SCENE.

Parlour of an Inn. Sideboard, with glasses decanters, &c. Small table, with inkstand and account, books.

Enter SUSAN.

Susan. What a shame to make me rub these glasses all over again. I am sure they look bright enough. (Takes up a glass and wipes it with a cloth she has in her hand.) Let me see, I have been chambermaid now for just a week; it is,

certainly, more lively than a prviate house, but there is a good bit to do. (Loud ring heard.) My goodness, what a peal!

[Exit hastily.

Enter LANDLADY, with key basket in her hand. Seats herself by the table.

Land. Well, I have got a full house now. Oh, dear! no one knows the cares and responsibilities that weigh down the shoulders of the landlady of an inn like this-charmingly situated by the sea side, and much frequented in summer time. Beds to let, good accommodation for man and horse. It is almost too much for a single woman. I think I shall be obliged to take a partner. There's that Timothy, who has been with me so long, and been such a good waiter, and always given such satisfaction, he thinks of nothing now but talking to the new chambermaid, and I am in agonies every day for fear my cook should give warning. I know they want her at "The Red Cow," but I am determined they shall not have her, even if I have to double her wages. (Looks over the account books.)

Enter SUSAN.

Susan. Oh! if you please, ma'am, Number Eight is in such a passion, he declares there is a whole cart-load of cayenne pepper in his soup, and a sack of chilis. He says he is as near choked as he can be. He did cough and he says he will have

splutter so, ma'am, you've no idea, and

us all taken up in a bundle and carried before the magistrate for conspiracy.

Land. O dear, O dear, unfortunate woman that I am! I would not have had Number Eight offended for ever so much; he pays so well, and now I dare say he will go over to "The Red Cow!" It must be cook's fault; tell her to come here immediately. [Exit CHAMBERMAID.

Land. What can she have been thinking of? she knows Number Eight is so very particular.

Enter SUSAN.

Susan. Please, ma'am, cook says she is in the middle of a pudding, so she can't come.

Land. Am I mistress, or am I not? if she can't leave her pudding, she must bring it with her.

[Exit SUSAN. Land. Can't come, indeed! she is getting mighty independent. I see I must be master as well as mistress.

Enter Cook, with sleeves tucked up, marks of flour on her hands and arms, brown holland or large white apron. Has a pan and wooden spoon, with which she stirs vigorously all the time she is in the room.

Land. Yes, cook, I do. Number Eight is making great complaints about there being too much pepper in his soup.

Cook. (Leaves off stirring in surprise.) Too much pepper! well, I never!! what an insult!!! (stirs again, quickly) as if I did not always put the right quantities of everything into everything; my Mulligatawney soup, too, which has always been considered unapproachable by anybody.

Land. I should think so, if you make it too hot.

Cook. (Indignantly.) Too hot, indeed! too good, more likely; if Number Eight can't eat Mulligatawney, he shouldn't order it. It was only yesterday that the India gentleman, in Number One, declared it was perfection, and I should think he ought to know; but it is of no consequence-I make no more soup in this house-I give warning -I go without warning-I leave this very night. Perhaps you'll get my wages ready, ma'am?

[Exit Cook, in a passion.

Land. (Rising.) O dear! I must pacify her, or she will go to "The Red Cow." Don't stand staring there, Susan; havn't you got anything to do?

Susan. Shall I finish rubbing up these glasses, ma'am?
Land. Yes; and be quick about it.

[Exit LANDLADY.

Enter TIMOTHY, napkin in hand.

Tim. Ah! my charming Susy, you here! where is Missis? Susan. Just gone into the kitchen, she'll be back directly.

[Cry of "Waiter" heard.

Tim. (Aloud.) Yes, sir; coming, sir. (In a lower tone) Oh yes, I'm a coming, but not until I have rested my poor legs a bit, in Missis's easy-chair. (Seats himself.) It has been nothing but "Wai-ter," "Wai-ter," " Wai-ter," all day long; and there's Missis, just because the house is full of company-(another cry of "Waiter" heard)—yes, sir; coming, sir;-thinks she must be ordering me about, and it's

[Sings. AIR." Figaro."

Timothy here, Timothy there,
Timothy what, Timothy where ;
Timothy high, Timothy low,
Timothy come, Timothy go;

Thus, like a shuttlecock, struck to and fro,
Between Missis and customers flying I go.

Susan. And I think you had better go too, or Missis will come back and catch you here.

[Cry of " Wai-ter" again heard.

Timothy. (Getting up lazily). Yes, sir; coming, sir. (To SUSAN.) Got a glass of sherry to give a fellow? Do, there's a dear.

Susan. Oh no, I dare not; it will be missed.

Timothy. No, it won't; fill it up with water. Here, I'll take the sherry-(pours out a glass and drinks it off)—and you put in the water. (Cry of " Wai-ter," in an impatient tone.) Oh, I'm a coming, coming, coming; I'm coming with the flowers. [Runs out hastily.

[SUSAN puts some water into the sherry, and then appears to be busy with the glasses.

Enter LANDLADY.

Land. Susan, don't you hear the blue-room bell ringing? (Exit SUSAN. LANDLADY seats herself and appears to be making out a bill, speaking the items aloud.) "One dinner, two teas, wax candles," &c., &c.