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them for a good while cooking fomething over the fire. I at firft fuppofed they were affifting their mother; but little Dick informed me in a whisper, that they were making a wash for the face. Washes of all kinds I had a natural antipathy to; for I knew that inftead of mending the complexion they fpoiled it. I therefore approached my chair by fly degrees to the fire, and grafping the poker, as if it wanted mending, feemingly by accident, overturned the whole compofition, and it was too late to begin another.

CHA P.

CHAP. VII.

A town wit defcribed. The dulleft fellows may learn to be comical for a night or

two.

W

HEN the morning arrived on

which we were to entertain our young landlord, it may be eafily fuppofed what provifions were exhausted to make an appearance. It may also be conjectured that my wife and daughters expanded their gayeft plumage upon this occafion. Mr. Thornhill came with a couple of friends, his chaplain and feeder. The fervants, who were numerous, he politely ordered to the next alehoufe: but my wife, in the triumph of her heart, infifted on entertaining them all; for which, by the bye, our family was pinched for three weeks after. As Mr. Burchell had hinted to us the day before, that he was making fome propofals of marriage to Mifs Wil

mot,

mot, my fon George's former mistress, this a good deal damped the heartiness of his reception but accident, in fome measure, relieved our embarraffinent; for one of the company happening to mention her name, Mr. Thornhill obferved with an oath, that he never knew any thing more abfurd than calling fuch a fright a beauty : For, ftrike me ugly,' continued he, if I should not find as much pleasure in choofing my mistress by the information of a lamp under the clock of St. Dunf 'tan's.' At this he laughed, and fo did we:-the jefts of the rich are ever fuccefsful. Olivia too could not avoid whif pering, loud enough to be heard, that he had an infinite fund of humour.

After dinner, I began with my ufual toast, the Church; for this I was thanked by the chaplain, as he faid the church was. the only mistrefs of his affections.• Come tell us honeftly, Frank,' faid the Squire, with his ufual archnefs, fuppofe the church, your present mistress, dreft

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in lawn fleeves, on one hand, and Miss Sophia, with no lawn about her, on the other, which would you be for?' both, to be fure,' cried the chaplain.Right, Frank,' cried the 'Squire,

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may this glass fuffocate me but a fine girl is worth all the priestcraft in the creation. For what are tythes and tricks but an impofition, all a confounded imposture, and I can prove it.'--' I wish you would,' cried my fon Mofes,

and

I think, continued he, that I should ⚫ be able to answer you. Very well, Sir,' cried the 'Squire, who immediately fmoaked him, and winking on the rest of the company, to prepare us for the fport, if you are for a cool argument upon that fubject, I am ready to accept the challenge. And firft, whether are you for managing it analogically, or dialogically?' I am for managing it < rationally,' cried Mofes, quite happy at being permitted to difpute. again,' cried the 'Squire, and firftly, of the firft. I hope you'll not deny that

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that, I can go no further.'

grant me Why,'

returned Mofes, I think I may grant that, and make the beft of it.'

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I hope you'll grant

that a part is lefs than the whole.' I • grant that too,' cried Mofes, it is but juft and reasonable.'--' I hope,' cried the 'Squire, you will not deny, that the two angles of a triangle are equal to two right ones. Nothing can be plainer,' returned t'other, and looked round with his ufual importance. Very well, cried the 'Squire, fpeaking very quick, the premises being thus fettled, I proceed to obferve, that the concatenation • of felf existences, proceeding in a reciprocal duplicate ratio, naturally produce ⚫ a problematical dialogifm, which in fome measure proves that the effence of fpirituality may be referred to the fecond predicable.'—— Hold, hold,' cried the other, I deny that: Do you think I can thus tamely fubmit to fuch heterodox

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