State. By the immortal Tien, it was too much! What! did thefe audacious foreigners fuppofe that the Holy Son of Heaven, the fole Governor of the Earth, could have occafion for a water-clofet! In all the countless ages that China has exifted as a state, during the twenty dynafties that have fucceffively held the reins of government, fuch a fhocking affront had not been offered to the Majefty of the Empire! And, indeed, to a people fo ceremonious, fo refined, and fo full of veneration for their auguft Emperor, the indecency must have appeared as grofs, as would appear to the modefty of the English court the prefent of a Lob-lab book from the merchants of Canton. It was as bad as it would be at Madrid, to fuppofe the Queen of Spain to have legs, or to peep at those of a favourite Sultana on the banks of the Bofphorus. It amounted to what the French ufed to call Leze-Majefté au premier chef. It was a fort of facrilege; and doubtlefs would have been punished accordingly, if the Ambaffadors had not been protected by their diplomatic character. The nature of feveral other prefents was very diffatisfactory to the Chinefe; but it was chiefly the cabinet d'aifance that made them turn up their noses at our commercial offers. The failure of fo grand an enterprise, from a cause of fuch low impart, is a new proof that great effects may fpring from little caufes: and it will, no doubt, furnish matter of regret to those who felected the prefents, when they reflect, that their dreams of finding gold in China might poffibly have been realized, if their ideas had not favoured fomewhat too strongly of gold-finding. COPY COPY OF A LETTER* FROM BANEELON, ONE OF THE NATIVES OF NEW SOUTH WALES, NOW IN LONDON, TO HIS WIFE BARANGAROO, AT BOTANY BAY. [From the Gazetteer.] THOUGH this is a very fine country, my dear little Barangaroo; though I every day fee very fine fights; and though there is great plenty of kangaroos and fifh, yet I wish I were got back to my wife and the woods, as I am afraid fome accident will happen to me here; having just learnt that all the men in King George's country are mad; as for fome time paft I have heard them fay nothing to one another but"What's the news?" I faid the fame to one of them this morning, and he told me very ftrange and fad things indeed. He faid, that fome months ago it was discovered, that a part of the tribe of English-galt meant to take advantage of the reft, by putting every body upon the fame footing; and were defirous of ruining their own country entirely, hy way of being happy. That a great many of the red men were called together, to prevent their doing fo, juft as they ufed to prevent our taking bread when we were hungry at Botany Bay. I then asked him if the red men had killed them, as they did fome of the tribe of Comeringal in our country; and to my great aftonishment he told me, that the red men had left all thefe mifchievous men juft as they were, and gone across the great water to fight the tribe of French-gal. When I asked, why they made war upon the tribe of This letter appeared fome months after the declaration of war, when Baneelon was in London. + Gal, in the language of the natives of New Holland, is a kind of generic termination, indicating a tribe or nation. French French-gal, he told me, it was for fear the tribe of French-gal fhould make war upon them fome hundred moons hence; and that the English, who were the only people in this half of the globe who had cut off the head of their chief, and made their own laws, were refolved never to forgive the other tribe, because they had cut off the head of their chief, and wanted to make their own laws. He faid, befides, that as it was much to be feared that the tribe of French-gal might fall out, and kill one another, the English, and a number of other tribes,' were gone to prevent it, by killing the greateft number of them poffible." Sun and Moon!" exclaimed I, "can this be true?" And the Englishman laid his hand upon his breaft, and faid it was true. He then went on to tell me, that because the other tribes were afraid that certain opinions of the tribe of French-gal fhould find their way into their country, they fent thither all the Frenchmen they could lay hold of; and that, because the French had threatened to kill the princes of this country, the English princes were gone to be killed in the country of the French. Here, my dear Barangaroo, my patience ran away from me, and I swore by my father's bones that the people of this country must be mad. The Englishman, to whom I was fpeaking, and who, I believe, is not quite fo mad as the reft, faid, with the tears flining in his eyes, that he was afraid fo too; and that very learned men had proved, that the whole tribe of English-gal went mad once in feven years. way of preventing it?" faid I. fwered he; " for we never find out that we have been mad till seven years after." "And is there no "Alas! no," an It has been propofed to me to go and throw my fpear at the French, but I have always faid, that, as the French never took away my wife, or ftole my fishingnets, lines, and throwing-ftick, I was not angry with them; them; and that I could not fight without being angry. No, my dear Barangaroo, I hope to cfcape in fafety from this mad country; and in the mean time I beg of the great Spirit to fave you from lightning, fharks, and red men. What can I fay more? BANEELON. MY POOR TURKIES*. MR. EDITOR, [From the Morning Chronicle] HAVING a confiderable number of turkies to fend to town, I trufted my fecond fon with the care of driving them, and gave him a proper charge, on his fetting off, to be very careful that he loft none by the way; he then flourished his red rag at the word of command, and departed with the whole corps in excellent order. The firft half mile was attended with no accident worth mentioning, except the lofs of three fowls, which were fwept into a gypfey woman's apron; but a little farther on, when he came to a bridge, he drove twenty-five of them into the ftream, and fuffered five more to tumble through the balluftrades, all of which were loft irrecoverably. It appears, that in the next two miles he loft but three in all, two of which were run over by a broad-wheel waggon, and the other was fnugly depofited in a tinker's wallet. Still, however, he went on without miffing them, though four more fell down a cellar-window by the market-place at Norwich, fixteen were ftolen by a foraging party of militia-men, nine walked into a farm-yard, and two of the largest in the whole flock This letter appeared fhortly after the Duke of York received his first reinforcement of cavalry; at the embarkation of which, our most gracious Sovereign attended in perfon, and generously gave the foldiers one fhilling each. His Majefty is also faid to have encouraged the foldiers by faying-" Hurra, my boys! this is my war." But this latter fact we do not affirm, and fhould be loath to believe. were were flogged up into the boot of a mail-coach, while his head was turned another way. At laft, being informed that his number was diminished, he wrote to me for a reinforcement, which I attended myfelf on their journey for a part of the way, and I had the fatisfaction to hear that they joined him in good order; but by the fame exprefs, I found that he had lamed thirty-five of the first flock, by driving over flintftones, and had borrowed more than as many butcher's fkewers to fplice the legs of others; that three fhepherds dogs had killed eleven, and left fixteen more without hopes of recovery; that a penny-pye-man had hid two fine cocks in his basket; that a countryman, ftaggering drunk from the fair, had knocked down two more, miftaking them for weazels; and that a higgler coming by in the night, while my boy was found aflcep, had condefcended to load his cart with them. I fhall fay nothing of the one hundred and fifty that strayed away; of the dozen that dropped into a well; of the four-and-forty that were trod to death by a drove of oxen; of the feven-and-twenty demolished by poachers; of the nineteen that took phyfic for indigeftion, and died under the operation; but content myfelf with obferving, that nine tenths of my tarkies" were at length destroyed, and that of the few which remained, there were hardly any worth faving. As faft as I fent a fupply, my turkies difappeared: till at length I could not help exclaiming, with a deep figh from the bottom of my heart-"I have brought my turkies to a fine market!" A NORFOLK FARMER. BURGESSIANA. |