her admirers must play no tricks; they feel no great anxiety, for they are fure, in the end, of being rewarded in proportion to their merit. When Swift ufed to appear in public, he generally had the mob fhouting in his train. "Pox take these fools," he would fay; "how much joy might all this bawling give my lord mayor ?" We have feen thofe virtues, which have, while living, retired from the public eye, generally tranfmitted to pofterity, as the trueft objects of admiration and praife. Perhaps the character of the lateDuke of Marlborough may one day be fet up, even above that of his more talked-of predeceffor; fince an affemblage of all the mild and amiable virtues are far fuperior to thofe vulgarly called the great ones. I must be pardoned for this fhort tribute to the memory of a man, who, while living, would as much deteft to receive any thing that wore the appearance of flattery, as I fhould to offer it. I know not how to turn fo trite a subject out of the beaten road of common place, except by illuftrating it, rather by the affiftance of my memory than judgment; and, inftead of making reflections, by telling a story. A Chinefe, who had long ftudied the works of Confucius, who knew the characters of fourteen thoufand words, and could read a great part of every book that came in his way, once took it into his head to travel into Europe, and obferve the customs of a people whom he thought not very much inferior even to his own countrymen, in the arts of refining upon every pleafure. Upon his arrival at Amfter Amfterdam, his paffion for letters naturally led him to a bookseller's fhop; and, as he could fpeak a little Dutch, he civilly asked the bookfeller for the works of the immortal Xixofou. The bookfeller affured him he had never heard the book mentioned before." What, have you never heard of that immortal poet?" returned the other, much fur-prised, "that light of the eyes, that favourite of "kings, that rofe of perfection! I fuppofe you know "nothing of the immortal Fipfihihi, fecond coufin "to the moon?" "Nothing at all, indeed, Sir," returned the other. "Alas!" cries our traveller, 66 to what purpose, then, has one of these fasted to "death, and the other offered himself up as a fa"crifice to the Tartar enemy, to gain a renown " which has never travelled beyond the precincts "of China!" There is fcarce a village in Europe, and not one univerfity that is not thus furnished with its little great men. The head of a petty corporation, who opposes the designs of a prince who would tyrannically force his fubjects to fave their beft clothes for Sundays; the puny pedant, who finds one undif covered quality in the polype, or describes an unheeded procefs in the skeleton of a mole, and whose mind, like his microscope, perceives nature only in detail; the rhymer, who makes smooth verfes, and paints to our imagination, when he should only fpeak to our hearts: all equally fancy themselves walking forward to inmortality, and defire the crowd behind them to look on. The crowd take them at their word. Patriot, philofopher, and poet, are shouted in their turn. "Where was there 66 ever "ever fo much merit feen? no times fo important as our own; ages yet unborn fhall gaze with won"der and applaufe!" To fuch mufic, the important pigmy moves forward, bustling and fwelling, and aptly compared to a puddle in a storm. I have lived to fee generals who once had crowds hal!ooing after them wherever they went, who were bepraised by newspapers and magazines, thofe echoes of the voice of the vulgar, and yet they have long funk into merited obfcurity, with scarce even an epitaph left to flatter. A few years ago, the herring-fishery employed all Grub-street; it was the topic in every coffee-house, and the burden of every ballad. We were to drag up oceans of gold from the bottom of the fea; we were to fupply all Europe with herrings upon our own terms. At prefent, we hear no more of all this. We have fifhed up very little gold that I can learn; nor do we furnish the world with herrings, as was expected. Let us wait but a few years longer, and we shall find all our expectations an herring-fifhery. ESSAY IX. On Puffing. Difputing Clubs. Rules of good Behaviour, for raifing the Devil, &c. E effayifts, who are allowed but one fubject WE at a time, are by no means fo fortunate as the writers of magazines, who write upon feveral. If a magaziner be dull upon the Spanish war, he foon has us up again with the ghoft in Cock-lane: if the reader begins to doze upon that, he is quickly roufed by an eastern tale; tales prepare us for poe try, try, and poetry for the meteorological history of the weather. It is the life and foul of a magazine never to be dull upon one subject; and the reader, like the failor's horse, has at least the comfortable refreshment of having the spur often changed. As I fee no reason why these should carry off all the rewards of genius, 1 have fome thoughts, for the future, of making my effays a magazine in miniature: I shall hop from fubject to subject, and, if properly encouraged, I intend in time to adora my feuille volant with pictures. But, to begin in the ufual form. A MODEST ADDRESS to the PUBLIC, in be half of the INFERNAL MAGAZINE. THE public has been fo often impofed upon by the unperforming promifes of others, that it is with the utmost modefty we affure them of our inviolable defign to give the very best collection that ever aftonished society. The public we honour and regard; and therefore, to instruct and entertain them, is our highest ambition, with labours calculated as well to the head as the heart. If four extraordinary pages of letter-prefs be any recommendation of our wit, we may at least boast the honour of vindicating our own abilities. To fay more in favour of the INFERNAL MAGAZINE, would be unworthy the public; to fayless, would be injurious to ourselves. As we have no interested motives for this undertaking, being a fociety of gentlemen of diftinction, we difdain to eat or write like hirelings: we are all gentlemen, and therefore are refolved to fell our magazine magazine for fixpence, merely for our own amufe ment. Be careful to afk for the Infernal Magazine. DEDICATION To that most ingenious of all Patrons, THE TRIPOLINE AMBASSADO R4 May it please your Excellency, AS your taste in the fine arts is univerfally. allowed and admired, permit the authors of the Infernal Magazine to lay the following fheets humbly at your Excellency's toe; and, fhould our labours ever have the happiness of one day adorn ing the Court of Fez, we doubt not that the in, fluence wherewith we are honoured, fhall be ever retained with the moft warm ardour, by, May it please your Excellency, Your moft devoted humble fervants, A SPEECH, SPOKEN BY THE INDIGENT PHILOSOPHER, TO PERSUADE HIS CLUB AT CATEATON NOT TO DECLARE WAR AGAINST SPAIN. My honest friends, and brother politicians, I perceive that the intended war with Spain makes many |