"But I was dhrunk at the time. Divil roawst me if I knowed I was gittin' married. I was not a free aigent. I want the judge to taik me naime aff the paiper. It don't go." The judge tried to explain to the man that, drunk or sober, he was married to the woman fast enough, and, if he wanted a divorce, he must go to another court. "Burn me up!" cried the man," if I go to another court. Ye married me, and ye can unmarry me. Taik me naime aff the paiper!" "Silence!" cried the friend, bringing his fist down in close proximity to the judge's nose. "Phwat do you know about law? I admit, judge, that he must go to a higher court; that is (down comes the fist) if the woman can prove (whack) that she was at the time the marriage was solemnated (whack) a regularly ordained sole thrader (whack). On this pint it depinds, both in law and equity.” "I have had enough of this!" cried the judge: “I cannot divorce you. You are married, and married you must remain, for all I can do." "Ye won't taik me naime aff the paiper, thin!" "No: I won't!" fairly yelled the judge. "Silence!" cried the partner, bringing down his fist, and raising a cloud of dust under the judge's nose. "It depinds whether, at the time, the woman was a regular sole—” "Get out of here," cried the judge. "I've had about enough of this!" at the same time rising. "Ye won't taik it aff? Very well, thin, I'll go hoam and devorce myself. I'll fire the thatch! I will-” Here he glanced toward the front door: his under jaw drooped, he ceased speaking, and in a half-stooping posture he went out of the back door of the office like a shot. The valiant friend and legal adviser also glanced toward the door, when he too, doubled up and scooted in the footsteps of his illustrious principal. A look at the door showed it darkened by a woman about six feet in height, and so broad as to fill it almost from side to side. The judge took a look at this mountain of flesh, doubled up, and was about to take the back track, but thought better of it, and took refuge behind his little law-pulpit. The mountain advanced, gave utterance in a sort of internal rumble, and then, ainid fire, smoke, and burning lava, belched out, "Did I, or did I not see Michael O'Hoolahan sneak out of your back doore?" "I believe O'Hoolahan is the name of one of the gentlemen who just went out," said the judge. Advancing upon the pulpit, behind which the judge settled lower and lower, the mountain belched,— "You be-e-lave! You know it was Michael O'Hoolahan! Now, what is all this connivin' in here about? Am I a widdy agin? Did ye taik his naime aff the paiper? Did ye taik it aff?" "N-no," said the judge. "Ye didn't? Don't ye desave me!" "No: I give you my word of honor I didn't, couldn't-I had no right." "It's well for ye ye didn't. I'll tache him to be rinnin' about connivin' to lave me a lone widdy agin', whin I'm makin' a jintleman of him!" With this she sailed back to the door, where she turned, and, shaking her fist, thus addressed the tip of the judge's nose, which alone was visible above the little pulpit, 66 Now, do ye mind that ye lave his naime on the paiper! I want no meddlin' wid a man wanst I git him. No more connivin'!" INCIDENT OF THE FRENCH CAMP.-ROBT. BROWNING. You know we French stormed Ratisbon: A mile or so away, On a little mound, Napoleon Stood on our storming-day; With neck out-thrust, you fancy how, Legs wide, arms locked behind, As if to balance the prone brow, Just as perhaps he mused, "My plans Let once my army-leader Lannes Out 'twixt the battery-smokes there flew Until he reached the mound. Then off there flung in smiling joy, And held himself erect By just his horse's mane, a boy : (So tight he kept his lips compressed, You looked twice ere you saw his breast Was all but shot in two. "Well," cried he, "Emperor, by God's grace We've got you Ratisbon! The marshal's in the market-place, And you'll be there anon To see your flag-bird flap his vans Where I, to heart's desire, Perched him!" The chief's eye flashed; his plans Soared up again like fire. The chief's eye flashed; but presently Softened itself, as sheathes A film the mother-eagle's eye When her bruised eaglet breathes: 64 "You're wounded!" Nay," his soldier's pride Touched to the quick, he said: "I'm killed, sire!" And, his chief beside, Smiling, the boy fell dead. JAMIE DOUGLAS. It was in the days when Claverhouse To change, with fire and bloody sword, They had made a covenant with the Lord Nor break to Him their plighted word, The sun was well-nigh setting, And up the narrow mountain-path, He was a bonny, blithesome lad, His bright blue eyes glanced fearless round, It was bannocks which, that very morn, And now, with many a prayer, Had sent by Jamie her ane boy, To good old Pastor Tammous Roy, And for whom the bloody Claverhouse And swore they would not leave that glen So Jamie Douglas went his way He turned the great curve in the rock, And there were bloody Claverhouse men, When, trembling now within their power, He turns to flee, but all in vain, To where their cruel leader stands, The cakes concealed beneath his plaid "It is old Tam Roy the cakes are for," "Now guide me to his hiding place But Jamie shook his yellow curls, "I'll drop you down the mountain-side, The old gaunt wolf and carrion crow And in his brawny, strong right hand And held him where the clefted rocks So deep it was, the trees below He looked up at the blue sky above, But no one spoke and no one stirred, From such a fearful, frightful death, "It is woeful deep," he shuddering cried, "But oh! I canna tell, So drop me down then, if you will- A childish scream, a faint, dull sound, Long, long within that lonely cave Long for your welcome coming And watches and calls, "Come, Jamie, lad," No more adown the rocky path But up in heaven the shining ones Of a child snatched up from a rocky gulf That is nae so deep as hell. And there before the great white throne, Forever blessed and glad, His mother dear and old Tam Roy Shall meet their bonny lad. |