Слике страница
PDF
ePub

*

"Dark clouds his fable Chariot do surround,
"And the dull Steeds stalk o'er the melancholy round."

Of Prince Arthur's Soldiers drinking.

"While rich Burgundian wine, and bright Cham"paign,

"Chafe from their minds the terrors of the main."

(whence we alfo learn, that Burgundy and Champaign make a man on fhore despise a storm at fea.)

Of the Almighty encamping his Regiments.

† " He funk a vaft capacious deep, "Where he his liquid Regiments does keep, "Thither the waves file off; and make their way, "To form the mighty body of the sea;

"Where they encamp, and in their station ftand, "Entrench'd in Works of Rock, and Lines of Sand."

Of two Armies on the point of engaging.

"Yon' armies are the Cards which both must play; "At least come off a Saver if you may :

"Throw boldly at the Sum the Gods have fet;
"Thefe on your fide will all their fortunes bet."

All perfectly agreeable to the present Customs and beft
Fafhions of our Metropolis.

But the principal branch of the Alamode is the PRURIENT, a Style greatly advanced and honoured of late by the practice of perfons of the first Quality; and by the encouragement of the Ladies, not unfuccefffully introduced even into the Drawing-room. Indeed its incredible Progrefs and Conquefts may be compared to thofe of the great Sefoftris, and are every where

*Pr. Arthur, p. 16. Lee, Sophon.

† Blackm. Pf. civ. p. 261.

1

known by the fame Marks, the images of the genital
parts of men or women. It confifts wholly of meta-
phors drawn from two moft fruitful fources or fprings,
the very Bathos of the human body, that is to fay,
* and
Hiatus magnus lachrymabilis.

And felling of Bargains and double Entendre, and K.βίρισμος and υλιδισμος, all derived from the faid fources.

4. The FINICAL Style,

which confifts of the moft curious, affected, mincing metaphors, and partakes of the alamode.

*

As this, of a brook dryed by the Sun.
"Won by the fummer's importuning ray,
"Th' eloping ftream did from her channel stray,
"And with enticing fun-beams ftole away."

Of an eafy Death.

"When watchful Death fhall on his harvest look,
"And fee thee ripe with age, invite the hook;
"He'll gently cut thy bending Stalk, and thee

66

Lay kindly in the Grave, his Granary."

Of Trees in a Storm.

}

"Oaks whofe extended arms the winds defy,
"The tempeft fees their strength, and fighs, and

[ocr errors][merged small]

Of Water fimmering over the Fire.

"The sparkling flames raife water to a Smile,

"Yet the pleas'a liquor pines, and leffens all the

"while."

*Blackm. Job, p. 26.

+ Ibid. p. 23.

Denn.

Anon. Tonf. Misc. Part vi. p. 224.

5. LASTLY, I fhall place the CUMBROUS, which moves heavily under a load of metaphors, and draws after it a long train of words. And the BUSKIN, OF Stately, frequently and with great felicity mixed with the former. For as the first is the proper engine to deprefs what is high, fo is the fecond to raise what is base and low to a ridiculous Vifibility: When both these can be done at once, then is the Bathos in perfection ; as when a man is fet with his head downward, and his breech upright, his degradation is complete: One end of him is as high as ever, only that end is the wrong one. Will not every true lover of the Profund be delighted to behold the most vulgar and low actions of life exalted in the following manner?

Who knocks at the Door?

"For whom thus rudely pleads my loud-tongu'd 66 gate,

"That he may enter ?"

See who is there?

* Advance the fringed curtains of thy eyes, "And tell me who comes yonder.”

Shut the Door.

"The wooden guardian of our privacy 66 Quick on its axle turn.”

66

Bring me my Cloaths."

Bring me what Nature, taylor to the Bear, "To Man himself deny'd: She gave me cold, "But would not give me Cloaths.'

* Temp.

[ocr errors]
[ocr errors]

Light the Fire.

Bring forth fome remnant of Promethean theft,
Quick to expand th' inclement air congeal'd
"By Boreas' rude breath."-

Snuff the Candle.

"Yon' Luminary amputation needs,
"Thus fhall you fave its half-extinguish'd life."

Open the Letter.

"Wax! render up thy truft."

[ocr errors]

Uncork the Bottle, and chip the Bread.

Apply thine engine to the spungy door, "Set Bacchus from his glaffy prison free,

"And ftrip white Ceres of her nut-brown coat."

[ocr errors]

CHA P. XIII.

A Project for the Advancement of the Bathos.

HUS have I (my dear Countrymen), with incre

THUS

dible pains and diligence, difcovered the hidden fources of the Bathos, or, as I may fay, broke open the Abyffes of this Great Deep. And having now established good and wholefome Laws, what remains but that all true moderns, with their utmost might, do proceed to put the fame in execution? In order whereto, I think I fhall, in the fecond place, highly deferve of my Country, by propofing fuch a Scheme, as may facilitate this great end.

*Theob. Double Falfhood.

As our number is confeffedly far fuperior to that of the enemy, there feems nothing wanting but Unanimity among ourselves. It is therefore humbly offered, that all and every individual of the Bathos do enter into a firm affociation, and incorporate into One regular Body, whereof every member, even the meanest, will fome-way contribute to the fupport of the whole; in like manner, as the weakest reeds, when joined in one bundle, become infrangible. To which end our Art ought to be put upon the fame foot with other Arts of this Age. The vast unprovement of modern manufactures arifeth from their being divided into feveral branches, and parcelled out to feveral trades: For instance, in Clock-making, one artist makes the balance, another the spring, another the crown-wheels, a fourth the cafe, and the principal workman puts all together: To this oeconomy we owe the perfection of our modern watches, and doubtlefs we also might that of our modern Poetry and Rhetorick, were the feveral parts branched out in the like manner.

Nothing is more evident than that divers perfons, no other way remarkable, have each a strong difpofition to the formation of fome particular Trope or Figure. Ariftotle faith, that the Hyperbole is an ornament fit for young Men of Quality; accordingly we find in those Gentlemen a wonderful propenfity towards it, which is marvellously improved by Travelling: Soldiers alfo and Seamen are very happy in the fame Figure. The' Periphrafis or Circumlocution is the peculiar talent of Country Farmers: the Proverb and Apologue of old men at their clubs; the Ellipfis or Speech by half words of Ministers and Politicians; the Apofiopefis of Courtiers; the Litotes or Diminution of Ladies, Whifperers, and Backbiters; and the Anadiplofis of common Criers and Hawkers, who, by redoubling the fame words, per

« ПретходнаНастави »