Clever work, sir!—would get up prodigiously well- And though Statesmen may glory in being unbought, Hard times, sir,—most books are too dear to be read— Though the gold of Good Sense and Wit's small change are fled, Rises higher each day, and ('tis frightful to think it) However, sir-if you're for trying again, An East-India pamphlet's a thing that would tell- Should you feel any touch of poetical glow, We've a scheme to suggest-Mr. Scott, you must know, (Who, we're sorry to say it, now works for the Row), Having quitted the borders, to seek new renown, Is coming, by long quarto stages, to town; And beginning with Rokeby (the job's sure to pay) Now, the scheme is (though none of our hackneys can beat him) To start a fresh poet through Highgate to meet him; Who, by means of quick proofs-no revises-long coaches May do a few villas, before Scott approaches Indeed, if our Pegasus be not cursed shabby, He'll reach, without foundering, at least Woburn Abbey. Such, sir, is our plan-if you're up to the freak, 'Tis a match! and we'll put you in training next weekAt present, no more-in reply to this letter, a Line will oblige very much TEMPLE OF THE MUSES. Yours, et cetera. This alludes, I believe, to a curious correspondence, which is said to have passed lately between Albinia, Countess of Buckinghainshire, and a certain ingenious parodist. LETTER VIII. FROM COLONEL THOMAS TO COME to our fête,* and bring with thee Come to our fête, and show again That pea-green coat, thou pink of men! ESQ. Which charmed all eyes, that last surveyed it; Oh! come-(if haply 'tis thy week Bring thy best lace, thou gay Philander! For that night only, means to hire Thou know'st the time, thou man of lore! * This letter inclosed a card for the grand fête on the 5th of February. Quem tu, Melpomene, semel Nascentem placido lumine videris," &c.-Horace. The Man upon whom thou hast deigned to look funny, Let them say what they will, that's the Man for my money, Give others thy tears, but let me have thy mirth! The assertion that follows, however, is not verified in the instance before us: "Mum Jon equus impiger It takes to dance that chalk away. And suns grow dim beneath their tread! " But, hang this long digressive flight! Nor need'st thou mourn the transient date While some chefsd'oeuvre live to weary one, Their hour of glory past and gone With "Molly, put the kettle on!" But, bless my soul! I've scarce a leaf Of paper left-so, must be brief. This festive fête, in fact, will be The same long masquerade of rooms, Hearts are not flint, yet flints are rent, After all, however, Mr. Scott may well say to the Colonel (and, indeed, to much better wags than the Colonel), ῥαον μωμεισθαι ή μιμεισθαι. L Had sent a state-room as a present !— The same bright river 'mongst the dishes, Late hours and claret killed the old ones! So, 'stead of silver and of gold ones (It being rather hard to raise Fish of that specie now-a-days), Some Sprats have been, by Yarmouth's wish, And Gudgeons (so Vansittart told So, prythee, come—our fête will be J. T APPENDIX. LETTER IV. AMONG the papers enclosed in Dr. D-g-n-n's Letter, was found an Heroic Epistle in Latin verse, from Pope Joan to her Lover, of which, as it is rather a curious document, I shall venture to give some account. This female Pontiff was a native of England, (or, according to others, of Germany,) who, at an early age, disguised herself in male attire, and followed her lover, a young ecclesiastic, to Athens, where she studied with such effect that upon her arrival at Rome she was thought worthy of being raised to the Pontificate. This Epistle is addressed to her Lover (whom she had elevated to the dignity of Cardinal), soon after the fatal accouchement, by which her Fallibility was betrayed. She begins by reminding him tenderly of the time when they were together at Athens-when, as she says, "by Ilissus' stream We whispering walked along, and learned to speak Should soon keep all the keys of all the heavens!" Stili less (she continues to say) could they have foreseen that such a catastrophe as had happened in Council would befall them -that she The salt-cellars on the Prince's own table were in the form of an ass with panniers. "Should thus surprise the Conclave's grave decorum, And let a little Pope pop out before 'em Pope Innocent! alas, the only one That name could e'er be justly fixed upon.' She then very pathetically laments the downfall of her greatness, and enumerates the various treasures to which she is doomed to bid farewell for ever : "But oh more dear, more precious ten times over- I made thee Cardinal-thou mad'st me- ah! I have not time at present to translate any more of this Epistle; but I presume the argument which the Right Hon. Doctor and his friends mean to deduce from it is (in their usual convincing strain) that Romanists must be unworthy of Emancipation now, because they had a Petticoat Pope in the Ninth Century. Nothing can be more logically clear, and I find that Horace had exactly the same views upon the subject. Romanus (eheu posteri negabitis !) LETTER VII. THE Manuscript, found enclosed in the Bookseller's Letter, turns out to be a Melo-Drama, in two Acts, entitled "The Book," of which the Theatres, of course, had had the refusal, before it was presented to Messrs. L-ck-ngt-n and Co. This rejected Drama, however, possesses considerable merit, and I shall take the liberty of laying a sketch of it before my Readers. The first Act opens in a very awful manner-Time, three o'clock in the morning-Scene, the Bourbon Chamber* in Carlton HouseEnter the Prince Regent solus-After a few broken sentences, he thus exclaims: Away-Away Thou haunt'st my fancy so, thou devilish Book, I see thy damnèd ink in Eldon's brows I see thy foolscap on my Hertford's Spouse- And all thy black-leaves stare from R-d-r's face! Thy List of dire Errata in myself. (Walks the stage in considerable agitation.) Oh Roman Punch! oh potent Curaçoa! The same Chamber, doubtless, that was prepared for the reception of the Bourbons at the first Grand Fête, and which was ornamented (all "for the Deliverance of Europe ") with fleurs-de-lys. |