them properly. All this must be avoided, if you wish to be considered well bred." MANUAL OF GOOD MANNERS. 14. Awkward Habits. 1. "Avoid awkward habits. From your own observation, reflect what a disagreeable impression an awkward address, a slovenly figure, an ungraceful manner of speaking, whether fluttering, muttering, or drawling, make upon you at first sight in strangers, and how they prejudice you against them." 2. "When awkward persons are in company, feeling confused and ashamed, they are apt to fall into awkward habits. Such as playing with their hats, handkerchiefs, or fingers, biting the nails, picking the nose, or blowing it, and then looking in the handkerchief, scratching the head, drumming with the feet, coughing to clear the throat, sighing, cramming the hand into the bosom or pockets," &c. &c. 3. "At table, also, they are very awkward; when sitting, perhaps they will sit at so great a distance from, the table, as frequently to drop victuals between the plate and the mouth, which perhaps falls into their laps. They hold their knife, fork or spoon awkwardly and different from other people, grasping the blade of the knife, and eating to the danger of their mouths, pick their teeth with the fork; and put their knives or spoons which have been many times into their mouths, into the dish again." 4. "If they are to carve, they do not hit the joint, but in laboring to cut through solid bone, splash the gravy into the faces of others, and daub themselves sadly. Their elbows are often over, or in the next person's plate or face, and they are up to the knuckles in soup and grease. If they drink it is with a mouth full, and perhaps cough in the glass, and besprinkle the whole table; and other awkward tricks too numerous to mention.' 5. "All this, to be sure, has nothing criminal in it, but it is such an offence to good manners and good breeding, that it is universally despised; it makes a person ridiculous in company, and of course, ought carefully to be avoided by every one who would wish to please." 15. Immoderate Laughter. 1. Frequent and loud laughter, is the characteristic of folly and ill manners; it is the manner in which vulgar people express their silly joy, at silly things; and they call it being merry. Audible laughter is very illiberal and disgusting. 2. True wit, or sense, never yet made any body laugh they are above it; they please the mind, and give a cheerfulness to the countenance. But it is low buffoonery, or silly accidents, that always excite laughter; and that is what people of sense and breeding should show themselves above, 3. A person going to sit down, on a supposition that he has a chair behind him, and falling for want of one, occasions a general laugh, when the best species of wit would not do it; a sufficient proof how low and unbecoming laughter is. 4. Some people have a silly trick of laughing whenever they speak; so that they are always on the grin, and their face ever distorted. MANUAL OF GOOD MANNERS. 16. Jealousy. 1. Never indulge yourselves in jealousy or suspicion, nor judge the conduct of others as it respects you; this is the twin evil to unreconciliation. If you harbor this spirit, it will soon transform your real friends into imaginary enemies, and your evil surmises will so corrupt your language and deportment, that no one can love you, nor give you a good character:- they cannot unite with you in that gospel union and freedom which they enjoy; neither can they so freely make you welcome to those things which they would own to be your lawful right with others, as they could, if you possessed an agreeable spirit; and indeed, no one that is governed by such an ugly disposition, can be worthy to enjoy an equal share with the truly faithful, in the blessings which the gospel affords, whether it be in temporal or spiritual matters. And as certain as you cherish this evil spirit of jealousy, so certainly you will mar yourselves, and thus you will gradually lose the union of your brethren and sisters, and destroy your own peace and happiness. 2. The language of such a spirit is, " I am not so well used as others are. Such a one can do as he pleases, but I cannot; others can be noticed and built up, but I am despised and set at nought. The Elders are partial, they think he is all perfection, but he is not a whit better than I am. The deacons are partial and unjust; they will do any thing for others, but I must shift for myself. The brethren are partial; they love such a one far better than they do me, and I'm sure I don't know what it's for. The sisters are partial; they are much kinder to him, than they are to me. It's always just so, and I've no faith in such partiality," &c. 3. Thus the poor soul is continually suffering under imaginary injustice and partiality, when in fact, he is viewing all these things through the eyes of jealousy. His reason, understanding and judgment, are all corrupted by the same spirit, so that, in truth, the injustice and partiality, with all their train of evils, are seated in his own bosom: and when he comes to purge them out, he will find that he has been shamefully deceived by a wicked spirit, and will view with astonishment his own deception, and blush to see how far he has exposed his own weakness. 17. Envy. 1. Never envy others their happiness in their work, situation, lot or gift in any thing, nor give way to wish yourselves in their places. If you indulge this sense, it will lead you into a labyrinth of difficulties; your minds will be tormented with ambitious desires and galling disappointments; a thousand vain hopes and foolish imaginations will, in turn, flatter and deceive you, and the pursuit of your wishes will be like a chase after your own shadows; they will keep continually beyond your reach. 2. The language of such a spirit is, "O that I was in such a one's place! for then I could take some comfort! If I only had such a one's lot, I could enjoy some satisfaction!" But remember that this is the voice of an envious, unreconciled disposition, and proceeds from an evil nature, opposed to all happiness, and ought never to have any place in the heart of a Believer. 3. Let the unreconciled creature once be placed in the so much desired situation, and feel the burden of it, and he would shortly find himself in a worse condition than before, and soon want to exchange it for another. This has often been proved. The truth is, it is not in outward situations, or apparent conditions, that happiness consists; it is in justification and reconciliation. 4. The folly of this envious, craving and unreasonable disposition is clearly represented by this similitude. Let a drove of cattle be salted in regular heaps, sufficient for the whole number; and they will all seize eagerly hold of the salt; but no sooner have they well tasted, than one sees another licking near him, and surmising that there is something better, he springs with violence,-hooks the other away, and licks up his slaverings!! 5. Just so inconsistent and beastly, is a greedy, grudging and unreconciled disposition! Such is the base and foul disgrace, Of coveting another's place; Let every one pursue his own, E |