189 66 THE COUNTRY JUSTICE. Then the Justice, In fair round belly, with good capon lined, SHAKSPEARE. IMPORTANT persons were those Country Justices in the olden time;-men who, like Robert Shallow, Esq., were gentlemen born, and wrote "armigero to any bill, warrant, quittance, or obligation;" men whose estates were goodly and rich;" who had always in readiness "a few young pigeons, or short-legged hens, with a joint or two of mutton," or any other "kickshaw," which William the cook could soon dress;-possessors of fruitful orchards and shady arbours, where they could treat their guests to "a last year's pippin of their own grafting; with a dish of carraways, and so forth." But we have no Justice Shallows now, who in their younger days "heard the chimes at midnight," sung the tunes that they "heard the carman whistle," and had "lain all night at the Windmill in St. George's Fields;"-perhaps within a few yards of where I am now sitting to write this paper. No! they are gone! -Old Jane Nightwork has also long been dead; she will never again be "angered to the heart" by Robert Shallow-never more hear the watchword of "Hem! boys," or be knocked up at night to let in the roystering blades of Clement's Inn; old Silence has sung his last song. Time has, however, left their merry doings unimpaired, and their memories will still be fresh and green in the pages of the immortal Shakspeare, when we, who now laugh at their mad pranks, are forgot ten. Then there is old Justice Clement, still sitting in magisterial dignity in the pages of "rare Ben Jonson;" and exclaiming, "My chair, sirrah," before proceeding to business. A man who could "smell mischief," and would never be seen without his sword when a soldier appeared before him; who would call for a "bowl of sack," and for a sentence make his prisoner quaff a cup of it; who knew how to teach a knave a trick for saying "he must ;" and when the trial was over, was the first to propose that the night should be spent in "love and laughter." Who that has read "A New Way to Pay Old Debts," can forget Justice Greedy?-that true lover of good living, whose "mouth run over" at the mention of a pipe of rich Canary; who took the cook by the hand, and could give thanks for the "larded pheasant," and was ready to prove that any commission might be put off for a good dinner; who could "even cry" when it was delayed, and would not stir a step without "a corner of that immortal pasty." He was the man who grew eloquent while describing the "state of a fat turkey ;" and all the "grandeur and decorum which he marched with." He "honoured a chine of beef," and "reverenced a loin of veal;"―ate often, and gave thanks, until his "belly was braced up like a drum," and that he "called justice." He raised the very house when the cook refused to stuff the fawn "with a Norfolk dumpling ;" and would have gone "stark mad" had he not prevailed upon him to "dish out_the woodcocks with toast and butter." Rare fellows were these old Country Justices! We have in our day had many a "hair-breadth escape" from these surly summoners, when we unconsciously trespassed upon some forbidden ground, or made our way through some huge gap, which the foxhunter had first burst open. Nay, more than once have we been called upon to find bail for traversing old woods, keeping suspicious-looking dogs, and many other similar misdemeanours, to which we were compelled to plead guilty. Crimes these might be, but they have left no pangs behind; their remembrance awakeneth no pain, nothing but a regret that they cannot be committed again, to bring back all the pleasures of former punishment. Dear old Justice B-! what a pleasure it was to be summoned before thee !-to look on thy rubicund face and Bardolphian nose-that blazing beacon which was toasted through drinking Tory toasts, and had flamed through fifty elections for town or country. To see thee red with passion, while exclaiming, "Silence, sirrah!" and ere thou hadst had a couple of pinches from that old silver snuff-box, turn round and exclaim, "What case next? You may go home, sirrah." Ah, well did we know the mood that thou wert in by watching the ponderous pigtail which hung half-way down thy back!-it was the barometer that told the temperature of thy temper; when it was still, it denoted changeable," in which state it was quite uncertain what weather might next prevail;-when it moved rapidly, or was tossed from one shoulder to the other without cessation, then was it stormy indeed—a complete hurricane-that even shook the powder from thy venerable head;-when it rose and fell gently, and seemed quite in a good humour with itself, like a kitten playing with its own tail, then it was fair, clear, and sunshiny; poacher and trespasser were then liberated, the one with an oath, and the other with a threat. A choleric old fellow wert thou at times; but thy passion was soon over-it never lasted long enough to take hold of thy heart. A staunch pillar wert thou of the church, but thy guinea was ever ready to assist the dissenters; witness that old Sunday school to which I went when a boy. Terrible threats wert thou wont to thunder forth before the poor beggars that hung around thy gates; but rarely did they ever retire beyond the garden-hedge before thy old gray-headed serving-man John, was sent after them with a huge lump of cold meat, a loaf of bread, and a shilling. Strict wert thou in protecting the preserves and warrens of thy neighbours, while we plundered thine own in the open daylight; and had much ado to keep the young rabbits from squeaking in our pockets while we drank the horn of beer before thine own hall-door. Thou wouldst ride ten miles at midnight to prevent thy old neighbours from going to law, while thou thyself hadst some trial or other at every assize, and wert never known to win a cause. Fond wert thou of committing a man for trespass, but ere he had eaten his fill in thy huge ancient kitchen, thou wouldst step in, (and having rapped out a volley of old English oaths,) often ordering him another jug of ale, then bid him "Get home, and see that he let the game alone as he went through the park." Ever ready wert thou to take our own recognisance for fifty pounds, when all we were masters of were the ugly lurcher at our heels, a hand net with which we plundered thy own fish-ponds, and a few wire snares, in which almost as many of our own mongrels had been hung as we had caught hares on thine own estate; but thou wouldst then take our own word for fifty, readier than another would take our bond. If thou ever hadst a dislike to any one, it was to the radical tailor in the village; still he made all thy garments, and charged thee double the price that another would. The rascal has a family, and they must live," was thy exclamation ;—and so he did, although he had been caught pelting thee at more than one election, and had at the "polling booth" told thee to thy face that he was independent, and needed not the work of any Tory. Thou wert the very personification of John Bull, the imbodiment of the true old English gentleman; body and soul wert thou a Tory, but such a one as even we ragged radicals loved; thou hadst everybody's good word-ten thousand eyes shed tears for thee when thou wert dead. Brimful wert thou of harmless prejudices and stubborn notions, but they were all English; even in thy very faults there was something to love-in thy greatest absurdities much to admire--in thy errors many a charm. Many a time hast thou been grumbling in thy throat while thine heart was planning some kindness; often censuring the culprit with thy tongue when thy hand was grasping his with a friendly clutch that sank to the very soul. Such men as the Old Justice live nowhere but in England-such hearts beat but rarely in other climes— such bodies are only moulded in British pastures. Heaven bless thee, my dear country! thy green hills and old woods will be found imprinted upon my heart when I am dead. I love thee with a fervidness that grows with my growth-with a passion that can never die. I could be content to wear my immortality for ever in thy sea-girt breast, nor sigh for another heaven. Oh, heart! mayest thou lie cold and senseless ere thy pantings are quickened by the sound of hostile feet! May I be dead ere I hear the thunder of the invader frighting the sweet song-birds from the tranquil forests which I N |