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But, ez I haint no capital, up there

among ye, maybe, You might raise funds enough fer me to

buy a low-priced baby, An' then to suit the No'thern folks,

who feel obleeged to say They late an'cuss the very thing they

vote fer every day, Say you 're assured I go full butt fer

Libbaty's diffusion An' made the purchis on’y jest to spite

the Institootion ;But, golly ! there's the currier's hoss

upon the pavement pawin'! I'll be more ’xplicit in my next.



[We have now a tolerably fair chance of estimating how the balance-sheet stands between our returned volunteer and glory. Supposing the entries to be set down on both sides of the account in fractional parts of one hundred, we shall arrive at something like the following result :

pecunia primum, virtus post nummos. He hoisted sail for Eldorado, and shipwrecked on Point Tribulation. Quid non mertulia pectora cogis, auri sacra james? The speculation has sometimes crossed my mind, in that dreary interval of drought which intervenes between quarterly stipendiary showers, that Providence, by the creation of a money. tree, might have simplified wonderfully the sometimes perplexing problem o: human life. We read of bread-trees, the butter for which lies ready-churned in Irish bogs. Milk-trees we are assured of in South America, and stou! Sir John Hawkins testifies to water-trees in the Canaries. Boot-trees bear abundantly In Lynn and elsewhere; and I have seen, in the entries of the wealthy, hat-trees with a fair show of fruit. A family-tree l once cultivated myself, and found therefrom but a scanty yield, and that quite tasteless and innutritious. Of trees bearing men we are not without examples; as those in the park of Louis the Eleventh of France.

Who has forgotten, moreover, that olive-tree, growing in the Athenian's back-garden, with its strange uxorious crop, for the general propagation of which, as of a new and precious variety, the philosopher Diogenes, hitherto uninterested in arboriculture, was so zealous? In the sylva of our own Southern States, the females of my family have called iny attention to the china-tree. Not to multiply examples, I will barely add to my list the birch-tree, in the smaller branches of which has been implanted so miraculous a virtue for cominuni cating the Latin and Greek languages, and which inay well, therefore, be classed among the trees producing necessaries of life, venerabile donum fatalis virge. That money-trees existed in the golden age there want not prevalent reasons for our believing. For does not the old proverb, when it as. serts that money does not grow on every bush, imply a fortiori that there were certain bushes which did produce it? Again, there is another ancient saw to the effect that money is the root of all evil. Froin which two adages it may be safe to infer that tre aforesaid species of tree first degenerated into a shrub, then absconded underground, and finaily, in our iron age, vanished altor gether. In favorable exposures it may te conjectured that a specimen or two survived to a great age, as in the garden of the Fies. perides; and, indeed, what else could that tree in the Sixth Æneid have been, with a branch whereof the Trojan hero procured admission to a territory, for the entering of which money is a surer passport than to a certain other inore profitable (too) foreign kingdom? Whether these speculations of mine have any force in them, or whether they will not rather, by most readers, be deemed impertinent to the matter in hand, is a question which I leave to the determination of an indulgent posterity. That there were, in more primitive and happier times, shops

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B. SAWIN, Esq., in account with (BLANK)


Dr. By loss of one leg, 20 To one 675th three do. one arm, 15

cheers in Fando. four fin

euil Hall, . 30 gers,



do. on do, one eye, lo occasion of the breaking of presentation of six ribs,


sword to Col“ having served onel Wright, 25 under Colonel

one suit of Cushing one

gray clothes month, 44 ingeniouslyun

becoming), . 15
musical enter-
taininents (drum
and fife six
months), 5
one clinner after
chance of pen-

“ privilege

of drawing longbow during rest of natural life, 23

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vestigations, and discover if hat strictive voluine does not contain some r' try's more personally interesting to ourselves I think we should be more economical of our resources, did we thoroughly appreciate the fact, that, whenever Brother Jonathan seems to be thrusting his hand into his own pocket, he is, in fact, picking ours. I confess that the late muck which the country has been running has materially changed my views as to the best method of raising revenue. If, by means of direct taxation, the bills for every extraordinary outlay were brought under our immediate eye, so that, like thrifty housekeepers, we could see where and how fast the money was going, we should be less likely to commit extravagances. At present, these things are managed in such a hugger. mugger way, that we know not what we pay for; the poor man is charged as much as the rich; and, while we are saving and scrimping at the spigot, the government is drawing oft at the bung. If we could know that a part of the money we expend for tea and coffee goes to buy powder and balls, and that it is Mexican blood which makes the clothes on our backs more costly, it would set some of us athinking. During the present fall, I have often pictured to myself a government ofhcial entering iny study and handing me the following bill:

where money was 'sold, - and that, too, on credit and at a bargain, - I take to be matter of demonstration. For what but a dealer in this article was that Æolus who supplied Ulysses with motive power for his fleet in bags ? What that Ericus, king of Sweden, who is said to have kept the winds in his cap? what, in more recent times, those Lapland Nornas who traded in favorable breezes ? All which will appear the more clearly when we consider, that, even to this day, raising the wind is proverbial for raising money, - nd that brokers and banks were invented by the Venetians at a later period.

And now for the improvement of this digression. I find a parallel to Mr. Sawin's fortune in an adventure of my own. For, shortly after I had first broached to myself the before-stated natural-historical and archæological theories, as I was passing, hæc negotia penitus mecum revolvens, through one of the obscure suburbs of our New Eng. land metropolis, my eye was attracted by these words upon a sign-board, - CHEAP CASH-STORE. Here was at once the confirmation of iny speculations, and the substance of my hopes. Here lingered the fragment of a happier past, or stretched out the first tremulous organic filament of a more fortunate future. Thus glowed the distant Mexico to the eyes of Sawin, as he looked through the dirty pane of the recruiting-office window, or speculated from the sunimit of that mirage-Pisgah which the imps of the bottle are so cunning in raising up. Already had my Alnaschar-fancy (even during that first half-believing glance) expended in vari. ous useful directions the funds to be obtained by pledging the manuscript of a proposed volume of discourses. Already did a clock ornament the tower of the Jaalam meetinghouse, a gift appropriately, but modestly, commemorated in the parish and town records, both, for now many years, kept by my, self. Already had my son Seneca completed his course at the University. Whether, for the moment, we may not be considered as actually lording it over those Baratarias with the viceroyalty of which Hope invests us, and whether we are ever so warmly housed as in our Spanish castles, would afford mat. ter of argument. Enough that I found that sign-board to be no other than a bait to the trap of a decayed grocer. Nevertheless, I bought a pound of dates (getting short weight by reason of immense flights of harpy fies who pursued and lighted upon their Phone

even in the very scales), which purchase at home, but also as a figurative reproof of that too frequent habit of my inind, which, forgetting the due order of chronology, will often persuade me that the happy sceptre of Saturn is stretched over this Astræa. forsaken nineteenth century.

Having glanced at the ledger of Glory un der the title Sawin, B., let us extend our in

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WASHINGTON, Sept. 30, 1848. REV. HOMER WILBUR to Uncle Samuel,

Dr. To his share of work done in Mexico on

partnership account, sundry jobs,

as below. “ killing maiming, and wounding about 5,000 Mexicans,

$2.00 slaughtering one woman carrying

water to wounded,
“extra work on two different Sabbath's

(one bombardment and one as-
sault) whereby the Mexicans
were prevented from

themselves with the idolatries of
high mass,

3.50 " throwing an especially fortunate and

Protestant bombshell into the
Cathedralat Vera Cruz, whereby
several female Papists were slain
at the altar,

-50 “ his proportion of cash paid for conquered territory,

1.75 do. for conquering do: 1.50 manuring do. with new superior

compost called “American Citi-

.50 extending the area of freedom and

Protestantism, glory,


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N. B. Thankful for former favors, U. S. requests a continuance of patronage. Or. ders executed with neatness and despatch. Terms as low as those of any other contractor for the same kind and style of work.

I can fancy the official answering my look of horror with, -"Yes, Sir, it looks like a high charge, Sir ; but in these days slaughtering is slaughtering.' Verily, I would that every one understood that it was ; for it goes about obtaining money under the false pretence of being glory. For me, I have an imagination which plays me uncomfortable tricks. It happens to me sometimes to see a slaughterer on his way home from his day's work, and forth with my imagination puts a cocked-hat upon his head and epaulettes upon his shoulders, and sets him up as a candidate for the Presidency. So, also, on a recent public occasion, as the place assigned to the

Reverend Clergy” is just behind that of “Officers of the Army and Navy" in processions, it was my fortune to be seated at the dinner-table over against one of these respectable persons. He was arrayed as (out of his own profession) only kings, court. officers, and footmen are in Europe, and Indians in America. Now what does my over-officious imagination but set to work upon him, strip him of his gay livery, and present him to me coatless, his trowsers thrust into the tops of a pair of boots thick with clotted blood, and a basket on his arm out of which lolled a gore-sineared axe, thereby destroying my relish for the temporal mercies upon the board before me! H. W.)

as could be desired. It is sufficiently so, however, for purposes of scenic representa tion. An humble cottage (it built of logs, the better) forius the Arcadian background of the stage. This rustic paradise is labelled Ashland, Jaalam, North Bend, Marshfield, Kinderhook, or Bâton Rouge, as occasion demands. Before the door stands a something with one handle (the other painted in proper perspective), which represents, in happy ideal vagueness, the plough. To this the defeated candidate rushes with delirious joy, welcomed as a father by appropriate groups of happy laborers, or from it the successful one is torn with difficulty, sustained alone by a noble sense of public duty. Only I have observed, that, if the scene be laid at Baton Rouge or Ashland, the laborers are kept carefully in the background, and are heard to shout from behind the scenes in a singular tone resembling ululation, and accompanied by a sound not unlike vigorous clapping. This, however, may be artistically in keeping with the habits of the rustic population of those localities. The precise connection between agricultural pursuits and statesmanship, I have not been able, after diligent inquiry, to discover. But, that my investigations may not be barren of all fruit, I will mention one curious statistical fact, which I consider thoroughly established, namely, that no real farmer ever attains practically beyond a seat in General Court, however theoretically qualified for more ex: alted station.

It is probable that some other prospect has been opened to Mr. Sawin, and that he has not made this great sacrifice without some definite understanding in regard to a seat in the cabinet or a foreign mission. It may be supposed that we of Jaalam were not untouched by a feeling of villatic pride in beholding our townsman occupying so large a space in the public eye. And to me, deeply revolving the qualifications necessary to a candidate in these frugal times, those of Mr. S. seemed peculiarly adapted to a successful campaign. The loss of a leg, an arm, an eye, and four fingers, reduced him so nearly to the condition of a vox et præterea nihil, tha I could think of nothing but the loss of his head by which his chance could have been bettered. But since he has chosen to balk our suffrages, we must content ourselves with what we can get, remembering lactucas non esse dandas, dum cardui sufficiant.-H. W.]

No. IX.


(UPON the following letter slender comInent will be needful. In what river Seleinhus has Mr. Sawin bathed, that he has betome so swiftly oblivious of his former loves? From an ardent and (as befits a soldier) confident wooer of that coy, bride, the popular favor, we see hiin subside of a sudden into the (I trust not jilted) Cincinnatus, returning, to his plough with a goodly sized branch of willow in his hand; figuratively returning, however, to a figurative plough, and from no profound affection for that honored imple. ment of husbandry (for which, indeed, Mr. Sawin never displayed any decided predilection), but in order to be gracefully summoned therefrom to more congenial labors. It would seem that the character of the ancient Dictator had become part of the recognized stock of our modern political comedy, though, as our term of office extends to a quadrennial lenth, the parallel is not so minutely exact

I SPOSE you recollect thet I explained

my gennle views In the last billet thet I writ, 'way dow)

frum Veery Cruze, Jest arter I'd a kind o' ben sponta

nously sot up To run unanimously fer the Presidential


O course it worn't no wish o' mine,

't wuz ferfiely distressin', But poppiler enthusiasm gut so almighty

pressin' Thet, though like sixty all along I

fumed an' fussed an' sorrered, There did n't seem no ways to stop

their bringiv'on me forrerd : Fact is, they udged the matter so, I

could n't help admittin' The Father o' his Country's shoes no

feet but mine 'ould fit in, Besides the savin' o' the soles fer ages

to succeed, Seein' thet with one wannut foot, a pair

'd be more 'n I need ; An', tell ye wut, them shoes 'll want a

thund'rin sight o' patchin', Ef this 'ere fashion is to last we've gut

into o' hatchin' A pair o' second Washintons fer every

new election, Though, fur ez number one's consarned,

I don't make no objection. 1 wuz agoin' on to say thet wen at fust

I saw The masses would stick to't I wuz the

Country's father-'n-law, (They would ha' hed it Father, but I

told 'em 't would n't du, Coz thet wuz sutthin' of a sort they

could n't split in tu, An' Washinton hed hed the thing laid

fairly to his door, Nor dars n't say 't worn't his 'n, much

ez sixty year afore,) But 't aint no matter ez to thet ; wen I

wuz nomernated, *T worn't natur but wut I should feel

consid'able elated, An' wile the hooraw o' the thing wuz

kind o' noo an' fresh, I thought our ticket would ha' caird the

country with a resh. Sence I've come hum, though, an'

looked round, I think I seem to

find Strong argimunts ez thick ez fleas to

make me change my mind; It's clear to any one whose brain aint

fur gone in a phthisis, Thet hail Columby's happy land is goin'

thru a crisis,

An' 't would n't noways du to hev the

people's mind distracted By bein' all to once by sev'ral pop'lar

names attackted; 'T would save holl haycartloads o' fuss

an' three four months o’jaw, Ef some illustrous paytriot should back

out an' withdraw; So, ez I aint a crooked stick, jest like

like ole (I swow, I dunno ez I know his name) - I'll

go back to my plough. Wenever an Amerikin distinguished

politishin Begins to try et wut they call definin'

his posishin, Wal, I, fer one, feel sure he aint gut

nothin' to define ; It's so nine cases out o' ten, but jest

that tenth is mine ; And 't aint no more 'n is


'n' right in sech a sitooation To hint the course you think 'll be the

savin' o' the nation ; To funk right out o' p’lit'cal strife aint

thought to be the thing, Without you deacon off the toon you

want your folks should sing ; So I edvise the noomrous friends thet's

in one boat with me To jest up killock, jam right down their

hellum hard a lee, Haul the sheets taut, an', laying out

upon the Suthun tack, Make fer the safest port they can, wich,

I think, is Ole Zack. Next thing you 'll want to know, I

spose, wut argimunts I seem To see thet makes me think this ere 'll

be the strongest team ; Fust place, I've ben consid’ble round

in bar-rooms an' saloons Agethrin' public sentiment, 'mongst

Demmercrats and Coons, An''t aint ve’y offen thet I meet a chap

but wut goes in Fer Rough an' Ready, fair an' square,

hufs, taller, horns, an' skin; I don't deny but wut, fer one, ez fur ez

I could see, I did n't like at fust the Pheladelphy They're like two pickpockets in league


fer Uncle Samwell's pus; Each takes a side, an’then they squeeze

the old man in between 'em, Turn all his pockets wrong side out an'

quick ez lightnin' clean 'em ; To nary one on 'em I'd trust a secon'

handed rail No furder off 'an I could sling a bul

lock by the tail.

I could ha' pinted to a man thet wuz, I

guess, a peg Higher than him, — a soger, tu, an' with

a wooden leg ; But every day with more an' more o

Taylor zeal I’m burnin', Seein' wich way the tide thet sets to

office is aturnin'; Wy, into Bellers's we notched the votes

down on three sticks, 'T wuz Birdofredum one, Cass aught,

an' Taylor twenty-six, An' bein the on'y canderdate thet wuz

upon the ground, They said 't wuz no more 'n right thet

I should pay the drinks all round; Ef I'd expected sech a trick, I wouldn't

ha' cut my foot By goin'an'votin' fer myself like a con

sumed coot ; It did n't make no diff'rence, though;

I wish I may be cust, Ef Bellers wuz n't slim enough to say

he would n't trust!

Another pint thet influences the minds

osober jedges Is thet the Gin'ral hez n't gut tied hand

an’ foot with pledges; He hez n't told ye wut he is, an' so

there aint no knowin' But wut he may turn out to be the best

there is agoin'; This, at the on'y spot thet pinched, the

shoe directly eases, Coz every one is free to ’xpect percisely

wut he pleases : I want free-trade ; you don't; the Gin

'ral is n't bound to neither ;I vote my way: you, yourn ; an' both

air sooted to a T there. Ole Rough an' Ready, tu, 's a Wig, but

without bein' ultry (He's like a holsome havinday, thet's

warm, but is n't sultry ; He's jest wut I should call myself, a

kin' o' scratch ez 't ware, Thet aint exacly all a wig nor wholly

your own hair; I've ben a Wig three weeks myself,

jest o' this mod'rate sort, An' don't find them an' Demmercrats

so different ez I thought ; They both act pootv much alike, an'

push an' scrouge an'cus ;

Webster sot matters right in thet air

Mashfiel' speech o' his'n ; “Taylor," sez he, “aint nary ways the

one thet I'd a chizzen, Nor he aint fittin' fer the place, an.

like ez not he aint No more 'n a tough ole bullethead, an'

no gret of a saint ; But then, sez he,“ obsarve my pint,

he's jest ez good to vote fer Ez though the greasin' on him worn't

a thing to hire Choate fer ; Aintit ez easy done to drop a ballot in

a box Fer one ez 't is fer tother, fer the bull

dog ez the fox ? " It takes a mind like annel's, fact, ez

big ez all ou' doors, To find out thet it looks like rain arter

it fairly pours; I 'gree with him, it aint so dreffle

troublesome to vote Fer Taylor arter all, - it 's jest to go

an' change your coat; Wen he 's once greased, you ’ll swaller

him an never know on’t, scurce, Unless he scratches, goin' down, with

them 'ere Gin'ral's spurs. I've ben a votin' Demmercrat, ez reg

'lar as a clock, But don't find goin' Taylor gives my

narves no gret 'f a shock; Truth is, the cutest leadin' Wigs, ever

sence fust they found Wich side the bread gut buttered on,

hev kep' a edgin' round; They kin' o'slipt the planks frum out

th’ ole platform one by one An' made it gradooally noo, 'fore folks

know'd wut wuz done, Till, fur’z I know, there aint an inch

thet I could lay my han' on, But I, or any Demmercrat, feels com

f'table to stan' on,

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