A question-like asking one, "How is your But not so the plan of our noble physicians, wife ?" At once so confounded domestic and foreign. 1 See the proceedings of the Lords, Wednesday, March 1, 1826, when Lord King was severely reproved by several of the noble Peers, for making so many speeches against the Corn Laws. This noble Earl said, that "when he heard the petition came from ladies' boot and shoemakers, he thought it must be against the 'corns' which they inflicted on the fair sex." "No Bread and the Tread-mill's" the regimen now. 3 The Duke of Athol said, that "at a former period, when these weavers were in great distress, the landed interest of Perth had supported 1500 of them. It was a poor return for these very men now to petition against the persons who had fed them." What the devil has become of this Treasury wonder? It has Pitt's name on't, All brass, in the front, "Now what, we ask, is become of this Sinking Fundthese eight millions of surplus above expenditure, which were to reduce the interest of the national debt by the amount of four hundred thousand pounds annually? Where, And R-b-ns-n's, scrawl'd with a goose-quil, indeed, is the Sinking Fund itself?"-The Times. under. Improving on Hunt,' 'tis no longer the Corn, 'Tis the growers of Corn that are now, roasted. alas! In speeches, in books, in all shapes they attack us 3 A sort of "breakfast-powder," composed of roasted corn, was about this time introduced by Mr. Hunt, as a substitute for coffee. There's B-nth-m, whose English is all his own And, as for myself, who've, like Hannibal, sworn Thou'lt find in my Speech, if thou'lt read a few Having (God grant it!) pass'd away, pages. For therein I've proved, to my own satisfaction, Collective Wisdom, shine again! Come, Ayes and Noes, through thick and thin,— Whate'er the job, prepared to back it; And that of all 'Squires I've the honor of meet-With Paddy H-Imes for whipper-in,― ing, That 'tis the most senseless and foul-mouth'd de- Come, voters of Supplies-bestowers When the Land and the Silk' shall, in fond com- Come, matchless country-gentlemen; bination, (Like Sulky and Silky, that pair in the play,“) Cry out, with one voice, for High Rents and Starvation! Long life to the Minister!-no matter who, Come, wise Sir Thomas-wisest then, When creeds and corn-laws are debated; Come, rival even the Harlot Red, And show how wholly into bread Or how dull he may be, if, with dignified spirit, Come, L-derd-e, and tell the world, he Keeps the ports shut-and the people's mouths, too, That surely as thy scratch is curl'd, As never scratch was curl'd beforeCheap eating does more harm than good, We shall all have a long run of Freddy's pros- And working-people, spoil'd by food, perity. The less they eat, will work the more. 1 The venerable Jeremy's phrase for his after-dinner walk. Cyclopædia assures us, has a particular liking for every 2 A phrase in one of Sir T-m-s's last speeches. 9 Great efforts were, at that time, making for the exclusion of foreign silk. 4" Road to Ruin." This is meant not so much for a pun, as in allusion to the natural history of the Unicorn, which is supposed to be something between the Bos and the Asinus, and, as Rees's thing "chaste." An item of expense which Mr. Hume in vain endeavored to get rid of:-trumpeters, it appears, like the men of All-Souls, must be "bene vestiti." 7 The gentleman, lately before the public, who kept his Joint-Stock Tea Company all to himself, singing "Te solo adoro." Come, G-lb-rn, with thy glib defence Come, H-rt-n, with thy plan, so merry, Not so much rendering Ireland quiet, Come all, in short, ye wondrous men Though short your absence, all deplore it— Be just as-sapient as before it. MEMORABILIA OF LAST WEEK. MONDAY, MARCH 13, 1826. WEDNESDAY. Little doing-for sacred, oh Wednesday, thou art To the seven-o'clock joys of full many a tableWhen the Members all meet, to make much of that part, With which they so rashly fell out, in the Fable. It appear'd, though, to-night, that—as church-wardens, yearly, Eat up a small baby-those cormorant sinners, The Bankrupt-Commissioners, bolt very nearly A moderate-sized bankrupt, tout chaud, for ther dinners! Nota bene-a rumor to-day, in the City, The Bulls and the Bears all fell a sobbing, Alas, poor Robin, he crow'd as long And as sweet as a prosperous Cock could crow; But his note was small, and the gold-finch's song Was a pitch too high for Robin to go. Who'll make his shroud? THE Budget quite charming and witty-no hear- "I," said the Bank, "though he play'd me a prank, ing, For plaudits and laughs, the good things that were in it ; Great comfort to find, though the Speech isn't cheering, That all its gay auditors were, every minute. What, still more prosperity!-mercy upon us, "This boy'll be the death of me"-oft as, already, Such smooth Budgeteers have genteelly undone us, For Ruin made easy there's no one like Freddy. TUESDAY. Much grave apprehension express'd by the Peers, Lest-calling to life the old Peachums and Lockitts The large stock of gold we're to have in three years, Should all find its way into highwaymen's pock ets ! 1 Sir John Newport. 2 This charge of two pipes of port for the sacramental wine is a precious specimen of the sort of rates levied upon their Catholi: fellow-parishioners by the Irish Protestants. "The thirst that from the soul doth rise Doth ask a drink divine." My tradesmen are smashing by dozens, But this is all nothing, they say; For bankrupts, since Adam, are cousins,So, it's all in the family way. My Debt not a penny takes from me, My senators vote away millions, To put in Prosperity's budget; The generous rogues wouldn't grudge it. "Tis all but a family hop, "Twas Pitt began dancing the hay; Hands round!-why the deuce should we stop? "Tis all in the family way. My laborers used to eat mutton, As any great man of the State does; And now the poor devils are put on Small rations of tea and potatoes. But cheer up, John, Sawney, and Paddy, The King is your father, they say; So, ev'n if you starve for your Daddy, "Tis all in the family way. My rich manufacturers tumble, My poor ones have nothing to chew; And, even if themselves do not grumble, Their stomachs undoubtedly do. But coolly to fast en famille, Is as good for the soul as to pray; And famine itself is genteel, When one starves in a family way. I have found out a secret for Freddy, Announces "the Devil to pay," Let him write on the bills, "Nota bene, ""Tis all in the family way." BALLAD FOR THE CAMBRIDGE ELECTION. "I authorized my Committee to take the step which they did, of proposing a fair comparison of strength, upon the understanding that whichever of the two should prove to be the weakest, should give way to the other."-Extract from Mr. W. J. B-kes's Letter to Mr. G-lb-n. B-KES is weak, and G-lb-n too, No one e'er the fact denied ;Which is "weakest" of the two, Cambridge can alone decide. Choose between them, Cambridge, pray, Which is weakest, Cambridge, say. G-lb-n of the Pope afraid is, B-kes, as much afraid as he; Never yet did two old ladies On this point so well agree. Choose between them, Cambridge, pray, Which is weakest, Cambridge, say. Each a different mode pursues, Each the same conclusion reaches; G-lb-n, foolish in his speeches. Each a different foe doth damn, When his own affairs have gone ill; B-kes he damneth Buckingham, G-lb-n damneth Dan O'Connell. Choose between them, Cambridge, pray, Which is weakest, Cambridge, say. Once, we know, a horse's neigh Fix'd th' election to a throne, Choose him, Cambridge, for thy own. |