you now condescend to favour with your company, | My wife observed, that rising too early would hurt has been bred with as nice a sense of honour as you. her daughters' eyes, that working after dinner Any attempts to injure that, may be attended with would redden their noses, and she convinced me very dangerous consequences. Honour, sir, is our that the hands never looked so white as when they only possession at present, and of that last treasure did nothing. Instead therefore of finishing George's we must be particularly careful.”—I was soon sorry shirts, we now had them new-modelling their old for the warmth with which I had spoken this, when gauzes, or flourishing upon catgut. The poor Miss the young gentleman, grasping my hand, swore Flamboroughs, their former gay companions, were he commended my spirit, though he disapproved cast off as mean acquaintance, and the whole conmy suspicions. "As to your present hint," con- versation ran upon high life and high-lived comtinued he, "I protest nothing was farther from my pany, with pictures, taste, Shakspeare, and the heart than such a thought. No, by all that's musical glasses. tempting, the virtue that will stand a regular siege was never to my taste; for all my amours are carried by a coup-de-main.”

But we could have borne all this, had not a fortune-telling gipsy come to raise us into perfect sublimity. The tawny sibyl no sooner appeared, than The two ladies, who affected to be ignorant of my girls came running to me for a shilling a-piece the rest, seemed highly displeased with this last to cross her hand with silver. To say the truth, stroke of freedom, and began a very discreet and I was tired of being always wise, and could not serious dialogue upon virtue; in this my wife, the help gratifying their request, because I loved to see chaplain, and I, soon joined: and the 'Squire him- them happy. I gave each of them a shilling; self was at last brought to confess a sense of sor-though for the honour of the family it must be obrow for his former excesses. We talked of the served, that they never went without money thempleasures of temperance, and of the sunshine in selves, as my wife always generously let them have the mind unpolluted with guilt. I was so well a guinea each, to keep in their pockets, but with pleased, that my little ones were kept up beyond strict injunctions never to change it. After they the usual time to be edified by so much good con- had been closeted up with the fortune-teller for versation. Mr. Thornhill even went beyond me, some time, I knew by their looks, upon their reand demanded if I had any objection to giving turning, that they had been promised something prayers. I joyfully embraced the proposal; and in great.-"Well, my girls, how have you sped? Tell this manner the night was passed in a most com- me, Livy, has the fortune-teller given thee a pennyfortable way, till at last the company began to think worth?"-"I protest, papa," says the girl, "I beof returning. The ladies seemed very unwilling to part with my daughters, for whom they had conceived a particular affection, and joined in a request to have the pleasure of their company home. The 'Squire seconded the proposal, and my wife added her entreaties; the girls too looked upon me as if they wished me to go. In this perplexity I made two or three excuses, which my daughters as readily removed: so that at last I was obliged to give a peremptory refusal; for which we had nothing but sullen looks and short answers the whole day ensuing.

CHAPTER X.

lieve she deals with somebody that's not right; for she positively declared, that I am to be married to a 'squire in less than a twelvemonth!"—"Well, now Sophy, my child,” said I, “and what sort of a husband are you to have?" "Sir," replied she, “I am to have a lord soon after my sister has married the 'squire." "How!" cried I, "is that all you are to have for your two shillings? Only a lord and a 'squire for two shillings! You fools, I could have promised you a prince and a nabob for half the money."

This curiosity of theirs, however, was attended with very serious effects: we now began to think ourselves designed by the stars to something exalted, and already anticipated our future grandeur. It has been a thousand times observed, and I The family endeavours to cope with their betters.-The mise-must observe it once more, that the hours we pass ries of the poor when they attempt to appear above their with happy prospects in view, are more pleasing than those crowned with fruition. In the first

circumstances.

I Now began to find, that all my long and pain-case, we cook the dish to our own appetite; in the ful lectures upon temperance, simplicity and con- latter, nature cooks it for us. It is impossible to tentment, were entirely disregarded. The dis- repeat the train of agreeable reveries we called up tinctions lately paid us by our betters awaked that for our entertainment. We looked upon our forpride which I had laid asleep, but not removed. tunes as once more rising; and as the whole parish Our windows, again, as formerly, were filled with asserted that the 'Squire was in love with my washes for the neck and face. The sun was daughter, she was actually so with him; for they dreaded as an enemy to the skin without doors, persuaded her into the passion. In this agreeable and the fire as a spoiler of the complexion within. interval, my wife had the most lucky dreams in the

world, which she took care to tell us every morning | be twenty times more genteel than such a paltry with great solemnity and exactness. It was one conveyance, as Blackberry was wall-eyed, and the night a coffin and cross-bones, the sign of an ap- colt wanted a tail: that they had never been broke proaching wedding; at another time she imagined to the rein, but had a hundred vicious tricks; and her daughters' pockets filled with farthings, a cer- that we had but one saddle and pillion in the tain sign of their being shortly stuffed with gold. whole house. All these objections, however, were The girls themselves had their omens. They felt overruled; so that I was obliged to comply. The strange kisses on their lips; they saw rings in the candle, purses bounced from the fire, and true love-knots lurked in the bottom of every tea-cup.

next morning I perceived them not a little busy in collecting such materials as might be necessary for the expedition; but as I found it would be a busiTowards the end of the week we received a card ness of time, I walked on to the church before, and from the town ladies; in which with their compli- they promised speedily to follow. I waited neaments, they hoped to see all our family at church an hour in the reading-desk for their arrival; but the Sunday following. All Saturday morning, I not finding them come as expected, I was obliged could perceive, in consequence of this, my wife and to begin, and went through the service, not without daughters in close conference together, and now some uneasiness at finding them absent. This was and then glancing at me with looks that betrayed increased when all was finished, and no appeara latent plot. To be sincere, I had strong suspi-ance of the family. I therefore walked back by cions that some absurd proposal was preparing for the horse-way, which was five miles round, though appearing with splendour the next day. In the the foot-way was but two, and when got about half evening they began their operations in a very regu- way home, perceived the procession marching lar manner, and my wife undertook to conduct the slowly forward towards the church; my son, my siege. After tea, when I seemed in spirits, she wife, and the two little ones, exalted upon one began thus: "I fancy, Charles, my dear, we horse, and my two daughters upon the other. I shall have a great deal of good company at our demanded the cause of their delay; but I soon found church to-morrow."-"Perhaps we may, my dear," by their looks they had met with a thousand misreturned I, "though you need be under no uneasi- fortunes on the road. The horses had at first reness about that, you shall have a sermon whether fused to move from the door, till Mr. Burchell was there be or not."-"That is what I expect," re- kind enough to beat them forward for about two turned she; "but I think, my dear, we ought to hundred yards with his cudgel. Next, the straps appear there as decently as possible, for who knows of my wife's pillion broke down, and they were what may happen?" "Your precautions," replied obliged to stop to repair them before they could I, "are highly commendable. A decent behaviour proceed. After that, one of the horses took it into and appearance in church is what charms me. We his head to stand still, and neither blows nor enshould be devout and humble, cheerful and serene." treaties could prevail with him to proceed. He was "Yes," cried she, "I know that: but I mean we just recovering from this dismal situation when I should go there in as proper a manner as possible; found them; but perceiving every thing safe, I own not altogether like the scrubs about us." "You their present mortification did not much displease are quite right, my dear," returned I, "and I was me, as it would give me many opportunities of fugoing to make the very same proposal. The ture triumph, and teach my daughters more huproper manner of going is, to go there as early as mility. possible, to have time for meditation before the service begins."-" Phoo, Charles," interrupted she, "all that is very true; but not what I would be at. I mean we should go there genteelly. You know the church is two miles off, and I protest 1 don't like to see my daughters trudging up to their pew all blowzed and red with walking, and looking MICHAELMAS eve happening on the next day, for all the world as if they had been winners at a we were invited to burn nuts and play tricks at smock-race. Now, my dear, my proposal is this: neighbour Flamborough's. Our late mortificathere are our two plough horses, the colt that has tions had humbled us a little, or it is probable we been in our family these nine years, and his com- might have rejected such an invitation with conpanion Blackberry, that has scarcely done an earth- tempt: however, we suffered ourselves to be happy. ly thing for this month past. They are both grown Our honest neighbour's goose and dumplings were fat and lazy. Why should not they do something fine, and the lamb's wool, even in the opinion of my as well as we? And let me tell you, when Moses wife, who was a connoisseur, was excellent. It is has trimmed them a little, they will cut a very tole- true, his manner of telling stories was not quite so rable figure." well. They were very long, and very dull, and all To this proposal I objected, that walking would about himself, and we had laughed at them ten

CHAPTER XI.

The family still resolve to hold up their heads.

times before: however, we were kind enough to ters sat silent, admiring their exalted breeding. laugh at them once more. But as every reader, however beggarly himself, is

Mr. Burchell, who was of the party, was always fond of high-lived dialogues, with anecdotes of fond of seeing some innocent amusement going Lords, Ladies, and Knights of the Garter, I must forward, and set the boys and girls to blind man's beg leave to give him the concluding part of the buff. My wife too was persuaded to join in the present conversation. diversion, and it give me pleasure to think she was

"All that I know of the matter," cried Miss not yet too old. In the mean time, my neighbour Skeggs, "is this, that it may be true, or it may not and I looked on, laughed at every feat, and praised be true: but this I can assure your ladyship, that our own dexterity when we were young. Hot the whole rout was in amaze: his lordship turned cockles succeeded next, questions and commands all manner of colours, my lady fell into a sound, followed that, and last of all, they sat down to hunt but Sir Tomkyn, drawing his sword, swore he was the slipper. As every person may not be acquaint-hers to the last drop of his blood."

ed with this primeval pastime, it may be necessa- "Well," replied our peeress, "this I can say, ry to observe, that the company at this play plant that the dutchess never told me a syllable of the themeslves in a ring upon the ground, all, except matter, and I believe her grace would keep nothing one who stands in the middle, whose business it is a secret from me. This you may depend upon as to catch a shoe, which the company shove about fact, that the next morning my lord duke cried out under their hams from one to another, something three times to his valet de chambre, Jernigan, Jerlike a weaver's shuttle. As it is impossible, in nigan, Jernigan, bring me my garters." this case, for the lady who is up to face all the But previously I should have mentioned the very company at once, the great beauty of the play lies impolite behaviour of Mr. Burchell, who, during in hitting her a thump with the heel of the shoe on this discourse, sat with his face turned to the fire, that side least capable of making a defence. It and at the conclusion of every sentence would was in this manner that my eldest daughter was cry out fudge! an expression which displeased us hemmed in, and thumped about, all blowzed, in all, and in some measure damped the rising spirit spirits, and bawling for fair play, with a voice that of the conversation.

might deafen a ballad-singer, when, confusion on "Besides, my dear Skeggs," continued our confusion! who should enter the room but our peeress, "there is nothing of this in the copy of two great acquaintances from town, Lady Blarney verses that Dr. Burdock made upon the occasion." and Miss Carolina Wilhelmina Amelia Skeggs! Fudge! -Description would but beggar, therefore it is "I am surprised at that," cried Miss Skeggs; unnecessary to describe this new mortification. "for he seldom leaves any thing out, as he writes Death! to be seen by ladies of such high breeding only for his own amusement. But can your ladyin such vulgar attitudes! Nothing better could en-ship favour me with a sight of them?" Fudge! sue from such a vulgar play of Mr. Flamborough's "My dear creature," replied our peeress, "do proposing. We seemed struck to the ground for you think I carry such things about me? Though some time, as if actually petrified with amazement. they are very fine to be sure, and I think myself The two ladies had been at our house to see us, something of a judge; at least I know what pleases and finding us from home, came after us hither, as myself. Indeed I was ever an admirer of all Dr. they were uneasy to know what accident could Burdock's little pieces; for, except what he does, have kept us from church the day before. Olivia and our dear countess at Hanover-Square, there's undertook to be our prolocutor, and delivered the nothing comes out but the most lowest stuff in nawhole in a summary way, only saying, "We were ture; not a bit of high life among them." Fudge! thrown from our horses." At which account the "Your ladyship should except," says t'other, ladies were greatly concerned; but being told the "your own things in the Lady's Magazine. I family received no hurt, they were extremely glad: hope you'll say there's nothing low-lived there? but being informed that we were almost killed by But I suppose we are to have no more from that the fright, they were vastly sorry; but hearing that quarter?” Fudge!

we had a very good night, they were extremely "Why, my dear," says the lady, "you know my glad again. Nothing could exceed their complais-reader and companion has left me, to be married to ance to my daughters; their professions the last Captain Roach, and as my poor eyes won't suffer evening were warm, but now they were ardent. me to write myself, I have been for some time They protested a desire of having a more lasting looking out for another. A proper person is no acquaintance. Lady Blarney was particularly at-easy matter to find, and to be sure thirty pounds tached to Olivia; Miss Carolina Wilhelmina Ame-a-year is a small stipend for a well-bred girl of fia Skeggs (I love to give the whole name) took a character, that can read, write, and behave in comgreater fancy to her sister. They supported the pany: as for the chits about town, there is no bear conversation between themselves, while my daugh-ing them about one." Fudge!

"That I know," cried Miss Skeggs, "by expe- commendation would be sufficient; and upon this Flence. For of the three companions I had this we rested our petition.

last half-year, one of them refused to do plain-work an hour in a day; another thought twenty-five guineas a-year too small a salary, and I was oblig

ed to send away the third, because I suspected an

CHAPTER XII.

intrigue with the chaplain. Virtue, my dear La-Fortune seems resolved to humble the family of Wakefield.—

dy Blarney, virtue is worth any price; but where

is that to be found?" Fudge!

Mortifications are often more painful than real calamities.

My wife had been for a long time all attention WHEN we were returned home, the night was to this discourse; but was particularly struck with dedicated to schemes of future conquest. Debothe latter part of it. Thirty pounds and twenty-five rah exerted much sagacity in conjecturing which guineas a-year, made fifty-six pounds five shillings of the two girls was likely to have the best place, English money, all which was in a manner going and most opportunities of seeing good company. a-begging, and might easily be secured in the fami- The only obstacle to our preferment was in obly. She for a moment studied my looks for appro- taining the 'Squire's recommendation: but he had bation; and, to own a truth, I was of opinion, that already shown us too many instances of his friendtwo such places would fit our two daughters ex-ship to doubt of it now. Even in bed my wife actly. Besides, if the 'Squire had any real affec- kept up the usual theme: "Well, faith, my dear tion for my eldest daughter, this would be the way Charles, between ourselves, I think we have made to make her every way qualified for her fortune. an excellent day's work of it."-"Pretty well," My wife therefore was resolved that we should not cried I, not knowing what to say.-"What! only be deprived of such advantages for want of assur- pretty well!" returned she. "I think it is very ance, and undertook to harangue for the family-well. Suppose the girls should come to make ac"I hope," cried she, "your ladyships will pardon quaintances of taste in town! This I am asmy present presumption. It is true, we have no sured of, that London is the only place in the world right to pretend to such favours: but yet it is natu- for all manner of husbands. Besides, my dear, ral for me to wish putting my children forward in stranger things happen every day: and as ladies of the world. And I will be bold to say my two girls quality are so taken with my daughters, what will have had a pretty good education and capacity, at not men of quality be?-Entre nous, I protest I least the country can't show better. They can like my Lady Blarney vastly, so very obliging. read, write, and cast accounts; they understand However, Miss Carolina Wilhelmina Amelia their needle, broadstitch, cross and change, and all Skeggs has my warm heart. But yet, when they manner of plain-work; they can pink, point, and came to talk of places in town, you saw at once frill, and know something of music; they can do how I nailed them. Tell me, my dear, don't you up small clothes; work upon catgut: my eldst can think I did for my children there?"-" Ay," recut paper, and my youngest has a very pretty man- turned I, not knowing well what to think of the ner of telling fortunes upon the cards." Fudge! matter, "Heaven grant they may be both the betWhen she had delivered this pretty piece of elo- ter for it this day three months!" This was one quence, the two ladies looked at each other a few of those observations I usually made to impress my minutes in silence, with an air of doubt and import-wife with an opinion of my sagacity: for if the ance. At last Miss Carolina Wilhelmina Amelia girls succeeded, then it was a pious wish fulfilled; Skeggs condescended to observe, that the young but if any thing unfortunate ensued, then it might ladies, from the opinion she could form of them be looked upon as a prophecy. All this conversafrom so slight an acquaintance, seemed very fit for tion, however, was only preparatory to another such employments: "But a thing of this kind, scheme, and indeed I dreaded as much. This was madam," cried she, addressing my spouse, "re-nothing less than that, as we were now to hold up quires a thorough examination into characters, and our heads a little higher in the world, it would be a more perfect knowledge of each other. Not, proper to sell the colt, which was grown old, at a madam," continued she, "that I in the least sus- neighbouring fair, and buy us a horse that would pect the young ladies' virtue, prudence and discre- carry single or double upon an occasion, and make a tion; but there is a form in these things, madam, pretty appearance at church, or upon a visit. This there is a form." at first I opposed stoutly; but it was as stoutly deMy wife approved her suspicions very much, ob- fended. However, as I weakened, my antagonist serving that she was very apt to be suspicious her- gained strength, till at last it was resolved to part self; but referred her to all the neighbours for a with him. character: but this our peeress declined as unne- As the fair happened on the following day, I had cessary, alleging that her cousin Thornhill's re-intentions of going myself; but my wife persuaded

me that I had got a cold, and nothing could prevail circumspection.-This air of diffidence highly disupon her to permit me from home. "No, my pleased my wife. "I never doubted, sir,” cried she, dear," said she, "our son Moses is a discreet boy, Your readiness to be agair.st my daughters and and can buy and sell to very good advantage: you me. You have more circumspection than is wantknow all our great bargains are of his purchasing. ed. However, I fancy when we come to ask adHe always stands out and higgles, and actually vice, we will apply to persons who seem to have tires them till he gets a bargain." made use of it themselves."-"Whatever my own As I had some opinion of my son's prudence, I conduct may have been, madam," replied he, "is was willing enough to intrust him with this com- not the present question; though as I have made mission; and the next morning I perceived his sis-no use of advice myself, I should in conscience ters mighty busy in fitting out Moses for the fair; give it to those that will.”—As I was apprehensive trimming his hair, brushing his buckles, and cocking this answer might draw on a repartee, making up his hat with pins. The business of the toilet be-[by abuse what it wanted in wit, I changed the subing over, we had at last the satisfaction of seeing ject, by seeming to wonder what could keep our him mounted upon the colt, with a deal box before son so long at the fair, as it was now almost nighthim to bring home groceries in. He had on a coat fall.-"Never mind our son," cried my wife, "demade of that cloth they call thunder and lightning, pend upon it he knows what he is about. I'll warwhich, though grown too short, was much too good rant we'll never see him sell his hen of a rainy day. to be thrown away. His waistcoat was of gosling I have seen him buy such bargains as would amaze green, and his sisters had tied his hair with a broad one. I'll tell you a good story about that, that will black riband. We all followed him several paces make you split your sides with laughing.-But as from the door, bawling after him good luck, good live, yonder comes Moses, without a horse, and luck, till we could see him no longer. the box at his back."

He was scarcely gone, when Mr. Thornhill's butler came to congratulate us upon our good fortune, saying, that he overheard his young master mention our names with great commendation.

I

As she spoke, Moses came slowly on foot, and sweating under the deal box, which he had strapped round his shoulders like a pedler.-" Welcome, welcome, Moses: well, my boy, what have you Good fortune seemed resolved not to come alone. brought us from the fair?"-"I have brought you Another footman from the same family followed, myself," cried Moses, with a sly look, and resting with a card for my daughters, importing, that the the box on the dresser.—" Ah, Moses,” cried my two ladies had received such pleasing accounts from wife, "that we know; but where is the horse?" "I Mr. Thornhill of us all, that, after a few previous have sold him," cried Moses, "for three pounds inquiries, they hoped to be perfectly satisfied. five shillings and two pence."-"Well done, my "Ay," cried my wife, "I now see it is no easy mat-good boy," returned she; "I knew you would ter to get into the families of the great; but when touch them off. Between ourselves, three pounds one once gets in, then, as Moses says, one may go five shillings and two pence is no bad day's work. to sleep." To this piece of humour, for she intend- Come let us have it then.”—“ I have brought back ed it for wit, my daughters assented with a loud no money,” cried Moses again. "I have laid it all laugh of pleasure. In short, such was her satis-out in a bargain, and here it is," pulling out a bunfaction at this message, that she actually put her dle from his breast: "here they are; a gross of green hand in her pocket, and gave the messenger seven-spectacles, with silver rims and shagreen cases."pence halfpenny.

"A gross of green spectacles!" repeated my wife in This was to be our visiting day. The next that a faint voice. "And you have parted with the came was Mr. Burchell, who had been at the fair. colt, and brought us back nothing but a gross of He brought my little ones a pennyworth of ginger- green paltry spectacles!"-"Dear mother," cried bread each, which my wife undertook to keep for the boy, "why won't you listen to reason? I had them, and give them by letters at a time. He brought them a dead bargain, or I should not have bought my daughters also a couple of boxes, in which they them. The silver rims alone will sell for double might keep wafers, snuff, patches, or even money, the money."-"A fig for the silver rims," cried when they got it. My wife was usually fond of a wea- my wife in a passion: "I dare swear they won't sel-skin purse, as being the most lucky; but this by sell for above half the money at the rate of broker, the by. We had still a regard for Mr. Burchell, silver, five shillings an ounce."-"You need be though his late rude behaviour was in some mea- under no uneasiness," cried I, "about selling the sure displeasing; nor could we now avoid commu- rims, for they are not worth sixpence; for I pernicating our happiness to him, and asking his ad- ceive they are only copper varnished over."vice: although we seldom followed advice, we were "What," cried my wife, "not silver! the rims not all ready enough to ask it. When he read the note silver!" "No," cried I, "no more silver than your from the two ladies, he shook his head, and observ-saucepan."-" And so," returned she, "we have ed, that an affair of this sort demanded the utmost parted with the colt, and have only got a gross of