His wig was turn'd forwards, and wort was his height; His apron was dirty to view:

The women, (Oh! wond'rous) were hufh'd at the fight, The cats as they ey'd him drew back (well they might,) For his body was pea-green and blue.

Now as all wifh'd to speak, but none knew what to say,
They look'd mighty foolish and queer;

At length fpoke the lady with trembling-" I pray,
Dear fir, that your peruke afide you would lay,
And partake of fome strong or small beer.”

The bride fhuts her fly trap; the ftranger complies,
And his wig from his phiz deigns to pull.

Adzooks! what a fquall Sally gave through furprize! Like a pig that was ftuck, how the open'd her eyes, When the recogniz'd Jollup's bare skull !

Each mifs then exclaim'd, while fhe turn'd up her fnout, "Sir your head isn't fit to be feen !"

The pot-boys ran in, and the pot-boys ran out,
And could'nt conceive what the noise was about,
While the doctor addrefs'd Sally Green.

"Behold me, thou jilt-flirt! behold me," he cri'd,
"I'm Jollup, whom fome call "the knave!"
God grant, that to punish your falfehood and pride,
You thould feel at this moment a pain in your fide;
Quick, fwallow this rhubarb ! I'll phyfic the bride,
And fend her well dos'd to the grave!

Thus faying, the phyfic her throat he forc'd down,
In fpite of whate'er fhe could fay;

Then bore to his chariot the maiden fo brown,
Nor ever again was fhe feen in that town,
Or the doctor, who whifk'd her away.

Not long liv'd the brewer, and none fince that time, ‹-
To inhabit the brewhouse prefume;

For old women fay, that by order fublime,
There Sally Green fuffers the pain of her crime,
And bawls to get out of the room.

At mid-night four times in each year does her fpright,

Ee

With

With fhrieks make the chamber refound.

"I won't take the rhubarb !" fhe fqualls in affright, While, a cup in his left hand, a draught in his right, Giles Jollup pursues her around.

With wigs fo well powder'd, twelve doctors fo grave,
Dancing hornpipes around them are feen;

They drink chicken broth, and this horrible stave
Is twang'd thro' each nofe, "to Giles Jollup the knave,
And his patient, the fick Sally Green!"

SIR,

MOCK-WISDOM.

EING lately at a very excellent dinner, where I regaled moft luxuriously on a delicious difh of mock-turtle, I happened to fit next to a gentleman, who I foon difcovered to be a member of that literary body called pedants: this defcription of a scholar is one, who by means of loud vociferation, a decifive tone of voice, a small portion of knowledge, a copia verborum of hard words, and a few other requifites, obtains in moft companies the fafcinating power of attraction; and I obferved, that this gentleman not only arrogated to himfelf a refpectable importance on the score of his erudition, but that he impreffed his audience with the fame. opinion with himself, that he really was a learned man.

The mock-turtle and the pedant divided our attention; and the filent refpect paid to the latter, was only occafionally interrupted when a paffing gout of exquifite relish forced a panegyrick on the former. Thefe two objects, thus entering the lifts of competition, introduced to my mind ideas of fimilarity between them; the pedant I confidered as exhibiting a difh of mock-wifdom, as the calf's head did a dish of mock-turtle; and as the culinary art had fo managed the deception of the one that its perfection was allowed to be nearly, if not quite equal, to real turtle, fo had the literary arts managed the deception of the other, as to make the mock-wisdom appear an excellent fubftitute for genuine fenfe and learning.

Jearning. The obfervetions produced the following receipt:

A RECEIPT FOR MOCK-WISDOM.

Take a few grains of fenfe, ftrain them through as many dictionaries as you can collect together, taking care to felect none but the lightest particles of matter contained in your books; a very few fcraps of the learned fciences, are however indifpenfible, as they must give an apparent folidity to the whole; be careful to collect all your ingredients in very fmall quantities-a little history, a little painting, a little mufick, a few fragments of poetry; take as many Latin fentences and as many hard words as you can find; jumble thefe all well together, and throw them loosely into your head. If they are properly mixed, the whole will froth up and float on the furface of the brain.

[St. James's Chron.]

MR. EDITOR,

WITH

THE GREEN-ASS.

ITH your permiffion, I will tell you a fhort ftory: a widow, fomewhat advanced in years, had, in order to foothe her forrows for the lofs of her firft hufband, refolved to take a fecond. A fmart young fellow in the neighbourhood fo occupied her thoughts, that she made a female friend the confidant of her determination, provided that any means could be found to filence the tittle tattle of the town on fo difproportionate a connection. Nothing fo eafy, replied the friend, 'tis true you will be ridiculed; you will be the fubject of ballads and epigrams for a fortnight, but in a month you and your marriage will be as little attended to as last year's almanack. I will engage even that yonder jackafs on the common fhall be the means of quieting the tongues of fcandal in a few hours. A jack-afs filence fcandal? You jeft, fure. No, I am perfectly in earneft, therefore marry as foon as you please, and leave the rest to me.

The widow required no very urgent remonftrances to induce her to comply with her inclination. The ceremony was performed, and all the wags of the neighbourhood were affembled round about the door of the happy couple, to indulge their raillery and mirth. In the midft of the merriment, an afs comes fuddenly round the corner, of the colour of a parroquet. The nuptial door is deferted, and every eye and tongue is engaged on this prodigy. A green-afs! who the De-l could have thought of fuch a ftrange production-where, in the name of wonder, could it come from? From Greenland, to be fure, fays the barber of the village, who had been a traveller, or elfe from the Cape de Verd-I remember feeing a herd of them; they are as green as grafs while they are young, but turn as yellow as faffron when they are old, Depend upon it, fays an old woman, this green-afs portends fome mifchief; I remember myself a white black-bird appearing when I was a girl, and that fame year there was a rot among the fheep, and the weather-cock on the church fteeple was struck by lightning.

The widow's friend, in fhort, completely gained her point, and the green-afs fo effectually employed the attention of the neighbourhood, that the wedding was as much forgot as if it had never been performed.

But a ftory, Mr. Editor, is but a barren rhapfody, unless it admits of an application. The minifterial fcriblers then, act the part of the widow's friend, and Lady Jerfey is the green-afs. If ill-timed and ill-combined measures produce their neceffary effects-misfortune and difafter. If the public indignation is roused at expeditions, madly concerted, and ruinously conducted; if all the minifterial prophecies turn out to be abfurd and childish chimeras, a moft effectual method is ingeniously adopted by two of the hireling prints, to divert the public mind from these calamitous objects, by a column of paragraphs on the conduct of Lady Jersey. This is fo palpable an artifice, that it is really astonishing how long the nation has fuffered itself to be the dupe of

it; or that it has never occurred to them, that the whole of this repetition of abuse and ridicule on the character of an individual, while Europe is teeming with portentous and dire events, is nothing more than the fecond edition of

[Morning Poft.]

THE GREEN-ASS.

NEW TAX-GATHERERS.

E obfere in feveral of the papers, that another

WE loan is to be raifed. Sir, we hope that it will

men,

be a forced loan; for, if it is, we shall beg leave to offer our fervices to the Minifters as Collectors. We are perfectly well qualified for the business, having been long in the habit of collecting forced loans; and indeed there feems to be fomething fimilar and congenial to the plans of the Minifter, and in the purfuits of his devoted fervants. He fays to the monied "Grant me a voluntary loan: if you do not, I fhall infift upon a forced loan." Now, Sir, what do we fay to those whom we meet with but, " Give us your money peaceably: if you do not, we will take it from you by force." Oh! there can be no doubt that the Right Hon. Gentleman, as he reads this, will, with the greatest plea-fure, avail himself of the fervices of the very ancientand renowned corps of

[Morning Poft.].

HIGHWAYMEN,

SONG

SUNG ON THE ANNIVERSARY OF MR. FOX'S

BIRTH-DAY, BY CAPTAIN MORRICE.

THE

HE rifing Sun of Freedom, with radiant justice crown'd,

Now burfts in bright effulgence, and fpreads its bleffings round;

Creation's fons rejoicing, receive the welcome light, While God unchains the fettered world, and Nature claims her right.

Ee 31

CHORUS