they have nothing with which to fill them? Mr. Wilberforce would move my committal to the Tower for stirring up rebellion.

F. He would?

R. Yes, indeed, he would; and Lord Dillon, repeating Mr. Wilberforce's fpeeches, would fwear it was all true, that a Jacobin, a rebel, a regicide, &c. I would be attacked in the fame manner in which Mr. Fox has been fo falfely calumniated.

F. Then is it feditious to find fault with any mea fure of Government?

R. High treafon! According to Mr. Wilberforce, it is high treafon to prefume to advife a heaven-born Minifter, or io dare to fay the people are difcontented. F. Dare you not speak your mind in Parliament on any fubject?

R. Oh yes! We debate with the utmost freedom, and may vote with the utmost independence on Canal bills.

F. Oh! Lord

R. I am very forry for your fituation. times are particularly diftreffing to you.

I know the Can I help a Canal bill of your's through the House, or do any other

little job to ferve you?

F. Oh! Lord, I never till now was convinced of the neceffity of a Parliamentary Reform.

I

[Morning Poft.]

A NEW SYSTEM OF EDUCATION.

MR. BALDWIN,

(Exit.)

OBSERVED lately, in fome of the papers, (whether in your's, or not, I do not at prefent remember) a kind of fatirical piece, in which a Frenchman recommends to the Parifians to feed their children with goat's milk, to render them expert and active dancers, dancing being to the French the whole duty of man.But, Sir, as I am one of thofe who confider the pre

fent

A FAST-DAY HYMN,

TO BE SUNG BY A CHORUS OF PLACEMEN, &c.

O God of thy goodness flay mine enemies, and destroy all them that vex my foul, for I am thy fervant."

A

LTHOUGH we never pray'd before,
Yet now we're bid to pray;

To thee, O Lord, we raise our voice,
On this moft folemn day.

Fain would we murder all our foes;
O grant our pious wish,

For lo! this day have we refolv'd
To dine on falted fish.

Oh! 'tis a goodly found to hear
Of tens of thoufands flain,

While at a diftance from the scene,
We fafe at home remain.

9

To thee, the God of Love and Peace,
We pray to whet our sword;
Grant we may cut a thousand throats-
All for thy holy word!

O, God of Mercy, grant that these
With us who do not think,
May, of the bitter cup of wrath,
Be ever doom'd to drink!

So fhall we laud thy holy name,
If thou wilt grant our wifh;

Since 'tis for this we have refolv'd

To dine on falted fish.

[Chronicle.]

J. B:

NEW DEFINITION OF MAN.

SOON after the marriage of the dauphin and dauphiness of France (the late unfortunate Louis XVI. and Antoinette) when all the converfation ran upon the fplendid fire works exhibited at their nuptials, a friend ef mine, happening to be at Paris, was much amufed with a circumftance to which he was witnefs, in a room full of company. A boy, about feven years old, poffeffed of rather more than an ordinary degree of that forward vivacity which is fo characteriftic of the youthful part of the French nation was haranguing, in the midft of the circle, with great volubility and emphasis, on the fubject of fire-works, and giving a defcription of what he conceived would make a perfect fpectacle of that kind. But while he was painting, with all his eloquence, the immense volumes of flame, and prodigious explofions, that filled his imagination, a by-ftander ventured to obferve, that all the people employed about them would be in danger of being blown to pieces." Oh, (fays the boy, with a nonchalance worthy of the privileged orders)-Oh, ils font faits pour cela."" It is what they are made for."

This expreffion has often come into my mind, on reflecting upon the destiny of the great bulk of mankind, in all paft, and in the prefent periods; and I have wifhed, if poffible, to fatisfy myfelf what, in reality the human race was made for; and I confefs, willing as I am to entertain better hopes, I cannot difcover, from any principles of philofophifing, so fure a ground for reafoning concerning the future condition of mankind, as the uniform experience of fome thousands of past years. If I breed up a horse for the courfe, or a dog for the chace, or a gamecock for the pit, it is because a long courfe of experiments has convinced me that fuch is the nature of thofe animals, and that I am pretty fure of finding in

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the

the progeny thofe qualities and difpofitions which I remarked in the parents. May not then a king of Pruffia, with equal reafen, train a number of twolegged unfeathered creatures, called men, to pillage, enflave, and murder other men, at the word of command, in the confidence that as the experiment fucceeded with Sefoftris, Cyrus, Alexander, Cæfar, Gengiskan, Tamerlane, Charles, Louis, and a great many more men-mafters, it will alfo fucceed with him; -in other words, as the French boy faid, that "ils.font faits pour cela?

Farther-Man is a creature of ftrong appetites and paffions. These are involved in him earlier than the principles of reafon and understanding, and, in much the greater part of the fpecies, they continue to take the lead during life. Senfual pleasures have attractions for all men; and it is only that clafs who, by means of the bodily labour of the majority, are able to live in comparative eafe and leifure, that can acquire a relifh for intellectual enjoyments. Now, the more numerous mankind become, the more fedulous must be their exertions to procure the neceffaries of life, which must ever be the first concern. The more refinement and luxury prevail among the higher claffes, the greater proportion of the lower muft devote the whole of their time to labour, in a variety of new modes. Even the improvements in arts and fciences require the additional manual toil of inferior artists; and the ingenuity of one head fets at work a thousand pair of hands. What is implied by the fublime dif coveries of a Herschell?-the existence of the collier, miner, forgeman, fmith, brazier, glafs-maker and grinder, carpenter, &c. &c. all of whom muft be hard-working men, living in garrets and cellars, drinking porter and drams, when they can get them, and placing their fummum bonum in a hot fupper and a warm bed. This is what they are made for. And when the government under which they live, and of

which they must always be fubjects, not members, chooses to quarrel with a neighbouring state, about the right of fishing or trading on the other fide of the globe, or fome equally worthy matter of debate, thefe very men must be compelled or debauched to clap an uniform on their backs, and a musket on their fhoulders, and learn to kill and be killed, at the word of command-for this too, is what they are made for.

An acquaintance of mine, who is fond of, the Linnæan mode of characterifing objects of natural history, has amufed himfeit with drawing up the following definition of man:

:. Simia Homo: fine caude: pedibus pofticis ambulans: gregarium, omnivorum, inquietum, mendax, furax, rapax, falax, pugnax, artium variarum capax, animalium reliquorum hoftis, fui ipfius inimicus acerrimus.

This, I confefs, is an unfavourable portrait.. I wifh, Mr. Editor, fome of your correfpondents would, from a fair drawing after nature, give us a better. Your's, &c. HERACLITO-DEMOCRITEUS.

Sept. 30.
Monthly Magazine.

AGRICULTURE, .

Minutes of the Report of the Board of Agriculture, for the Year 1795

THE

THE Apoftates planted last year have thriven wonderfully, and fo generally does the foil favour fuch productions, that the more places we plant them. in, they thrive the better. A hard ftoney foil appears, however, to be preferable. The bark is valuable, and generally fells at a high price; the wood being rotten and hollow, is of much less repute.

Petitions and Remonftrances have been very plenty, but from their not having been attended to in the earlier

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stages.