336

Prospects of the Season.

selves to white hats, but that the said hats still remain "chimney pots."

That your petitioner is not satisfied thereat: that he has occupied himself with endeavouring to persuade men to leave off wearing the said hats, but has only addled his brains thereby.

That in the year A.D. 1859, your Excellencies did set up a periodical yclept the Triumvirate that thereat the Emperor of the French did tremble on his throne, and his hat did tremble on the Emperor's head.

That the said periodical has acquired great influence, and that all men do bow to its edicts.

And your petitioner prayeth that your Excellencies will publish an edict, and will prohibit every man from wearing, henceforth for ever, a white or black "buster," and will use all your influence to that end. That your Excellencies will on the 22nd of July, being Sunday, set the example thereof by perambulating the streets of your town of Harrow in some new style of headdress: and that your petitioner does anticipate the immediate disappearance of the said hats henceforth and for ever, and that the Triumvirs will thereby acquire the gratitude of the whole civilized world. And if your Excellencies will not grant this humble petition, your petitioner does despair of obtaining any remedy for this grievance.

And in conclusion, your petitioner sheweth that none are so deaf as those who won't hear.

And your petitioner will every pray, &c.

འ.

PROSPECTS OF THE SEASON.

ALAS! alas! see the floods on the ground,
Every bird and hare is sure to be drowned;

The grouse will sit on the top of the hill,

And our bag on the 12th will be almost "nil;"

Here and there an old cock who has 'scaped the rain,

Perhaps by the gun will remain to be slain,

But as for our killing a single partridge,

There won't be a chance without green cartridge:

Prospects of the Season.

If any young birds should survive the streams,
Fool is the man who fondly deems

That he'll shoot them full-feathered upon the 1st;
I for one, shall prepare for the worst,
And think myself lucky to bag two brace
In a morning's work, or twice that space:
They'll all be diseased with gapes or not,
Or falling sickness, or heaven knows what;
And leave their corpses the prey of crows,
To be pointed afar by our setter's nose.
How tired I feel oft after walking through heather
For miles and miles without touching a feather,
Only getting a shot at a cunning old cock,
Whose "cobeck" sounds loud my labour to mock,
As he flies unharmed 'mid a storm of "4,"
Which both my barrels instantly pour.

And oh! how oft when the weather's been wild,
My temper has been most uncommonly "riled,"
By hearing the grouse on the mountain wall
By fifties and sixties incessantly call;
And as for approaching the wary old pack!
The only chance is to lie flat on your back,
Send some cautious Scotch gillies to drive them o'er,
And fire in the midst, you may kill three or four;
Don't think it a shame thus the wretches to "pot,"
If they will sit on walls, you'll ne'er else get a shot.
Then down comes the rain in a driving shower,
And your gun misses fire ten times in the hour.
Since you're driven to lunch in the open air,
There's water gratis and plenty to spare;

As you seek the known spring some water to gain
To mix with the whiskey, you find that the rain
Has turned it to such a ferruginous hue,
That neat you must drink the "mountain dew."
Then finally feeling 'tis no more use,

And sending each dripping bird to the deuce,
You walk slowly home like a half-drowned sinner,
Pull off your wet clothes and prepare for dinner.

X.

337

THE END OF THE SEASON.

THE end of the Season is present at last,

Dejeuners, dinners, balls, routs, are now as the past-
Away to the sea, to the Rhine, to the moors,

The great stream of Fashion excitedly pours.

The tired London swell with his "hee" and his “haw,”
Votes everything passé and London a "baw."

While manoeuvring mothers set out with their train
Of unmarried daughters to Ryde once again.

have been

Mr.
Jones to wife, "
says
our expenses
"Far too large this last season, so I do not mean
"To allow you to go into France as you hope,
"Nor into the States of his highness the Pope.
"But to Ramsgate or Margate, whichever you choose,
"Unless you are anxious next Season to lose."
Mrs. Jones cuts up rough for a moment or two,
Then faints right away as she sees it wont do.
Captain Cheatemallsoundly to Baden repairs,

There with Picquet and Hazard to improve his affairs.
So everyone goes to obtain change of air,

And with new scenes and sunshine their health to repair.
And soon too the Harrow Vacation will come,

After fourteen weeks' labour and then we go home.
Now I cannot but wish that the sun's golden rays
May attend us and brighten our long holidays.

END OF VOL. I.

Printed and Published by
CROSSLEY AND CLARKE,

HARROW-ON-THE-HILL.

S.

WE sees to its pristine severity. We

E would willingly see the law of England restored in

do not indeed intend to advocate the re-introduction of the punishment of death to its former prominent place in our penal code, for the humanity of a less philanthropical age than the present has resolved this question, and far be it from us at the present day to appeal against their decision. But that which does appear to us likely to contribute, partially at least, to the repressal of the drunkenness and vice still unhappily so prevalent in the country, is the restoration of such discarded institutions as the Stocks and the Whipping-Post. Antiquated doubtless they are, but, whatever may have been the reasons which first caused their suppressal, we still lean to the opinion that some crimes, Vol. II.

2

Mores Majorum.

which, though not worthy of punishments of the severer class, are yet a disgrace to the name of a man and of an Englishman, might by their means be in some measure checked. And among these, drunkenness would hold the first place; a crime far too common, we fear, in this country, and which doubtless is the first incentive to a downward course, involving many crimes of a more heinous, though not more disgraceful, character. There are, we know, many districts in which this crime of drunkenness is, or has been, of such frequent occurrence, that even men generally of the steadiest morals have been not uncommonly unable to resist its temptations, and where the general class of labourers seem to be given over in greater or less degrees to the vice in question. In such cases we do not believe in the efficacy of the Pledge. Indeed, we own, we place no reliance in Teetotalism. Doubtless there are some whom the consciousness of the pledge which binds them may enable to resist the temptations of this vice, but these are single instances, and we think it, in truth, disadvantageous thus to restrict the labouring class entirely from their liquor. It is the abuse we would guard against, and we do believe that a step might be taken in this direction by the restoration of the Stocks. There were, we suppose, some disadvantages which occasioned their extinction, but we are inclined to think the advantages would counterbalance them, and none the less that their disuse would render them new to most at least of the present generation. And we think that many to whom a prison is no punishment, to whom it is in fact a gain to be provided with a comfortable lodging and good food, would be deterred by the disgrace from any vice which would bring such a punishment upon them. Few, we think, would venture to face the terrors of a rotten egg. There might be further added a spicing of the whip to render the dose more efficacious, and we should expect that the whole prescription would then produce a salutary effect. Indeed a case which met our eyes in a daily paper but the other day aptly illustrates the effect produced by these and the like punishments. We cannot now recall the precise words used by the author of the notice, but the case stood as follows. Two young females of the classes above referred to, were the other day observed attending with uncommon anxiety to a gentleman whose appearance led to the belief that he was intoxicated, a belief which was afterwards sub