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but the latter would be preferable, for John never enjoyed fuch good health, as when he could hang out the broom in the face of all his neighbours.

The lofs of bufinefs fhould follow lofs of health is too common a cafe to excite furprize. It is among the worst consequences of this quackery, to which John has addicted himself, that he has almoft wholly neglected his shop. He don't fell half the articles he did, and fome of his wholefale cuftomers have fhut their doors against him, fo that his goods may lie to rot in his warehouses. So little, however, is he affected by this, that he exclaimed one day-" D—n my shop! fo my conftitution is fafe," a circumftance which convinced me that his intellect was disturbed. What could have produced fuch derangement in a mind so found as his used to be, his friends have in vain attempted to discover. The quacks, who furround him, will anfwer no queftions, or if they do condefcend to tell why they prefcribe any remedy, they fpeak as if they did not wish to be understood. I accidentally met with one or two of them, and they appear, from their broken English, to be foreigners, either Germans or Swifs, I know not which.

The confequences, however, of our poor friend's unhappy fituation are not confined to himself alone. His family has loft much of the refpect it commanded. Among his neighbours he is no longer looked up to as a man of confequence. While he had a fhilling left, they profefied a cordial partnership with him, but now that he cannot advance more, they affect to defpife him, and he has been for fome time in a kind of ftupor, from which I have ventured to predict very alarming effects. You know, my dear Sir, that a ftupor is always dangerous in proportion to the length of time it lafts. Now his has lafted a very long time, and nothing feems capable of roufing him; nor, indeed, can he awake from this lethargy, unless his friends procure access to him, which at prefent is impoffible, as the whole tribe of quacks place themfelves firmly round

round him, and will admit nobody to fee him, who is not of their way of thinking.

Such, my dear Sir, is the fituation of our friend John. You who remember him in his better days, and who preferibed fo fuccefsfully to him fome years ago, when he fell into a 'dangerous diforder by drinking tea at Bofton, can beft know how to appreciate his prefent fituation. I confefs I am not without hopes. I fee as yet no mortal fymptom. His conftitution is fuch as might be reftored, were we allowed to pre fcribe immediately, but the whole annals of our science cannot afford an inftance of an obftinate perfeverance in quackery which did not render the conftitution fo bad. as to baffle the efforts of the most experienced phyficians. His pulfe, it is faid, may yet be felt, and although a cure would probably be tedious, yet furely the object is worthy of all our kill and perfeverance. When we reflect upon his goodnefs of heart, his benevolence, his courage, and the many good qualities which diftinguished him in former days, who but must figh to behold his prefent depreffed, debilitated, and humiliating fituation! Who would not exult in being the means of restoring him to his pristine health and vigour!

Yes, my dear friend, let us not defpair. It may be done; but it cannot be done without an entire change of fyftem. Those who have deluded him must be removed; all veftiges even of their preferiptions must be deftroyed. The gag muft be taken from his mouth, and the film removed from his eye. He will then look back with contempt on thofe who have deceived him, and forward with pleafure to the happy days, when furrounded by friends only, he may enjoy long and happy life, refpected by, and respecting his neigbour as himself. I am, dear Sir, your's, Warwick-lane, Aug. 6, 1796.

GALENICUS.

P. S. Should any favourable change take place, you may depend upon hearing from me. There is a vague report, that fome one has prefcribed Spanish flies to remove the lethargy. I queftion whether he has ftrength for it. I am averfe to more outward applications. [Telegraph.]

Cc

NEW

D

SIR,

NEW LOGICK.

ID you ever, Mr. Baldwin, meet with a man whofe brains are in his pocket, whofe logick is a bottle, and all whofe decifions are wagers? If you have, you will have fome idea of a very worthy gentleman who difturbs the peace of our little evening club, by giving no answer that has not a bet at the tail of it.—If you fay, we have had good news from abroad, he lays a bottle that the news are bad.-If you hint that they are bad, he offers a bottle that they are good. In this way he goes about the room for hours together chinking his arguments in his pocket, and referring every queftion of politics, law, or trade to the unanswerable decifion of two and fixpence. No man can open his mouth without rifking a bottle with this wager-hunter.-If you even drink his health, he'll lay you a bottle that he is the healthiest man in the room; if you ftir the fire, he bets a bottle that you will put it out.-Nay, it was but lately that on going away, I bid him good night, and he offered to lay a bottle that it was morning.-Another time, when I helped him on with his great coat, he laid me a bottle that I could not tell who made it.

There is no contending, you perceive, with fuch a logician as this, and our club have had feveral meetings. to confider what is to be done. We are a plain, fober, orderly kind of people, who meet to difcufs the business of the day in a cool, argumentative way; but it is very hard, Sir, that a man cannot risk an opinion for less than half a crown.-It has been fuggefted by a very fagacious member, who fees much further through a mill-stone than most of us, that this two-and fixpenny reafoner, this filver-tongued orator, is under articles with the landlord for the more speedy consumption of his port wine, and that he has ten per cent. on every decifion which he pours down our throats. But this probably is fcandal-O! here he comes-and quite in character-for he proposes a bottle that he knows what I have been writing-and fo he may, if you pleafe.

I am, Sir, your's,

[St. James's Chronicle.]

NO WAGER-MONGER.

L

CANTATA,

BY PETER PINDAR, ESQ.

RECITATIVE.

O! I who erft a MIGHTY MONARCH'S RAGE, Made the bold fubject of heroic page; Difclos'd the fecrets of the Royal Houfe, And fang the GUILLOTINISM of a loufe; Taught greafy cooks and fcullions how to moan, And gave to porters language not their own; Now meek as lamb in humbler measures creep, And fing the virtues of a flock of sheep!

AIR.

Adieu! ev'ry fheep that I've got!'
Ye playful and innocent lambs!
Ye ewes, the fupport of my flock!
Ye fober and reverend rams!
No more to my arms fhall ye run,
As together we frisk it and play,
In the fummer to feed you with grafs,
In the winter to feed you with hay..
I fhall lead you no more to the fold,
No more fhall I bring you together,
No more to a fweet little ewe

Shall I couple a merry bell-wether *..
Lack-a-day! how I'm alter'd of late,
As, I fear, by my vifage appears,
Ah! I am not the fame as I was †,

For I'm older by fixty good years!

* I am well aware of the objection the critics may make to my coupling a ewe to a bell-wether; but I fhall beg leave to refer them to Shakespeare's As you Like It, A&t III. Scene 2, an authority, I conceive, fully fufficient to answer any objection they may proper to bring against me.

† Non fum qualis eram.

think

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Oh! lift to this maxim, my friends,
Which at once is both novel and true,
"Ye too muft refign your fweet breath,"
For who his past years can renew !
What thanks to your love do I owe !
In the fun-fhine whenever I fleep,
Repofing my limbs on the ground,
How tweet to be guarded--by sheep.
Let me copy your virtues fo rare,
Then receive my last thanks and last sigh!
Your fimplicity taught me to live,

Let your INNOCENCE teach me to die

Then no more fhall my mortified fpirit
Ufe any unfortunate imp ill;

But all, whilft they envy, fhall own

THE VIRTUES of PETER-the Simple.

LETTER OF GEORGE ALEXANDER STEVENS, SIR,

WHEN

THEN I parted from you at Lincoln, I thought before now to have met with fome oddities worth acquainting you with. Its grown a fashion of late to write Lives; I now, and for a long time, have had leifure enough to undertake mine, but want materials for the latter part of it; for my existence now cannot properly be called living, but what the painters term ftill life, having, ever fince the 13th of March, been confined in this town gaol for a London debt. As a hunted deer is always fhunned by the happy herd, fo am I deferted by the company, my fhare taken off, and no fupport left, (except what my wife can spare out of hers)-deferted in my utmost need by thofe my. former bounty fed.

With an economy which till now I was a stranger to, I have made fhift to victual my little garrifon; but then it has been by the affiftance of fome good; friends; and alas! my cloaths this week furnifh my

laft

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