break away to wrestle for the greater blessing on which her de- sires were fastened. It was in this state of mind, that towards the close of the protracted meeting, she joined a small assembly for prayer, and solicited an interest in the supplications of her fellow christians. Her appearance, and the indescribable earnestness with which she spoke, will not soon be forgotten by those who witnessed it. "My christian friends," said she " I wish you to make me a subject of your prayers; and I wish you to pray with all the faith you have. I have a trembling hope, but I wish to have it strengthened, that I may be better qualified to discharge the duties of my station." Previous to her attendance on this meeting, she had observed to her mother, "I am determined, if I can, to find my Savior this night;" and while on her way, she felt, as she said, this thought taking entire possession of her soul, "Let God be glorified." The little circle scarcely needed so thrilling an appeal to their christian sympathy. They knelt in prayer, and their requests were heard. It is not the writer's purpose to dwell upon the striking circumstances attendant upon the scene. It was glorious indeed, as the manifested presence of God to her soul, blessing her with his abundant grace. Her capacities were filled, and in the midst of her triumphant rejoicing, she was constrained to say, "No more Lord, no more, thy poor servant can bear no more." To dwell on the rapturous emotions of that hour, might discourage others who would perhaps, deem such or similar ones necessary in their own case,-forgetful that God has diverse modes of operation, and that the kind, not the intensity of feeling manifested, is the true criterion of piety. Suffice it then to say, that from this moment the cloud departed, and a light glorious as the noon-day radiance was shed over her soul. She rejoiced with "joy unspeakable and full of glory." An entire change seemed to have taken place in her feelings. Her natural timidity vanished; her reserve gave way to a lovely readiness in the communication of her thoughts and feelings; and from that period till her death, she had nothing like a shade of distrust or despondency: all was firm, assured, triumphant trust in God; and a delightful foretaste of those coming joys, for which, as it soon appeared, He was preparing her soul. She seemed to walk habitually in the light of God's countenance. Her converse with her Savior was child-like and sweet. Her views of duty were clear and decisive. The bible was her constant companion: she could not bear to leave it, and even while her cherished babe lay on her arms, renewing its little life from her bosom, God's word was out-spread before her. It was no longer a sealed book: his glory was written on every page. The Savior breathed consolation and encouragement in every promise. Her closet was visited with unwonted frequency. Her natural taste for music, which had been laid aside as painfully associated in its exercise, with her days of distress and gloom, revived; and prayer and praise seemed her constant employment. The house of God was indeed a delight; and strangers who saw her, as she sat listening to the truth, or joining in devotion, marked such a blended expression of sweet humility, sincerity, and heartfelt enjoyment, that their attention was arrested, and they were often heard to say, they were sure Mrs. must be of a lovely disposition, and truly happy. Her feelings at first so rapturous, from their contrast to the wretchedness and despondency of thirteen years, subsided gradually into that happy state of mind, so beautifully described in one of our sacred lyrics "That sweet repose, Which none but he that feels it knows. This heavenly calm within the breast, In reading the description of Mrs. Edwards' state of mind, as given in Dwight's life of President Edwards, which she had never before seen, she frequently remarked how similar the feelings there described, were to her own. In one instance particularly, on the morning after the prayer meeting above described, she seemed to have such a near approach to God, as the writer has never elsewhere witnessed. Occupied in holy contemplation, in apparent converse with her Savior, thinking as it were aloud, and unmindful of the presence of any one, she had a depth of feeling, an elevation of thought, a child-like simplicity, an aptness of expression, a gushing forth of gratitude, humility, and adoring love, which no language can adequately describe. It was the holy and meek familiarity of a child of God, owned, and blessed, and bringing with enlarged capacities, its burden of thankfulness for deliverance and welcome. Her prayer was the breathing desire of one who felt and knew that she should not be denied; while she left with Him who best understood her needs, the method and the time; assured that however it might be with these, he would not forget the love which had thus led her to his footstool of grace. At length, as she afterwards said, she checked herself, as if venturing too near the throne, and recalling her thoughts, she began to address herself to the active duties of the day. The remainder of her life was short, comprised in a few weeks only; but they were filled up with devotedness to the cause of Christ, such as absorbed all her powers. God was preparing her for her departure; and it now seems to those then around her, in the recollection of the scene, that he had only lent her to them, after her change of feeling, for a few short days, to show what he could do for the confiding soul, and then recalled her ready spirit to a more congenial state of blessedness. The freed captive was already pluming her wings, and springing upward in her flight, hovering but for a time over the scene of her deliverance, to pour forth her notes of thankfulness, and fix more deeply in the recollection of others the strains of her gratitude. On resuming her attendance upon the female meetings for prayer, she no longer declined her office. At once she took her place at their head, blending her prayers and observations with a power of faith, which seemed to bring down blessings on the hearts of those who were present, and to urge them to follow on in the course of holy living which she marked out for them. How did it diffuse joy over their hearts, when they heard her expressions of thankfulness for their interest in her case; and when they felt that she was all they desired, in the companion of their spiritual instructor! Not content with thus proving her willingness to do her duty, she of her own accord invited to her house the young female converts; and there, weekly, was she seen among them, warning them against unbelief, encouraging their trust in Christ, and exhorting them to place before themselves a high and holy standard of christian character. It will be long before they forget the earnestness, sincerity, and kindness that spoke in her addresses to their hearts; or the fervor and urgency with which she led them to the throne of grace, as they bowed together to seek the blessing of their common God. She dwelt upon her own past despondency, and portrayed to them in such lively colors the former sorrows of her soul, and the present strength of her trust, as, we doubt not, made a deep impression on their minds, of the importance of keeping near to God, and living lives of increasing piety and devotion. Nor was this the only scene in which she was tried, and where she manifested the striking change in her feelings. The once timid and disconsolate christian now went forth with assured confidence to the bed of sickness, to whisper in the ear of the fainting and distressed, those words of heavenly consolation and promise which she had herself proved, and to breathe out in their behalf her earnest supplications for their deliverance. She had but a short time, as it afterwards appeared, to live; and occasionally she seemed to be conscious that such was the case. Her anxiety for the salvation of perishing souls was so great, and so pressed was she at times in spirit, that she could find no relief but in going to her friends, and literally beseeching them to choose the way of life. The wretchedness of their condition, while out of Christ, was so strongly impressed upon her mind, that she looked upon them, in her language, exactly as she would on persons drowning before her eyes in a river, or wrapt in flames, and yet madly refusing the offered means of escape. In warning sinners she did not fear, she said, "the face of clay;" but was now willing to go any where, and be any thing or nothing for their salvation, as God might choose. To all around her, she breathed a spirit of enlarged benevolence, and the prosperity of Christ's kingdom lay most near her heart. Her active mind was now ever laboring to devise ways by which she might show her gratitude and his praise, and benefit others. At the call of God, she undoubtedly would without reluctance have bidden farewell to kindred and friends, crossed the ocean, or penetrated the desert, to live and die for Christ in foreign lands. Although her affection for her friends increased with her new-born interest in souls, yet the world and all its attractions faded in her view, and were nothing in comparison with the higher and purer sources of enjoyment which she found in Jesus her Savior; and she never appeared so animated and happy as when she was conversing of his rich and wondrous condescension and grace. She laid aside the costliest of her clothing, and dressed herself in her plainest apparel, seeming to wish in every way to manifest a humble conformity to the precepts of that gospel which she had taken as her guide. The friends of Christ, the lowly and devoted children of God, were the most welcome to her companionship; and the more truly any appeared to love their Savior, the more did she delight in their society. Other facts will hereafter be mentioned as illustrating her character: we shall now introduce a few extracts from her own writings, expressive of her feelings at this period. As the interval between the commencement of the change in her feelings and the close of her life was so short, she had time to write but little; and what is here given has been taken from letters addressed to her friends. In reading them it will be remembered, we trust, that they were written in all the confidence of private correspondence, and consequently with not the slightest expectation of their coming before the public; but as they are a fair manifestation of the spirit that reigned in her daily conversation and deportment, as they are an exhibition of what she then was, no one it is hoped will deem it improper to break the seal of an implied pledge, and to draw forth to light the hasty and unstudied effusions of her sincerity and affection. The first extract presented is from a letter to a sister, written about a week after her happy change of feeling, and thus com mences: "Although I have received no answer to my last letter, yet I am constrained to write you. Yes the love of Christ constrains me to write you, and with the aid of his Spirit, to show forth what the Lord hath done for my soul. "Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless his holy name. Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits, who forgiveth all thine iniquities, who healeth all thy diseases, who redeemeth thy life from destruction, who crowneth thee with loving kindness and tender mercies." Oh, S-, "eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither hath it entered into the heart of man to conceive" the joy, the joy unutterable and full of glory, that I have lately tasted, through faith in my blessed Savior, who is God over all blessed forever more. I came to Him feeling, that I was poor and wretched, miserable and blind and naked, and in want of all things. I came to him as did the prodigal starving for the bread of life, and beseeching that he would have mercy on my soul. I humbled myself in the dust, and panted for the crumbs that fell from the children's table. Weary and heavy laden I came to him. I agonized to enter into life, and, Oh! joy, joy unspeakable and full of glory, I found myself as it were in the arms of a welcoming Savior, who rejoiced over me as a fond parent would rejoice over a child who had been long lost, and I fell down and worshiped. Oh, my sister, can you conceive of the ecstacy of that moment: it was such as angels doubtless feel it was overwhelming, and I cried, "No more Lord." Do you ask me where I found my Savior. My dearest S. it was at a meeting for prayer: have you any meetings for prayer-do you pray? My dear sister, you have been witness to my sufferings in time past, when it seemed to me that "darkness, death and long despair" were to be my portion forever; but none but those who have had similar trials can have any conception of those terrors of the pit. Yet the Spirit of Truth will bear me witness that I count these light afflictions, compared with the glory that has since been revealed, and the assurance which is given me of heaven hereafter; for now 'I know that my Redeemer liveth, and that He shall stand in the latter day on the earth. I can truly say I rejoice in all God's dispensations and desire to have no will but his. "Not my will but thine be done." Writing to a friend who had recently experienced religion, she says, "It was my wish and intention to have written you a few lines by my dear brother, and desired that you would join with me in praising and blessing God for what he has done for my soul. He, I doubt not, has endeavored to give you some account of the blessing which was granted me shortly before his departure; but who can disclose the unsearchable riches of Christ? Eternity itself will never reveal to us their measureless depth. Oh! what matchless condescension that it should be given to us vile worms of the dust, thus to rejoice in God our Savior. But such is the astonishing fact: the sure word of God declares it, and "the long cloud of witnesses" testify to its truth. Since I first declared that I cherished a trembling hope in the Savior (which was scarcely acknowledged, before it was abandoned, and which is now more than thirteen years since) my pathway of life has been beset with clouds and thick storms: the blackness of darkness has brooded over me, despair and the terrors of the pit: truly and indeed I found "trouble and sorrow." But thanks be unto God who has at length given me the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. Oh! my friend, how can I give unto the Lord the glory due unto his name? Never, never until time with me shall be no more, and my song of glory shall commence at the portals of heaven, and the foretaste which has been given me of my VOL. V. 8 |