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want assurance when you come to solicit for your every thing in my power to deserve it. Her infriends. delicacy surprises me.
Lofty. O, there indeed I'm in bronze: Apro- Olivia. Sure, Leontine, there's nothing so inpos! I have just been mentioning Miss Richland's delicate in being sensible of your merit. If so, 1 case to a certain personage; we must name no fear I shall be the most guilty thing alive. names. When I ask, I'm not to be put off, madam. Leontine. But you mistake, my dear. The No, no, I take my friend by the button. A fine same attention I used to advance my merit with girl, sir; great justice in her case. A friend of you, I practised to lessen it with her What more mine. Borough interest. Business must be done, could I do? Mr. Secretary. I say, Mr. Secretary, her busi- Olivia. Let us now rather consider what is to ness must be done, sir. That's my way, madam. be done. We have both dissembled too long.-Į Mrs. Croaker. Bless me! you said all this to the have always been ashamed-I am now quite weary secretary of state, did you? of it. Sure I could never have undergone so much for any other but you.
Lofty. I did not say the secretary, did I? Well, curse it, since you have found me out, I will not deny it. It was to the secretary.
Mrs. Croaker. This was going to the fountainhead at once, not applying to the understrappers, as Mr. Honeywood would have had us. Lofty. Honeywood! he! he! He was, indeed, fine solicitor. I suppose you have heard what has just happened to him?
Leontine. And you shall find my gratitude equal to your kindest compliance. Though our friends should totally forsake us, Olivia, we can draw upon content for the deficiencies of fortune...
Olivia. Then why should we defer our scheme of humble happiness, when it is now in our power? I may be the favourite of your father, it is true; but can it ever be thought, that his present kindMrs. Croaker. Poor dear man; no accident, Iness to a supposed child will continue to a known hope?
Lofty. Undone, madam, that's all. His creditors have taken him into custody. A prisoner in his own house.
Mrs. Croaker. A prisoner in his own house! How? At this very time? I'm quite unhappy for him.
Lofty. Why, so am I. The man, to be sure, was immensely good-natured. But then I could never find that he had any thing in him.
Mrs. Croaker. His manner, to be sure, was excessive harmless; some, indeed, thought it a little dull. For my part, I always concealed my opinion. Lofty, It can't be concealed, madam; the man was dull, dull as the last new comedy! a poor impracticable creature! I tried once or twice to know if he was fit for business; but he had scarce talents to be groom-porter to an orange-barrow.
Mrs. Croaker. How differently does Miss Richland think of him! For, I believe, with all his faults, she loves him.
Leontine. I have many reasons to believe it will. As his attachments are but few they are lasting. His own marriage was a private one, as ours may be. Besides, I have sounded him already at a distance, and find all his answers exactly to our wish. Nay, by an expression or two that dropped from him, I am induced to think he knows of this affair. Olivia. Indeed! But that would be a happiness too great to be expected.
Leontine. However it be, I'm certain you have power over him; and I am persuaded, if you informed him of our situation, that he would be disposed to pardon it.
Olivia. You had equal expectations, Leontine, from your last scheme with Miss Richland, which you find has succeeded most wretchedly.
Leontine. And that's the best reason for trying another.
Olivia. If it must be so, I submit.
Leontine. As we could wish, he comes this way. Lofty. Loves him! does she? You should cure Now my dearest Olivia, be resolute. I'll just reher of that by all means. Let me see; what if she tire within hearing, to come in at a proper time, were sent to him this instant, in his present doleful either to share your danger, or confirm your vicsituation? My life for it, that works her cure. Distress is a perfect antidote to love. Suppose we join her in the next room? Miss Richland is a fine girl, has a fine fortune, and must not be thrown away. Upon my honour, madam, I have a regard for Miss Richland; and rather than she should be thrown away, I should think it no indignity to marry her myself. [Exeunt.
Enter OLIVIA and LEONTINE.
Leontine And yet, trust me, Olivia, I had every reason to expect Miss Richland's refusal, as I did
Croaker. Yes, I must forgive her; and yet not too easily neither. It will be proper to keep up the decorums of resentment a little, if it be only to impress her with an idea of my authority.
Olivia. How I tremble to approach him!Might I presume, sir,-if I interrupt youCroaker. No, child, where I have an affection, it is not a little thing that can interrupt me. fection gets over little things.
Leontine. Permit him thus to answer for him
ill I deserve this partiality; yet, Heaven knows, there is nothing I would not do to gain it. Croaker. And you have but too well succeeded, self. [Kneeling.] Thus, sir, let me speak my
you little hussy, you. With those endearing ways of yours, on my conscience, I could be brought to forgive any thing, unless it were a very great of fence indeed.
gratitude for this unmerited forgiveness. Yes, sir, this even exceeds all your former tenderness. Í now can boast the most indulgent of fathers. The life he gave, compared to this, was but a trifling blessing.
Croaker. And, good sir, who sent for you, with that fine tragedy face, and flourishing manner? I don't know what we have to do with your gratitude upon this occasion.
Leontine. How, sir! Is it possible to be silent, when so much obliged? Would you refuse me
Olivia. But mine is such an offence-When you know my guilt-Yes, you shall know it, though I feel the greatest pain in the confession. Croaker. Why, then, if it be so very great a pain, you may spare yourself the trouble; for I know every syllable of the matter before you begin. Olivia. Indeed! then I'm undone. Croaker. Ay, miss, you wanted to steal a match, the pleasure of being grateful? of adding my thanks without letting me know it, did you? But I'm to my Olivia's? of sharing in the transports that not worth being consulted, I suppose, when there's you have thus occasioned? to be a marriage in my own family. No, I'm to have no hand in the disposal of my own children. No, I'm nobody. I'm to be a mere article of family lumber; a piece of cracked china to be stuck up in a corner.
Olivia. Dear sir, nothing but the dread of your authority could induce us to conceal it from you.
Croaker. Lord, sir, we can be happy enough without your coming in to make up the party. I don't know what's the matter with the boy all this day; he has got into such a rhodomontade manner all this morning!
Leontine. But, sir, I that have so large a part in the benefit, is it not my duty to show my joy? Croaker. No, no, my consequence is no more; is the being admitted to your favour so slight an I'm as little minded as a dead Russian in winter, obligation? is the happiness of marrying my Olijust stuck up with a pipe in its mouth till there via so small a blessing? comes a thaw-It goes to my heart to vex her.
[Aside. Olivia. I was prepared, sir, for your anger, and despaired of pardon, even while I presumed to ask it. But your severity shall never abate my affection, as my punishment is but justice.
Croaker. And yet you should not despair neither, Livy. We ought to hope all for the best.
Croaker. Marrying Olivia! marrying Olivia! marrying his own sister! Sure the boy is out of his senses. His own sister.
Leontine. My sister!
Olivia. Sister! How have I been mistaken!
[Aride. Leontine. Some cursed mistake in all this, I find.
Croaker. What does the booby mean? or has
Olivia. And do you permit me to hope, sir? Can I ever expect to be forgiven? But hope has he any meaning? Eh, what do you mean, you too long deceived me. blockhead, you?
Croaker. Why then, child, it shan't deceive you now, for I forgive you this very moment; I forgive you all! and now you are indeed my daughter.. Olivia. O transport! this kindness overpowers-I have made a point of it.
Leontine. Mean, sir,-why, sir-only when my sister is to be married, that I have the pleasure of marrying her, sir, that is, of giving her away, sir,
Croaker. O, is that all? Give her away. You
Croaker. I was always against severity to our have made a point of it. Then you had as good children. We have been young and giddy ourselves, and we can't expect boys and girls to be old before their time.
Olivia. What generosity! But can you forget the many falsehoods, the dissimulation
make a point of first giving away yourself, as I'm going to prepare the writings between you and Miss Richland this very minute. What a fuss is here about nothing! Why, what's the matter now? I thought I had made you at least as happy as you could wish.
Olivia. O! yes, sir; very happy.
Croaker. You did indeed dissemble, you urchin you; but where's the girl that won't dissemble for a husband? My wife and I had never been mar- Croaker. Do you foresee any thing, child? You ried, if we had not dissembled a little beforehand. look as if you did. I think if any thing was to be Olivia. It shall be my future care never to put foreseen, I have as sharp a look-out as another; such generosity to a second trial. And as for the and yet I foresee nothing.
partner of my offence and folly, from his native honour, and the just sense he has of his duty, I can answer for him that
Olivia. What can it mean?
Leontine. He knows something, and yet for my | gether within my oath. For certain, if an honest life I can't tell what. man is to get any thing by a thing, there's no rea
Olivia. It can't be the connexion between us, son why all things should not be done in civility. I'm pretty certain.
Honeywood. Doubtless, all trades must live, Mr. Twitch; and yours is a necessary one.
Leontine. Whatever it be, my dearest, I'm resolved to put it out of fortune's power to repeat our [Gives him money. mortification. I'll haste and prepare for our jour- Bailiff. Oh! your honour: I hope your honour ney to Scotland this very evening. My friend takes nothing amiss as I does, as I does nothing Honeywood has promised me his advice and assist- but my duty in so doing. I'm sure no man can ance. I'll go to him and repose our distresses on his friendly bosom; and I know so much of his honest heart, that if he can't relieve our uncasinesses, he will at least share them.
say I ever give a gentleman, that was a gentleman, ill usage. If I saw that a gentleman was a gentleman, I have taken money not to see him for ten [Exeunt. weeks together.
Honeywood. Tenderness is a virtue, Mr. Twitch. Bailiff. Ay, sir, it's a perfect treasure. I love to see a gentleman with a tender heart. I don't know, but I think I have a tender heart myself. If all that I have lost by my heart was put together, it would make a-but no matter for that.
Honeywood. Don't account it lost, Mr. Twitch. The ingratitude of the world can never deprive us of the conscious happiness of having acted with
SCENE-YOUNG HONEYWOOD'S HOUSE. BAILIFF, HONEYWOOD, FOLLOWER. Bailiff. Lookye, sir, I have arrested as good men as you in my time: no disparagement of you neither: men that would go forty guineas on a game humanity ourselves. of cribbage. I challenge the town to show a man in more genteeler practice than myself. Honeywood. Without all question, Mr. forget your name, sir.
Bailiff. Humanity, sir, is a jewel. It's better than gold. I love humanity. People may say, I that we in our way have no humanity; but I'll show you my humanity this moment. There's my fol
Bailiff. How can you forget what you never lower here. Little Flanigan, with a wife and four knew? he he! he!
children, a guinea or two would be more to him
Honeywood. May I beg leave to ask your name? than twice as much to another. Now, as I can't Bailiff. Yes, you may. show him any humanity myself, I must beg leave you'll do it for me.
Honeywood. Then, pray, sir, what is your name? Bailiff. That I didn't promise to tell you. He! Honeywood. I assure you, Mr. Twitch, yours he! he! A joke breaks no bones, as we say among is a most powerful recommendation.
us that practise the law.
[Giving money to the follower. Honeywood. You may have reason for keeping Bailiff. Sir, you're a gentleman, I see you know it a secret, perhaps? what to do with your money. But, to business: Bailiff. The law does nothing without reason. we are to be with you here as your friends, I supI'm ashamed to tell my name to no man, sir. If pose. But set in case company comes.-Little you can show cause, as why, upon a special capus, Flanigan here, to be sure, has a good face; a very that I should prove my name- -But, come, Timo- good face; but then, he is a little seedy, as we say thy Twitch is my name. And, now you know among us that practise the law. Not well in my name, what have you to say to that? clothes. Smoke the pocket-holes.
Honeywood. Nothing in the world, good Mr. Twitch, but that I have a favour to ask, that's all. Bailif. Ay, favours are more easily asked than granted, as we say among us that practise the law. I have taken an oath against granting favours. Would you have me perjure myself?
Honeywood. But my request will come recommended in so strong a manner as, I believe, you'll have no scruple. [Pulling out his purse.] The thing is only this: I believe I shall be able to discharge this trifle in two or three days at farthest; but as I would not have the affair known for the world, I have thoughts of keeping you, and your good friend here, about me, till the debt is discharged; for which I shall be properly grateful. Bailif. Oh! that's another maxum, and alto
Honeywood. Well, that shall be remedied without delay.
Honeywood. We should not be so severe against dull writers, madam. It is ten to one but the dullest writer exceeds the most rigid French critic who presumes to despise him.
then. The blue and gold then. I believe Mr. | Miss Richland. I'm quite displeased when I see Flanigan will look best in blue. [Exit Flanigan. a fine subject spoiled by a dull writer. Bailiff. Rabbit me, but little Flanigan will look well in any thing. Ah, if your honour knew that bit of flesh as well as I do, you'd be perfectly in love with him. There's not a prettier scout in the four counties after a shy-cock than he; scents like a hound: sticks like a weasel. He was master of all that belongs to them. the ceremonies to the black queen of Morocco, Miss Richland. Sir!
Follower. Damn the French, the parle vous, and
when I took him to follow me. [Re-enter Flani-| Honeywood. Ha ha, ha! honest Mr. Flanigan. gan.] Heh, ecod, I think he looks so well, that IA true English officer, madam; he's not contentdon't care if I have a suit from the same place for ed with beating the French, but he will scold them myself.
Honeywood. Well, well, I hear the lady coming. Dear Mr. Twitch, I beg you'll give your friend directions not to speak. As for yourself, I know you will say nothing without being directed.
Bailiff. Never you fear me; I'll show the lady that I have something to say for myself as well as another. One man has one way of talking, and another man has another, that's all the difference between them.
Enter MISS RICHLAND and her Maid.
Miss Richland. Yet, Mr. Honeywood, this does not convince me but that severity in criticism is necessary. It was our first adopting the severity of French taste, that has brought them in turn to taste us.
Bailiff Taste us! By the Lord, madam, they devour us. Give monseers but a taste, and I'll be damn'd but they come in for a bellyfull.
Miss Richland. Very extraordinary this! Follower. But very true. What makes the bread rising? the parle vous that devour us. What
Miss Richland. You'll be surprised, sir, with makes the mutton fivepence a pound? the parle this visit. But you know I'm yet to thank you for vous that eat up. What makes the beer threechoosing my little library. pence-halfpenny a pot?—— Honeywood. Ah! the vulgar rogues; all will be
Honeywood. Thanks, madam, are unnecessary; as it was I that was obliged by your commands. out. [Aside.] Right, gentlemen, very right, upon Chairs here. Two of my very good friends, Mr. my word, and quite to the purpose. They draw a Twitch and Mr. Flanigan. Pray, gentlemen, sit parallel, madam, between the mental taste and that without ceremony. of our senses. We are injured as much by the French severity in the one, as by French rapacity in the other. That's their meaning.
Miss Richland. Who can these odd-looking men be; I fear it is as I was informed. It must be [Aside.
Bailiff [after a pause.] Pretty weather; very pretty weather for the time of the year, madam. Follower. Very good circuit weather in the country.
Honeywood. You officers are generally favourites among the ladies. My friends, madam, have been upon very disagreeable duty, I assure you. The fair should in some measure recompense the toils of the brave!
Miss Richland. Our officers do indeed deserve every favour. The gentlemen are in the marine service, I presume sir?
Honeywood. Why, madam, they do-occasionally serve in the fleet, madam. A dangerous service!
Miss Richland. I'm told so. And I own it has often surprised me, that while we have had so many instances of bravery there, we have had so few of wit at home to praise it.
Honeywood. I grant, madam, that our poets have not written as our soldiers have fought; but they have done all they could, and Hawke or Amherst could do no more.
Miss Richland. Though I don't see the force of the parallel, yet I'll own, that we should sometimes pardon books, as we do our friends, that have now and then agreeable absurdities to recommend them.
Bailiff. That's all my eye. The king only can pardon, as the law says: for set in case
Honeywood. I'm quite of your opinion, sir. I see the whole drift of your argument. Yes, certainly, our presuming to pardon any work, is arrogating a power that belongs to another. If all have power to condemn, what writer can be free?
Bailiff. By his habus corpus. His habus corpus can set him free at any time: for, set in case
Honeywood. I'm obliged to you, sir, for the hint. |If, madam, as my friend observes, our laws are so careful of a gentleman's person, sure we ought to be equally careful of his dearer part, his fame.
Follower. Ay, but if so be a man's nabb'd you know
Honeywood. Mr. Flanigan, if you spoke for ever, you could not improve the last observation. For my own part, I think it conclusive.
Bailiff. As for the matter of that, mayhap
Honeywood. Nay, sir, give me leave in this in- setting him free, I own, was quite unexpected. I stance to be positive. For where is the necessity has totally unhinged my schemes to reclaim him. of censuring works without genius, which must Yet it gives me pleasure to find, that among a shortly sink of themselves? what is it, but aiming number of worthless friendships, he has made one an unnecessary blow against a victim already under acquisition of real value; for there must be some the hands of justice? softer passion on her side that prompts this generosity. Ha! here before me: I'll endeavour to sound her affections.-Madam, as I am the person that have had some demands upon the gentleman of this house, I hope you'll excuse me, if, before I enlarged him, I wanted to see yourself.
Bailiff Justice! O, by the elevens, if you talk about justice, I think I am at home there: for, in a
course of law
Honeywood. My dear Mr. Twitch, I discern what you'd be at perfectly; and I believe the lady must be sensible of the art with which it is introduced. I suppose you perceive the meaning, madam, of his course of law.
Miss Richland. I protest, sir, I do not. I perceive only that you answer one gentleman before he has finished, and the other before he has well begun.
Bailiff. Madam, you are a gentlewoman, and I will make the matter out. This here question is about severity, and justice, and pardon, and the like of they. Now, to explain the thingHoneywood. O! curse your explanations. [Aside.
Sertant. Mr. Leontine, sir, below, desires to speak with you upon earnest business.
Miss Richland. The precaution was very unnecessary, sir. I suppose your wants were only such as my agent had power to satisfy.
Sir William. Partly, madam. But I was also willing you should be fully apprised of the character of the gentleman you intended to serve.
Miss Richland. It must come, sir, with a very ill grace from you. To censure it after what you have done, would look like malice; and to speak favourably of a character you have oppressed, would be impeaching your own. And sure, his tenderness, his humanity, his universal friendship, may atone for many faults.
Sir William. That friendship, madam, which is exerted in too wide a sphere, becomes totally useless. Our bounty, like a drop of water, disappears when diffused too widely. They, who preHoneywood. That's lucky [Aside.] Dear ma- tend most to this universal benevolence, are either dam, you'll excuse me and my good friends here, deceivers, or dupes: men who desire to cover their for a few minutes. There are books, madam, to private ill-nature, by a pretended regard for all; or amuse you. Come, gentlemen, you know I make men who, reasoning themselves into false feelings, no ceremony with such friends. After you, sir. are more earnest in pursuit of splendid, than of Excuse me. Well, if I must. But I know your useful virtues. natural politeness.
Miss Richland. I am surprised, sir, to hear one, who has probably been a gainer by the folly of before and behind, before and others, so severe in his censure of it.
Bailiff. Before and behind, you know.
Follower. Ay, ay,
[Exeunt Honeywood, Bailiff, and Follower. Miss Richland. What can all this mean, Gar
Garnet. Mean, madam! why, what should it mean, but what Mr. Lofty sent you here to see? These people he calls officers, are officers sure enough; sheriff's officers; bailiffs, madam.
Mise Richland. Ay, it is certainly so. Well, though his perplexities are far from giving me pleasure, yet I own there's something very ridiculous in them, and a just punishment for his dissimulation.
Garnet. And so they are. But I wonder, madam, that the lawyer you just employed to pay his debts, and set him free, has not done it by this time. He ought at least to have been here before now. But lawyers are always more ready to get a man into troubles than out of them.
Enter SIR WILLIAM HONEYWOOD.
Sir William. Whatever I may have gained by folly, madam, you see I am willing to prevent your losing by it.
Miss Richland. Your cares for me, sir, are unnecessary. I always suspect those services which are denied where they are wanted, and offered, perhaps, in hopes of a refusal. No, sir, my directions have been given, and I insist upon their being complied with.
Sir William. Thou amiable woman! I can no longer contain the expressions of my gratitude, my pleasure. You see before you one, who has been equally careful of his interest; one, who has for some time been a concealed spectator of his follies, and only punished in hopes to reclaim him-his uncle!
Miss Richland. Sir William Honeywood! You amaze me. How shall I conceal my confusion? I fear, sir, you'll think I have been too forward in my services. I confess I
Sir William. Don't make any apologies, maSir William. For Miss Richland to undertake dam. I only find myself unable to repay the obli