But Mr. Neale's order was never performed, because the Executors durft not adminifter.

Nor was the Birth of this great man unattended with Prodigies: He himself has often told me, that on the night before he was born, Mrs. Scriblerus dreamed the was brought to-bed of a huge Ink-horn, out of which iffued feveral large ftreams of ink, as it had been a fountain. This dream was by her husband thought to fignify, that the child fhould prove a very voluminous Writer. Likewife a * Crab-tree that had been hitherto barren, appeared on a fudden laden with a vast quantity of Crabs: This fign alfo the old gentleman imagined to be a prognoftic of the acuteness of his Wit. A great fwarm of Wafps played round his cradle without hurting him, but were very troublesome to all in the room befides: This feemed a certain presage of the effects of his Satire. A Dunghill was seen within the fpace of one night to be covered all over with Mūßrooms: This fome interpreted to promise the infant great fertility of Fancy, but no long duration to his works but the Father was of another opinion.

s;

But what was of all moft wonderful, was a thing that feemed a monftrous Fowl, which just then dropt through the fky-light, near his wife's apartment. It had a large body, two little disproportioned wings, a prodigious tail, but no head. As its colour was white, he took it at first fight for a Swan, and was concluding his fon would be a Poet: but on a nearer view, he perceived it to be fpeckled with black, in the form of letters; and that it was indeed a Paper-kite which had broke its leafh by the impetuofity of the wind. His back was armed with the Art Military, his belly was filled with Phyfic, his wings wese the wings of Quarleş + Plato, Lucan, &c.

* Virgil's Laurel. Donat.

and Withers, the several Nodes of his voluminous tail were diverfified with several branches of Science; where the Doctor beheld with great joy a knot of Logic, a knot of Metaphyfic, a knot of Cafuiftry, a knot of Polemical Divinity, and a knot of Common Law, with a Lanthorn of Jacob Behmen.

And the next bed with two

There went a report in the family, that, as foon as he was born, he uttered the voice of nine several animals: he cried like a Calf, bleated like a Sheep, chattered like a Magpye, grunted like a Hog, neighed like a Foal, croaked like a Raven, mewed like a Cat, gabbled like a Goofe, and brayed like an Afs. morning he was found playing in his Owls, which came down the chimney. His Father was greatly rejoiced at all these figns, which betokened the variety of his Eloquence, and the extent of his Learning; but he was more particularly pleased with the last, as it nearly resembled what happened at the birth of Homer *.

CHA P. II.

The Speech of Cornelius over his Son, at the Hour of his Birth.

NO fooner was the cry of the infant heard, but the old gentleman rushed into the room, and fnatching it into his arms, examined every limb with attention. He was infinitely pleafed to find, that the child had the wart of Cicero, the wry neck of Alexander, knots upon his legs like Marius, and one of them fhorter than

* Vid. Euftath. in Odyff. 1. xii. ex Alex. Paphio, et Leo. Allat. de patr. Hom. pag. 45.

the other, like Agefilaus. The good Cornelius alfo hoped he would come to stammer like Demofthenes, in order to be as eloquent; and in time arrive at many other defects of famous men. He held the child fo long, that the Midwife, grown out of all patience, fnatched it from his arms in order to fwaddle it. "Swaddle

" him! (quoth he) far be it from me to submit to such "a pernicious Custom! Is not my fon a Man? and is "not Man the Lord of the Universe? Is it thus you "ufe this Monarch at his first arrival in his dominions, "to manacle and fhackle him hand and foot? Is this "what you call to be free-born? If you have no regard to his natural Liberty, at least have some to his "natural Faculties. Behold with what agility he spread"eth his Toes, and moveth them with as great variety "as his Fingers! a power which, in the small circle of

a year, may be totally abolished, by the enormous "confinement of shoes and stockings. His ears (which "other animals turn with great advantage towards "the fonorous object) may by the miniftry of fome "accurfed Nurse, for ever lie flat and immoveable. Not "fo the Ancients, they could move them at pleasure, "and accordingly are often described arrectis auribus.” "What a devil! (quoth the Midwife;) would you have "6 your fon move his ears like a Drill ?" "Yes, fool "(faith he), why should he not have the perfection of a "Drill, or of any other animal?" Mrs. Scriblerus, who lay all this while fretting at her husband's discourse, at last broke out to this purpose: "My dear, I have "had many difputes with you upon this fubject before "I was a month gone: We have but one child, and "cannot afford to throw him away upon experiments. "I'll have my boy bred up like other gentlemen, at "home, and always under my own eye." All the Goffips, with one voice, cried, Ay, ay; but Cornelius

broke out in this manner: "What, bred at home! “Have I taken all this pains for a creature that is to " live the inglorious life of a Cabbage, to fuck the nu"tritious juices from the spot where he was first plant"ed? No; to perambulate this terraqueous Globe is "too small a Range; were it permitted, he should at "least make the Tour of the whole fyftem of the Sun. "Let other Mortals pore upon Maps, and swallow the

legends of lying travellers: the fon of Cornelius "fhall make his own Legs his Compasses; with those "he fhall meafure Continents, Iflands, Capes, Bays, Streights, and Ifthmufes: He shall himself take the "altitude of the highest mountains, from the peak of "Derby to the peak of Teneriff; when he has vifited "the top of Taurus, Imaus, Caucafus, and the famous "Ararat, where Noah's Ark first moored, he may take "a flight view of the fnowy Riphæans, nor would I "have him neglect Athos and Olympus, renowned for

poetical fictions. Thofe that vomit fire will deferve a more particular attention: I will therefore have him "observe with great care Vefuvius, Ætna, the burning "mountain of Java, but chiefly Hecla, the greatest "rarity in the Northern Regions. Then he may like"wife contemplate the wonders of the Mephitick cave. "When he has dived into the bowels of the earth, and

furveyed the works of Nature under ground, and "instructed himself fully in the nature of Volcanoes, "Earthquakes, Thunders, Tempests, and Hurricanes, "I hope he will bless the world with a more exact furvey of the deferts of Arabia and Tartary, than as yet 66 we are able to obtain: Then will I have him cross "the feven Gulphs, measure the currents in the fifteen "famous Streights, and fearch for thofe fountains of "fresh water, that are at the bottom of the Ocean.” -At thefe laft words Mrs. Scriblerus fell into a trem

bling The defcription of this terrible Scene made too violent an impreffion upon a woman in her condition, and threw her into a strong hysteric fit; which might have proved dangerous, if Cornelius had not been pushed out of the room by the united force of the women.

CHA P. III.

Shewing what befel the Doctor's Son and his Shield, on the Day of the Chrift'ning.

THE day of the Chrift'ning being come, and the houfe filled with Goffips, the Levity of whose Converfation fuited but ill with the Gravity of Dr. Cornelius, he caft about how to pass this day more agreeably to his Character; that is to fay, not without fome Profitable Conference, nor wholly without obfervance of fome Ancient Custom.

He remembered to have read in Theocritus, that the Cradle of Hercules was a Shield: and being poffeffed of an antique Buckler, which he held as a moft ineftimable Relick, he determined to have the infant laid therein, and in that manner brought into the Study, to be shown to certain learned men of his acquaintance.

The regard he had for this Shield, had caused him formerly to compile a Differtation concerning it", proving from the feveral properties, and particularly the colour of the Ruft, the exact chronology thereof.

With this treatise, and a moderate fupper, he proposed to entertain his Guests; though he had also another defign, to have their affistance in the calculation of his Son's Nativity.

*See the Differtation on Dr. Woodward's Shield.