But a turtle journeying o'er the sea, 'On the service of his Majesty !' When I spied him first, in the twilight dim, I did not know what to make of him; But said to myself-as slow he plied His fins, and rolled from side to side, Conceitedly over the watery path"Tis my Lord of St-w-11 taking a bath; And I hear him now, among the fishes, But, no-twas, indeed, a turtle, wide But now 'a change came o'er my dream,' Like the magic lantern's shifting slider ; I looked, and saw by the evening beam, On the back of that turtle sate a rider, A goodly man, with an eye so merry, As made the turtle squeak with glee, And own that they gave him a lively notion Of what his own forced-meat balls would be. So on the Sec., in his glory, went Waving his hand, as he took farewell, Are the English forms of Diplomacy! COTTON AND CORN. A DIALOGUE. SAID Cotton to Coru t'other day, As they met, and exchanged a salute— (Squire Corn in his cabriolet, Poor Cotton, half famished, on foot)— 'Great Squire, if it isn't uncivil Look down on a hungry poor devil, Quoth Corn then, in answer to Cotton, "To expect that we, peers of high birth, Should waste our illustrious acres For no other purpose on earth Than to fatten curst calico-makers!— That bishops to bobbins should bend,— Should stoop from their bench's sublimity, Great dealers in lawn, to befriend Your contemptible dealers in dimity! 'No-vile manufacture! ne'er harbour A hope to be fed at our boards;— Base offspring of Arkwright the barber, What claim canst thou have upon lords? 'No-thanks to the taxes and debt, And the triumph of paper o'er guineas, Our race of Lord Jemmys, as yet, May defy your whole rabble of Jennys l So saying, whip, crack, and away Went Corn in his cab through the throng, So madly, I heard them all say Squire Corn would be down before long. THE DONKEY AND HIS PANNIERS. A FABLE. Fessus jam sudat asellus, Parce illi; vestrum delicium est asinus.-Virgil. Copa. A DONKEY, whose talent for burdens was wondrous, His owners and drivers stood round in amaze- For every description of job-work so ready! One driver (whom Ned might have 'hailed' as a 'brother')1 For vigour, for spirit, for one thing or other, When, lo, 'mid his praises, the donkey came down ! But, how to upraise him?-one shouts, t'other whistles, Another wise Solomon cries, as he passes, 'There, let him alone, and the fit will soon cease Some looked at his hoofs, and, with learned grimaces, But others who gabbled a jargon half Gaelic, Exclaimed, Hoot awa, mon, you're a' gane astray,' At length, a plain rustic, whose wit went so far As to see others' folly, roared out, as he passed- 'Alluding to an early poem of Mr. Coleridge's addressed to an ass, and beginning, 'I hail thee, brother!' 2 A certain country gentleman having said in the House, 'that we must return at last to the food of our ancestors,' somebody asked Mr. T. 'what food the gentleman meant ?'-"Thistles, I suppose,' answered Mr. T. ODE TO THE SUBLIME PORTE. GREAT Sultan, how wise are thy state compositions! "Tis my fortune to know a lean Benthamite spinster- Who tells you how clever one Mr. F-nbl-nque is, To see her, ye Gods, a new Number devouring- Art. 3, Upon Fallacies,' Jeremy's own (The chief fallacy being his hope to find readers); Art. 4, Upon Honesty '-author unknown; Art. 5 (by the young Mr. M-), 'Hints to Breeders.' Oh Sultan, oh Sultan, though oft for the bag And the bowstring, like thee, I am tempted to call- Ay, and-lest she should ever again lift her head As a clog, as a sinker, far better than lead, I would hang round her neck her own darling Reviev Oft, too, the Corn grows animate, Themselves together by the ears! While, leaders of the wheat, a row Stand forth, somniferously flaming! In short, their torments never cease; And oft I wish myself transferred off To some far, lonely land of peace, Where Corn or Papists ne'er were heard of. Oh waft me, Parry, to the Pole; For-if my fate is to be chosen 'Twixt bores and icebergs-on my soul, I'd rather, of the two, be frozen! THE PERIWINKLES AND THE LOCUSTS. A SALMAG UNDIAN HYMN. To Panurge was assigned the Lairdship of Salmagundi, which was yearly worth 6,789,106,789 ryals, besides the revenue of the Locusts and Periwinkles, amounting one year with another to the value of 2,425,768,' etc. etc.-Rabelais. 'HURRA! Hurra!' I heard them say, And they cheered and shouted all the way, As the Laird of Salmagundi went The Salmagundians once were rich, For, every year, the Revenue1 From their periwinkles larger grew; 5, 6, 7, 8, and 9 and 10, men! Nor this the worst, for, direr still, Alack, alack, and well-a-day! Their Periwinkles-once the stay And prop of the Salmagundian till— For want of feeding, all fell ill! And still, as they thinned and died away, The Locusts, ay, and the Locusts' Bill, 'Oh fie! oh fie!' was now the cry, Accented as in Swift's line'Not so a nation's revenues are paid.' |