The langest thong, the fiercest growler,
An' gar the tatter'd gypsies pack
Wi' a' their bastards on their back!
Go on, my Lord! I lang to meet you,
An' in my house at hame to greet you;
Wi' common lords ye shanna mingle,
The benmost neuk beside the ingle,
At my right han' assigned your seat,
"Tween Herod's hip an' Polycrate :
Or (if you on your station tarrow),
Between Almagro and Pizarro,
A seat, I'm sure ye're weel deservin't;
An' till ye come-your humble servant,

HELL, June 1st, Anno Mundi 5790.

A DREAM

BEELZEBUB.

Thoughts, words, and deeds, the Statute blames with

reason;

But surely Dreams were ne'er indicted Treason.

GUID-MORNIN' to your Majesty!
May Heaven augment your blisses

On ev'ry new birth-day ye see,
A humble poet wishes.
My bardship here, at your Levee
On sic a day as this is,
Is sure an uncouth sight to see,
Amang thae birth-day dresses
Sae fine this day.

I see ye're complimented thrang,
By mony a lord an' lady ;

"God save the King" 's a cuckoo sang
That's unco easy said aye:

Bread

albane's reward

An esti
mate of
King
George

The poets, too, a venal gang,

Wi' rhymes weel-turn'd an' ready, Wad gar you trow ye ne'er do wrang, But aye unerring steady,

On sic a day.

For me! before a monarch's face,
Ev'n there I winna flatter;
For neither pension, post, nor place,
Am I your humble debtor :
So, nae reflection on your Grace,
Your Kingship to bespatter;

There's mony waur been o' the race,
And aiblins ane been better

Than you this day.

'Tis very true, my sovereign King,
My skill may weel be doubted;
But facts are chiels that winna ding,
An' downa be disputed:

Your royal nest, beneath your wing,
Is e'en right reft and clouted,
And now the third part o' the string,
An' less, will gang about it

Than did ae day.

Far be't frae me that I aspire
To blame your legislation,
Or say, ye wisdom want, or fire,

To rule this mighty nation :
But faith! I muckle doubt, my sire,

Ye've trusted ministration

To chaps wha in a barn or byre

Wad better fill'd their station

Than courts yon day.

Taxation's burdens

And now ye've gien auld Britain peace,
Her broken shins to plaister,

Your sair taxation does her fleece,

Till she has scarce a tester:

For me, thank God, my life's a lease,
Nae bargain wearin faster,

Or faith! I fear, that, wi' the geese,

I shortly boost to pasture

I' the craft some day.

I'm no mistrusting Willie Pitt,
When taxes he enlarges,

(An' Will's a true guid fallow's get,
A name not envy spairges),
That he intends to pay your debt,
An' lessen a' your charges;
But, God-sake! let nae saving fit
Abridge your bonie barges.

An' boats this day.

Adieu, my Liege! may freedom geck
Beneath your high protection;
An' may ye rax Corruption's neck,
An' gie her for dissection!
But since I'm here, I'll no neglect,
In loyal, true affection,

To pay your Queen, wi' due respect,

My fealty an' subjection

This great birth-day.

Hail, Majesty most Excellent!

While nobles strive to please ye,

Will ye accept a compliment,
A simple poet gies ye?

The Royal Family

Thae bonie bairntime, Heav'n has lent,
Still higher may they heeze ye
In bliss, till fate some day is sent,

For ever to release ye

Frae care that day.

For you, young Potentate o' Wales,

I tell your highness fairly,
Down Pleasure's stream, wi' swelling sails,
I'm tauld ye're driving rarely;
But some day ye may gnaw your nails,
An' curse your folly sairly,
That e'er ye brak Diana's pales,

Or rattl'd dice wi' Charlie

By night or day.

Yet aft a ragged cowt's been known,
To mak a noble aiver;

So, ye may doucely fill the throne,
For a' their clish-ma-claver:
There, him at Agincourt wha shone,
Few better were or braver :

And yet, wi' funny, queer Sir John,
He was an unco shaver

For mony a day.

For you, right rev'rend Osnaburg,
Nane sets the lawn-sleeve sweeter,

Altho' a ribbon at your lug

As

Wad been a dress completer :
ye disown yon paughty dog,
That bears the keys of Peter,
Then swith! an' get a wife to hug,
Or trowth, ye'll stain the mitre
Some luckless day!

Young, royal tarry-breeks, I learn,

Ye've lately come athwart her—

A glorious galley, stem and stern,
Weel rigg'd for Venus' barter;
But first hang out, that she'll discern,
Your hymeneal charter;

Then heave aboard your grapple airn,

An', large upon her quarter,

Come full that day.

Ye, lastly, bonie blossoms a',

Ye royal lasses dainty,

Heav'n mak you guid as weel as braw,
An' gie you lads a-plenty !
But sneer na British boys awa!
For kings are unco scant aye,
An' German gentles are but sma',
They're better just than want aye
On ony day.

God bless you a'! consider now,
Ye're unco muckle dautit;
But ere the course o' life be through,
It may be bitter sautit :

An' I hae seen their coggie fou,
That yet hae tarrow't at it.
But or the day was done, I trow,

The laggen they hae clautit

Fu' clean that day.

A DEDICATION

TO GAVIN HAMILTON, ESQ.

EXPECT na, sir, in this narration, A fleechin, fleth'rin Dedication,

German princes