's name to gloss these things, By swallowing forced or noxious creeds, Such blasphemy out-Benbows Ben- From downright indigestion breeds ; bow !

Till, 'twixt old bigotry and new,

'Twixt Blasphemy and Cant--the two Or-not so far for facts to roam, Rank ills with which this age is cursedHaving a few much nearer home

We can no more tell which is worst, When we see churchmen, who, if asked, Than erst could Egypt, when so rich Must Ireland's slaves be tithed and in various plagues, determine which tasked,

She thought most pestilent and vile And driven, like negrocs or Croats, Her frogs, like Benbow and Carlile, That you may roll in wealth and Croaking their native mud-notes loud, bliss ?

Or her fat locusts, like a cloud Look from beneath their shovel hats

Of pluralists, obesely lowering, With all due pomp, and answer At once benighting and devouring !

"Yes!' But then, if questioned, "Shall the This—this it is—and here I pray brand

Those sapient wits of the Reviews, intclerance flings throughout that land, who make us poor, dull authors say, Betwixt her palaces and hovels, Not what we mean, but what they Suffering nor peace nor love to grow,

choose; Be ever quenched ?'—from the same Who to our most abundant shares shovels

Of nonsense add still more of theirs, Look grandly forth, and answer 'No! And are to poets just such evils alas, alas ! have these a claim

As caterpillars find those flies, 2 To merciful Religion's name?

That, pot content to sting like devils,

Lay eggs upon their backs likewise – If more you want, go, see a bevy

To guard against such foul deposits, Of bowing parsons at a levee

Of others' meanings in my rhymes (Choosing your time, when straw's before

(A thing more needful here, because it's

A subject ticklish in these times), Some apoplectic bishop's door) :

I here to all such wits make known, There, if thou canst with life escape

Monthly and weekly, Whigand Tory, That sweep of lawn, that press of crape, 'Tis this Religion-this aloneJust watch their reverences and graces, I aim at in the following story :

Shouldering their way on, at all risks, And say, if those round ample faces

Fable. To heaven or earth most turn their disks?

When Royalty was young and bold,

Ere, touched by Time, he had beThis, this it is - Religion, made, 'Twixt Church and State, a truck, a If 'tis not civil to say oldtrade

At least, a ci-devant jeune homme. This most ill-matched unholy mo. From whence the ills we witness flow- One evening, on some wild pursuit, The war of many creeds with one, Driving along, he chanced to see The extremes of 100 much faith, and Religion, passing by on foot,


And took him in his vis-à-vis.


"A publisher of infidel works.

and darting at different intervals their stings into : The greatest number of theichneumon tribe its body-at every dart they depose an egg: are scen eettling upon the back of the caterpillar, Goldsmith.



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This said Religion was a friar, Where, after hours in wrangling spent

The humblest and the best of men, (As courts must wrangle to decide Who ne'er had notion or desire

well), Of riding in a coach till then. Religion to Saint Luke's was sent,

And Royalty packed off to Bridewell : * I say'-quoth Royalty, who rather Enjoyed a masquerading joke

With this proviso --Should they be

Restored in due time to their genses, * I say, suppose, mny good old father, You lend me, for a while, your cloak. They both must give security

In future against such offences, The friar consented-little knew

Religion ne'er to lend his cloak, What tricks the youth had in his Seeing what dreadful work it leads to;

And Royalty to crack his jokeBesides, was rather tempted, too, But not to crack poor people's heads, By a laced coat he got instead.

too. Away ran Royalty, slap-dash, Scampering like mad about the town;

FABLE VI. Broke windows- shivered lamps to

smash, And knocked whole scores of watch

Proem. men down.

NOVELLA, a young Bolognese, While nought could they whose heads

The daughter of a learned law doctor,'

Who had with all the subtleties were broke, Learn of the "why’or the ‘where. Was so exceeding fair, 'tis said,

Of old and modern jurists stocked her, fore,' Except that 'twas Religion's cloak

And over bearts held such dominion, The gentleman who cracked them

That when her father, sick in bed,
Or busy, sent her, in his stead,

To lecture on the Code Justinian, Meanwhile, the friar, whose head was

She had a curtain drawn before her, turned

Lest, if her charms were seen, the By the laced coat, grew frisky too

students Looked big - his former habits

Should let their young eyes wander o'er spurned

her, And stormed about as great men do

And quite forget their jurisprudence.”

Just so it is with Truth-when seen, Dealt much in pompous oaths and A light, thin allegoric screen,

Too fair and bright—'tis from behind

She thus can safest teach mankind. Said · Damn you' often, or as bad-Laid claim to otber people's purses,

Fable. In short, grew either knave or mad.

In Thibet once there reigned, we're told, As work like this was unbefitting, A little Lama, one year old

And flesh and blood no longer bore it, Raised to the throne, that realm to bless, The Court of Common Sense, then Just when his little Holiness sitting,

Had cut-as near as can be reckonedSummoned the culprits both before it. Some say his first tooth, some his second. 1 Andreas. 2 Quand il étoit occupé d'aucune essoine, il petite courtine devant elle.--Christ. de Pise, Cité

n'empêchât la pensée des oyants, elle avoit une envoyait Novelle, sa fille, en son lieu lire aux des Dames, p. 11, chap. 36. escholes en charge, et, afin que la biaüté d'elle



him !)


Chronologers and verses vary,

And shot, from little devilish guns, Which proves historians should be wary. Hard peas into his subjects' faces. We only know the important truth — In short, such wicked pranks he played, His Majesty had cut a tooth."

And grew so niischievous (God bless And much his subjects were enchanted, That his chief Nurse—though with the As well all Lamas' subjects may be,

aid And would have given their heads, if of an Archbishop—was afraid, wanted,

When in these moods, to comb or To make tee-totums for the baby.

dress him; As he was there by Right Divine And even the persons most inclined

(What lawyers call Jure Divino, For Kings, through thick and thin, Meaning a right to yours, and mine,

to stickle, And everybody's goods and rhino)— Thought him (if they'd but speak their Of course his faithful subjects' purses

mind, Were ready with their aids and suc

Which they did not) an odious pickle. Nothing was seen but pensioued nurses, At length, some patriot lords--a breed And the land groaned with bibs and Of animals they have in Thibet, tuckers.

Extremely rare, and fit, indeed,

For folk like Pidcock to exhibitOh ! had there been a Hume or Bennet Some patriot lords, seeing the length Then sitting in the Thibet Senate, To which things went, combined their Ye Gods, what room for long debates strength, Upon the Nursery Estimates !

And penned a manly, plain and free What cutting down ofswaddling clothes Remonstrance to the Nursery;

And pin-a-fores in nightly battles ! In which, protesting that they yielded What calls for papers to expose

To none, that ever went before 'em, The waste of sugar-pluns and rattles! In loyalty to him who wielded But no-if Thibet had M. Ps.,

The hereditary pap-spoon o'er 'emThey were far better bred than these ; That, as for treason, 'twas a thing. Nor gave the slightest opposition, That made them almost sick to think During the Monarch's whole dentition. of

That they and theirs stood by the King, But short this calm ; for just when he Throughout his measles and his chin. Had reached the alarming age of three, cough, When royal natures--and, no doubt, When others, thinking him consumptive, Those of all noble beasts break out, Had ratted to the Heir Presumptive ! The Lama, who till then was quiet, But, still though much admiring Showed symptoms of a taste for riot ; Kings And, ripe for mischief, early, late, (And chiefly those in leading strings)Without regard for Church or State, They saw, with shame and grief of soul Made free with whosoe'er came nigh- There was no longer now the wise Tweaked the Lord Chancellor by the And constitutional control nose,

Of birch before their ruler's eyes; Turned all the Judges' wigs awry, But that, of late, such pranks, and

And trod on the old Generals' toes- tricks, Pelted the Bishops with hot buns, And freaks occurred the whole day

Rode cock-horse on the City maces, long,

See Turner's Embassy to Thibet for an account Though he was unable to speak a word, he made of his interview with the Lama. * Teshoo Lama the most expressive signs, and conducted himself (he says) was at this time eighteen months old. 'with astonishing dignity and decorum.'

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