Thus fnatching his hat, he brush'd off like the wind, And the porter and eatables follow'd behind. Left alone to reflect, having emptied my shelf, And "nobody with me at sea but myself;"* Tho' I could not help thinking my gentleman hafty, Yet Johnson, and Burke, and a good venifon pafty, Were things that I never dislik'd in my life, Tho' clogg'd with a coxcomb, and Kitty his wife: So next day, in due splendour to make my approach, I drove to his door in my own hackney-coach. When come to the place where we all were to dine, (A chair-lumber'd closet just twelve feet by nine) My friend bade me welcome, but struck me quite dumb With tidings that Johnson and Burke would not come; "For I knew it," he cry'd, "both eternally fail, "The one with his speeches, and t'other with Thrale; "But no matter, I'll warrant we'll make up the party "With two full as clever, and ten times as hearty: "The one is a Scotchman, the other a Jew"They both of them merry, and authors like you; "The one writes the Snarler, the other the Scourge; "Some think he writes Cinna-he owns to Panurge." While thus he defcrib'd them by trade and by name, They enter'd, and dinner was ferv'd as they came. At the top a fry'd liver and bacon were seen, At the bottom was tripe, in a swinging tureen; At the fides there was spinnage and pudding made hot; In the middle a place where the pasty-was not. Now, my Lord, as for tripe, it's my utter averfion, And your bacon I hate like a Turk or a Perfian; * See the letters that paffed between his Royal Highness Henry Duke of Cumberland and Lady Grosvenor-1769. So there I fat ftuck, like a horse in a pound, But what vex'd me most, was that d-'d Scottish rogue, "Pray, a flice of your liver, though may I be curst, "But I've eat of your tripe, till I'm ready to burst." "The tripe!" quoth the Jew, with his chocolate cheek, "I could dine on this tripe feven days in a week: "I like these here dinners fo pretty and finall; 66 But your friend there the doctor eats nothing at all.” "O-ho!" quoth my friend, "he'll come on in a trice, "He's keeping a corner for fomething that's nice: "There's a pafty"—"A pafty!" repeated the Jew; "I don't care if I keep a corner for't too." "What the de'il, mon, a pafty!" re-echo'd the Scot; "Though splitting, I'll still keep a corner for that." "We'll all keep a corner," the lady cry'd out; "We'll all keep a corner,” was echo'd about. While thus we refolv'd, and the pafty delay'd, With looks that quite petrify'd, enter'd the maid! A vifage fo fad, and fo pale with affright, Wak'd Priam in drawing his curtains by night! But we quickly found out-for who could mistake herThat she came with fome terrible news from the baker; And fo it fell out, for that negligent sloven Had fhut out the pasty on shutting his oven! Sad Philomel thus-but let fimilies dropAnd, now that I think on't, the ftory may ftop. To be plain, my good lord, it's but labour misplac'd, To fend fuch good verfes to one of your tafte ; You've got an odd something-a kind of difcerning- At least it's your temper, as very well known, A DESCRIPTION OF AN AUTHOR'S BED-CHAMBER. WHERE the Red-Lion ftaring o'er the way, With beer and milk-arrears the frieze was scor'd, THE DOUBLE TRANSFORMATION. A TALE. SECLUDED from domestic ftrife, Made him the happiest man alive— Such pleasures, unalloy'd with care, Could Cupid's shaft at length transfix Oh! had the archer ne'er come down Or Flavia been content to stop At triumphs in a Fleet-street shop! Her presence banish'd all his peace: The raptures of the bridal night? Need we intrude on hallow'd ground, Or draw the curtains, clos'd around? THE DOUBLE TRANSFORMATION. And, tho' fhe felt his vifage rough, The honey-moon like lightning flew— 'Tis true fhe drefs'd with modern grace— But when at home, at board or bed, To be a dull domestic friend? Could any curtain-lectures bring To decency fo fine a thing? In fhort, by night, 'twas fits or fretting- Jack fuck'd his pipe, and often broke |