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It may be as well also to state, for the information of those critics, who attack with the hope of being answered, and of being thereby brought into notice, that it is the rule of this Society to return no other answer to such assailants, than is contained in three words "Non curat Hippoclides," (meaning, in English, "Hippoclides does not care a fig,") which were spoken two thousand years ago by the first founder of Poco-curantism, and have ever since been adopted as the leading dictum of the sect.

THOMAS BROWN.

FABLE I.

THE DISSOLUTION OF THE HOLY ALLIANCE.

A DREAM.

I'VE had a dream that bodes no good

Unto the Holy Brotherhood.

I

may be wrong, but I confess

As far as it is right or lawful
For one, no conjurer, to guess-
It seems to me extremely awful.
Methought, upon the Neva's flood
A beautiful Ice Palace stood,

A dome of frost-work, on the plan
Of that once built by Empress Anne,*
Which shone by moonlight-as the tale is—
Like an Aurora Borealis.

In this said Palace, furnished all

And lighted as the best on land are,
I dreamt there was a splendid Ball,
Given by the Emperor Alexander,
To entertain with all due zeal,

Those holy gentlemen, who've shown a
Regard so kind for Europe's weal,

At Troppau, Laybach, and Verona.

The thought was happy-and designed
To hint how thus the human Mind
May, like the stream imprisoned there,
Be checked and chilled, till it can bear
The heaviest Kings, that ode or sonnet
E'er yet be-praised, to dance upon it.

And all were pleased, and cold, and stately,
Shivering in grand illumination-
Admired the superstructure greatly,

Nor gave one thought to the foundation.

* "It is well known that the Empress Anne built a palace of ice on the Neva, in 1740, which was fifty-two feet in length, and when illuminated had a surprising effect."-Pinkerton.

Much too the Czar himself exulted,

To all Plebeian fears a stranger,

For, Madame Krudener, when consulted,
Had pledged her word there was no danger.
So, on he capered, fearless quite,

Thinking himself extremely clever,
And waltzed away with all his might,

As if the Frost would last for ever.

Just fancy how a bard like me,

Who reverence monarchs, must have trembled, To see that goodly company,

At such a ticklish sport assembled.

Nor were the fears, that thus astounded
My loyal soul, at all unfounded-
For, lo! ere long, those walls so massy
Were seized with an ill-omened dripping,
And o'er the floors, now growing glassy,
Their Holinesses took to slipping.
The Czar, half through a Polonaise,

Could scarce get on for downright stumbling; And Prussia, though to slippery ways

So used, was cursedly near tumbling.

Yet still 'twas, who could stamp the floor most,
Russia and Austria 'mong the foremost.
And now, to an Italian air,

This precious brace would, hand in hand, go; Now-while old Louis, from his chair,

Intreated them his toes to spare

Called loudly out for a Fandango.

And a Fandango, 'faith, they had,
At which they all set to, like mad-

Never were Kings (though small the expense is
Of wit among their Excellencies)

So out of all their princely senses.

But, ah, that dance-that Spanish dance--
Scarce was the luckless strain begun,

When, glaring red, as 'twere a glance
Shot from an angry Southern sun,
A light through all the chambers flamed,
Astonishing old Father Frost,

Who, bursting into tears, exclaimed,

"A thaw, by Jove-we're lost, we're lost!

Run, France-a second Waterloo

Is come to drown you-sauve qui peut!"

Why, why will monarchs caper so
In palaces without foundations ?-
Instantly all was in a flow,

Crowns, fiddles, sceptres, decorations-
Those Royal Arms, that looked so nice,

Cut out in the resplendent ice-
Those Eagles, handsomely provided

With double heads for double dealings-
How fast the globes and sceptres glided
Out of their claws on all the ceilings!
Proud Prussia's double bird of prey
Tame as a spatch cock, slunk away;
While-just like France herself, when she
Proclaims how great her naval skill is—
Poor Louis' drowning fleur-de-lys
Imagined themselves water-lilies.

And not alone rooms, ceilings, shelves,
But still more fatal execution-
The Great Legitimates themselves
Seemed in a state of dissolution.
The indignant Czar-when just about
To issue a sublime Ukase,
"Whereas all light must be kept out "-
Dissolved to nothing in its blaze.
Next Prussia took his turn to melt,
And, while his lips illustrious felt
The influence of this southern air,

Some word, like "Constitution"-long
Congealed in frosty silence there-
Came slowly thawing from his tongue.
While Louis, lapsing by degrees,
And sighing out a faint adieu
To truffles, salmis, toasted cheese
And smoking fondus, quickly grew,
Himself, into a fondu too;-
Or like that goodly King they make
Of sugar for a Twelfth-night cake,
When, in some urchin's mouth, alas,
It melts into a shapeless mass!

In short, I scarce could count a minute,
Ere the bright dome, and all within it,
Kings, Fiddlers, Emperors, all were gone-
And nothing now was seen or heard
But the bright river, rushing on,

Happy as an enfranchised bird,
And prouder of that natural ray,
Shining along its chainless way-
More proudly happy thus to glide

In simple grandeur to the sea,
Than when, in sparkling fetters tied,
'Twas decked with all that kingly pride
Could bring to light its slavery!

Such is my dream-and, I confess,
I tremble at its awfulness.

That Spanish dance-that southern beam-
But I say nothing-there's my dream-
And Madame Krudener, the she prophet,
May make just what she pleases of it.

FABLE II.

THE LOOKING-GLASSES.

PROEM.

WHERE Kings have been by mob-elections
Raised to the Throne, 'tis strange to see
What different and what odd perfections
Men have required in Royalty.

Some, liking monarchs large and plumpy,
Have chosen their Sovereigns by the weight-
Some wished them tall, some thought your dumpy,
Dutch-built, the true Legitimate.*

The Easterns in a Prince, 'tis said,
Prefer what's called a jolter-head:
The Egyptians weren't at all particular,

So that their Kings had not red hair—
This fault not even the greatest stickler
For the blood royal well could bear.
A thousand more such illustrations
Might be adduced from various nations.
But, 'mong the many tales they tell us,

Touching the acquired or natural right
Which some men have to rule their fellows,
There's one, which I shall here recite :-

FABLE.

There was a land-to name the place
Is neither now my wish nor duty-
Where reigned a certain Royal race,
By right of their superior beauty.

What was the cut legitimate

Of these great persons' chins and noses,
By right of which they ruled the state,
No history I have seen discloses.

But so it was-a settled case

Some Act of Parliament, passed snugly,

Had voted them a beauteous race,

And all their faithful subjects ugly.

*The Goths had a law to choose always a short, thick man for their King.— Munster, Cosmog. lib. iii. p. 164.

"In a Prince Jolter-head is invaluable."-Oriental Field Sports.

As rank, indeed, stood high or low,

Some change it made in visual organs; Your Peers were decent-Knights, so soBut all your common people, gorgons!

Of course, if any knave had hinted

That the King's nose was turned awry,
Or that the Queen (God save us !) squinted-
The judges doomed that knave to die.

But rarely things like this occurred,

The people to their King were duteous,

And took it, on his Royal word,

That they were frights, and He was beauteous.

The cause whereof, among all classes,
Was simply this-these island elves
Had never yet seen looking-glasses,

And, therefore, did not know themselves.

Sometimes, indeed, their neighbours' faces
Might strike them as more full of reason,
More fresh than those in certain places-
But, Lord, the very thought was treason!

Besides, howe'er we love our neighbour,
And take his face's part, 'tis known
We ne'er so much in earnest labour,

As when the face attacked's our own.

So, on they went-the crowd believing-
(As crowds well-governed always do)
Their rulers, too, themselves deceiving-
So old the joke, they thought it true.

But jokes, we know, if they too far go,
Must have an end-and so, one day,
Upon that coast there was a cargo
Of looking-glasses cast away.

'Twas said, some Radicals, somewhere,
Had laid their wicked heads together,
And forced that ship to founder there,—
While some believe it was the weather.

However this might be, the freight
Was landed without fees or duties;
And from that hour historians date

The downfall of the Race of Beauties.

The looking-glasses got about,

And grew so common through the land, That scarce a tinker could walk out, Without a mirror in his hand.

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