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to Tunbridge. Queasy came. Nothing could equal his astonishment and dismay when he was told the
“ No such place as the Rascally estate! Then I'm an undone man! an undone man!” cried poor Queasy, bursting into tears: “ but I'm certain it's impossible ; and you'll find, sir John, you've been misinformed. I would stake my life upon it, miss Sharperson's a rich heiress, and has a rich grandmother. Why, she's five hundred pounds in my debt, and I know of her being thousands and thousands in the books of as good men as myself, to whom I've recommended her, which I wouldn't have done for my life if I had not known her to be solid. You'll find she'll prove a rich heiress, sir John.”
Sir John hoped so, but the proofs were not yet satisfactory. Queasy determined to inquire about her payments to certain creditors at Blackheath, and promised to give a decisive answer in the morning. O’Mooney saw that this man was too great a fool to be a knave; his perturbation was evidently the perturbation of a dupe, not of an accomplice: Queasy was made to “ be an anvil, not a hammer.” In the midst of his own disappointment, our good-natured Hibernian really pitied this poor currier.
The next morning sir John went early to Blackheath. All was confusion at miss Sharperson's house; the steps covered with grates and furniture of all sorts; porters carrying out looking-glasses, Egyptian tables, and candelabras ; the noise of
workmen was heard in every apartment; and louder than all the rest, O'Mooney heard the curses that were denounced against his rich heiress—curses such as are bestowed on a swindler in the moment of detection by the tradesmen whom she has ruined.
Our hero, who was of a most happy temper, congratulated himself upon having, by his own wit and prudence, escaped making the practical bull of marrying a female swindler.
Now that Phelim's immediate hopes of marrying a rich heiress were over, his bet with his brother appeared to him of more consequence, and he rejoiced in the reflection that this was the third day he had spent in England, and that he had but once been detected.—The ides of March were come, but not passed !
My lads," said he to the workmen who were busy in carrying out the furniture from miss Shar. person's house, “ all hands are at work, I see, in saving what they can from the wreck of the Sharperson. She was as well-fitted out a vessel, and in as gallant trim, as any ship upon the face of the earth."
“ Ship upon the face of the yearth!” repeated an English porter with a sneer ; “ship upon the face of the water, you should say, master; but I take it you be's an Irishman.”
O'Mooney had reason to be particularly vexed at being detected by this man, who spoke a miserable jargon, and who seemed not to have a very extensive range of ideas. He was one of those half-witted
geniuses who catch at the shadow of an Irish bull. In fact, Phelim had merely made a lapsus linguæ, and had used an expression justifiable by the authority of the elegant and witty lord Chesterfield, who said no, who wrote—that the English navy
is the finest navy upon the face of the earth! But it was in vain for our hero to argue the point; he was detected—no matter how or by whom. But this was only his second detection, and three of his four days of probation were past.
He dined this day at captain Murray's. In the room in which they dined there was a picture of the captain, painted by Romney. Sir John, who happened to be seated opposite to it, observed that it was a very fine picture ; the more he looked at it 'the more he liked it. His admiration was at last unluckily expressed: he said “ that's an incomparable, an inimitable picture; it is absolutely more like than the original." *
A keen Scotch lady in company smiled, and repeated, “ More like than the original! Sir John, if I had not been told by my relative here that you were an Englishman, I should have set you doon, from that speech, for an Irishman.”
This unexpected detection brought the colour, for a moment, into sir John's face; but immediately recovering his presence of mind, he said, “ That was, I acknowledge, an excellent Irish bull; but in the course of my travels I have heard as good English bulls as Irish.”
* This bull was really made.
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fourth time, and this 'I'here was one man in in the laugh: a poor ■ erence M'Dermod. He 'it a grousing, near Cork, .."meiit he heard his voice, ill uncouth but honest declaimed, "Ah, my dear