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set out all their stock in their shop nally dunned by your infernal constiwindows, put on white cravats, curl tuents to “ do something" for them; their hair, and trust to Providence ! which, being literally translated into The most ridiculous and unnatural, English, means laying yourself under although highly fashionable, alliance obligations to enable these fellows to between poverty and pretension, so “ do nothing" for themselves. prévalent now-a-days, has given rise Several of our parliamentary friends, to a custom of giving cards from clubs, consequently, are obliged to carry two as thus:
card.cases, the one containing the ad. MR Sidney BIDDOLPH,
dress of their private residences, the Rag and Famish Club, other that of some political club: when St Luke's Square. encountered by one of these horrid
bores, and there is no other means of MR ADOLPHUS Cub,
escape, of course you shake him warmly One-and-Ninepenny Club, by the hand, beg of him to dine with
Covent Garden, you any day, and poke into his mutand so forth.--Now, you must al tou fist the card of your club: the fel. wars avoid fellows who give you the low infests the waiting-room for a card, pot of their residence, but of week or two, but of course you are not their ciub; depend upon it, the le to be caught, and your independent prosy of poverty hangs about those elector, wearied out, re-emigrates to fellows, and if you are seen for one his paternal morasses, where he boasts moment in their company, you will that he dined with you every day—you be suspected of having caught the in. blessing your stars, in the mean time, fection, and have to perform quaran. that you see no more of him till the tine for life. The idea of one gentle- next general election ! man inviting another to call and see Military and naval men, too, whose him at a club!-Call and see me at lives are necessarily migratory, and Bartholomew Fair, or pop in upon me who do not come regularly to town for at Epsom Races, is quite as much of the season, are entitled to receive your an invitation.
invitations at their club; but no man, We recollect once being seduced, whether civil or military, with the by associations arising from remem least pretensions to good taste, gives brances of old school-fellowship, into invitations to his club, unless to pergoing to see a friend of ours at his sons who may not with propriety be club. Shade of Brummell-what a received any where else : if any such refinement of horrors! On enquiring are given to you, it is impossible for for our friend, our message ran the you to maintain your position withgauntlet of half-a-score undisciplined out giving your entertainer the cut louts in parsley-and-butter coats, and direct. staring scarlet breeches, running Quasi fashionable neighbourhoods across the hall in horrible confusion; abound; we would willingly leave having ascertained, in the course of them in well-deserved obscurity, but half-an hour, that the person enquir. we feel it our duty to warn all preed for was within, we were then- tenders to fashion, that is to say, of but not till then-ushered into a half- several hundreds of thousands who naked room, without light or fire: have no pretensions at all, of the fatal this Pandemonium was called, we mistakes they may commit in this parwere informed, the waiting-room, and ticular. We must caution them to avoid here, among a lot of strange-looking the more northerly parts of the popucreatures like ourselves, “in waiting" lous borough of Marylebone, the new were we forced to abide the coming streets and squares to the northward of our old school-fellow, and in a cor. of Hyde Park, and the territories, of ner to whisper into each other's ears whatever descriptions, in the vicinity our pleasurable reminiscences. There of Pimlico. The last- mentioned is only one excuse for a man having neighbourhood, especially, is provera card with a club on it: it is quite bially fatal to fashionable expeciations; an allowable failing when one has the yet many simple-minded persons from misfortune to be a member of Parlia- the country, opine that, in the neighment, and, of course, to be liable to bourhood of a royal palace, they must the horrid inflictions, than which the be right. Nothing is more conclurack is more tolerable, of being eter sive of the sensitiveness of the world
of fashion upon its geographical ex into circles where their wealth exclusiveness, than the fact, that even cites only envy, and their ostentation royal preference cannot establish the provokes only contempt, would be aristocracy of a vicinity famous only above all praise or blame. Their for its brick pits and its ale.
dinners we eat, if not with admiration, Privy Gardens, May Fair, and with respect; more solid than reSpring Gardens, may probably assert cherché, there is an old English subthe custom of society in favour of their stantiality about them that forbids strictly fashionable character; the two severity of criticism. Pitying the latter, however, have assumed some poverty of their claret, we forgive what of a quasi character of late them for the richness of their madeira years; the streets secondary to Bel- —their evening parties we wish we grave Square, and those leading from conld recommend—we might be sePiccadilly, are very much in the same veré upon this head, but, as we have condition.
just returned from an exhibition of Mixed neighbourhoods are so nu. this sort, we say no more. The lobmerous as to defy classification: one ster salads were respectable, and gra: end of a street, as Piccadilly, shall be titude should last as long as diges intensely vulgar, the other shall as tion. pire to the Corinthian capital of society. Of high genteel neighbourhoods, In these difficult circumstances, the Baker Street, Gloucester Street, Portman who would stand well with people man Square, the swarm of little of fashion, must not only regard his streets nestling at the verge of Park street but his number; any figure un. Lane, and those lying between St der fifty, for example, in Piccadilly, James's Street and the Great Park, and you are ruined for life. One side may be taken as examples. The of a street, as Arlington Street, shall people inhabiting this class of neighbe exclusive, the other no better than bourhoods are usually scions of regenteel; so that in fashion, as in poli- spectable, and distant connexions of tics, you must deliberate wisely and noble families, remarkably correct in well before you take a side.
their style of living and equipage, The East Indian, colonial, and but evidently of slender means ; howmerely wealthy circles, gather toge, ever, they boast this advantage, that ther at the hither-end of Portland an educated taste can do more in this Place, and diverge round the Regent's style of living with a thousand aPark, occupying those stately ter year, than vulgar opulence can with races, as new as their own families, ten times the revenue. Beyond the and, like themselves, exhibiting fewer necessary wants and requirements of evidences of good taste than of mag- genteel life, all superfluity, unless pificence. Harley Street, for ex sustained by exquisite taste, tends ample, is the headquarters of orien. rather to diminish than to increase tal nabobs--here the claret is poor respect. A pony-carriage, tastefully stuff, but Harley Street madeira bas appointed, shall excite the admiration passed into a proverb, and nowhere of the Ring, while a coach and six, are curries and mulligatawny given with outriders, shall, by the ostentain equal style. The natives here are tion of its extravagance, become a truly a respectable, praiseworthy body laughing-stock upon wheels. of men, and if it were not for the None understand these delicate desperate but unavailing efforts of niceties so well as your highly gentheir wives and daughters to lug them teel people.
THE JUNE GALE, 1841.
After a week in London, the time wall dingy, ho! ho!" We looked, at last arrived to betake ourselves to but nothing answering our expecta Blackwall on our way to Edinburgh, tion met our longing eyes ; though by the General Steam Navigation certainly up the reach there did come Company's ship the Clarence. Ac- something which, as it was no other cordingly, on Saturday the 5th of sort of boat known to the sons of men, June, we packed up our traps, put
we felt convinced must be a steam. two nurse maids and three children, boat; but still it carried its steam, as one only six months old, into a couple the saying is, with a difference. Inof cabs, and walked, accompanied by stead of paddle-wheels and paddleour spouse, to the Hungerford Stairs. boxes, to which custom has almost The journey commenced under evil reconciled the eye, this nondescript auspices ; every thing seemed to go crept up the river by the aid of a long wrong. The first sight that saluted upright iron bar, armed at the water us on reaching the river, was a Black- end with one single paddle, which it wall steamer puffing with all its jerked fore and aft at every motion, might towards Waterloo Bridge, and alternately with another at the other we had to wait a quarter of an hour side. The advantage of this apparabefore the next one started ; and even tus being, that it occupies very little then we had to be contented with a space in the vessel, and can be unvessel bound to Greenwich, trusting shipped in a very short space of time, to our own ingenuity to find our way a patent has been taken out for it to across. All these delays were doubly be applied in aid of sailing vessels, provoking on the present occasion, as and it plies between Greenwich and we had determined to have a pleasant Blackwall, to act, we suppose, as its party by way of a finish to the week's own advertisement. We got all our dissipation ; and had agreed to meet impedimenta fairly shipped, and away some friends at Lovegrove's, at a we careered down the river on board white-bait dinner, before we embark our diminutive steamer, which kept ed. By the time we reached London tossing its long shanks about like a Bridge it was already past the ap- deranged spider, and were safely pointed hour; it began to rain ; the landed on the Brunswick wharf, where boat was full of cockneys, male and we saw resting on its shadow the female, who were talking and making stately Clarence. It was now seven love after their kind; and we began o'clock; our friends were ready to to fear that we should come in at the receive us ; the waiters in solemn proend of the feast, which, though a good cession, to the number of six, walked deal better than the beginning of a into the room, each bearing a miracle fray, is still not by any means desir of the culinary art, which Mrs Heable on its own account. Well, on
mans has unaccountably omitted to we went through groves of masts, celebrate in her Treasures of the Deep : hissing and spluttering to the best of a few champagne corks flew out as if our ability, till the noble hospital re. by accident, and at seven we had forceived us on its majestic quay. But alas gotten all the miseries not only of our for the white-bait, the water-souché, journey from London to Blackwall, the salmon and cels, of which we had but of our journey through life. a very vivid presentiment! there was There are few pleasanter things in no steam-boat to be seen to waft us this weary world than a white-bait to the haven of our hopes. Wherries dinner at Blackwall. The view from and Thames boats in general, we hold the window is like a great peristrephic in utter abhorrence as nothing less panorama of ancient Tyre; or rather, than hearses in disguise ; and there- which is a far grander and nobler fore we determined, at whatever ex- thing, it is a great moving panorama pense of time and hunger, to wait till of the watery approach to modern à more eligible conveyance should London, where countless multitudes appear.
At last a bluff voice beside of ships—like the marriage procession us whispered, in the tone of a mode- of Aladdin--pass on in shining rows, rate north-easter, “ Here's the Black- to pour the wealth of Ormus and Ind
into the world's treasure-house. Here Gravesend, while innumerable white come sbips from the Pacific, that bave waves were boiling and roaring at the tossed and tumbled round Cape Horn; Nore, and a tremendous north-wester there's a huge brig from the Baltic; walloping the German Ocean, till it and here's an immense three-master howled like a French thief at the from the city of palaces in “Gunga's whipping-post ? But there we all sacred tide. And at this very mo.
were, as snug as possible, with the ment that these are placidly floating certainty-so we thought-of reachhomeward-loaded with the rewards ing Edinburgh at five o'clock on of skill and industry-a vision rises Monday. There certainly was before us of the sight we saw a little good deal of reaching before that week ago, of the meteor flag waving time, but Edinburgh did not cast up from the mast- heads of all those glo till after many days. Small knots rious men-of-war at Portsmouth and formed themselves round the tables in Spithead. Gentlemen, here's ships, the saloon, either to consolidate old colonies, and commerce, and the three friendships among the passengers kingdoms, against the world!
thus casually thrown together, or to But it is a most distressing fact that make new ones. The stewards kept a white bait dinner cannot last for bustling about, carrying whisky and ever. People began to pull out their biscuits, and hot water and cheese, to watches and make ominous enquiries the various "numbers;" wbile carpet about conveyances back to town. In bags, and dressing cases, and small the mean time the plot was evidently portmanteaus were hurried into the thickening at the Brunswick wharf- cabins ; and the stewardess — a nice carts, coaches, and all manner of little merry-faced woman— flitted vehicles had been sounding on the across the doorway, loaded with silk rough stones, with redoubled activity, cloaks and wicker baskets. Gradufor the last hour; whistling, of a na ally the light of conviviality burned ture unknown to birds and landsmen, low-exclamations were heard in vahad been piercing the dull ear of the rious tones of voice, “ Well, I think drowsy night for a long while; and I shall turn in,"--group after group we had barely time for a cup of coffee disappeared, and we went up on deck and its indispensable chasse, when a to take a last look at the grand river bell frightened the isle (of Dogs) and starry sky, before we wrapped ourfrom its propriety; an unearthly selves into the wooden strait-waistscreaming of steam, as it forced its coat which people facetiously call a way up the narrow chimney, and gentleman's berth. Great lines of grey hooted and whizzed at the top of it, clouds were sailing across the heaven to the alarm of all peaceably.disposed a sharp whistling sound was ausailing vessels; and a multitude of dible among the cordage at the top other sounds too distinctly prognos. of the masts, and we detected the tic of an immediate flitting, hurried captain looking upwards every now us to the pier without further delay; and then, and walking at an increased and as a very few minutes sufficed to pace along the deck.
We thought satisfy us that all was right, children he was, perhaps, an astronomer; and in bed and asleep, and luggage all sitting down on the grating over the safe in the hold, we felt quite delight- cabin window, we lived over again the ed with our situation ; and after a few glorious week we had spent in the convulsive strains, the great vessel great city. We saw before us our moved slowly from her moorings, and countryman Lauder's admirable pice dropped down the now darkened river, ture of the Trial of Effie Deans, which faintly smoking, slightly heaving, and we had seen on Wednesday in the dimly seen-like the ghost of a manu Exhibition. We recalled the careful factory.
looks of Jeanie, bending over the inAll mortals do not wear quizzing- sensible father, and the agonized atglasses or spectacles, and yet all titude of the beautiful Lily of St mortals are short-sighted - beyond Leonard's, striving in vain to reach the skill of Wardrop or the magni- the broken-hearted old man. A fine fiers of Dollond-or what could have picture painted by a great artist, who accounted for the satisfied appearance is also a great poet-only handling a of every one on board, as long as we brush instead of a pen—for there is were on the smooth water west of great poetry in the telling of the
story. We recalled, no less vividly, the difficult achievement of getting the sculptured forms of two beautiful into bed; and with our head filled children-a young boy trying to win with a confused jumble of all we had over an offended little girl--the gem been meditating before, with Effie of the whole statue gallery of the Ex. Deans, and Rubini, and the two stahibition, and superior in gentleness tues by Mr Parke, singing, “ Non ti and beauty to Chantrey's Sleeping slidar O misera," we sank into a proCherubs in Litchfield Cathedral. We found and comfortable repose. brought before us, not less vividly, At eight o'clock next morning we the majesty of the colossal figure of looked out of our dormitory, and Mr Teonant-a most majestic imper, thought we were spectators of a field sonation of deep thought and dignified of battle. Gentlemen in all sorts of worth—and felt not a little proud picturesque attitudes and unstudied that the creator of those two noble costumes, were spread helplessly along works was another of our country. the floor; while one or two, who remen-Parke. We, after that, went tained the perpendicular, were so unto the Opera ; and as we got opposite steady in their movements-toppling Halderman “ Armers,” we heard the over, first to one side, then to the clear notes of Grisi and Madame other---staggering among the recumLoewe, united to each other by the in- bent bodies of their companions, and imitable tones of Rubini, in the trio making such desperate efforts all the in the first act of the Don Giovanni while to stand still, that it almost apProtegga il giusto cielo. Then we peared as if those staid and respectable heard Persiani and Lablache, and individuals wereendeavouring to dance again felt some ticklings of vanity Jim Crow for our amusement. How. that we should have listened to an ever, we participated too fully in the opera, sung by the six finest per. unsteadiness under which they were formers in Europe-Lablache, Tam labouring, to remain long under so burini, Rubini, Grisi, Loewe, and pleasing a delusion. There are no Persiani. At last, in the course of words capable of a greater variety of our reminiscences, just about oppo. deep tragic intonation than “Steward, site Gravesend, we went again to the bring the bucket." All men under Opera House, and heard Mademoi the excitement of real feelings, are selle Rachel in the Horace of the more effective than the most consumgrand Corneille - a clever impas- mate actors. We accordingly felt as sioned actress, able in some degree to if we were surrounded by Keans and get over the monotonous drawl of the Kembles; but our friend, the steward, French alexandrines, and the insup- exhibited a pattern of equanimity, and portable dulness of the individual command over his feelings, worthy of part, Camille--and therefore a wo a Roman father, and seemed to have man of genius; but as to dignity or no more sympathy for the agonized the expression of the tragic passions, wretches before him, than if they had negatur. It may, perhaps, be French been so many pigs. It almost appassion ; but, to our plain ears, it peared as if he disputed the right of sounded like very fine declamation any man to be sick in June. There by a young lady in a passion of a very were no preparations for such an undifferent kind. We advise all per. called-for occurrence, and the buckets sons unprovided with a wife to be so feelingly invoked were as intractable ware of any young lady with the tre as the spirits of Owen Glendower. mendous powers of scolding possessed The more they were called for, the by Miss Camille. We confess we more they did not come. The vessel, were neither surprised nor sorry to which was very high out of the water, see Horace junior put an end to her pitched and reeled, first from stem to vixenism and misery by a false stab stern, then from starboard to lar. with a tin dagger-if it had been a board, yawing, creaking, shrieking, pinch on the ear, we should have been and groaning in all her timbers, as if glad to see it real. After all these she had got into a position she did not recollections, a turn or two about the at all like; and from sheer curiosity to deck, and on enquiry if all was right discover what could be the meaning of in the ladies' cabin, we plunged into all the hullabaloo, we managed with the lower regions, and after sundry surprising dexterity to slip into our attempts to find our berth, performed clothes, and by dint of holding on by