Be't whiskey gill, or penny wheep,
Or onie stronger potion,
It never fails, on drinking deep,
To kittle up our notion

By night or day.

XX.

The lads and lasses blithely bent
To mind baith saul an' body,
Sit round the table, weel content,
An' steer about the toddy.

On this ane's dress, an' that ane's leuk,
They're making observations;
While some are cozie i' the neuk,

An' formin assignations

To meet some day.

XXI.

But now the L-d's ain trumpet touts,
Till a' the hills are rairin,

An' echoes back return the shouts;

His piercing words, like Highland swords Divide the joints and marrow;

His talk o' Hell, where devils dwell,

Our vera sauls does harrow *

Wï' fright that day.

XXII.

A vest, unbottom❜d boundless pit,
Fill'd fou o' lowin brunstane,

Shakspeare's Hamlet.

Wha's ragin flame, an' scorchin heat,
Wad melt the hardest whunstane!
The half-asleep start up wi' fear,

An' think they hear it roarin,
When presently it does appear
"Twas but some neebor snorin,
Asleep that day.

XXIII.

"Twad be owre lang a tale to tell,
How monie stories past,

An' how they crowded to the yill,
When they were a' dismist;
How drink gaed round, in cogs an' caups
Amang the furms an' benches;

An' cheese an' bread, frae women's laps,
Was dealt about in lunches

An' dawds that day.

XXIV.

In comes a gaucie, gash guidwife,
An' sits down by the fire,
Syne draws her kebbuck an' her knife,
The lasses they are shyer.
The auld guidmen, about the grace,
Frae side to side they bother,
Till some ane by his bonnet lays,
An' gies them't like a tether
Fu' lang that day.

XXV.

Waesucks! for him that gets no lass

Or lasses that hae naething!

Sma' need has he to say a grace,
Or melvie his braw claething'
O wives, be mindfu' ance yoursel'
How bonie lads ye wanted!
An' dinna, for a-kebbuck heel,
Let lasses be affronted,

On sic a day!

عله

XXVI.

Now Clinkumbell, wi' rattlin tow,
Begins to jow an' croon;

Some swagger hame the best they dow,

Some wait the afternoon.

At slaps the billies halt a blink,
Till lasses strip their shoon;

Wi' faith an' hope, an' love an' drink,
They're a' in famous tune

For crack that day.

XXVII.

How monie heats this day converts,

O' sinners and o' lasses!

Their hearts o' stane, gin night are gane,

As saft as onie flesh is.

There's some are fou o' love divine;

There's some are fou o' brandy;

An' monie jobs that day begin,
May end in Houghmagandie,
Some ither day.

THE ORDINATION.

For sense they little owe to frugal Heav'n --
To please the mob they hide the little giv'n.

I.

KILMARNOCK Wabsters fidge an' claw
An' pour your creeshie nations;
An' ye wha leather rax an' draw,
Of a' denominations:

Swith to the Laigh Kirk, ane an' a',
An' there tak up your stations;
Then aff to Begbie's in a raw,
An' pour divine libations

For joy his day.

II.

Curst Common Sense, that imp o' hell,
Cam in wi' Maggie Lauder; *

But O

An' R —

This day, M'

aft made her yell,

sair misca'd her;

takes the flail,

An' he's the boy will blaud her!
He'll clap a shangan on he tail,

An' set the bairns to daud her

Wi' dirt this day.

* Alluding to a scoffing ballad which was made on the admission

"the late reverend and worthy Mr. L. to the Laigh Kirk.

III.

Mak haste an' turn King David owre,

An' lilt wi' holy clangor;

O' double verse come gie us four,
An' skirl up the Bangor:

This day the Kirk kicks up a stoure,
Nae mair the knaves shall wrang her
For heresy is in her power,

And gloriously she'll whang her
Wi' pith this day.

IV.

Come, let a proper text be read,
An' touch it aff wi' vigor,

How graceless Ham* leugh at his Dad,
Which made Canaan a nigger;
Or Phineas† drove the murdering blade,
Wi' whore-abhorring rigor;

Or Zipporah, † the scaulding jade,

Was like a bluidy tiger

I' the inn that day

V.

There, try his mettle on the creed,

And bind him down wi' caution,

That Stipend is a carnal weed
He taks but for the fashion;
And gie him o'er the flock, to feed,
And punish each transgression;

* Genesis, ch. ix. ver. 22.
↑ Numbers, ch. xxv. ver. 8.
Exodus, ch. iv ver 25

*