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Sir Charles. Oh, yes, I take. But, by the cockade in your hat, Ollapod, you have added lately, it seems to your avocations.
Olla. My dear Sir Charles, I have now the honour to be cornet in the volunteer association corps of our town. It fell out unexpected-pop on a sudden; like the going off of a field-piece, or an alderman in an apoplexy.
Sir C. Explain.
Olla. Happening to be at home-rainy day-no going out to sport, blister, shoot, nor bleed—was busy behind the counter-You know my shop, Sir Charles-Galen's head over the door-new gilt him last week, by the by-looks as fresh as a pill.
Sir C. Well, no more on that head now-Proceed.
Olla. On that head! That's very well, very well indeed! Thank you, good sir, I owe you one-Churchwarden Posh, of our town, being ill of an indigestion, from eating three pounds of measly pork, at a vestry dinner, I was making up a cathartic for the patient; when, who should strut into the shop, but Lieutenant Grains, the brewer -sleek as a dray horse—in a smart scarlet jacket, tastily turn’d up with a rhubarb-coloured lapelle. I confess his figure struck me. I look'd at him, as I was thumping the mortar, and felt instantly inoculated with a military ardour.
Sir C. Inoculated! I hope your ardour was of a very favourable sort.
Olla. Ha! ha! That's very well-very well, indeed !Thank you, good sir, I owe you one.
We first talk'd of shooting—He knew my celebrity that way, Sir Charles. I told him, the day before, I had kill'd six brace of birds--I thump'd on at the mortar-We then talk'd of physic-I told him, the day before, I had kill'd—lost, I mean-six brace of patients—I thump'd on at the mortar-eyeing him all the while ; for he look'd mighty flashy, to be sure ; and I felt an itching to belong to the corps. The medical, and military, both deal in death, you know—so, 'twas natural. Do you take, good sir ? do you take?
Sir C. Take ? Oh, nobody can miss.
Olla. He then talk'd of the corps itself: said it was sickly: and if a professional person would administer to the health of the association-dose the men, and drench the horse—he could, perhaps, procure him a cornetcy.
Sir C. Well, you jump'd at the offer ?
Olla. Jump'd! I jump'd over the counter-kick'd down Churchwarden Posh's cathartic, into the pocket of Lieuten
ant Grains's smart scarlet jacket, tastily turn'd up with a rhubarb-coloured lapelle; embraced him and his offer, and I am now Cornet Ollapod, apothecary, at the Galen's Head, of the association corps of cavalry, at your service.
Sir C. I wish you joy of your appointment. You may now distil water for the shop, from the laurels you gather in the field. Olla. Water for-Oh! laurel water.
Come, that's very well—very well, indeed! Thank you, good sir, I owe you one.
Why, I fancy fame will follow, when the poison of a small mistake I made has ceased to operate.
Sir C. A mistake?
Olla. Having to attend Lady Kitty Carbuncle on a grand field day, I clapped a pint bottle of her ladyship's diet-drink into one of my holsters ; intending to proceed to the patient, after the exercise was over. I reach'd the martial ground, and jallop'd-gallop’d, I mean-wheeld, and flourish’d, with great eclát; but when the word “Fire". was given, meaning to pull out my pistol, in a horrible hurry, I presented, neck foremost, the villanous diet-drink of Lady Kitty Carbuncle; and the medicine being, unfortunately, fermented, by the jolting of my horse, it forced out the cork, with a prodigious pop, full in the face of my gallant commander.
Sir C. But, in the midst of so many pursuits, how proceeds practice among the ladies ? Any new faces, since I left the country?
Olla. Nothing worth an item-Nothing new arrived in our town. In the village, to be sure, hard by, Miss Emily Worthington, a most brilliant beauty has lately given lustre to the estate of Farmer Harrowby.
Sir C. My dear Doctor, the lady of all others I wish most to know. Introduce yourself to the family, and pave the way for me. Come! mount your horse—I'll explain more as you go to the stable :--but I am in a flame, in a fever, till I see you off.
Olla. In a fever ! I'll send you physic enough to fill a baggage waggon.
Sir C. [Aside.] So! a long bill as the price of his politeness!
Olla. You need not bleed; but you must have medicine.
Sir C. If I must have medicine, Ollapod, I fancy 1 shall bleed pretty freely. Olla. Come, that's
well indeed! Thank
you, good sir, I owe you one. Before dinner, a strong dose of coloquintida, senna, scammony, and gamboge;
Sir C. Oh, confound scammony and gamboge!
Olla. At night a narcotic; next day, saline draughts, camphorated julap, and —
Sir C. Zounds! only go, and I'll swallow your whole shop.
Olla. Galen, forbid ! 'Tis enough to kill every customer I have in the parish !—Then we'll throw in the bark -By the by, talking of bark, Sir Charles, that Juno of yours is the prettiest pointer
Sir C. Well, well, she is yours.
Olla. My dear Sir Charles ! such sport next shooting season! If I had but a double barrell’d gun
Sir C. Take mine that hangs in the hall.
Olla. My dear Sir Charles !—Here's a morning's work ; senna and coloquintida
[Aside. Sir C. Well, be gone then.
[Pushing him. Olla. I'm off-Scammony and gamboge. Sir C. Nay, fly, man!
Olla. I do, Sir Charles—A double-barrell'd gun-) fly -the bark—I'm going—Juno-a narcotic
Sir C. Off with you!
SPEECH OF RAAB KIUPRILI..... S. T. Coleridge.
Assembled lords and warriors of Illyria,
Would steal their heritage? To God a rebel,
Ordonio. Hail, potent wizard ! in my gayer mood
Thou hast conspired against my life and honour,
; yet I hate thee not.
I see thy heart!
Feeling! feeling !
Alv. Yon insect on the wall,
Ord. What meanest thou ?
There's poison in the wine. Ord, Thou hast guessed right; there's poison in the
Whom dost thou think me ?
I know him not.
Ord. Good ! good ! that lie! it hath restored me.
What strange solution