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CONTAINING THE GREAT ADDRESS OF THE LANDLADY, THE

GREAT LEARNING OF A SURGEON, AND THE SOLID SKILL IN CASUISTRY OF THE WORTHY LIEUTENANT.

When the wounded man was carried to his bed, and the house began again to clear up from the hurry which this accident had occasioned, the landlady thus addressed the commanding officer : “I am afraid, sir,” said she, “this young man did not behave himself as well as he should do to your honors ; and if he had been killed, I suppose he had put his desarts : to be sure, when gentlemen admit inferior parsons into their company, they oft to keep their distance; but, as my first husband used to say, few of 'em know how to do it. For my own part, I am sure I should not have suffered any fellows to include themselves into gentlemen's company; but I thoft he had been an officer himself, till the sergeant told me he was but a recruit.

“ Landlady," answered the lieutenant, “you mistake the whole matter. The young man behaved himself extremely well, and is, I believe, a much better gentleman than the ensign who abused him. If the young fellow dies, the man who struck him will have most reason to be sorry for it ; for the regiment will get rid of a very troublesome fellow, who is a scandal to the army; and if he escapes from the hands of justice, blame me, madam, that's all."

“ Ay! ay! good lackaday ! ” said the landlady; "who could have thoft it? Ay, ay, ay, I am satisfied your honor will see justice done ; and to be sure it oft to be to every one. Gentlemen oft not to kill poor folks without answering for it. A poor man hath a soul to be saved, as well as his betters."

“ Indeed, madam,” said the lieutenant, “you do the volunteer wrong: I dare swear he is more of a gentleman than the officer.”

“Ay!” cries the landlady ; "why, look you there, now : well, my first husband was a wise man; he used to say you can't always know the inside by the outside. Nay, that might have been well enough too; for I never saw'd him till he was all over blood. Who would have thoft it? mayhap, some young gentleman crossed in love. Good lackaday, if he should die, what a concern it will be to his parents! why, sure the devil must possess the wicked wretch to do such an act. To be

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sure, he is a scandal to the army, as your honor says; for most of the gentlemen of the army that ever I saw are quite different sort of people, and look as if they would scorn to spill any Christian blood as much as any men : I mean, that is, in a civil way, as my first husband used to say. To be sure, when they come into the wars, there must be bloodshed; but that they are not to be blamed for. The more of our enemies they kill there, the better; and I wish, with all my heart, they could kill every mother's son of them.”

“O fie, madam !” said the lieutenant, smiling ; “all is rather too bloody-minded a wish.”

“ Not at all, sir,” answered she ; “I am not at all bloodyminded, only to our enemies ; and there is no harm in that. To be sure, it is natural for us to wish our enemies dead that the wars may be at an end, and our taxes be lowered; for it is a dreadful thing to pay as we do. Why, now, there is above forty shillings for window lights, and yet we have stopped up all we could : we have almost blinded the house, I am sure. Says I to the exciseman, says I, I think you oft

. to favor us ; I am sure we are very good friends to the government; and so we are for sartain, for we pay a mint of money to 'um. And yet I often think to myself the government doth not imagine itself more obliged to us than to those that don't pay 'um a farthing. Ay, ay, it is the way of the world.”

She was proceeding in this manner, when the surgeon entered the room. The lieutenant immediately asked how his patient did.

But he resolved him only by saying, “Better, I believe, than he would have been by this time if I had not been called ; and even as it is, perhaps it would have been lucky if I could have been called sooner.” “I hope, sir,” said the lieutenant, “the skull is not fractured." “

Hum," cries the surgeon, “ fractures are not always the most dangerous symptoms. Contusions and lacerations are often attended with worse phenomena, and with more fatal consequences, than fractures. People who know nothing of the matter conclude if the skull is not fractured all is well ; whereas, I had rather see a man's skull broke all to pieces than some contusions I have met with.” “I hope,” says the lieutenant, “there are no such symptoms here.” “Symptoms,” answered the surgeon, are not always regular nor constant.

I have known very unfavorable symptoms in the morning change to favorable ones at noon, and return to unfavorable again at night. Of wounds, indeed, it is rightly and truly said, Nemo repente fuit turpissimus. I was once, I remember, called to a patient who had received a violent contusion in his tibia, by which the exterior cutis was lacerated, so that there was a profuse sanguinary discharge ; and the interior membranes were so divellicated that the os or bone very plainly appeared through the aperture of the vulnus or wound. Some febrile symptoms intervening at the same time (for the pulse was exuberant and indicated much phlebotomy), I apprehended an immediate mortification. To prevent which, I presently made a large orifice in the vein of the left arm, whence I drew twenty ounces of blood ; which I expected to have found extremely sizy and glutinous, or indeed coagulated, as it is in pleuretic complaints ; but, to my surprise, it appeared rosy and florid and its consistency differed little from the blood of those in perfect health. I then applied a fomentation to the part, which highly answered the intention; and after three or four times dressing the wound began to discharge a thick pus or matter, by which means the cohesion - But perhaps I do not make myself perfectly well understood ?” “No, really,” answered the lieutenant, “I cannot say I understand a syllable.” “Well, sir,” said the surgeon, “then I shall not tire your

66 patience ; in short, within six weeks my patient was able to walk upon his legs as perfectly as he could have done before he received the contusion." "I wish, sir," said the lieutenant,

“ “you would be so kind only to inform me whether the wound this young gentleman hath had the misfortune to receive is likely to prove mortal.” “Sir,” answered the surgeon, “to say whether a wound will prove mortal or not at first dressing would be very weak and foolish presumption : we are all mortal, and symptoms often occur in a cure which the greatest of our profession could never foresee.” “But do you think him in danger ?” says the other. “In danger! ay, surely,” cries the doctor; “who is there among us who, in the most perfect health, can be said not to be in danger ? Can a man, therefore, with so bad a wound as this be said to be out of danger? All I can say at present is that it is well I was called as I

and perhaps it would have been better if I had been called sooner. I will see him again early in the morning; and in the mean time let him be kept extremely quiet, and drink liberally of water gruel.” “Won't you allow him sack whey?” said the landlady.” “Ay, ay, sack whey,” cries the doctor, “if you will,

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provided it be very small.” “And a little chicken broth too ?” added she. “Yes, yes, chicken broth,” said the doctor, “ is very good.” “ Mayn't I make him some jellies too?" said the

? landlady. “Ay, ay," answered the doctor," jellies are very good for wounds, for they promote cohesion.” And indeed it was lucky she had not named soup or high sauces, for the doctor would have complied rather than have lost the custom of the house.

The doctor was no sooner gone than the landlady began to trumpet forth his fame to the lieutenant, who had not, from their short acquaintance, conceived quite so favorable an opinion of his physical abilities as the good woman, and all the neighborhood, entertained (and perhaps very rightly); for though I am afraid the doctor was a little of a coxcomb, he might be nevertheless very much of a surgeon.

The lieutenant having collected from the learned discourse of the surgeon that Mr. Jones was in great danger, gave orders for keeping Mr. Northerton under a very strict guard, designing in the morning to attend him to a justice of peace, and to commit the conducting the troops to Gloucester to the French lieutenant, who, though he could neither read, write, nor speak any language, was, however, a good officer.

In the evening, our commander sent a message to Mr. Jones that if a visit would not be troublesome, he would wait on him. This civility was very kindly and thankfully received by Jones, and the lieutenant accordingly went up to his room, where he found the wounded man much better than he expected; nay, Jones assured his friend that if he had not received express orders to the contrary from the surgeon, he should have got up long ago, for he appeared to himself to be as well as ever, and felt no other inconvenience from his wound but an extreme soreness on that side of his head.

“I should be very glad,” quoth the lieutenant, “ if you were as well as you fancy yourself, for then you would be able to do yourself justice immediately ; for when a matter can't be made up, as in case of a blow, the sooner you take him out the better; but I am afraid you think yourself better than you are, and he would have too much advantage over you.”

“I'll try, however,” answered Jones, “if you please, and will be so kind as to lend me a sword, for I have none here of

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my own.”

“My sword is heartily at your service, my dear boy,” cries the lieutenant, kissing him ; "you are a brave lad, and I love your spirit; but I fear your strength ; for such a blow, and so much loss of blood, must have very much weakened you ; and though you feel no want of strength in your bed, yet you most probably would after a thrust or two. I can't consent to your taking him out to-night; but I hope you will be able to come up with us before we get many days' march advance ; and I give you my honor you shall have satisfaction, or the man who hath injured you shan't stay in our regiment.

“I wish,” said Jones, " it were possible to decide this matter to-night: now you have mentioned it to me I shall not be able to rest.”

“Oh, never think of it,” returned the other ; "a few days will make no difference. The wounds of honor are not like those in your body: they suffer nothing by the delay of cure. It will be altogether as well for you to receive satisfaction a week hence as now."

“But suppose," says Jones, “I should grow worse, and die of the consequences of my present wound ?”

“ Then your honor," answered the lieutenant, “will require no reparation at all. I myself will do justice to your character, and testify to the world your intention to have acted properly

had recovered." “Still," replied Jones, “I am concerned at the delay. I am almost afraid to mention it to you who are a soldier; but though I have been a very wild young fellow, still in my most serious moments, and at the bottom, I am really a Christian.”

“So am I too, I assure you," said the officer ; "and so zealous a one that I was pleased with you at dinner for taking up the cause of your religion ; and I am a little offended with you now, young gentleman, that you should express a fear of declaring your faith before any one.'

“But how terrible must it be,” cried Jones, “ to any one who is really a Christian, to cherish malice in his breast in opposition to the command of Him who hath expressly forbid it? How can I bear to do this on a sick bed? Or how shall I make up my account, with such an article as this in my bosom against me?”

Why, I believe there is such a command,” cries the lieutenant; “but a man of honor can't keep it. And you must be a man of honor if you will be in the army. I remember I once put the case to our chaplain over a bowl of punch, and

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