Hurrah then for the Petticoats! To them we pledge our free-born votes; We'll have all she, and only she Pert blues shall act as "best debaters," Old dowagers our Bishops be, And termagants our Agitators. If Vestris, to oblige the nation, Her own Olympus will abandon, And help to prop th' Administration, It can't have better legs to stand on. The famed Macaulay (Miss) shall show, Each evening, forth in learn'd oration; Shall move (midst general cries of "Oh !") For full returns of population: And, finally, to crown the whole, The Princess Olive,' Royal soul, Shall from her bower in Banco Regis, Descend, to bless her faithful lieges, And, 'mid our Union's loyal chorus, Reign jollily forever o'er us. Sir, TO THE EDITOR OF THE * * Having heard some rumors respecting the strange and awful visitation under which Lord H-nl-y has for some time past been suffering, in consequence of his declared hostility to "anthems, solos, duets," &c., I took the liberty of making inquiries at his Lordship's house this morning, and lose no time in transmitting to you such particulars as I could collect. It is said that the screams of his Lordship, under the operation of this nightly concert, (which is, no doubt, some trick of the Radicals,) may be heard all over the neighborhood. The female who personates St. Cecilia is supposed to be the same that, last year, appeared in the character of Isis, at the Rotunda. How the cherubs are managed, I have Judge Midas tried the same of old, And was punish'd, like H-nl-y, for his pains. But worse on the modern judge, alas! Is the sentence launch'd from Apollo's throne; For Midas was given the ears of an ass, While H-nl-y is doom'd to keep his own! As snug in his bed Lord H-nl-y lay, Revolving much his own renown, And hoping to add thereto a ray, By putting duets and anthems down, Sudden a strain of choral sounds Mellif 1ous o'er his senses stole ; A personage, so styling herself, who attained considerable notoriety at that period. In a work on Church Reform, published by his Lordship in 1832. s "Asseyez-vous, mes enfans."-"Il n'y a pas de quot, mon Seigneur." As, once the thing's well set about, No doubt but we shall hunt him out. His Lordship's mind, of late, they say, To settle England's state affairs, To tyrant Nick from Tory Lords,— His Lordship had been learning Russian; The accents of the Northern bear, That, while his tones were in your ear, you Might swear you were in sweet Siberia. And still, poor Peer, to old and young, He goes on raving in that tongue; Tells you how much you would enjoy a *Trip to Dalnodoubrowskoya ;3 Talks of such places, by the score, on As Oulisfflirmchinagoboron,* And swears (for he at nothing sticks) That Russia swarms with Raskol-niks Though one such Nick, God knows, must A more than ample quantity. Such are the marks by which to know This stray'd or stolen Plenipo ; The unhappy statesman to his friends, On Carlton Terrace, shall have thanks, And any paper but the Bank's. P. S. Some think, the disappearance 4 Territory belonging to the mines of Kolivano-Kosskres sense. The name of a religious sect in Russia, "Il existe en Russie plusieurs sectes; la plus nombreuse est celle des Raskol-niks, ou vrai-croyants."-GAMBA, Voyage dans la Russie Méridionale. "Heaven first taught letters for some wretch's aid." POPE I've had such a dream-a frightful dream- As reading in bed I lay last night— Scarce had my eyelids time to close, And I saw-oh brightest of Church events! There was Bristol capering up to Derry, Meanwhile, while pamphlets stuff'd his pockets, (All out of date, like spent sky-rockets,) 1 Written on the passing of the memorable Bill, in the year 1833, for the abolition of ten Irish Bishoprics. 2 Literally, First Dancers. 3" And what does Moses say?"-One of the ejaculations with which this eminent prelate enlivened his famous speech on the Catholic question. As high on the floor as he doth on paper- But alas, alas! while thus so gay, Nor this the worst:-still danced they on, N. B.-As ladies in years, it seems, DICK * A CHARACTER. Or various scraps and fragments built, Borrow'd alike from fools and wits, 4 A description of the method of executing this step may be useful to future performers in the same line:-"Ce pas est composé de deux mouvemens différens, savoir, plier, et sauter sur un pied, et se rejeter sur l'autre."—Dictionnaire de Danse, art. Contre-temps. Dick's mind was like a patchwork quilt, The quilt would look but shy, God wot. And thus he still, new plagiaries seeking, For, 'stead of Dick through others speaking, Now best of Whigs, now worst of rats; Poor Dick!-and how else could it be? A sort of mental fricassee, Made up of legs and wings of thought— A dinner, yesterday, of wits, A CORRECTED REPORT OF SOME LATE "Then I heard one saint speaking, and another saint said unto that saint." 1834. ST. S-NCL-R rose and declared in sooth, 1"He objected to the maintenance and education of a clergy bound by the particular vows of celibacy, which, as it were, gave them the church as their only family, making it fill the places of father and mother and brother."-Debate on the Grant to Maynooth College, The Times, April 19. 2 "It had always appeared to him that between the Catholic and Protestant a great gulf intervened, which rendered it impossible," &c. 3"The Baptist might acceptably extend the offices of religion to the Presl yterian and the Independent, or the And though your Liberals, nimble as fleas, To the Harlot ne'er would he point his toe. St. M-n-d-v-le was the next that ruse,- Which he couldn't, in truth, so much condemn, Next jump'd St. J-hust-n jollily forth, member of the Church of England to any of the other three; but the Catholic," &c. 4"Could he then, holding as he did a spiritual office in the Church of Scotland, (cries of hear, and laughter,) with any consistency give his consent to a grant of money?" &c. 5 "I am a wise fellow, and, which is more, an officer." Much Ado about Nothing. 6"What, he asked, was the use of the Reformation? What was the use of the Articles of the Church of England, or of the Church of Scotland ?" &c. |