Carrying inside a bard or two, Ye Gods! how different is the story Raise but one general blast of Puff Old Socrates, that pink of sages, But, neat as are old L-nd-st's doings- The urchin's freaks, the vett an's gall, Yes, Mischief, Goddess multiform, Of injury and insult too; The stamp of Stanley's brazen front. Ireland, we're told, means land of Ire; 1 Quandoque bonus dormitat Homerus.-HORAT. 2 "Swelter'd venom, sleeping got, Boil thou first i' the charmed pot." Again thou❜lt see, when forth hath gone Shall swarm from out their mountain nests, Shall Rockites and right reverends reign; But form is all fudge 'twixt such " comrogues" as we, Who, whate'er the smooth views we, in public, may drive at, As, except when some tithe-hunting parson show'd Some rector-a cool hand at pistols and port, Shooting his "dearly beloved," like partridges ;- A contrivance more neat, I may say, without flat- Than e'er yet was thought of for bloodshed and battery; So neat, that even I might be proud, I allow, Like you, Reformation in Church and in State And one may be hung up on t'other, henceforth, Have both the same praiseworthy object, in pri- Just to show what such Captains and Chancellors vate Namely, never to let the old regions of riot, were worth. Where Rock hath long reign'd, have one instant of But we must not despair-even already Hope sees You're about, my bold Baron, to kick up a breeze quiet, But keep Ireland still in that liquid we've taught Of the true baffling sort, such as suits me and you, Who have box'd the whole compass of party right her To love more than meat, drink, or clothing-hot water. All the difference betwixt you and me, as I take it, Seem all made express for the Rock-boys to frac ture. Not Birmingham's self-to her shame be it spo ken through, And care not one farthing, as all the world knows, But, hark, there's a shot!-some parsonic practitioner? No-merely a bran-new Rebellion Commissioner; E'er made things more neatly contrived to be The Courts having now, with true law erudition, broken; And hence, I confess, in this island religious, Put even Rebellion itself "in commission." 1 Exchequer tithe processes, served under a commission of rebellion.-Chronicle. In the mean time, hurrah for the Tories and Rocks! If that "Lord," in his well-known discernment, but Hurrah for the parsons who fleece well their flocks! CAPTAIN ROCK IN LONDON LETTER FROM THE CAPTAIN TO TERRY ALT, ESQ.' HERE I am, at head-quarters, dear Terry, once more, Deep in Tory designs, as I've oft been before:For, bless them! if 'twasn't for this wrong-headed crew, You and I, Terry Alt, would scarce know what to do; So ready they're always, when dull we are growing, To play, in such concert, the true double-base. In short, he's all right; and, if mankind's old foe, My "Lord Harry" himself-who's the leader, we know, Of another red-hot Opposition, below 1 The subordinate officer or lieutenant of Captain Rock. spares Me and L-ndh-t, to look after Ireland's affairs, We shall soon such a region of devilment make it, That Old Nick himself for his own may mistake it Even already-long life to such Big-wigs, say I, Let each syllable dark the Law-Oracle utter'd While voices, from sweet Connemara afar, Still th' echoes may quote Law authority for it, And naught L-ndh-t cares for my spread of dominion, So he, in the end, touches cash "for th' opinion." THE FUDGES IN ENGLAND. THE FUDGES BEING A SEQUEL TO "THE FUDGE FAMILY IN PARIS." PREFACE. Poor "Pa" hath popp'd off-gone, as charity judges, Now wants but a husband, with requisites mat,— THE name of the country town, in England-a well-known fashionable watering-place-in which the events that gave rise to the following correspondence occurred, is, for obvious reasons, suppressed. The interest attached, however, to the facts and personages of the story, renders it independent of all time and place; and when it is recollected that the whole train of romantic circumstances so fully unfolded in these Letters has passed during the short period which has now elapsed since the great Meetings in Exeter Hall, due credit will, it is hoped, be allowed to the Editor for the rapidity with which he has brought the details before the Public; while, at the same time, any errors that may have been All brought to the hammer, for Church competithe result of such haste will, he trusts, with equal consideration, be pardoned. THE FUDGES IN ENGLAND. What say you, Dick? doesn't this tempt your ambition ? The whole wealth of Fudge, that renown'd man of pith, tion, [with. Sole encumbrance, Miss Fudge to be taken thereThink, my boy, for a Curate how glorious a catch! While, instead of the thousands of souls you now watch, To save Biddy Fudge's is all you need do; You may ask, Dick, how comes it that I, a poor elf, Wanting substance even more than your spiritual [shelf, self, Should thus generously lay my own claims on the FROM PATRICK MAGAN, ESQ., TO THE REV. RICHARD When, God knows! there ne'er was young gentle LETTER I. -, CURATE OF , IN IRELAND. WHO d'ye think we've got here?-quite reform'd from the giddy, man yet So much lack'd an old spinster to rid him from debt, Or had cogenter reasons than mine to assail her Fantastic young thing, that once made such a With tender love-suit-at the suit of his tailor. noise Why, the famous Miss Fudge-that delectable But thereby there hangs a soft secret, my friend, Biddy, Whom you and I saw once at Paris, when boys, Ere time had reduced her to wrinkles and prayers, Which thus to your reverend breast I commend: While her figure-oh, bring all the gracefullest By the way, I've just heard, in my walks, a report, wings, Not a single new grace to that form could they teach, Ne'er, in short, was there creature more form'd to bewilder A gay youth like me, who of castles aërial (And only of such) am, God help me! a builder; Still peopling each mansion with lodgers ethereal, And now, to this nymph of the seraph-like eye, Letting out, as you see, my first floor next the sky.1 But, alas! nothing's perfect on earth—even she, This divine little gipsy, does odd things some.times; Talks learning-looks wise, (rather painful to see,) However, let's hope for the best-and, meanwhile, Be it mine still to bask in the niece's warm smile; While you, if you're wise, Dick, will play the gallant (Uphill work, I confess) to her Saint of an Aunt. Think, my boy, for a youngster like you, who've a lack, Not indeed of rupees, but of all other specie, What 'uck thus to find a kind witch at your back, An o.d goose with gold eggs, from all debts to release ye; Never mind, tho' the spinster be reverend and thin, The Church tumblers from Exeter Hall for te week; And certainly ne'er did a queerer or rummer set Throw, for th' amusement of Christians, a summer. set. "Tis fear'd their chief "Merriman," C-ke, cannot come, Being called off, at present, to play Punch at home; And the loss of so practised a wag in divinity Will grieve much all lovers of jokes on the Triity; His pun on the name Unigenitus, lately Having pleased Robert Taylor, the Reveres. greatly. "Twill prove a sad drawback, if absent he be, As a wag Presbyterian's a thing quite to see; And, 'mong the Five Points of the Calvinists, re of 'em Ever yet reckon❜d a point of wit one of 'em As C-ke takes the Ground Tumbling, he the Suilime ;* And of him we're quite certain, so, pray, come in time. LETTER II. FROM MISS BIDDY FUDGE TO MRS. ELIZABETH What are all the Three Graces to her Three per Just in time for the post, dear, and monstrously And Love never looks half so pleased, as when, bless In this little brain till bewilder'd and dizzy, him! he Sings to an old lady's purse "Open, Sesamé." 1 That floor which a facetious garreteer called "le premier en descendant du ciel." 2 See the Dublin Evening Post, of the 9th of this month, (July.) for an account of a scene which lately took place at a meeting of the Synod of Ulster, in which the performance of the above-mentioned part by the personage in question appears to have been worthy of all its former reputation in that line. "Twixt heaven and earth, I scarce know what I do. "All are punsters if they have wit to be so; and there fore when an Irishman has to commence with a Bull, y will naturally pronounce it a bull. (A laugh.) Allow me to bring before you the famous Bull that is called Unigen.us. referring to the only-begotten Son of God."—Report of the Rev. Doctor's speech, June 20, in the Record Newspaper. In the language of the play-bills, Grouad and Lefty Tumbling." |