DEATH AND DR. HORNBOOK. A TRUE STORY. [The following circumstance occasioned the composition of this poem :"The schoolmaster of Tarbolton parish, to eke up the scanty subsistence allowed to that useful class of men, had set up a shop of grocery goods. Having accidentally fallen in with some medical books, and become most hobby-horsically attached to the study of medicine, he had added the sale of a few medicines to his little trade. He had got a shop-bill printed, at the bottom of which, overlooking his own incapacity, he had advertised, that 'Advice would be given in common disorders at the shop gratis.'"-Lockhart's Life of Burns.] SOME books are lies frae end to end, A rousing whid,' at times, to vend But this that I am gaun to tell, That e'er he nearer comes oursel The clachan yill' had made me canty, An' hillocks, stanes, and bushes kenn'd ay The rising moon began to glowers But whether she had three or four, I cou'd na tell. 1 A lie.-2 Village ale.-3 Merry.-4 Drunk.-6 Staggered. Took heed. - From ghosts.-8 To shine faintly. I was come round about the hill, To keep me sicker;' Tho' leeward whyles, against my will, I there wi' something did forgather' A three-taed leister" on the ither Lay, large an' lang. Its stature seem'd lang Scotch ells twa, And then, its shanks, They were as thin, as sharp, an' sma' "Guid-e'en," quo' I; "Friend! hae ye been mawin But naething spak; At length, says I, "Friend, whare ye gaun, Will ye go back?" It spak right howe"-"My name is Death, I red" ye weel, tak care o' scaith,15 See there's a gully!” "Gudeman," quo' he, "put up your whittle, But if I did, I wad be kittle" To be mislear'd;18 1 Tottering.-2 Steady.-3 A short run.-4 Mect.-5 Frightful hesitation. - A three-pronged dart.-7 Belly.-8 At all.-9 A kind of wooden curb for norses.-10 This rencounter happened in seed-time, 1785.-11 with a hollow tone of voice.-12 Frightened.-13 Heed me, good fellow.-14 To counsel, or advise.-15 Injury.-16 A large knife.-17 Ticklish, difficult.-18 Mischievous; i. e. it would be no easy matter for you to hurt, or do me any mischief. I wad na mind it, no that spittle "Weel, weel!" says I, "a bargain be 't; Come, gie's your news; This while ye hae been monie a gate,3 "Ay, ay!" quo' he, an' shook his head, An' choke the breath: Folk maun do something for their bread, "Sax thousand years are near hand fled Till ane Hornbook 's taen up the trade, "Ye ken Jock Hornbook i' the clachan, The weans1 haud out their fingers laughin', "See here's a scythe, and there's a dart, And cursed skill, Has made them baith no worth a f-t, Damn'd haet13 they'll kill! 1 Agreed.-2 An epidemical fever was then raging in that part of the country. Many a road.-4 Butchering.-5 Stop or scare. • This gentleman, Dr. Hornbook, is professionally a brother of the sovereign Order of the Ferula; but, by intuition and inspiration, is at once an apothecary, surgeon, and physician. 7 Worst, or defeat.-8 Hamlet, or village.-9 A part of the entrails.—10 A tobacco pouch.-11 Buchan's Domestic Medicine.-12 Children. 13 An oath of negation; i. e. in Dr. Hornbook's opinion he has rendered my weapons harmless; they'll kill nobody. ""Twas but yestreen,' nae farther gane, Wi' less I'm sure I've hundreds slain; It just play'd dirl3 on the bane, "Hornbook was by, wi' ready art, Fient haet' o 't wad hae pierced the heart "I drew my scythe in sic a fury, Withstood the shock; 8 "Ev'n them he canna get attended, "And then a' doctor's saws an' whittles, Their Latin names as fast he rattles "Calces o' fossils, earth, and trees; 1 Yesternight.-2 No matter!-3 A slight tremulous stroke.-4 An oath of negation.-5 The stem of Colewort.-6 Tumbled.-7 The hard stone found in the Scottish hills; granite. Those patients who cannot attend upon the doctor, or cannot be seen by him, must send their water in a vial, from the sight of which he pretends to know and cure their various diseases. 9 Knives. Aqua-fontis, what you please, He can content ye. "Forbye' some new uncommon weapons, Or mite-horn shavings, filings, scrapings, Sal-alkali o' midge-tail clippings, And monie mae. 112 "Waes me for Johnny Ged's Holes now," Nae doubt they'll rive it wi' the pleugh; 6 The creature grain'd an eldritch laugh, They'll a' be trench'd wi' monie a sheugh,' "Whare I kill'd ane a fair strae death, "An honest wabster1 to his trade, Whase wife's twa nieves" were scarce weel bred, The wife slade cannie" to her bed, But ne'er spak mair. "A countra laird had taen the batts," 1 Besides.-2 More.-3 A name given to the grave-digger.-4 An inclosure for calves; the term is here used in allusion to the church-yard.—5 Daisies.— • Groaned a frightful laugh.—7 Ditch, or trench; i. e. will be filled with graves. To die in bed, in a natural way.- Shroud.-10 A weaver — 11 Fists.-12 Slide gently, or dexterously.-13 Botts.-14 Murmuring, a slight rumbling noise. |