Little Masterpieces of American Wit and Humor, Том 1

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Thomas Lansing Masson, Thomas L. Masson
Doubleday, Page, 1903

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Страница 65 - EIGHTEEN HUNDRED ; — it came and found The deacon's masterpiece strong and sound. Eighteen hundred increased by ten ; — " Hahnsum kerridge " they called it then. Eighteen hundred and twenty came ; — Running as usual ; much the same. Thirty and forty at last arrive, And then come fifty, and FIFTY-FIVE. Little of all we value here Wakes on the morn of its hundredth year Without both feeling and looking queer. In fact, there's nothing that keeps its youth, So far as I know, but a tree and truth....
Страница 4 - His face, that infallible index of the mind, presented a vast expanse, unfurrowed by any of those lines and angles which disfigure the human countenance with what is termed expression. Two small...
Страница 180 - Thish-yer Smiley had a mare— the boys called her the fifteen-minute nag, but that was only in fun, you know, because of course she was faster than that— and he used to win money on that horse, for all she was so slow and always had the asthma, or the distemper, or the consumption, or something of that kind. They used to give her two or three hundred yards...
Страница 142 - His shop was just upon the bank, his boat was on the tide; The daughter of a fisherman, that was so straight and slim, Lived over on the other bank, right opposite to him. It was the pensive oysterman that saw a lovely maid, Upon a moonlight evening, a sitting in the shade ; He saw her wave her handkerchief, as much as if to say, " I'm wide awake, young oysterman, and all the folks away.
Страница 25 - ... and balls; Dresses to sit in, and stand in, and walk in; Dresses to dance in, and flirt in, and talk in; Dresses in which to do nothing at all; Dresses for winter, spring, summer, and fall; All of them different in color and pattern, Silk, muslin, and lace, crape, velvet, and satin, Brocade, and broadcloth, and other material, Quite as expensive and much more ethereal...
Страница 22 - The Body of Benjamin Franklin Printer (Like the cover of an old book Its contents torn out And stript of its lettering and gilding) Lies here, food for worms. But the work shall not be lost For it will (as he believed) appear once more In a new and more elegant edition Revised and corrected by The Author.* * The foregoing epitaph was written by Dr.
Страница 178 - Rev. Leonidas W. Smiley, I would feel under many obligations to him. Simon Wheeler backed me into a corner and blockaded me there with his chair, and then sat down and reeled off the monotonous narrative which follows this paragraph.
Страница 49 - Yet still she strains the aching clasp That binds her virgin zone; I know it hurts her, — though she looks As cheerful as she can; Her waist is ampler than her life, For life is but a span. My aunt ! my poor deluded aunt ! Her hair is almost gray...
Страница 27 - I should mention just here, that out of Miss Flora's Two hundred and fifty or sixty adorers, I had just been selected as he who should throw all The rest in the shade, by the gracious bestowal On myself, after twenty or thirty rejections, Of those fossil remains which she called her "affections," And that rather decayed but well-known work of art, Which Miss Flora persisted in styling "her heart.
Страница 171 - He's ben true to one party, — an' thet is himself; So John P. Robinson he Sez he shall vote fer Gineral C. Gineral C. he goes in fer the war ; He don't vally principle more'n an old cud ; Wut did God make us raytional creeturs fer, But glory an' gunpowder, plunder an

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