Welcome, uncle! You are late, but you can have a front seat."
ASTONISHED ENTHUSIAST (who has climbed to the top to hammer in his nail): "Mein Gott! His head is empty except for a gramophone! "
THE KAISER (to His Six Sons): "Hurrah for 'fresh and joyous' war! Hurrah for the docile folk who send their sons to butchery to keep mine intact! Hurrah for the last slaves in the civilized world!"