MY HONEY-MOON; OR, DOMESTIC BLISS. BY THE AUTHOR OF THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.» I HAVE ofter heard the complaint, that whereas almost all comedies and novels end with a marriage, which is supposed to be the beginning of a state of exquisite happiness, the world, (that is the single portion of it), is left in a state of ignorance as to what that happiness consists in. I purpose. in the following pages, to do something at least towards affording satisfaction on this point to those who stand in need of it, by giving them a sample of my own experience as a Benedict. It is a twelvemonth to-day-this worked silk night-cap (affection's offering) which I now for the first time put on, reminds me of the fact-since my Laura made me the happiest of men. From the gay and festive scenes of the Metropolis, where the nuptial knot was tied, we hastened down to a delightfully snug little cottage, situated on the banks of the majestic Thames. Never shall I forget those blissful emotions which I experienced when, on the second day of our joyful union, Laura and I, our morning meal (consisting of new-laid eggs, homebaked bread, fresh butter, delicious cream, fragrant Mocha, and some exquisitely-flavoured ham) having been despatched, walked forth into the morning sunshine down the gravel-path of our, little garden. The buds were coming out, and 'so (to speak of them as singers) were the little birds—the aerial goldfinch, the blackbirds in the gooseberry-bushes, and the lark on the plum-tree in its bloom. We walked together in a manner which we always adopt when nobody is looking atoustovIt is this. I take Laura's right hand in mine, and pass her arm around my left; then I do not let go, of her hand, but continue to hold it, sustaining at the same time my own left hand with my right arm. In this way we wandered up and down the paths, and among the flowerbeds. At first we did not say much, that is, we did not talk much; but when our eyes met, there was a mutual exchange of eloquence which no words, I am sure, could ever have effected. We looked at each other, then smiled, then sighed, then looked up into the clear blue sky, as if to ask what happier beings might dwell there. At length, after a long, but most expressive silence, my Laura ‹spoke. " Tootsicums! she whispered, communicating to my left side the slightest possible impulse with her elbow. The endearing epithet which she applied to me was one with which affection had just enriched her vocabulary. She had read it in no book, culled it from no dictionary but that of the heart. Soft word!-it suited well her silvery toneTootsicums! she said. J Kitsy, Kitsy, Kitsy, I replied, with a smile of fondness. Whatever you like, love," I replied. No, dear,what you like. Well, sweet, shall it be a leg of mutton? But what do you like best, Tibby? (I sometimes call her Tibby, as she calls me Tootsicums, I asked. The affectionate creature, with a movement of feigned impatience, looked up, with one of those peculiar glances which always had such an effect upon me into my face for an instant, and then fixed her eyes on the ground; There was no mistaking her meaning, Nay, I said, my soul's treasure, I meant, what do you like best to eat? " VOL. IV. ་ 29 Oh! she replied, there are so many nice things, dear. There's fricandeau of veal, you know. » Yes, and veal-cutlets. » I. «Yes, and curried chicken. » " Yes, and haricot mutton,» Oh, yes! and-Law! oh, Tootsicums, what say you to a leg of pork-boiled, you know?» With peas-pudding? Oh, yes!-with peas-pudding,» cried the delighted girl.→ It will be so nice-I am so fond of it.» Now don't talk so, sir," said the playful creature; »you mustn't-if you do, I shall beat you..»! «Kitsy, Kitsy,Kitsy, was my reply to this pretty threat, imprinting as I thus expressed myself but it is not fair, even for a husband, to kiss and tell. Don't, said dear Laura; see how you've bent my bonnet! She said don't in a tone which converted « don't » into do, with the addition of you can't think howit gratifies me. Beautiful, example of affectionate irony! I'll never do so any more, said I, rubbing my eyes, and pretending to cry like a little boy. You are sure, now? » ever u I answered by repeating the offence forthwith; at which Laura exclaimed, in her little bewitching way, Oh, you naughty story!» slapping me at the same time on the shoulder, but also allowing her hand to remain there, which, if she had hit me so hard, would have taken all the pain away. Hereupon my arm almost unconsciously encircled her delicate form, and her hand continuing where she had placed it, we, as it were, instinctively began to waltz. We waltzed in and out of the flower-beds, up and down the gravel-path, all around the green, and then back again down to the summer-house. As we were whirling along, my dressing-gown happened to catch in a gooseberry-bush, and down I came, with dear Laura too, of course. My falling first, however, saved her; but as to myself, I fell backwards, and received an unpleasant bruise, and, what was worse, tore my new trowsers. Jim! dear Jim! almost shrieked my affectionate Laura » totally regardless of self, are you are you hurt? Oh! speak -tell me say d alwold to my der No, dear, no; only a little. Now, don't look so I'm not hurt much, I assure you'tis only a trifle-'tisn't, upon my word,» said I, trying to calm her fond alarm, though I was forced to rub myself all the while. Now, I know it hurts you very much," she replied. • Poor Tootsicums let me tiss it, den, for him, and make it well! u Bless her little heart, I cried. But see here, Tibby," (and I turned round, see here, what a misfortune! I showed her what happened to my nether garment. I must go and change.. I Law! Jim, said Laura, there's no occasion for that. We won't dance any more, for fear, you know, you should get another tumble. So she put her arm round me, and I put mine round her, and we walked steadily in-doors. Now, I know that there are a great many people who will laugh at all this, and call it foolish, and perhaps it may seem so to them; but it's very pleasant though, for all that. After ordering cook to be sure and get the leg of pork ready exactly at five,, and to take care and have some nice sprouts, and some kail, if she could get any, and also to make a roll-black-currant-jam-pudding, (which both of us are very fond of,) Laura got a needle and thread to sew up my trowsers. Just as she had finished the last stitch, the servant, without any warning, opened the door, and almost before she could announce him, in came Ruggles. Both my wife and I started so, that he must have thought it very odd; however, I contrived to put on a look of unconcern, and to introduce him to Laura as my particular friend,-which he is, though I certainly wished him at Jericho just then; more particularly as he is always quizzing somebody or other, Having cordially welcomed my friend, I resumed my seat; but in doing so the needle, which Laura in her hurry had forgotten to remove, ran into me nearly a quarter of an inch, and made me jump up, and cry out as if I had been stung. I pretended that it was a shooting of one of my corns that hurt me; but I think Ruggles know better, for I saw that he was grinning under pretence of blowing his nose. 2921Dear Laura (she catches a thing directly,) saw in a moment that Ruggles was a bachelor, so, to tease him, she came and sat on the sofa by me, and hitched her little finger in mine, and then, smiling at him, said. " Are you married, Mr. Ruggles? » .1 No, answered Ruggles, slightly shrugging his shoulders, and making a faint grimace, as much as to say, rather think not. I should «Oh, he's no soul, love, has he? inquired Laura, looking up tenderly in my face. Not he, Tibby," I replied. Mr, Ruggles rubbed his hands with an air of much selfcomplacency... af mag Ah! Ruggles, I observed, throwing myself back upon the sofa, when you are married you'll know better.» Won't he, Tootsicums, dear? said Laura. 124 "Well now, Ruggles, you'll stay and take lunch? I asked. «Tibby, dear, is it ready?« I'll go and see, duck.» No it shan't, dove. Let its Tootsicums ring. No; I want to see cook, dear,-about, she added, in a whisper at my ear, about something nice." So she rose, and bounded to the door like a fawn: I tripping after her on tip-toe. Hey! little kiddlums, kiddlums, kiddlums, kiddlums! I cried, gently compressing her shoulders as she made her exit. Oh, you tease!» she winningly exclaimed. «Kiddlums! » I cried after her down the passage, (this was a new term of endearment for her, which had just come into my head,) kiddlums! By the time Laura returned, lunch was ready. Thereat Ruggles acquitted himself in a manner which proved, to the entire satisfaction of Laura, the correctness of the character which I had ascribed to him. At length, after drinking a |