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The M--- of Q--- N's, with his coach full of TULLY,
Came into the court, and endeavour'd to bully,
Crying I've no occafion to preach up my merit,
I'm a hopeful young lad -- you have B's word for it.
Friend JOHN, quoth the judge, thou'ft no fhare in the
To much dullness, a critic fhould add fome ill-nature;
In thy tail and thy notes, we like impotence find,
For a critic and husband thou ne'er was defign'd,
TOM B-- next buftled to prefer his petition,
But was jostled afide by the STAMFORD-PHYSICIAN.
In his hand he the text of EURIPIDES brought,
Piping hot from the prefs, but the notes were forgot.
He's defir'd by the court, he'd not trouble their patience,
PARACELSUS and ZOILUS were never relations;
So off brush'd the critic to his pills and his boxes,
From patching up authors, to curing of poxes..
Up H-- T ftarts, and cries look ye here,
Une nouvelle traduction dat cut down DACIER;
For de metre let B -- and H- - fight and quarrel,
De frenchman, begar, fir, muft fhow you de moral.
What moral, you dog, cry'd the court in a pet,
Di dever a critic turn moralift yet?
O'er vanquish'd librarians we challenge our praise,
Let LANEY write morals, or the mafter of keys ?
With that they untrufs'd the bold critic of PARIS,.......
And gave him the nettle, but over his bare arse:
The fmart of the difcipline dampt his pretenfions,
And he fcour'd back to whifk with his cully pebrenfians?
At length the vice can: with his three pfeudo 'fquires
Stalks in, and the caufe of the tumult enquires;
For men of the gown fuch deportments not fitting,
Nor find I a statute for any fuch meeting.
The judge fmil'd at the joke, and the fquabble to fettle,
Said, faith, lets decree this ftern CATO the nettle :
He, alone, the true critical notion has hit,
For his edicts-declare much.fpite, and no wit.
Grabftreet Journal, No 38.
The underwritten are by the Author of the ODE to his Grace the D. of BUCKINGHAM.
UNGUS, by a peculiar knack,
Cou'd money draw from griping friends;
When, of his word, he'd bounce and crack,
And swear he'd make them rich amends.
Obferve; now he the rhino's got,
The favours vanifh'd from his mind; Alike the friend and loan forgot,
He gives his promise to the wind,
But lately it was buzz'd about,
FUNG was another creature grown: Had ftopt the clamours of the rout,
And justly paid each man his own.
I, with the reft, had learnt by wrote
This change, refolv'd that all fhould know it
Alas! I quickly chang'd my note,
When fame declar'd poor FUNG a poet.
The following Copy of Verfes was fent by a Gentleman who writes himfelf PHILO-GRUBÆUS.. They feem to be writ with fome Spirit, which made me infert them in this Paper, tho I differ in Sentiment from the Author.
Difce docendus adhuc, quæ cenfet Amiculus-
XFORD or CAMBRIDGE wag, attend
The hum-drum counsel of a friend :
For politic quit lib'ral arts;
To party facrifice your parts:
Yet glofs your penfionary zeal
With pure regard, of public-weal.
Write not like DRAFIER, or JOHN BULL;
But ministerial be, and dull.
Propofe as patterns of thy pen,
Stiff H--,pert B- -, evasive B --.
To R fawn like fpanial dog,
Growl like a mongrel against FoG;
'Gainft CALEB fhew your grinning spite,.
And fnarl, tho' impotent to bite,
Hop'ft thou a P -- to be made?
Then defecrate thy holy trade;
Glafp thy old-fashion'd useless bible;
Write a prolix infipid libel:
Was't thou a prophet, or a feer;
What then? if yet no pamphleteer.
At all reveal'd religion laugh,
And idolize the golden calf.
Enjoy'st thou a poetic vein,
Fiction will find an ample plain:
Abfurd A-s commend,
And blund'ring T--s without end.
Haft thou a talent for difpute?
Prove H--wife, le H-- no brute:
Whether FRANCE D-- does repair,
Nor is, nor ought to be our care:
That human treaties cannot bind
The lawless power of fea or wind:
Louis and NEPTUNE are great odds:
And who would fight against the gods?
To fhew by dint of logic strive,
That merchants moft by loffes thrive;
Demonftrate that a Sp---fleet
Can fail at anchor, peaceful beat:
But argue not in form and mood,
Left haply you are understood.
If fond of wit, to virtue prone,
Thou fcorn'ft to turn a fcribbling drone;
Mark the prophetick words of GRUB,
Thou'lt live and die a learned fcrub.
To my ingenious Friend Mr. BONEWITZ, on his drawing a curious Picture of a CHELSEA-PENSIONER, aged 110.
HO' thy all-mimic pencil well can trace:
Each fofteft feature of dear CHLOE's face;
Her cheek can rival in it's native die,
Can ftrike the living brilliant of her eye;
Nicer the task, and bolder the defign,
To paint this vet'ran in his bright decline,
Who bravely has o'er-leap'd life's ftated line,
The wondrous man on a new ftage appears,
Green, and triumphant o'er the spoil
His term protracted to uncommon length,
Surmounting dotage, he acquires fresh ftrength,
Referv'd the hero feems by heav'nly will,
A rare occafion for thy matchlefs kill:
Nature well-pleas'd may with her fav'rite part,"
Safely confin'd to thy immortal art.
Grubftreet Journal, No 40.
The COMPLAINT, a LYRIC RHAPSODY, addrefs'd to his Genius, by JAMES Drake.
EAVE, teizing principle, my breaft, And ruffle its foft calm no more, Thou'rt now an irksome, hated gueft, Whose fmiles no longer I implore..
Begone, with thy delufive joys,
Nor tempt me to invoke thy stay;
Fatal, as once the SYREN's voice
To failors on the tackless way.
Why, fweetly whifpering in my ear,
Did'ft thou to learning's paths invite ?
Better, O fcience! bought to dear,
I'd wanted ftill thy radient light.
After comparing himfelf modefty to COLUMBUS, and taking notice of the different fate that attended them; that difcoverer having been amply rewarded with gold, and himself having met with no manner of encouragement; he proceeds.
Not that ambition me feduc'd
To foar on fortune's painted wing
Far humbler motives ftrong induc'd
To haunt, unvex'd, the mufes fpring
Some rural cott, where angel-peace
Mild o'er the foul her influence fheds; Where pleafures flow with fweet increafe, And hairy fport on rofy beds.