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May probably suffer as, under

The Chalking Act, known to be guilty. So much for the merits sublime (With whose catalogue ne'er should I stop) Of the three greatest lights of our time, Drs. Eady and S-they and Slop! Should you ask me, to which of the three Great Doctors the preference should fall,

As a matter of course, I agree

Dr. Eady must go to the wall.
But as S-they with laurels is crowned,
And Slop with a wig and a tail is,
Let Eady's bright temples be bound
With a swinging' Corona Muralis !”

EPITAPH ON A TUFT-HUNTER.
LAMENT, lament, Sir Isaac Heard,
Put mourning round thy page, De-
brett,

For here lies one who ne'er preferred
A Viscount to a Marquis yet.
Beside him place the God of Wit,
Before him Beauty's rosiest girls;
Apollo for a star he'd quit,

And Love's own sister for an Earl's.

Did niggard Fate no peers afford,

He took, of course, to peer's rela
tions!

And rather than not sport a lord,
Put up with even the last creations.
Even Irish names, could he but tag 'em

With 'Lord' and 'Duke,' were sweet
to call;

And, at a pinch, Lord Ballyraggum
Was better than no Lord at all.

Heaven grant him now some noble nook,
For, rest his soul, he'd rather be
Genteely damned beside a Duke,
Than saved in vulgar company.

THE PETITION

OF THE ORANGEMEN OF IRELAND.

To the people of England, the humble Petition
Of Ireland's disconsolate Orangemen, showing-
That sad, very sad, is our present condition;

That our jobs are all gone, and our noble selves going;

That, forming one seventh-within a few fractions-
Of Ireland's seven millions of hot heads and hearts,
We hold it the basest of all base transactions

To keep us from murdering the other six parts;

That, as to laws made for the good of the many,
We humbly suggest there is nothing less true;
As all human laws (and our own more than any)
Are made by and for a particular few ;—

That much it delights every true Orange brother
To see you, in England, such ardour evince,
In discussing which sect most tormented the other,

And burned with most gusto, some hundred years since ;

-

1 A crown granted as a reward among the Romans to persons who performed any extraor dinary exploits upon walls-such as scaling them, battering them, etc. No doubt, writing upon them, to the extent that Dr. Eady does, would equally establish a claim to the honour.

That we love to behold, while Old England grows faint,
Messrs Southey and Butler near coming to blows.
To decide whether Dunstan, that strong-bodied saint,
Ever truly and really pulled the devil's nose;

Whether t'other saint, Dominic, burnt the devil's paw-
Whether Edwy intrigued with Elgiva's old mother
And many such points, from which Southey doth draw
Conclusions most apt for our hating each other.

That 'tis very well known this devout Irish nation
Has now for some ages gone happily on,
Believing in two kinds of Substantiation,

One party in Trans, and the other in Con,

That we, your petitioning Cons, have, in right
Of the said monosyllable, ravaged the lands,
And embezzled the goods, and annoyed, day and night,
Both the bodies and souls of the sticklers for Trans;--

That we trust to Peel, Eldon, and other such sages,
For keeping us still in the same state of mind;
Pretty much as the world used to be in those ages,
When still smaller syllables maddened mankind ;-
When the words ex and per3 served as well, to annoy
One's neighbours and friends with, as con and trans now ;
And Christians, like Southey, who stickled for oi,

Cut the throats of all Christians who stickled for ou.4

That, relying on England, whose kindness already
So often has helped us to play the game o'er,
We have got our red coats and our carabines ready,
And wait but the word to show sport, as before.

That, as to the expense-the few millions, or so,
Which for all such diversions John Bull has to pay-
'Tis, at least, a great comfort to John Bull to know
That to Orangemen's pockets 'twill all find its way.
For which your petitioners ever will pray,

1 To such important discussions as these the greater part of Dr. Southey's Vindiciæ Ecclesiæ Anglicana is devoted.

2 Consubstantiation-the true reformed belief; at least the belief of Luther, and, as Mosheim asserts, of Melancthon also.

3 When John of Ragusa went to Constantinople (at the time this dispute between 'ex' and

etc. etc. etc. etc. etc.

'per' was going on), he found the Turks, we are told, laughing at the Christians for being divided by two such insignificant particles."

The Arian controversy.-Before that time, says Hooker, in order to be a sound believing Christian, men were not curious what syllables or particles of speech they used.'

A VISION.

BY THE AUTHOR OF CHRISTABEL.

"UP!' said the Spirit, and, ere I could pray

One hasty orison, whirled me away
To a limbo, lying-I wist not where-
Above or below, in earth or air;
All glimmering o'er with a doubtful
light,

One couldn't say whether 'twas day or night;

And crossed by many a mazy track, One didn't know how to get on or back; And I felt like a needle that's going astray

(With its one eye out) through a bundle of hay;

When the Spirit he grinned, and whispered me,

'Thou'rt now in the Court of Chancery!' Around me flitted unnumbered swarms Of shapeless, bodiless, tailless forms; (Like bottled-up babes that grace the

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Or an Irish Dump ('the words by Moore')

At an amateur concert screamed in score: :

So harsh on my ear that wailing fell Of the wretches who in this Limbo dwell!

It seemed like the dismal symphony Of the shapes Æneas in hell did see; Or those frogs, whose legs a barbarous cook

Cut off, and left the frogs in the brook, To cry all night, till life's last dregs,

Give us our legs!-give us our legs! Touched with this sad and sorrowful

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Amazed and posed, I was just about To ask his name, when the screams without,

The merciless clack of the imps within,

And that conjuror's mutterings, made such a din,

That, startled, I woke-leaped up in my bed

Found the Spirit, the imps, and the conjuror fled,

And blessed my stars, right pleased to

see

That I wasn't as yet in Chancery.

NEWS FOR COUNTRY COUSINS.

DEAR Coz, as I know neither you nor Miss Draper,
When Parliament's up, ever take in a paper,
But trust for your news to such stray odds and ends
As you chance to pick up from political friends-
Being one of this well-informed class, I sit down,
To transmit you the last newest news that's in town.

As to Greece and Lord Cochrane, things couldn't look better-
His Lordship (who promises now to fight faster)
Has just taken Rhodes, and despatched off a letter
To Daniel O'Connell, to make him Grand Master;

Engaging to change the old name, if he can,

From the Knights of St. John to the Knights of St. Dan—
Or, if Dan should prefer, as a still better whim

Being made the Colossus, 'tis all one to him.

From Russia the last accounts are, that the Czar-
Most generous and kind, as all sovereigns are,

And whose first princely act (as you know, I suppose)
Was to give away all his late brother's old clothes-

Is now busy collecting, with brotherly care,

The late Emperor's night-caps, and thinks of bestowing
One night-cap apiece (if he has them to spare)

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On all the distinguished old ladies now going.
(While I write an arrival from Riga- the Brothers'-
Having night-caps on board for Lord Eld-n and others.)

Last advices from India-Sir Archy, 'tis thought,
Was near catching a Tartar (the first ever caught
In N. lat. 21)—and his Highness Burmese,
Being very hard pressed to shell out the rupees,
But not having much ready rhino, they say, meant
To pawn his august golden foot' for the payment.-
(How lucky for monarchs, that can, when they choose,
Thus establish a running account with the Jews!)
The security being what Rothschild calls ‘goot,'
A loan will be forthwith, of course, set on foot ;-
The parties are Rothschild-A. Baring and Co.,
And three other great pawnbrokers-each takes a toe,

'This Potentate styles himself the Monarch of the Golden Foot.

And engages (lest Gold-foot should give us leg bail, As he did once before) to pay down on the nail.

This is all for the present-what vile pens and paper Yours truly, dear Cousin-best love to Miss Draper.

!

AN INCANTATION.

SUNG BY THE BUBBLE SPIRIT. AIR- Come with me, and we will go Where the rocks of coral grow. COME with me, and we will blow Lots of bubbles, as we go; Bubbles, bright as ever Hope Drew from fancy-or from soap; Bright as e'er the South Sea sent From its frothy element ! Come with me, and we will blow Lots of bubbles as we go.

Mix the lather, Johnny W-lks,
Thou who rhym'st so well to bilks:1
Mix the lather- who can be
Fitter for such task than thee,
Great M.P. for Sudsbury!

Now the frothy charm is ripe,
Puffing Peter, bring thy pipe,-
Thou, whom ancient Coventry
Once so dearly loved, that she
Knew not which to her was sweeter,
Peeping Tom or puffing Peter-

Puff the bubbles high in air,
Puff thy best to keep them there.
Bravo, bravo, Peter M-re!
Now the rainbow humbugs soar,
Glittering all with golden hues,
Such as haunt the dreams of Jews-
Some, reflecting mines that lie
Under Chili's glowing sky;
Some, those virgin pearls that sleep
Cloistered in the southern deep;

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Others, as if lent a ray
From the streaming Milky Way,
Glistening o'er with curds and whey
From the cows of Alderney!
Now's the moment-who shall first
Catch the bubbles ere they burst?
Run, ye squires, ye viscounts, run,
Br-gd-n, T-ynh-m, P-lm—r-
st-n;-

John W-lks, junior, runs beside ye,
Take the good the knaves provide ye !3
See, with upturned eyes and hands,
Where the Chareman, Br—gd—n,
stands,

4

Gaping for the froth to fall
Down his swallow-lye and all!
See !-

But, hark, my time is out-
Now, like some great waterspout,
Scattered by the cannon's thunder,
Burst, ye bubbles, all asunder!

[Here the stage darkens-a discordant crash is heard from the orchestra—the broken bubbles descend in a saponaceous but uncleanly mist over the heads of the Dramatis Personce, and the scene drops, leaving the bubble-hunters—all in the suds.]

A DREAM OF TURTLE.

BY SIR W. CURTIS.

'TWAS evening time, in the twilight sweet

I was sailing along, when-whom should I meet,

ing the splendid habiliments of the soldier, apostrophizes him, Thou rainbow ruffian!' 3 Lovely Thais sits beside thee, Take the good the Gods provide thee.' So called by a sort of Tuscan dulcification of the ch in the word 'Chairman.'

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